#juava-min

The glow in the kitchen is yellow, the little light bulb under the cabinet working hard to light the room on its own, its nooks and crannies dark. The low hum of the refrigerator pitches through the room, its song light in the quiet house.  It’s not even 4:30 in the morning when you creep down the hallway of your sister's home. Footsteps light as you float into the small kitchen. Not a crumb on the floor or a dish in the sink. Bottles and sippy cups sitting immaculate and notched onto the hooks of a lilac drying rack, now a dim grey in the dark. 

It’s cold. 

The heat having yet to pop back on, you pull your small shorts lower over your bottom. Hand rubbing smoothly over your chest to warm up as your nipples pebble through your spaghetti strap, popping the fridge open with the other. 

The fluorescent light is temporarily blinding but you recover, eyes glossy as you peruse. Frowning deep at the Go-go squeezes and pureed baby food. Cuddled up next to rich leftovers of greens, sweet potatoes, and smothered chicken. 

God–you were gonna shit yourself. 

Your stomach was doing flips just looking at your options. All you needed was some ginger-ale, chicken broth, bone broth, something, anything, to settle your stomach.

-

You had skipped dinner, crediting your bubbling stomach ache when Annie asked you if you were gonna join. She had looked you up and down, eyes big and frown deep as she lifted a hand to your forehead, murmuring an, “Okay.” when she felt the slight warmness of your forehead. 

“Come say hey to Smoke…let the girls know you going to bed before they try and mess with you.” 

You sat for a couple minutes, asking Kaia and Vada about 1st grade, cooing happily to a babbling Laila, and getting the run down from Smoke about going back to school after winter break before you called it quits. Stretching once out of your chair, listening to the girls whine as you told them you didn't feel good and was going to sleep. 

“Titi please! Stay up a little longer! You been going to bed early all week!” Vada’s voice was loud and grating. Not whiny like Kaia who jumped in just as loud to command you.

“Yeah Titi! Plus, Uncle Stack been saying you don’t wanna play with us in the basement cause you don’t like us no more!” 

You felt even more uncomfortable then. Momentarily frozen at the mention of the grown nigga who lived in your sisters basement. Even more so when your brain flashed to the last time you had been down there. Long after the girls had scattered up those carpeted steps for bedtime. Face down and drooling in his mattress. Dick so deep in your belly he had to pull you back by the crook of your elbows to keep you from running from his thrusts, mattress squeaking damn near til the sun came up. 

Fuck. 

You recovered quickly, your tone teasing as you pacified the girls easily.

“First of all, why ya’ll listening to some man who live in ya’ll Mama’s basement?”

The girls erupted in giggles, Smoke’s eyes glinting and Annie lovingly scolding  you loudly as she shooed you out the dining room. You took your exit swiftly, immediately holding your stomach and frowning  as you slipped through the house to the guest room. Pace quickening when the sound of the garage door churning mechanically spooked you. Sending even more ripples through your stomach as you realized who was home. 

-

You popped up from looking in the fridge. Dissatisfied as you groaned softly into the air. They need to take their asses to the grocery store. You rub your eyes at the thought. Aware of how spoiled you sounded even to yourself. You sigh out again, racking your brain for what you can do as your stomach pinches meanly.

You could probably get some Dual Strength Advil out the bathroom and thug it out. You just didn’t want to chance having to  throw up with nothing in your stomach. Head tipped back you breathe, head empty as you stand in the cool kitchen. Suddenly, your face twists up as you realize you know exactly who would have some ginger ale. Your mind’s eye flashing to the fridge in the basement stocked with carbonated drinks of damn near every kind. 

Nah. You’d thug it out.

You turn swiftly, thoughts on the medicine cabinet, but nearly scream as a dark shadow blots the doorway. Hand going straight to your chest you jump out of your skin, skittering back quickly as your nerves recover from your fright. Your hands meet the counter as you lean back. Squinting at the figure in the doorway. A low breath escaping when you realize who’s there. 

“Dammit Stack what the hell.” Your voice is quiet but shrill. Irritated that he was creeping through the house like a damn ghost. Trying to scare you on purpose no doubt. 

His eyes shine as they catch the light, and you see his smirk when he steps further into the low glow. It's not the only thing you notice when he steps closer. Your eyes floating down to his bare chest and solid abdomen. V disappearing into the soft fabric of his black sweatpa–

His hand lifts and you follow it. He gently shakes his wrist, and you see it then. The green metallic can on Vernors glinting teasingly in the air. You frown, and he licks his pillowy lips before speaking.

“Annie said you wasn’t feeling well—that you went to bed. I figured you’d be up again.” 

You stare at him blankly. Not saying a word as you breathe slow. His eyes watch you back, and you can’t help but feel exposed in your pajamas when he eyes you up and down. Stopping at your chest briefly on the way back up to your eyes. Crossing your arms over your chest you stand straight, mouth moving before your brain can catch up and stop you from running your mouth. 

“I don’t need you figuring anything about me. So you can take that can and head back down them steps. “ It’s weak, but your tone is cool, and you praise whoever that you didn’t stutter over your words. 

Stack releases his arm back to his side and doesn’t say a word. Brown eyes still twinkling as he smiles wider, golds winking mischievously back at you.  His free hand rubs the back of his head as he lets out a low chuckle, inching closer to you as he speaks again. Amusement apparent. 

“Damn girl. Why you gotta act like that. I can’t be a nice, big, brother in law.” He says it around a fat ass grin. Dimples deep and on display. You’re even more uncomfortable with his words. Each step he takes closer and closer to invading your space. You glance over his shoulder as you get ready to move. Inching away from the counter as he tries to corner you. 

