#juni hc

no one remembers whose idea it was. and while we could all make an educated guess, what DID happen is that someone added an event to the family calendar titled “MANDATORY TEAM-BUILDING: Dungeons & Dragons” and because bruce saw the words “team-building” he approved it without reading.

so that’s how they end up in the manor’s living room with the huge table covered in dice, paper, and three different bowls of pretzels. tim is the DM. this was a mistake. (for them, not for him. he looks thrilled. haunted, but thrilled).

the party, you ask?

dick is a sunshine bard with a tragic backstory, dedicating 15 whole minutes to describing his hair. he fails to seduce an npc within minutes of the game

damian has challenged the same npc’s goat to a duel. tim is losing hair

Gravemaw, aka jason todd, looted four separate corpses that were not in the room before he got there.

steph has stolen from jason, who stole from damian, who stole from dick, who didn’t realise he was being robbed.

duke has healed everyone twice already.

cass is the only one assisting in progressing the plot.

bruce made a character that is so aggressively bland it has wrapped back around into horrifying. (Sir Normalman, the human fighter).

bruce suddenly announces: “Sir Normalman would like to negotiate with the bandits.” and everyone freezes. looks at him.

tim: you… you want to communicate?

bruce: communication prevents conflict.