the months previous ΫΆΰ§
summary: he wants u back and he's desperate
all of it had started as a bet.
the fleeting touches he'd offered the first time you met, the unnecessarily long eye contact β you knew none of it was real when it came to someone like him, he was notorious for leading girls on, after all, yet even with that constant nagging reminder, you'd still fallen victim to the inevitable heartbreak.
however from his view, it'd shifted from being just a bet to much more dangerously quickly.
matter of fact, the whole relationship being built off of lies slipped his mind for a bit.
he'd forgotten when the lines blurred, when he'd started finding genuine serenity in your voice, expected your daily check-ups on him, felt his heart clench uselessly in his chest when he saw tears spill from your oh so gorgeous eyes, tried to understand your hurt, only to end up messing up the comfort he was desperate to give.
he didn't know how to actually hear someone's problems out, being so used to flings and ditching people's hearts far where it didn't concern him.
so it irritated him, when exactly was he invested in nurturing yours?
even that very irritation, he'd found himself able to tolerate as long as he had the chance to stay by your side.
you'd found out through a mutual friend, precisely before the 3 month mark, before he was supposed to 'break up with you and laugh in your face' like he'd stated before he had his heart unexpectedly intertwined in yours.
"hey, y/n, i'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but he's dating you as a bet."
"yeah, these are some of the things he's said about you."
and you wanted to throw up, to hit him, to cry in his arms, all at once, all over again.
to him, whatever insults he'd thrown your way in that vile group chat weren't bad. to top it off, in his mind, he was going easy on you. (because he was head over heels for you)
you expected none of it to be real, yet still cried when you hit the sheets at home, fingers trembling as you texted him, letting him know you were aware, neatly correcting all the spelling mistakes your blurred vision had caused.
but even as your tears dried and the churn in your gut settled, you wondered, did kaiser ever seriously care about you? did he ever value you over the measly sum he was promised?
well, to him, the answer was more than obvious.
he'd pushed his dignity aside for once, deciding to text you.
sure, he could've kept pretending you don't exist to him anymore, but he feared he wouldn't either if he kept the act up. he knew it was a lost cause when scoring a goal wouldn't fill even an inch of the endless void.
but his final destination looped back to your front door as always, due to you blocking him.
how shameful. you, blocking the michael kaiser? maybe he'd done a thing or two, but you couldn't possibly be serious!
"fuck, open the damn door," he mutters under his breath, eyes darting between the time and the wooden barrier between you and him, as if it'd open if he stayed determined enough.
he wore a hoodie slack around his toned body (just so happened to pick out your favourite) and sweatpants, physically unable to get himself to reach for anything better.
he'd been outside your dorm, knocking like a senile weirdo for the past 10 minutes, trying to ignore the dirty looks passing pedestrians shot at him.
it'd hit 15 minutes, then 20, then 30. he had to consistently remind himself why he was waiting so patiently instead of kicking your door down flat.
his head rests against the hard mahogany, starting to lose hope, sore eyes drifting shut. he'd forgotten when the last time he'd gotten proper sleep was.
"kaiser?" you murmur, taken aback, recognising that very hoodie anywhere.
his head snaps back around, looking like he'd seen a ghost, before slowly relaxing, trying and failing to swallow down the lump growing in his throat at the sight of you.
you looked like you'd just returned from a run. how beautiful you'd always been. it hurt his heart to think he'd ever forced himself to think otherwise for something as silly as his reputation between his equally as cruel friends.
"y/n," he sounds, the syllables rolling off his tongue like butter. how he'd missed it.
"what are you... doing?" you question, clearly skeptical regarding his motive.
"are you done being dramatic?"
you grimace at how serious he seems to be.
then once again, when you further inspect how he really looks.
his hair looked unkempt, signature grin long wiped off, eyes red-rimmed. you despised still having the ability to tell the difference.
"dramatic?" you repeat flatly, tone holding mild insult.
he looks appalled, yet stands his ground. "what?" "you can't seriously expect to come to my door, call me dramatic, and expect me to crawl back."
he crosses his arms, irritation scorching his tongue, hot and painful. he reminded himself to not throw such snide remarks, but he didn't know how to deal with such shallow emotions either. "it's not that big of a deal, you know i wouldn't mean that," he scoffs.
why were you being so hard to deal with? he thought.
but as he looks at youβ really, looks at you, he sees the way your eyes seem to mirror his. puffy, tired, strained.
"do i know that? have i really ever known you?" you shoot back, rightfully suspicious.
"come on, enough with this. it's lame."
"is it not exciting, being unable to toy with my feelings?" "that's not what i said." "it might as well be."
he groans, running a fidgety hand straight through the mess his blonde rugged hair was.
"i don't know how to do this," he admits, reluctant to make even eye contact.
"you're past elementary, i'm sure you do." panic floods his chest as you push past him, keys jingling as you hastily unlock the door.
you were about to slip away again, right before his eyes.
"i-i'm sorry," he ultimately forces out, cringing inwardly at the phrase.
you pause for a moment, considering his apology, taking account of how oddly genuine he sounds.
"i don't know how to fix this, just please β" he reaches out to ground himself with an inch of you, fingers slotting between an inch of the fabric you were wearing.
"β come back, i-i can't handle how quiet it is."
you fully freeze right then and there, well aware turning around or choosing not to wouldn't change your fate. your heart always softened pathetically for him, betraying you.
"i don't know, kaiser." you sound so set on leaving him behind, to suffer without you, and it sends a surge of shock through his body.
"look, i know this started as a bet, but i've gained actual feelings for you. i'm not kidding-" "but how can i trust you? what if this is another, for 'another 100 bucks'," you mimic, forming finger quotes. he despised the saltiness in your tone.
"what is there more for me to say? you just don't wanna fuckin' believe me, right?" he hisses, lunging dangerously close to you, his somber expression shifting to pure irritation.
"if you're gonna resort to this," you motion, stepping back further. "we don't have to talk at all." you pull away from him yet again, stepping into the safety of your doorway.
what you didn't realize was his desperation having grown into suffocating dread. he wouldn't let you go, he couldn't. "no, y/n."
"come on, what do i have to do?"
and the question made you chuckle, a bitter one.
you were done right about then, pushing the door open a tad more, ready to shut it behind you, well aware he wouldn't do that.
he held his pride high above any matter. begging, let alone on his knees? out of the question. you felt a slight hint of relief, finally able to sink into the comfort of your sheets again, to try forget about the encounter.
he groans, an exasperated one, eyes scouring the surroundings to make sure no one else was watching. even then, he realized doing that was simply instinct.
he didn't give a shit about who passed by, all he cared for was you.
to your surprise, you hear the stiff thud of his knees hitting the concrete ground, and for a second, you think it's just a figment of your imagination, but you're proved otherwise when your eyes do meet his hunched over figure.
"please, y/n," he manages, begrudgingly, sounding breathless. your eyes only widen further, shock striking you at the sheer boldness of it all.
"you'll take me back, won't you?" you'd assumed his actions were solely to hush you, to finally have you back with him, but how rash he was acting took you aback.
well crap, you hadn't expected him to actually try.