“Don’t be weird.” You murmur before making your attempt. Skittering around him like a mouse dodging a foot. 

“Aht–Aht!” He’s quick and big. Arm stretching out as he blocks you lightly. Herding you back to the counter as he presses up on you. Skin soft on yours, smelling like soap and cocoa butter as his hands reach for your waist. Holding firm as he pops you up on the smooth, cold, counter. 

He sets the can down next to you with a soft ‘clank’, hands on either side of you as he leans away. His hips pulled back away from you, nowhere in between yours. His face is close though. Pretty lashes fluttering as he stares into your face. His breath smells slightly of beer as his nose bumps yours. Sucking his teeth when he decides to speak low.  

“You got that sick on your breath…poor baby.” His words are soft. Fluttering in your ears while you calm your breathing. Nervous…stomach flipping at his proximity. Not one to be out down, you clap back softly.

“I guess you better back up then nigga.”

His eyes squint in amusement and he grunts. Looking down at your bare feet swinging freely in the air. Your toes wiggling slightly. Adorned with the same color from the last time he had you this close. He looks up at you again, standing up straight as his large hand taps the side of your thigh gently. Pointing to the can as he speaks to you again. His voice a hum accompanying the refrigerator’s.  

“Just drink it–and pop some Advil out the cabinet.” He stares at you then, as if waiting for something as he stares. You nod affirmatively and don’t speak. Waiting for him to back up as he reaches a hand to your cheek. Nudging it gently with the knuckle of his pointer finger. You sit there for a beat, and you get the urge to speak then, voice light as you watch him.

“Sta–”

“This don’t have to be ‘nothin.” He cuts you off. His index finger gesturing between the two of you. Mouth left agape you fix to speak again but he hushes you. 

“We can just have fun, or we can go back to how it was. We at two different points in life…and Smoke would pop a cap in my ass if he knew I was fucking on his wife’s little sister, in his basement.”

That gets you to smirk, looking up at him as you shut your mouth and nod. Eyes big and glossy. You don’t confirm or deny his proposition. His smirk low as he backed up. Hand scratching at his beard as he turns to leave. 

“You know where I stay at.” Then, he’s gone. Disappearing around the dark corner. 

You release your tension with a heavy breath, staring into the dim glow of the kitchen as you’re left on your own. Thoughts swirling with his words and your own uncertainty. 

“Hmm.” You hum to yourself, dropping down from the cabinet and snatching up the drink. Rinsing its metallic lid under a stream of water before cracking it open with a short acrylic. The fizz is familiar over your lips and on your tongue. The cool drink hitting your empty stomach as you cross that threshold out the kitchen. 

I’m taking my ass straight back to that room and to sleep. You think.

The sunrise peeking through the kitchen window.

The soles of two pairs of feet were heavy as you both stepped loudly through the house. The wooden floors almost bouncing as you chased your sister through the kitchen and the dining room. Her voice shaking. Irritation clear as day. 

“Nah Sissy you been knew! You not about to turn this around on me. You been knew and you come home telling me you, ‘Got something to do.’ you outta your damn mind!” 

Your head is spinning as she yells. Purse, house keys, and baby monitor jangling as you follow her into the garage. The basement door taunting as you race past it. Bare feet barely making it into your slides as her shiny boots click effortlessly across the concrete and through the open garage door.

“Nie wait! I forgot I had something to do! Ple–”, she cuts you off sharply.

“No! No, no, no! You knew we was leaving today! I can’t believe you! Out all night just to come home with some B.S.? Not even in time for us to figure something out? That’s how I know this some mess because ain’t no way the sister I know would be on some shit like this!” 

You both stop before Smoke’s truck, the thrum of the vehicle light as she stares you down, eyes big and focused. You knew you were wrong for this. But if you had known what would happen way back when you had agreed to watch the kids, well… it never would’ve happened. Now you were about to be on your sister’s shit list, because sure as hell was hot she wasn’t losing this fight. 

You knew it. But you had to try for your own sanity. 

Just so you could say you hadn’t just given in. Rolled over and showed your behind. But the way this was going, yelling through your sister’s house, nervous sweat dripping down your chest in this heavy sweatshirt…Lord, you was doing just that in more ways than one. 

Eyes closed tight, you blurted before you could stop yourself. 

“Why can’t that nigga in the basement watch’em Nie?! He’s the grown one here…”. You opened your eyes and watched her stare you down. Her teeth visible as her mouth opened slightly. The look on her face was one you hadn’t quite seen before. Your knees starting to ache from the chill when she took a minute to respond. Her chin high and her fists resting heavy on her waist through her pretty blue coat. 

Your stomach was flipping. Anxiety forcing your whole body to a steep, metaphorical, ledge as the low hum of the refrigerator and his voice pressed fresh in your mind. Heavy hands on your waist, warm like the residual heat of an open fire, melding through the thin layers of your pajamas. His proposition low in your ears. Sticking to the inside of your skull like honey sticking between your fingers. A mess you thought you avoided when you carefully opened the bottle. 

You were afraid his proposition wasn’t really a proposition at all, but a premonition. A statement that was never a question. Not a matter of if, but when. You were afraid and you were making your sister mad, but the thought of Stack coming home, the girls being in bed, and you being there too…with him? It was telling you something about yourself you weren’t ready to face. That what happened in that basement wasn’t just a one off you could credit to impulsivity or lack of care. It was need. Need for a man that you knew was never going to need you like you may end up needing him. 

