【―💫 ❞】the sound of a crying infant was the first thing that krystal heard on liberation day, early on in the humid morning. blinking herself awake, she stumbled down the hall to aurora’s nursery, always quick to respond to her three month old’s wails, no matter what the time. and there she lay, kicking her tiny feet under her blanket furiously, yelling for attention from her young mother.

❝ shhh, mama’s here, ❞ krystal murmured softly, carefully pulling her daughter into her arms, close to her chest, hoping a bit of bouncing and comfort would soothe her- and it seemed to be working, aurora’s cries quickly became quieter, and, still holding her, krys made her way to turn on a lamp, carefully gathering a fresh onesie with one hand, setting the baby down to change her as her samoyed puppy marched into the room, tail wagging as he had heard all the commotion. whilst caring for the little one, krys managed to glance up at the calendar on the wall, catching sight of the date. ❝ hmm, happy independence day, aurora, ❞ she cooed, buttoning up the little onesie. ❝ you’re not so independent yet, baby, but don’t worry ... ❞ her eyes moved to the photo of a smiling jaeseop also hanging on the wall. ❝ ... mama’s still learning too. ❞ damn it jae, i wish you were here.

it had only been a few months since the death of her husband, and krystal still felt much like she was drowning. never one to be totally independent in her own mind, she always relied on others, growing up- from her sister, to her members, to her friends, to her husband- and now that the most vital pillar of support was no longer alive, every day was a struggle in itself. and though she wanted to lean on someone, krys knew that she had to learn to manage her life on her own, though the task was daunting. ❝  you and aurora will be just fine. ❞  her husband’s confidence in her, even with his dying words, drove her every morning, and they were on her mind as she settled aurora in her little reclining high chair, moving around the kitchen to find breakfast for them both, the dog sitting at her feet, hoping for his own food as she spoke, despite knowing the baby didn’t understand.

❝ your daddy was so confident in us, star child. confident in me, even though he knew that i’m the least independent person. even before you were born, he always told mama that she wasn’t as dependent as she saw herself. maybe he was right, but ... i don’t know. i guess i depend on your godfather sometimes, but, look at me ... getting up and taking care of your tiny lil baby self, all on my own, and the cats, the bunny, and this big doof. ❞ she reaches down to pet the puppy’s head. ❝ i couldn’t have done all that before ... but i miss your appa. ❞

She was drowning. That’s how it felt. Every breath she took, rather than air, brought more water instead, burning her lungs, her body begging her to stop the pain, screaming for an end, an end that she wouldn’t give.

It was early yet, this day, the birds had not yet woken from their slumber, no sign of the sun on the horizon, but it was a new day. His birthday.

Jaeseop’s birthday.