Hi, I happened to see a post of yours titled ‘clarifications for non-jews’, and I’ve got a question about one of the points; that non-Jews self-describing as goy can be a cause for concern. (Which I didn’t know! Lesson learned, post successful?)
What I want to know is, is there a similar connotation around the word gentile when used by non-jews?
What a thoughtful question; thank you for your consideration! I actually had to do a little research to answer this one, and now we've both learned things. I personally have never heard "gentile" used offensively by either Jew or non-Jew, but almost any word can be pejorative in the right (wrong?) context. DH says the same and has the same overall perspective as I do.
Merriam-Webster's definition and Moment Magazine's 10-year-old summary of the history of the word note that "gentile" is also used by Mormons to refer to non-Mormons, and that in centuries past it was the equivalent of "heathen," particularly used to refer to people who didn't belong to an Abrahamic religion. Both of those uses strike me as problematic for modern-day interfaith dialogue involving Jews, so perhaps this is not the greatest word to use. Moment Magazine takes issue with the very idea of referring to someone in terms of what they are not and so doesn't even like "non-Jew," but to me that seems like overkill; the fact is that the collective concept of Jew vs. non-Jew is still relevant and it needs a word.
The consensus among assorted other Jewish publications and fora seems to be that the word is neutral and possibly rather archaic. It might be problematic in the context of non-Jewish spouses of Jews because it's "othering," but that's as much an internal Jewish community issue as a general interfaith dialogue issue. My final vote is that it's a less loaded word than "goy" and will probably raise fewer hackles, but you might still be best off with "non-Jew." Fellow Jews, care to weigh in?
