iāll leave you alone. i might even delete my blog because i feel so toxic to everyone here and like its toxic for me because everyone has each other and i dont and fuck it
i hate myself. i know what BTS says, but I just canāt
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i know nobody will read this and care, but still. i tried lol
this is the post i was talking about making earlier
okay so basically what is going on is iām trying to decide if i want to go see my dad on christmas. Like iāve said before, heās a narcissist and a complete asshole and a bit abusive (mentally and emotionally, only a bit physical when I was little) but heās still my father. the reason I would isnāt for him, but to spend more time with my brother whoās been kinda mia and my sister and her fiancee.Ā
My brother is in an argument with my mom atm, and he basically ran away from home to live with my dad.Ā
and then this sister lives in a different city and basically never comes home, so i never see her except on holidays. which sucks.Ā
but i just donāt know if i want to suffer seeing my dad, and then talking to his family and ughĀ
but i may be able to convince my other sister to go and stay for a period of time and then leave, but still.Ā
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No, part of it is an interrupted routine. We were supposed to leave for my grandparentās this morning, and we still havenāt left. And we arenāt even using my momās car??? weāre going in my sisters??? and the dog is coming??? its just weird.