#jukia

Like? Those are her guys. . .

I can't wrap my head around this. I don't understand how I could fall for this?

Its so not my type, none of it. Maybe the girl, physically, the way she sometimes talks to me and how she treats me. But in the context? I'm nothing special to her. Her affection and sweet mannerisms toward me? The umbrella of friendliness extends that far. Especially considering how much and the type of attention everyone else gets. In context. Not just in frequency.

I treat her like she is special to me, to the capacity I can reasonably be expected to, if not more. I say it, I try to back it up. In front of others and in private. She has been.

What am I going to do?

It's so one sided. I don't want it to be one sided. I don't want it to be "get what you ask for." I want more. I want what it truly needs to be, become, or end up being. What both of us meeting amounts to in sincere potential. And right now it seems like the only potential is based upon my emotions and my will and drive to confirm or refute their validity. Not substantial and metaphysical. Not romantic and lovely. Just feelings.