That July 9th... the beat of your heart 💜

The smell of the rain

Fresh on the pavement

I ran off the plane

That July ninth

So it’s July 9th. Another Last Kiss Day. I wanted to write about why I relate to this song so much. I was really hoping I’d maybe someday get to share this with Taylor herself...but here it goes.

This song came out at a time in my life that I was really hurting. It had been about a year since my serious girlfriend and I had broken up. Our relationship was always fantastic. We almost never fought and loved spending time in each others company. Her family liked me, my family liked her. We dated for 1 year, 5 months and 1 week. We had been almost inseparable the entire relationship right up until late September, about a week or two past her birthday. After that I felt her slipping a bit, I didn’t really know what was going on. For about a week I gave her space and finally I decided we had to talk. We talked. It ended. 

It was sudden, abrupt; It came completely by surprise. I had figured maybe we would take some time apart and maybe find our way back. It never happened. 

Truly the entirety of the relationship, I never thought we’d have a Last Kiss. Our final one came late one night at her dorm. She allowed me to come over so that we might try and talk things through. We both decided that it would be better if, at least for the time being, we went our separate ways. She walked me out to my car and we shared one last kiss. 

I truly felt and lived these lines:

“So I’ll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep; And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe”

For months after our relationship ended, whenever she was tagged in pictures I would look to see what she was up to and how she was doing. I imagined what it would be like if I were there with her. I felt her forgetting me as she moved on with her life. The chapter that was Us had ended.

I never imagined it would end like that. The only reason she really ever gave was that she didn’t feel the same as she did before, and that her mind had changed.

I never planned on her changing her mind.

Last Kiss is an emotional song for me. It’s beautiful, poignant and raw. It truly is one of my all-time favorite songs. And I will always, ALWAYS celebrate Last Kiss Day because it really means so much to me, just like it meant so much to Taylor.

Lmao LAST KISS DAY REALLY DID THAT

THE BEAT OF YOUR HEART

IT JUMPS THROUGH YOUR SHIRT