#justcarly

A little late but here's to #being27 Was supposed to post being27 on my birthday to marks the beginning of the year but well, this is my first photo taken in my 27th year 🤣😂 so here goes nothing. As usual, it starts off thanking 26th. 26 has been a year of healing and of getting to know myself and be comfortable with it. Don't get me wrong, there's still a lot of work to be done but there's no rush to it as it'll never ends so I'm taking my time to patch myself up on a day when I don't feel like dying 😂 I give into depression sometimes and I fight it sometimes, I win some, I lost some but that's life. I can't complaint, 26 was Hella boring ngl. But it being a boring piece of sh*t doesn't deny the fact that it was healing and empowering. I was caught up on life and racing through life as it's catching up with me, afraid of falling behind. I was trying to ty my life up together and pretend everything was alright when there's mountains of problems that haven't been solved lol 27 started off OK. Got friends who are there for me, got friends who always includes me, got friend who's making things right again with me, got people who looks out for me and checking up on me. Also, I got a car! Another responsibility I need to carry on top of all those I've ignored 😂🤣👍 but so far, I hope my life has been going in the right direction. It was a bumpy ride with work since 26th and now onto 27th but if my mentality is healthier, who's counting? Let's find stability, 27! Let's keep the pace, half a step at a time. Let's visit home... 🤗 Here's to another year, here's to keep on breathing, here's to making it through 27,heres to being alive, here's to us! #summerof2022 #27 #justcarly #carlyinVictoria #victoria #canada #outandabout #CarlyOnExplore #craigdarroch #craigdarroccastle #destinationVictoria #bc #bucketlist #sightseeing #smile #selfcare (at Craigdarroch Castle) https://www.instagram.com/p/CfPODgUJLT3/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

2 days (or 1 day in Home timezone) till 2020(too), (😬this shiat scares me lmao, more than the covid pendemic, there's sth else in 2020 that I definitely don't wanna go through ever again. So here's my 2021 recap (I haven't done this since idk, 2015?ish 🤷‍♀️) Was planning to post picture of me every months but I don't even take picture every 3 months lmao. Hence, there's none) thus, here's a picture of me (sort of?) and the beautiful scenery this Fall. (focus on the beautiful sunset)... 2021 was a challenge. Despite the fact that my emotion is healing and stabilized, there are a lot of challenges on the daily basis. Though Im still uselessly and pathetically going through each day of 2021, it was mentally tough. I couldn't pursue my initial program anymore due to the financial circumstances. I switched my program hoping to solve the initial problems only to face the problems the new one brings. And all of them revolves around finance. I had hoped that I'd be working and earning money right about now but well, things never goes as planned, right? After I spent half of 2021 in school with the new programmed and enduring the unpaid training while trying to make sure I have enough for rent and basicc spending, the next step lead me to destroy my own mental health. For a couple of months I was left in a slumb, a quick sand where I was struggling to breathe. I have little to no help and I can't ask for one. I don't know how to ask for one so I just walk in circle hoping for a way out which definitely not happening. I haven't been struggling like this since the time I applied to come to Canada. Paperwork kills me. Anyway, point is, only after my completion of the program do I find out that I cannot apply for work permit with that and have to yet take another detour (🤣 at this point I'm just gonna laugh it off cuz well, nth can be done) so yeah, I'm waiting to see the next episode of my life lol #rawshot #quicksnap #justcarly #goodvibes #goodday #smile #peace #carlyinVictoria #CarlyOnExplore #victoria #canada #outandabout #randomthoughts #sorandom #fromsorascave #cavewoman #cambodian #cambodia #khmer #bored #goodbye2021 #random #ranting #recap #lifeisshit haha (at Ogden Point Breakwater) https://www.instagram.com/p/CYIRfSjlUhb/?utm_medium=tumblr

Saturday... Surprisingly, watching horror film last night made me feel good today? Idk, I'm still scared shitless but well, it's normal, right? I'm just gonna bare it for another week or so before I could go back to not hearing my heart pumping out of my chest when it's dark out but... I guess the film made me more alert lol Here's a selfie proof of me still alive after regretting my decision for a zillions time lmao Anyway, have a good weekend yall.. And happy holiday. Upcoming, I know but wouldn't know when I would be posting picture so here it is, merry Christmas and happy new year. I hope 2021 ended on a good enough note for everyone. Sucks but well we sort of made it through. #justcarly #goodvibes #goodday #smile #selfie #quickselfie #selca #random #sorandom #fromsorascave #cavewoman #cambodian #cambodia #khmer #bored #carlyinVictoria #victoria #canada #outandabout #randomthoughts #mirrorselfie #mirror #cold #CarlyOnExplore #winter #December #feelsgood #loveyourself #vibes #sweaterweather https://www.instagram.com/p/CXpdbfELFSn/?utm_medium=tumblr

