18 for AoKi. Please. DOESN'T MATTER WHICH ONE OF THEM SAY IT. Give me angst..or fluff (or you know.. both).
18. âI shouldnât be in love with you.â
title: drownpairing: aokisegenre: angst with a happy endingw/c: 2200summary: one night with kise turns into a dozen and aomine begins to wonder if he can really dip his feet in without letting himself drown.a/n: you said the magic words, cocobeans ⼠this got away from me hahaon ao3
The first time they hook up, itâs at an after-party for one of Kiseâs events. Itâs flashy and loud - all glitter and gold and flashbulb lights. Everything Kise is used to, attention he basks in. Aomine had been uncomfortable then, nursing a drink (his fourth of the night) and staying in his corner until Kise had been ready to leave. It was by chance Aomine had run into him in the first place, the spontaneous invite out of the blue and probably offered because Kise couldnât find anyone else to go with him at the last minute.
âMy date canceled,â heâd said, tapping away on his phone before heâd offered a sheepish grin and a hopeful tilt of his head. âWhy donât you come with me instead? Itâll be fun, Aominecchi! We can play basketball after if you get bored.â
Aomine had tried to decline, tried to find an excuse not to go so he wouldnât have to spend the night boozing with a crowd that made him feel out of place, like he didnât quite belong. But Kise was insistent. And when Kise has his mind set, Aomine has learned long ago not to even try.
When heâd found himself tangled with Kise in an empty coat room of the banquet hall, the music blaring from somewhere close by, Aomine had tried to think of a million excuses why itâd been a bad idea. But between the end of his fifth glass and Kiseâs mouth burning a trail along the curve of his jaw, his excuses had disappeared into a haze filled with sloppy, heated, wanting kisses that continued well into the night, promise of basketball forgotten.
All he remembers is a hangover from hell, aching limbs, and Kiseâs half-turned smile as he lay naked beneath the crumpled white of starched sheets tugged around legs that had been wrapped around him only hours before. Heâd snuck out that morning, a texted apology and an impulsive kiss against Kiseâs wayward strands all that was left as a reminder of what heâd tried to forget.
If Kise was bothered by his abrupt departure, he didnât let on. Instead, heâd called for lunch a few days later and by the time theyâd hooked up at least a dozen times (thirteen, but who was counting), Aomine knew he needed to make a decision. Needed to end things before it became so complicated, heâd drown in it like he did at thirteen. He thought heâd learned his lesson, even when, at fifteen, Kise had swept him in again before heâd realized it was too late to turn back. But now heâs older, wiser. More adept at recognizing the pull, the wreckage Kise would leave.
It seems, he thinks as he narrows his eyes at the publication heâd tossed on the table where Kise had been sitting with a model Aomine vaguely recognizes, that his decision has been made for him. Makes it easier, he tells himself. Makes it so I never have to go through this shit again.
But the thought only makes him angrier, more upset with himself than anything else that heâd let it happen again. That heâd been so stupid.Â
The magazine lays open on the table, pages crumpled beyond repair, but somehow managing to flip open at the exact page responsible for inciting Aomineâs ire in the first place.
Kiseâs picture stares up at him, wrinkled but still vibrant, still teasing, his finger pressed secretively against lips Aomine knows well. But the look isnât meant for him; instead, Kise is pressed up against someone else. Someone, who up until an hour before, Aomine had been sure was just âa friend from workâ.Â
His fingers curl into his palms, nails biting into the skin, intent on breaking it if only to feel something else besides the hurt and confusion churning like venom in his gut, the irritation singing in his veins. The sting keeps him distracted as Kise stands in front of him, guiltily biting the edge of his lip while he fumbles for an excuse.Â
Because anything he says right then is just that. An excuse, a half-hearted attempt to keep Aomineâs temper in check, a way to smooth things over.
Aomine should have known better. But he is just as stupid, just as gullible, just as fucked as the first time he let himself fall, let himself drown, wreckage be damned.Â
âAominecchi, itâs not what you thiââ Kise starts, his half-empty glass of whatever blue fruity thing heâs decided to have this time around knocked carelessly aside when heâd jumped apart from the model heâd shot with earlier in the day. Aomine gives the guy a once over, attempting to shove away the image of his arm around Kiseâs shoulder, whispered conversation meant for places probably less public than some crummy bar. His steeled gaze scrutinizes the pale skin, the perfectly symmetrical face, the black button-up with sleeves rucked up to the guyâs elbows. Easy on the eyes, he thinks. Exactly like someone Kise should be with.
âWasnât thinkinâ anything,â Aomine replies with a knowing smirk in the guyâs direction. It earns him a confused grin in return, and even in the darkness of the bar, he can feel Kiseâs burning gaze on him. âJust thought Iâd drop this off. Itâs what you wanted to talk about, right? You couldâve just texted. It wouldâve been a hell of a lot faster to get it over with than dragginâ my ass down here. Nice article, by the way,â he says with a dry chuckle, before he hands the other guy a handful of bills and pats his shoulder and, because his insides feel hollowed out and he needs something, anything, to make him not feel as dumb as he probably looks, he lashes out with a snide, âhe likes the blue drinks, but the green ones will do the trick faster.â
Kiseâs expression is enough to level him, to ignite the guilt that joins the silent agony he refuses to acknowledge. His companion continues to look just as confused as before, but Aomine doesnât stay to hear what either of them has to say. He turns and deadpans, tosses a mocking salute over his shoulder before weaving his way through the crowd. The air outside is cold, biting, but it tempers the stifling heat suffocating him moments before. The wind permeates through his clothes, runs a shiver up his spine. He tugs his coat around himself, intent on putting as much distance between him and whatever the hell just happened.Â
âWait, Aominecchi!â
Aomine quickens his pace, curses himself for the sting behind his eyelids, and shoves his hands into his pockets as he pushes through despite the chilled wind whipping his face. Belated, he realizes his breaths have shallowed, and when a hand grabs his arm to pull him back, he exhales with a gasp as he whirls around to find Kise, wild-eyed and hair mussed, expression just as wrecked as Aomine feels.Â
Walls building back up, brick by brick, he deadpans before yanking his arm away. âI donât have time for this shit,â he says, tone even. A little exasperated at having been made to have this conversation. But betraying nothing else.