Finally your sister looked down, only to look back up quickly. A low burn in her eyes as she stood up tall, gaze hard as she looked you in the eyes. Ones that matched her own.   

“This may be news to you cher…but you grown too. And if you ain’t noticed, Stack got a job and for the most part he got a life. You the one that didn’t want to go back to Momma and Granny. And you sure as hell ain’t wanna traipse yo’ ass over to Daddy’s for no help. Now me and Elijah have been more than accommodating. I love you…but whatever you got going on up here–”, her manicured finger pointed staunchly to her forehead,  “ –it better be in check by the time we get back. We got enough attitudes to deal with.” 

As if on cue, the white baby monitor in her hand crackled to life. Laila’s cries piercing and sad. Swallowing hard, you wetly  blinked at her as you backed down. She didn’t need you and the baby screaming for her attention. 

Nie’s sigh was heavy as she looked down, her head shaking slightly as all you could do was watch her. The urge to cry was heavy, your nose burning,  but crying would just tell her something was eating at you, and if you could help it you were not opening that can of worms with her in the middle of her driveway. Her baby screaming through the monitor. Their weekend away skating farther and farther from her grasp with each argument and cry. You was really making this hard.

“I’ll go get her–”

“Nah. I’ll go get her. Tell Smoke I’ll be right back.” 

With the switch of her skirt your big sister was off to comfort her baby. The crack of the door from inside the open garage loud as you pulled anxiously at the fabric of your sweatshirt. Slides scraping the concrete as the hum of the car compelled you. Feet heavy as you walked towards the driver’s side window. 

Smoke’s stare was damn near icy as you looked through the rolled down window, and with his jaw tight and brows heavy…you knew he had heard everything. Your whining, your attitude, your disrespect. He looked right through you, and while you knew he loved you like a big brother should, disrespecting his wife, whether you were her baby sister or not, was not something he would tolerate. Especially not under his roof. 

Sucking his teeth he scratched lightly at his chin, one hand tapping gently on the center console out of view as he began. 

“I’m not gon’ say what I wanna say, cause your sister damn sure shut you up–”, Well damn. His gaze heavy as you avoided his stare.

“ –but me and my wife work hard, so our kids can live soft. Not waited on, not spoiled…but soft. I extend that same care to you because you part of the same heart that make that woman whole. But imma tell you this…even that ‘nigga in the basement’ only got one chance to disrespect me or my wife. This is the first and last time I’m having this conversation with you.” 

Looking up from your chipped toes, you began to speak.

“Smo-”

“And one more thing–”, he raised one thick finger in the air. His deep eyes meeting yours as he gave you a funny look. Sighing deep and sucking his teeth again.

“Don’t nothing go on in my house that I don’t know about…so I need whatever went down…to be resolved by the time we get back.”

Stomach dropping to your ass, you knew your eyes were as big as saucers as you looked at him. Mouth moving before your brain could even catch up to what he had said. 

“Wha–” 

Before you even had time to respond, the door in the garage opened, you and Smoke looking back as Annie came down the driveway. Baby wrapped up in a blanket in one arm and purse in the other. Her eyebrows still knit tight together and pursed lips shining demurely with gloss. 

Walking up to the driver’s side, you wordlessly stepped back as Smoke and Annie cooed lovingly at their youngest. Smoke leaning through the window to kiss all over her face, Annie pecking one of her round cheeks as her giggles trickled through the tense air. 

Turning to you then, Annie sighed as she handed the baby to you. The little one’s weight anchoring you to the driveway as her tiny fingers reached for your face, pinching your bottom lip lightly as you stared slack jawed at your older sister. 

“I love both of you. I know you know, but the twins get out of school at 4:15. If there’s an emergency you know what to do. ‘Course Stack in the house, but we trusting you.”

Still flustered and avoiding her husband's stare, you murmured a soft love you too, before watching her run her fingers through the baby’s curls one more time. You listen as her feet scuff against the concrete, walking around the car as Smoke begins to roll up his window. His stare and past words heavy as you pointedly look down at Laila, her fascination with your lips keeping you and her distracted as you listen to your sister get in the car. 

-

“And stop running in the house Vada!” 

Reaching into the backseat you unbuckled Laila. Her big eyes wide and framed with pretty lashes as she watched you yell over your shoulder at her sister. Kaia watching through the window from the other side of your small car. None too eager to follow her twin into the house.

“I don’t know why she running through the house like that. Like you not gon’ tell Mama and Daddy.” She deadpans out. Backpack dangling from her fingers as she watches you slam the car door. Following as you walk to the door into the house, kicking off your shoes at the threshold and stepping into the heat. 

“Well Kai…I might not for real. Unless ya’ll tear something up, I got other stuff to worry about. Lock the door for me.” 

“ –and you know she gon’ do just that…”

Listening absentmindedly as she locks the door, you make your way towards the livingroom. Baby heavy in your arms as you pass Vada, coat and backpack thrown wherever. T.V. already blasting as you enter the hallway to the guestroom; the room you had been calling your own for the past couple weeks.

The door already open you slide in, sitting the baby up on the bed as you unzip her coat. Small hands and feet already trying to stand herself up on the bed as you toss your keys on the bedside table and grab the remote. Fingers running over rubbery buttons, you turn on the T.V., plopping up next to the baby, your arms immediately go over your head. Temples pounding as you take in the reality of your situation. Body taut with tension. 

Breath in.

Breath out.