It's been a while since I feel like myself. And it's been a while since that day. I'm still not feeling like myself but it's okay, right? I've been depleted from my confidence, my little self love I have left. Cuz everytime I post a picture of myself, when I was feeling good about it (even when I don't feel it often), there are people with the tendency to bring such hate, to body shaming people who's holding onto the thin threat just to stay alive. And tough as it is to say, there are people like that in my life too. Instead of lifting people up, they excel in dragging them to the dark pit of well. These people don't know how hard it is to scrape microscopic fragments of self love, self acceptance just to not end one's life due to overloaded self hatred. Parts of me wanting them to one day be able to taste such medicine and see how bitter it tasted but part of me wanting no one else to have to go through it. So here I am, after a while, feeling like I am OK again. Feeling like it's OK to show people who I am and how I look like again and not caving myself up. If u wanna say I'm fat, u can shut it, I know I am. U don't need to voice ur unwelcomed opinion. U're not in my shoe, and just like I am not in urs, u don't know what my life is steering toward and how it has been. So I appreciated if u have nothing nice to say, I prefer u keep ur ugly thoughts to urself and hopefully have fun with it on ur own. Sincerely Yours, Carly #justcarly #goodvibes#goodday #carlyinVictoria #CarlyOnExplore #victoria #canada #outandabout#randomthoughts #cambodian #cambodia #khmer #bored #selfie #quickselfie #selca #random #sorandom #fromsorascave #cavewoman #Happiness #selflove #quicksnap #mirrorselfie #mirror (at Victoria, British Columbia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXSFSrLJWAJ/?utm_medium=tumblr

It's 11, 11. I don't know who made this official but happy single day yall. Marks my 26th anniversary being bi-myself (hoping to say bisexual but I've been looked at by neither so yes, I'm Bi-Myself). Prolly the post of announcing this to the world (hopefully my mother wouldn't understand this or she'll die of heart attack) but most of my friend would prolly already see me bending and never believe I was straight anyway so whatever. Yet here I am crushing on this guy I have no guts to tell him lmao. I meant, subconsciously my head tell me he doesn't look my way and so there's the end of my crush lol. I'm too boyish to flirt and too girly to confess. I'm like on the worse scale of bisexuality 😅 anyway, there you go, the sum of my single life. Would I make it to the 27th mark? Chances are highly likely cuz now I'm spending all my time in my room not even talking to my roommates. So yeah, I'll keep this posted lol #justcarly #goodvibes #goodday #smile #selfie #quickselfie #selca #random #sorandom #fromsorascave #cavewoman #cambodian #cambodia #khmer #bored #carlyinVictoria #victoria #canada #outandabout #randomthoughts #bymyself #singleday #1111 #2021 #CarlyOnExplore #ogden #ogdenpoint #atsunset #sunset #introvert https://www.instagram.com/p/CWJ3tHAPFpP/?utm_medium=tumblr

Dry fish vocal lmao #justcarly #quickcover #kelsea #ballerini #kelseaballerini #iquitdrinking #carlyinVictoria #victoria #canada #random #sorandom #fromsorascave #cavewoman #cambodian #cambodia #khmer #bored #CarlyOnExplore #randomcover #acoustic #acousticcover #song #music #life #asian (at Victoria, British Columbia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTi6tFnAEs9/?utm_medium=tumblr

Day 733: I got annoyed at my hair but I couldn't cut it short cuz I promise to keep it till I get back home. So I ended up straightening it and wasted 500 bucks. Fun fact: the salon here sucks lol it's not even straight after the first wash, it went back to wavy, less frizzy which is great but still wavy. 🥴 Should I ask for refund? #justcarly #goodvibes #goodday #smile #selfie #quickselfie #selca #random #sorandom #fromsorascave #cavewoman #cambodian #cambodia #khmer #bored #carlyinVictoria #victoria #canada #outandabout #randomthoughts #niceweather #quicksnap #sky #sora #hair (at Victoria, British Columbia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTIOWq8jI9U/?utm_medium=tumblr

Celebrating @ftisland wind's 4th anniversary. The song is still very enchanted and also, singing it reminds me of how great a vocalist @skullhong12 is. His wide range of vocal versatile still impressed me. Now that u're off the military, can we have another single at the very least by the end of the year please? #ftisland #wind #cover #suckcover #justcarly #goodvibes #goodday #smile #music #life #asian #cambodian #cambodia #khmer #bored #carlyinVictoria #victoria #canada #leehongki #fivetreasureisland #ft아일랜드 #윈드 #바람 #바람에 #커버 #좋았어요 (at Victoria, British Columbia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQFXZETrVnz/?utm_medium=tumblr