#just pray

This life is hard. The need of stable income versus my overwhelming desire for freedom plus the pressure to have a child before it’s too late and the constant feeling that my world is shrinking, shrinking, shrinking, and the terror of making irreversible decisions preventing me from living, and the lie that things will never get better is so loud.

It’s so loud.

OUTPOURING OF LOVE

I woke up with a sort of quiet desperation rumbling in the core of my being. Struggle is nothing new. Southwest Detroit breeds a mental toughness that will eternally rest within its children. But this wasn’t about me.

My girlfriend spent the night sleeping in her car with two infants and boys under the age of 12. They had been forced to leave their home by Family Services due to abuses they had endured. I remained powerless to help as I had spent every penny I had to secure a hotel room for them to stay in relying on others to pick up where I left off.

Things happen. Nothing ever goes according to plan. Accepting that fact wasn’t going to hurt anymore than being frustrated over it would. Complaining about it wasn’t going to change the fact my newborns were sleeping in car seats 1200 miles across the country.

So I prayed. I gave thanks to God for the air in our lungs and the rising of the sun; For all the beauty in the world and the opportunity to fail so miserably as a human being.

Then I took action and asked for help publicly. What happened next was an amazing outpouring of love from humanity. Within 4 hours I had the cash to send her way so she could start driving here. I had a car seat, toys, a crib, clothing, blankets, comforters and a twin sized mattress. Information on how to secure emergency food stamps and phone numbers for food pantries in the area. An old customer- whom I didn’t even sell a machine- gathered all these cans of formula and diapers for us. Every bit of desperation melted away as the hours unfolded.

Trust in God. Believe in humanity. Value life. Things will always work out no matter how horrifying they may seem.