You groan. Removing your arms as you open your eyes. Staring at the back of Laila’s curly head of hair as she looked up at the screen. Bright colors occupying her little brain as you zoned out. Thoughts wild and scattered. 

Taking care of the girls was light work, you had done so since the twins were baby babies. But taking care of the girls while trying to wrap your head around how to act around that man? Your sister’s brother-in-law? The man that had put you through the mattress? That was an entirely different beast. Required a different part of your brain even. Because why the fuck had you even let him touch you? And apparently Smoke knew!?! You felt fucked in more ways than one. Even more embarrassed at what had gone down. 

It was still confusing. You had never looked at Stack that way, and according to your knowledge, he sure as hell wasn’t interested in you. But what did you know about Stack? About Elias Moore? Mind’s eye flashing to those deep eyes and shiny golds, you wracked your brain for answers. You hadn’t even been around him much until a few years prior. Taking up residence in your sister’s basement when whatever he had going on went south. Any talk about him from your sister full of sarcastic remarks and deadpan looks until whatever beef they had fizzled out, and  he was just the live-in uncle. 

Turning onto your stomach and scooting closer to the baby you wrap your arms around her, putting your nose to her small shoulder. Breathing in the baby lotion and cocoa butter as she fidgets and squakes at the ticklish air. Her attention being caught again by whatever was on the screen. 

What did you know? 

He came home late and left early. You knew that. You knew that because he had woken you up that early morning after he had you. Calloused hand running up the smooth skin of your back under your oversized t-shirt. He had tapped your ass lightly. Whispered in your ear, voice like rolling steam. 

“You don’t want them seeing you come up from down here.” 

His front pressed lightly to your back as he followed you like a ghost to the steps. Bare feet creeping up carpeted stairs and pajama pants thrown haphazardly over your shoulder. Not even thirty minutes later you heard the rumble of his truck, the crank of the garage, and the low purr of his engine as he left.  And it had been that way the entire time you’d been staying at your sister’s. His life a mystery but his routine as sure as that man knew himself. 

Startled from the clacking of beads and barrets, you look up into the doorway as two heads pop up from around its edge. Vada’s voice loud and sure. 

“Titi what we eating for dinner?!”

-

Descending from the last step, the downstairs is dark as you pass through the hallway into the living room. The flashing fluorescents of the t.v. screen stark in the dim room. Curtains pulled over even darker windows and pillows formally strewn from couch cushions snatched from the hardwood, you begin to reset the room. Backpacks and clothing zipped up and relocated. Cups tossed into the sink and paper plates pushed into the kitchen trash. The house is void of noise except for the low hum of the t.v., its volume low and indiscernible. A calming background thrum to your mindless work. 

Cutting off first the light in the kitchen and then the dining room, you float through the house. The living room still dim as you feel over soft cushions for the remote, thumb running over rubbery buttons as the room's only light source dissipates. 

12:02 a.m.

Flashing green in the dark, you can’t help but see the clock in the living room as you toss the remote mindlessly. Floor creaking as you pass through the hallway to the guest room. 

Room bathed in the low golden dim from the small lamp sat tastefully on the night stand, the creamy color of the comforter invites you into its expanse. Its softness a cushion for the turmoil of the day. Unnecessary fights and childish antics burrowing. Settling deep into the spot between your eyebrows.

You need to get ready for bed.

Fishing the baby monitor out of the front of your sweatshirt you let out another groan. Setting it up on the nightstand, you leave the bed. Gathering your night time caddy and heading to the downstairs bathroom to clean up.

-

Left the lamp on. 

Peaking through low lashes, you blink up at the golden glow of the lamp. Disoriented, you stare blankly. Mind still in the throes of sleep as you wake up from your snooze. The arm you were laying on shifting as you laid in the quiet of the bedroom. Of the house. 

Toes wiggling and blanket ruffling as you breathed through your nose. You eye the baby monitor. Its screen a clear view into the crib of your sleeping niece. Her chest rising and falling gently. Unbothered. Eyes settling on your phone next to your head, moments away from toppling off the edge, your arm slides out from the warm cocoon of your comforter. Finger tapping the dark screen, you watch it light up as the time flashes across your sleepy gaze. 

3:18 a.m. 

Why were you up?

KNOCK. KNOCK. 

Head snapping quickly over to the door, you're spooked momentarily by what greets you. Head in the pillows, you stare into his eyes, a deep black from where you lay. Their chocolate brown hidden by your distance as you watched each other. Seeing him now, you’re unsurprised by his presence. You expected him at some point over this weekend. His body broad in the doorway. Hands heavy in his pockets. Dark work pants almost disappearing into the black of the hallway that framed him. 

A spectre in this house. A dream even. A fantasy made up to satisfy the warmth that made itself known late into the night. When the slip of cool fingers between heated thighs or the twisting of hips against lumpy pillows could no longer be stood alone. 

Heart a repeated fist against the inside of your ribcage, your lips part. The warmth of your tongue a salve to the dry skin as you wet them quickly. His eyes follow the movement, and when you don’t speak, his posture changes. No longer a lean against the doorway, his stature apparent as he stands to his full height. Shoulders back. Hands still pushed deep into his pockets, he moves. A shift felt deep in your stomach as he passes the threshold. The veil of your sanctuary, a reprieve from the festering phantom that was your shared encounter, broken in the blink of an eye. 

He stops at the end of the bed.