âIf youâd just let me explainââ
Aomine snorts, shakes his head. âItâs fine. You needed to get laid, I was there, it was convenient. I get it.â
âNo, you donât. Itâs not like thââ
âI read the article.â Aomine rolls his eyes at Kiseâs incredulous look. âI know, surprise, surprise. I actually do read your shit. Wouldâve been nice to find out Iâm ânobody specialâ without havinâ to read it outta some fucking magazine, but hey, canât lose what you didnât have, right?â
âAominecchi,â Kise tries again, voice tight. Aomine avoids looking at his face on purpose, doesnât know if he can stomach what heâd find if he did. âWhen I did that interview, it was the day after you left me in the hotel and I didnât know what that was or what we were because you disappeared and Iââ
But Aomine puts a hand up to stop him. âThat was a mistake. I shoulda stopped it then âcause I knew where that shit was going. I knew it like how I knew it wasnât gonna work back in high school âcause I was good enough for you to fuck around with when no one knew about it, but not good enough to tell anyone aboutââ
âAominecchi, please,â Kise whispers, desperate now, his hands twitching like heâs trying to keep from reaching out. Aomine knows the feeling.Â
âIt was me. I fucking let it happen and I shoulda known better.â Aomine scoffs, bites the edge of his lip to keep his voice from shaking before he continues, âI mean, youâre you,â he says plainly, rambling now, waving a hand at Kise like it should be obvious that the universe is fucking with him. âI shouldnât be in love with you.â
Kise stills, eyes wide and Adamâs apple noticeably bobbing. Itâs a minute before he speaks, but when he does, itâs hesitant, unsure. âWhat?â he squeaks, taking a step back and shaking his head like Aomine had said something in a foreign language he couldnât understand.Â
With a hand at his nape, Aomine shrugs. âDoesnât matter,â he says, meeting Kiseâs gaze and holding it; a glint of a challenge. âIâm ânobody specialâ⌠remember?â
âI lied!â Kise throws his hands up in the air before tangling his fingers through his hair in surprising frustration. âI didnât want to sound more pathetic than I already felt. I thought when weâd met up again that maybe this time, itâd be different. This time, I wasnât going to mess it up. Weâre not as dumb as we both were before, weâd had time to figure out what we wanted, and I even canceled my date so youâd come to the party with me.â He sucks in a shaky breath, the tremble of his lip something Aomine fights to brush away. âBut you left. And then I thought I was so stupid for thinking I could be to you what youâve always been to meââ
It takes a second for Aomine to register what Kise had said, but when he does, he plants a hand on Kiseâs face to shut him up as he tries to piece it together. âHold on, what?âÂ
Kise bats his hand away. âYou were always looking at those magazines and you never seemed to be interested in what I had to say or what I was doing outside of basketball, so I thought, I donât know, that I would end it before I got hurt any more than I already did,â he says, voice quiet. His lip juts out in a small pout, the glance he gives Aomine a little helpless, a little embarrassed. âThat guy you saw me with inside? That wasnât what you thought â he was trying to talk me into confessing and I was too chicken to do it âcause I didnât want to mess up whatever we are. But I did that anyway, so I guess it doesnât matter if you know now.â
Aomine lets the words sink in, takes in Kiseâs mournful expression before he closes his eyes and doubles over, laughter echoing through the near empty parking lot. He braces a hand against his knee, presses the other against his side to alleviate the cramping pain. Kise waits for the laughter to subside before he squats in front of Aomine and tentatively ventures, âa-are you okay? I donât get whatâs so funnyâŚâ
Aomine shakes his head and straightens, offering to help Kise up. âYouâre an idiot, yâknow that?â he says, suddenly hyper-aware of the way his heart thrums against his rib cage and that heâs still holding on to Kiseâs hand.Â
Kise looks affronted at the insult, but something in Aomineâs expression must have looked less tense, less angry than it did a moment before because he scoffs and tries to cross his arms without letting Aomine go. Their eyes meet and they both burst into hysterics. It isnât until theyâve both calmed down that Aomine realizes how closely theyâre standing together. Kise seems to sense it at exactly the same moment, his eyes zeroing in on Aomineâs mouth when he bites the edge out of anticipation.Â
âSo, um,â Kise murmurs, so close that Aomine feels the warmth of his breath, catches the hint of sandalwood. Aches with the memory of it, the familiar yearning for something he thought heâd never have. âWhat now?â
âYouâre an idiot, Iâm an idiot,â Aomine says with a shrug, arms fitting around Kise like they were always meant to be there. âWe can be idiots together? Wait, that sounds stupid and cheesy and just forget I saiââ
âDaiki,â Kise says with a small grin, lips so agonizingly close that Aomine can almost taste him, âI love cheesy. And stupid. Almost as much as I love you. Now, are you going to shut up and kiss me or do I have toââ
Before Kise can finish, Aomine closes the distance. Forgets dipping his feet in and lets himself drown.Â














