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for godβs sake, itβs us escaping from Camazotz
weβve been vecnaβd, remember? how consistent and easy do you think it should be?
chill, we will, thereβs always a key and an exit!
the thing to remember: when it opens, just run!
(Iβm still in shock that people believe it was nothing this easily)
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ok ladies " I'm not good enough for you " means I'm in a very dark place , I got a self destructive behavior ultimately I might hurt you physically or / and emotionally if you keep coming aroud
I know Iβm posting a lot tonight but literally five minutes ago when my husbandβs alarm went off, he woke up and realized I hadnβt gone to bed yet. This is against the rules. He wasnβt happy.
And he started to give me shit for it but then realized that I was anxious and asked what was wrong. I explained to him I was having a trauma response to a trigger. And he immediately started comforting me.
He adjusted for my trauma trigger. He calmed me down. I felt safe.
He told me I wasnβt in trouble and he understood.
People like to say heβs abusive but he realized that I was in distress and I didnβt even safe word and he backed off. (I hadnβt decided if I wanted to safe word yet. Sometimes the trouble helps ground me. But this shows he was paying attention and was concerned.)
So, he didnβt punish me. He just helped me feel better.
And then he accidentally hit me in the eye reaching to stroke my hair because we were in the dark and then he felt like a monster (which is what inspired my last post π). I joked that I got punished anyways, and we laughed and he went to shower. Now I hear him arguing with our dog. And Iβm sitting here laughing at how ridiculous it is hearing him argue with the dog. And Iβm thinking about how loved and happy I am. Iβm also thinking that this feeling here was worth sticking around for and Iβm glad I didnβt succeed in ending my life all those years ago.
Thereβs no real point to this except that I feel I have a place I can share these real life parts of our dynamic because I think a lot of people donβt realize that it isnβt just sex, beatings or all this seriousness. Thatβs kind of what you see in some fantasies people have, but itβs definitely not my reality. Itβs compassion, patience, love and laughing for me too. Itβs also, in my case, healing for me.
You donβt have to follow some preconceived βrulesβ you have in your head about kink. I did that before. It didnβt work. I was unhappy. Weβve adapted this to what works for us. And itβs honestly really amazing.
β¦ like, every morning. (working on getting back to it after half year off).
I think tbosas' ending with lucy gray running away is so good and important for a number of reasons, but the main one is:
if you see the red flags, girl, run.
I've seen some weird takes on social media, on how lucy gray should've stayed, how coriolanus only wanted to talk, how coriolanus and lucy gray could've ended together living in D12... and honestly, I can't really think of an ending where he wouldn't kill her at some point. women are always encouraged to stay, to talk, to have patience, but if a man starts showing the red flags he was showing, don't stay, because your life can be in risk.
lucy gray didn't wait for her life to be actual risk. she ran away before she was his 4th kill. and honestly?
good for her.
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spider watching me flinch and cuss it out as I spot it on the bathroom door but is too scared to actually kill it and I canβt ask someone else cause itβs 3AM HELP
hey that's fred i've been looking for him all night plz don't hurt he's a pet
trained him to roll over n shit it was a lot of work
throwaway post but like π€‘ ''EYYYIIIIKKEESSS!!!'' (shocked blue emoji)
π ''It might have been that Kaufmo rated the most popular restaurant in Torontoβ¦ When you mew over your freaky point?''
π€‘''What.''