Thick hands pulled from his pockets, he sighs and leans over. Palms meeting the creamy sheets as he bends at the waist. His left hand sliding over its expanse. Slithering its way across the pretty printed patterns as he searches. Scratching along its surface until he finds your foot through the blanket. Warmth encompassing your appendage as your stare down continues. It probably hasn’t even been five minutes since you’d opened your eyes. But with Stack staring down at you. Touching you through the only thing concealing you from him. 

It felt like it'd been an eternity. 

The silence stretches on, heartbeat in your ears until it's not. Chest calming as you shuffle up onto shaky elbows. 

“You ain’t got nothing to say?”

The question comes quiet but bold. His murmur passing through thick lips and under fluttering lashes. Fingers firm as they move along your ankle and back down. Almost tickling you as he begins to massage your foot. Eyes unyielding under thick brows. Releasing breath from your lips, you finally look away. Eyes meeting his chest, the heat of his stare no longer making your heart race, but intimidating all the same.

“You the one upstairs, Stack.” 

You don’t expect your voice when you speak. It's a soft flutter, a cloud passing through warm wind. Shifting further under the comforter, you begin to pull your foot from his grasp, your breath catching immediately as his grip tightens. The muscles of his forearm shifting under his pushed up sleeve with the firm and surprising tug of his arm. His speed unexpected and your elbows shifting down along soft sheets. 

“You the one that’s been runnin’ though.” 

He was right. But he was still the one here in front of you. His aura rolling off of him like raindrops down a drenched window pane. Finding his way to you in this dark house the same way bare toes found purchase up carpeted steps after the glamour and heat had broken. His touch burned away by the safety of the rising sun. 

“I-I don’t know what you want me to say for real. I—”

You rack your brain for something. A comeback. A retort. But there’s nothing. Your thoughts quiet save for the childish and petty part of you scrambling for higher ground. Really, not even after all that rehearsin’ in the shower? 

The silence beats on, until with the clearing of your throat as you speak. Sleep still heavy in your voice.

“ –it should’a never even happened…and you tell me in the kitchen, we can have fun or go back to how it was. Well…I ain’t been back in the basement…”

“Mmm…”

So why are you up here? Is what you really want to say, but the words are caught in your throat. Your eyes finding the chain around his neck. Nerves once again preventing you from looking him in the eye. His hand still wrapped around your ankle, he squeezes gently and finally releases you. Your eyes immediately bulge out of your skull however when both immediately find the bottom hem of his deep grey thermal. Retching the fabric over his head, you’re left speechless as he throws it to the ground. His white beater flush and stark against his chest and abdomen. 

Finding his eyes, your lips part as you sit up on your hands. The blanket falling from your chest and revealing the thin, baby pink camisole you slid on without a second thought. 

“Wh–,”

“So tell me you don’t want it then. Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll take my ass down there right now. Dick between my fucking legs.” 

He reaches for his beater, the ribbed fabric rolling over his torso and over his head as it’s balled up and thrown right at your head. His musk and cologne more tempting than you’d like to admit as you retch it from your face. The fabric tumbling from the side of the bed. The jingling of his belt is all you hear as the blankets are pushed away hurriedly, your brain scrambling to catch up to the moment as you sit up quickly on your knees. The grey sweats covering your lower half slipping with your quick movements. Hands outstretched you wave them as Stack reaches for his zipper. The eye contact intense as he watches you blubber. 

“Hold on now! Stop tryna strong arm me into this shit!” 

“I’m not! Tell me to stop. Tell me you don’t want me…and I’ll go.” 

His hurried movements still. His breath heavy along with yours as you’re left with nothing to say. The shift in his voice a neon sign for what he was feeling. Not just for what he wanted from you. Tell me you don’t want me. 

Were you wrong for thinking there was something he wasn’t saying? 

Sitting back on your haunches, you could tell your face was twisted up. Your confusion diverging in every which way as the air thrummed with the sparks between you. This was too much. He was too much. Nothing was making sense and the frustration bled into your words as you blurted. Overstimulated and aghast at whatever the fuck was going on right now. 

“Stack…I can’t say that! But—but I can’t let you push up on me either when who knows what the fuck else you got going on! I—this is too much, too close to EVERYTHING, when you just finna fuck off and hunch on some new bitch tomorrow E.! We live in the same house and your brother know we fucked and—” 

“Hey! Hold on—,” 

“No! Elias! Listen! This—”, your arms like lead you gesture between the both of you.

“ —it can’t happen! You don’t even want me for real!” 

The room is quiet as you come down. The glimmer of his eyes in the dim light of the lamp a reminder of his attention on you. You deflate a little as he stands there. Shirtless. Your brain can’t help but mention. His face is hard, his mind fumbling like yours no doubt as his jaw tenses. Lips twisting until he finds his words. His tone softer than it had been. 

“You think I would’ve ever touched you…if it was in my mind to fuck whoever? Of all people…Annie’s sister. LITTLE sister at that, and you thought I was finna fuck around?” 

His question is incredulous. Littered in disbelief at the thought. 

“I could fuck any bitch. I could’ve fucked you and ignored the fuck out of you after. But here I am. We right here—,” his fingers point between your eyes and his.

“ —and I’m begging you to tell me you don’t want me so I can get the hell on. I’ll gladly take Smoke’s bullet in my ass if I’m coming on too strong. But tell me you don’t want me first.”

“ …no.”

 “Then lay the fuck down.”

Before your head even hits the pillow his hands are back at his button and zipper. Movements quick as thick fabric is pushed quickly down his legs. A single hand reaching to palm the growing print through his briefs. You shimmy out of your sweats, hands sliding smoothly under warm fabric. Before you can roll them off your ankles, his hand is there. Fisting the bottoms and yanking them from your feet. Thrown down into the heap of his clothing below. 

