#karkin

Oh god Ok so i had a dream I nearly forgot about last night but i was scrolling through my blog and saw the karkat art and that reminded me I? Think I had a Karkat dream. But like, it was me remembering a Karkat timeline? Goddamn. I can't remember the details, but I do remember it was a lot like how it happens when I consciously recall upsetting mems - I'd been doing something else and minding my own business, I was doing something with a Dave I guess? Like we were trying to accomplish something and get somewhere in a timely fashion, idk what now. And I saw or thought of something that made me remember something, I think it was something about being terrified of being unwanted or ignored, of no one seeing me or acknowledging me. And I began panicking a little and hyperventilating, trying really hard not to cry as emotions and memories and what-ifs all washed over me, and I remember the Dave who was there was trying to talk me through it but when it became clear I couldn't calm down he came over and hugged me and it made me feel better and safer but in the way that I could just cry, so I just kinda began sobbing as he sorta rocked me as we stood there. Something reminded me of my sweater, I dunno if I saw someone else wearing one or just remembered that I had it once, but I saw my current day one laying somewhere nearby and I had the deepest urge to reach for it and wear it, but I didn't want to break the hug and I couldn't stop sobbing. Dave asked me if I wanted to wear it, if that would help in these low tones and I nodded but I think the dream changed or something happened when I grabbed the sweater by the arm to pick it up. So yeah. Uh. That's a thing. I've been lowkey questioning karkat kin for a while so I'm not surprised but, given how I'm getting davekat vibes from both my dave tl and my newly found karkat tl(?) I'm not sure how I feel about this lmao. (I considered if this was a dave mem but since it was me irl getting karkat kinfeels, plus the Dave in the dream didn't feel like me or anything, felt more detached like someone else, I don't think it was me-Dave. )