Knees meeting the bed, he’s on you quickly. Body crowding yours as you scramble for your top. Reaching to pull your camisole over your head, you’re surprised by the large hand smacking yours away. He smirks then, humor floating with each word exhaled from his chest. His grillz winking at you from the inside of his mouth. 

“You and these damn itty-bitty tops. Make a nigga wanna snatch you up everytime I see you in one.” 

He grabs it at the top hem, retching it down under your titties and immediately dives in. Thick lips meeting your left nipple in a wet kiss. A surprised breath leaving your lips as a sharp nip follows. A large hand smacking the other. Massaging its same weight with the tender roll of his fingers.

“Ow! Stop bein’ so rough!” 

He laughs around your tit in his mouth. Eyes meeting yours across your chest. 

 “Girl, you ain’t seen rough. You probably not gon’ see rough for a minute the way I be wanting to fuck you slow.” 

His words make your stomach flutter, their message sweet but obscenely cloying. Arousal pooling warm and slow when his warm pecks float across your sternum in apology. Their journey over your chest, and up your neck thrilling. The rolling in your belly a testament to his care as your nerves alight. Hands meeting his shoulders, you feel the softness of his skin, nails scratching down warmth and power. His arms barely holding his weight over you as he pushes you down into the mattress. Finding your chin, he leaves a wet peck. Their warmth creeping along your jaw until he finally finds your lips. His kiss like a rolling wave over stagnant shores. Overpowering your own in an experienced fervor. A thrall to his heat and your own arousal as you can’t help but squirm. Pulling away you look him in the eye. Your teeth biting your plump bottom lip, the words tumble from your mouth before you can stop them. 

“Touch me…I want your fingers.” 

Breathing in the same air, his eyes flit over your face. Their glint mirthful as his lips meet yours once more in a playful mush. Bright teeth winking at you as he responds in a light murmur. 

“The way you was droolin’ and cryin’ last time, you really thought I wasn’t finna fuck you on my hand—,” his lips find yours again, their heat quickly becoming a burning distraction as he speaks again. 

“ —maybe have you squirmin’ on my tongue?”

His warmth leaves you as he sits up, hands finding your knees and pulling them open. Their warm heat sliding down smooth thighs to your exposed center. His thumbs tickle the skin of your lips as he works up a small massage. Hands splayed over your pelvis and hips, he watches himself work. Lip caught beneath shiny teeth. 

“You so goddamn pretty.” 

The way he says it, like he means it. Is almost too much under the heat of his gaze. The warmth of his hands. The way his thumb plays in the wetness he made. It’s sticky pull almost embarrassing, a testament to his charm. 

He’s intoxicating.

You watch as he spits. It’s wetness hitting your clit before his thumb is there again. Working it into your folds and opening. The image of your fluids mixing a tantalizing feeling and thought. Your moan flitting through the air as your head rolls back. Eyes closing under his touch. Your body a broken faucet as your wetness seeps from your center. His fingers playing in your sticky cunt. 

“Oooh…E…please.” 

Middle and fore fingers finding your hole he tests its resistance, their girth sliding easily into your wetness. His shallow pumps an agonizing tease as you open your eyes to watch him through your parted thighs. Each breath a sigh as he works you open. His hand speeding up with the frequency of your vocalizations. The squelch of his fingers loud and almost obnoxious. Moans embarrassingly pornographic as you twist and twitch at his work. His other hand working hard to keep your legs from closing. 

Between his fight with your legs his dick stands tall through his briefs. The dark grey stained black in a single spot, his arousal giving away his need under his focused gaze and punishing fingers. Mind heavy under his care, your hand reaches for his bulge. Fingers finding the heat of him as your fingers roll over its rigid length. The hum in his throat heard even over the sound of your sopping heat. His voice comes unexpected in the moment. A stark song in a moment filled with moans and wet heat. 

“When I get in this pussy…you better look me in my eye.” His fingers slow to a slippery pump, your whine ringing out before he shoots you a look. Your thigh in his hand receiving a mean pinch as he finds your eyes. 

“When I get in this pussy you gon know who fuckin’ it…watch me pump my nut in this hole. Feel everything you was running from. You understand?”

Your fingers still as soon as his fingers do. Both of your breaths are heavy as you stare each other down. His eyebrow raising when you don’t answer. Your wet tongue wetting your lips, you watch him follow your tongue, exhaling before you speak. 

“I understand.”

“Good, now put them legs up.”

The command in his voice does something to you. Curt and expectant. No room for playing as you pull your legs up to your chest, his fingers stark still in your pussy until your legs are up. Arms wrapping underneath your knees. His fingers pulled from your heat in a slow drag. Wetness wiped on your ass cheek as you feel and hear him move. The removal of his briefs apparent when he scooches closer and leans over you. His dick heavy and firm against your lower half as his thick arms cage you in. His weight is a comforting blanket against the chill in the air. One of his thick fingers reaching briefly to nudge your chin gently.

You’re taken back to the kitchen under the gentle touch. 

Staring into his eyes, you whimper under the feel of his fat tip nudging against you. Playing in the wetness he milked from you, hips moving in an irritating grind against your twitching heat. His teasing disrespectful when you were so desperate for his touch. Before you could complain however, his tip was back at your entrance. Pushing against your opening all too quick, he’s pushing in. Dick drawing back and pushing in a couple more times until he’s grinding into his hilt. The yell you let out all too involuntary as he bullies his way into you. His fat lips beneath his teeth as he watches you struggle to look at him. 

Lashes fluttering, hands reaching to grip his shoulders, you lay under him and take each heavy push of his hips. Your body a molten glaze as your pussy welcomes him eagerly. Each twitch of your walls beaten and smoothed out by the weight of his burrowing member. Nerves alight under his attention. Your chest thrumming in an unfamiliar ache as you stare into his eyes. Each one of your actions together, the stolen glances,  the basement, the kitchen, him here in your bed fucking the shit out of you…it was too much. It felt too good. 

Eyes closing and head tipping back, you can’t help but cry into the air as you feel everything he’s giving you. Your mind slipping until his voice is loud in your ears as he scolds you. 

“Nuh uh, open you fucking eyes!” 

He leans on you in a nasty press that makes you whine, your back arching as he lets up and leans back. His rough hands meeting the back of your knees as he pushes them up to your ears. The stretch an added sensation to the ache between your legs as his hips start up again. Each thrust a mean jab against a spot inside of you that has you seeing stars and leaking heat. His demand an after thought as the pleasure takes you deeper into the syrupy gloop of your mind. His voice now an irritated bark between thrusts. 

“Look at me when I’m fuckin’ you! Ain’t no backshots this time! I want you to watch me own this pussy!” 

What he was asking was just as mean as his thrusts. Unfair. 

Letting out a sniffling sob into the sticky air, knees bouncing next to your ears, you barely knew where you were. Could hardly stop squirming under the weight of his hips, unrelenting. Pussy lips drooling with each plap, plap, plap, of his dick between your puffy walls, and he wanted you to look at him? 

“Ss–c-can’t…oh my Goooood—,”

Each punch of his cock is exhilarating. Your eyes rolling as he never lets up, his grip on the back of your knees an incessant reminder of his power over you. The pleasure he’s giving you a gift felt over and over with each pull of his flesh against your own. Each slide of your bare back against the sheets a cradle against his assault. 

Through heavy breath, his tone is harsh as he pushes deep. Hips stilling in a mean press that arches your back from the bed fully as his timbre rumbles from his lips.

“I ain’t ask if you could…I said look at me.” 

Oh fuck. You’re cumming. Each nerve in your body is alight with small bursts of electricity as you let out a groan. Thighs trembling in rough hands as your hands find your chest. The smooth skin rippling under your grip as you clench and cum on his cock. The wetness of your release an after thought as each pulse tumbles from your body. Knees desperately working to close, but Stack’s grip keeps them open as he watches your pussy gush underneath him. His chest and abdomen reflecting the golden light of the lamp as he perspires. 

Your bonnet is probably half way across the room with how much your head is twisting into the pillows and sheets beneath you. Head tilting to the side, your lashes flutter. Vision blurry as you open your eyes against the fatigue already setting in. Eyes cutting to the man on top of you. Chest heaving, your eyes watch his face. Dark brows knit together. His thick bottom lip caught between white teeth, and smoldering eyes glittering over your bottom half. Your pussy still split over his stiff cock. Walls clenching along its weight in the aftermath of your release. He looks up then. Brown meeting brown as he releases his lip. 

His hands leave your thighs, and you whimper as he shifts. Heavy thighs falling around his hips as he bends. Forearms meeting the bed on either side of your head as soft lips find your own. His wet mouth a salve to your own. A distraction more so when you suddenly feel the shift of his hips against you. The push and grind of his hips a reminder of this give and take. His knees pulling up into a kneel against the mattress as you feel the pull of his dick from your heat. A shiver rolling up your spine as he forces himself to the hilt again…and again. His rhythm picking up speed as rough hands find your cheeks. 

“Now…watch me fuck my pussy.” 

Looking into his eyes is like peering into the richness of the earth. Their brown beaconing you. Their pull a spell unknown to you in the heat of this room and the afterglow of your pleasure. The tingle of your hole as she twitches for rest. The hug of your thighs against his slick torso. Your hands a mirror of his own as they find the skin of his jaw. Each pump into your center an overstimulating pulse of pleasure and heat. A stinging euphoria that thrums through each of your limbs. Your insides reaching a boiling point. The hot air from between your lips not unlike the screech of a heated kettle. 

“St-Elias…pleeeaaase.” 

The murmur of his name from your shaky lips makes him groan, eyes closing, sticky forehead finding its way into your neck as his breaths puff from open lips. Hips pushing again and again, his rhythm steady. Your own groan crooning through the air as your fingers find the nape of his neck. Nails scratching gently as each push of his hips renders you breathless. The head of his cock prodding every point of interest. Nerves alight under the overstimulating push of his sticky, stuttering hips.

“Fuck!”

His voice is strained. The quiver of his body is an intoxicating tell as each pump of his hips turns heavy, shoulders taut with tension and arms curling around your body as he pushes one more time and grinds slow. The first spurt of his release hot and electric. His groan vibrating through your body as he pumps each spurt of his release into your slick cunt. Chest to chest, belly to belly in the soft sheets of your bed. 

You both breathe heavily, you into the air above your bodies, and him into the sticky skin of your chest as you both remain silent. The seep of his release as he shifts from inside you eliciting a soft purr from your lips. Eyes heavy with fatigue and body loose from his attention. You might as well be asleep by the time he moves off of you. His lips a wet mush against your cheek as he lifts himself over you, falling to the bed as his front pushes against your back. His facial hair tickling your skin, arm resting under your head and hand finding your stomach.

No words spoken between you under the golden glow of the lamp.

🤷🏾‍♀️: congrats to Mike on his win, and for giving me this fine shit to work with 🤞🏾 there may be an epilogue but I'm unsure fr, enjoy!

-

“You know I love you right?”, his voice was a murmur. His thick lips barely moved as he crooned to you under the warm light of the bedside lamp. The pink of his tongue poked out as he licked them. Priming them for his kiss.

“I–do. That doesn’t mean I’m not nervous though.” 

“Mmm.” His long lashes blinked at you and he leaned closer, his forehead touching yours. His eyes were intense. A swirling of brown and deep black barely illuminated under the dim light. His thumb still moving on that one thigh. 

“I know, and I’m sorry. But I’ma make you feel good–and I’ma take care of you.” You believed him. His care was the reason you were splayed out for him now. Hole soft and achy for him. Nipples wet and drying from his kisses; but it was still weird. To be so exposed to somebody. Especially somebody as fine as Elias Moore. It was still so hard to believe he had chosen you over a woman as pretty and sharp as Mary. Before you could even hold a man's attention you had almost convinced yourself you were pining for her. But here you were, laid up under her ex man. Life was a trip. You let out the breath you realized you were holding.

“Okay–I love you too.” E. grunted affirmatively deep in his throat, and before you knew it his lips were on yours. You barely had time to close your eyes. His nose bumpig yours. His kiss wet. The cushion of both lips smothering your top lip in a heavy peck. 

He moved closer and sat up, the hand not on your leg moving from the mattress to your waist. Pulling you higher up into his lap. 

Grabbing his dick, he pumped slowly. The thick tip looked bruised under the dim lighting. Pearly beads adorning its head like a crown. He groaned low in his throat again, and you couldn’t help but squirm. You could feel your pussy fluttering, weeping for release as your need swirled achingly in between your lower lips. The fingers of one hand rubbing nervously at your temple, the other on his knee tracing over the grooves; surely tickling him gently. 

“Yeah–you know I’ma fuck you good right? You not gon ever have another dick in this belly. Pretty girl.” 

You watched as he lowered his tip, softly mushing your folds as they splayed around his dick. Watching as his crown of pearls was wiped from the head. Blending with your wetness. You couldn’t help but groan. You could probably cum just from the feeling of his tip playing in your wetness alone. 

He moved his hips slowly, his dick scraping through the mess of you and wetting the length of his member. You couldn’t stand it. And neither could he with his grip biting into your thigh, and the moans pushing heavy past his lips. 

He kept gliding though. Back and forth. Never breaching your hole and as he humped against you. Your squirming was getting worse, wiggling as the man you loved touched you so intimately. Soft skin kissing and mushing in a mess that proved he loved you too. God he was—

SMACK

The tap was sharp against your thigh as you whined out an ow. The pout immediately heavy on your bottom lip as low lashes fluttered up and over his face.

“Girl, quit moving ‘fore I bust.” You halfheartedly dug your nail into his knee then, not to hurt him, but to get him back for popping you. 

“Then stop playing E., please…I’m ready now.” 

His grinding slowed to a stop, his breath even heavier than before. The hand on your knee finally let go as it grazed your side, slipping down your waist to your hip. His thumb tickling the short curls along your pelvis as he stared down at your eyes then your center.

He stayed quiet as he tapped your swollen clit…once…twice, before dragging his tip further until he found your weeping hole. Testing its resistance as he pushed gently, then harder.

Reaching a hand to his wrist, you held on and reached up to cup your chest with the other. Your soft skin grounding as he pushed forward. The burn was instant as you hummed. A red hot burn as he opened you up to him. A short ow as he pushed through a tight, stinging barrier. A deep gurgle refusing to escape your throat as he groaned and sank deeper.

“Eli–Oh my God!” 

“I know, baby. Fuck, you tight.” 

Letting go of the base of his dick he reached up to your hand, pulling it away from your chest as he found your nipple with his mouth. Entwining your fingers with his own. Gluing you to the mattress. He didn’t move as he sucked on your tit. His tongue persistent in its effort to taste you. Thick lips distracting you from the fact he hadn’t dropped any of his weight down into his hips, or that he wasn’t even half way there yet. 

Letting go of your nipple and kissing up your chest, he gently rocked into you. Slow movements getting you used to the dick plugging you up. The burn wasn’t burning so much now as it was a deep and heavy stretch. Warmth enveloping you as his chain twinkled over your face in the low glow. Letting go of his wrist you reached up and around to his back. Fingertips light as you rubbed over his warm skin. You could feel him tense under your touch and he kissed your cheek as he spoke low in your ear. 

“You gotta let me know when to move baby. I’m trynna be a gentleman and not tear you up…but I need you to communicate too.” 

Your breath is hot as you breathe out, nodding your head before you speak into the skin of his shoulder.

“Okay E., you can move.” 

He tenses further and you could tell by the shift in the air he was about to play with you. He looks up into your face, eyes glinting as he smiles. His grillz winking at you. 

“Nah. Tell me to fuck you.” 

You tense up then too. Breathing heavy under his stare and the weight of his dick pressing up into you. His lips twitch as he feels you tense. His eyes look sharp as he stares at you. Dead serious. 

“C’mon girl, let's go. I’m not ‘gon tell you again.”

Wetting your lips with your tongue, you watch him as his eyes follow the movement, just to peer back into your own. Swallowing heavy you speak.

“Elias, fuck me please.” 

He smiles full on then. Eyes shining as his hips draw back. 

“Bet.”