#joo rambles

it has been Quite A While since i last posted anything, whether on tumblr or ao3, but worry not! i am not dead yet, and i have no plans on being dead. i've been stuck for a while on writing, but i'll get to that in a bit.

for some reason, now that it's the end of the year, i took a moment to sit down and really just think about things, and i've come to one conclusion.

god, 2024 really sucked for me.

now, i know mindless rants and thought dumps like this aren't why you follow me or anything, but honestly, this is a writing blog, so i'm going to write. if you don't like that, boohoo (jk feel free to stop reading and go send that ask about when im going to update (fic) haha)

a lot of my friends like to say i give main character vibes, and that's not me boasting. genuinely i wonder what it is they see in me that makes them think that. maybe it's the way i tell stories about what happened to me, or how i can manage to keep up a conversation and seem like an extrovert, or just genuinely the way i live my life.

for context, i'm a freelancer doing events and theater, which means i have really, really strange work hours, and even stranger income. i suppose, to someone else, my life seems cool, leaving for work at 11 pm, going to different cities for shows, getting to meet celebrities in the industry and whatnot. and yeah, if i didn't work in this industry, i'd think that's pretty cool too.

but i do work in this industry. and god does it suck so bad. i try a lot to find the reasons why i keep doing my job, and it happens a lot like this:

i do a gig with a lot of hiccups, problems in management, toxic people, underperformance, and i consider quitting. then, something really great happens at the end, and i gaslight myself into ignoring my imposter syndrome and i keep working, waiting for another job.

so it's a lot like someone only giving me food when i'm desperately starving, just enough to keep me going for one day.

do i enjoy it? hell no. is it worth it? somehow, for some reason, at the end of it all, yes.

but the one thing i really don't like about it all is how it's affected my personal relationships. i take all responsibility for the way i act and the way i behave, but i'd be a liar if i said my workplace didn't influence me the way it did.

this year has been so full of ups and downs with my parents, my siblings, my girlfriend, my friends. i feel like, somehow, in gaining independence for myself financially, i somehow realized in the first place what i was so dependent on in my relationships. which sucks.

and to make it full circle, another thing i really don't like about it is how it's taken me away from my favorite hobby, which is writing.

i have missed out on writing for so long that it physically pains me sometimes that i'm away from my laptop and clicky keyboard, unable to pour my heart out onto some weird ass twice fic that barely anyone's gonna read. it might seem shallow to someone else, hell, probably to most people, but damn if writing isn't the one thing i come back to each and every year.

which, i think, brings me to my next point, which is i think i have to apologize for not being so active. i've made a lot of promises that i haven't been able to keep with my fics, and i have so many drafts that haven't seen the light of day. and i don't think it's just you people who read my fics that i have to apologize to, but also myself. i think i took writing too seriously and ended up having it weigh down on me more than it should have.

the whole point of this damn thing is to have fun, and to make sure other people have fun, and i don't think i've been having a lot of fun recently, honestly.

so, yeah. an apology. to you guys. and to myself. i think. im a fuckin weirdo.

but yeah, that's it for this rant. if you made it to the end, congrats! i'll be posting a s'agapo update soon, and i'm also working on the next out of bounds. after that, god knows what i'm updating. i'm gonna stop lying to myself and saying that i have an update plan when in reality i just write whatever's on my mind.

dayeon - six??? doesnt feel like six (altho i dont rly count a rose by any other name nor ogygian delights bc i havent written much for them lmao) conclusion: i need to write more bc dayeon dynamic is so HHHHHH my god

dajeong - ONE???? ok two counting ogygian delights BUT I HAVENT WRITTEN THEIR CHAPTER TOGETHER YET, SO ONE?!?!?!!!!??? my god,,,i just remembered i have this dajeong serial killer au and this has motivated me to actually finish it bc DAJEONG

dahmo - four ! ok i love dahmo n so does everyone else so im happy with this number lmao, i still have a dahmo oneshot on the backburner that ive written like .01 percent of HAHA oh well

saida - NINE WTF i swear how did i write so much for sana im not even that much of a saida stan HAHA i know its popular but i didnt think i wrote so much abt it. not that i have anything against saida they r so lovely <3

dahyo - TWO. TWO FICS ONLY. my god. i am a nuisance, a troublemaker, a rabblerouser, a hooligan. to ignore one of the BEST ships ever i swear dahyo guys. guys. GUYS. you have to listen to me. i am now putting s'agapo at the top of my priority list bc DAHYO MY FRIENDS DAHYO

mihyun - eight (or seven idk im bad at counting) mihyun has and always will be one of my favorite ships bc of the spirit of 1998 universe holy CRAP guys u need to read that if u havent, bc that fuckin fic sets the STANDARD for mihyun dynamics ugh i love it so much i love mihyun this is not the last u'll see of mihyun

dubchaeng - ONE but ok i have an explanation for this,,,i do love the dubchaeng best friend dynamic but lowkey its the only one i see? and for some reason, i have a rly hard time writing best friends to lovers (bc i broke up with the best friend i dated skl) but YES i will try to do this more bc i am reading a dubchaeng fic that is TOP TIER

datzu - two,,,two fics of datzu,,,im such a shit writer my god, but in my defense one of those two is jamais vu and jamais vu is a masterpiece. untouchable. which reminds me i rly need to get on that sequel,,,

and they own a whole ass bar/café? it's so wonderfully quaint and cozy and somehow it's giving both noisy and active cafe vibes as well as quiet chill bar vibes,,,its so nice

and they lent me the controls for all the lights in the cafe??? so i can just change the colors and brightness of any of the lights inside at any given time?????

long story short: i've been financially cut off by my parents ! very fun, very fun. jobs are scarce and i am struggling to live HAHA i love adult life

so yeah, can't really promise any updates soon, but i'm trying my best !

hope you guys are having a wonderful day

Also, I love apartment au. Thank you for that Misamo fill!

u asked for this anon get ready for a dump (also i know u asked for parenting au details but i just wanted an excuse to ramble hehe)

also take note, these are just the aus that are in progress, not the idle ones that are still in my head and require more fleshing out

if u see one u like, feel free to ask for more details ! who knows, it might give me more inspiration to write it ! i am taking requests, but only if it's from this list below ! i dont mind writing short drabbles on some of these that further flesh out the details and story ! also probably that pressures me to write the full thing so HAHA

so ! what the girls study:

tzuyu's a moon druid under the nature department. if you don't know what a druid is, they're basically spellcasters that tap their magic from the primal forces of nature, and as a moon druid, tzuyu mainly uses her magic to transform into beasts to fight against those that harm nature. yes she's very sweet she can turn into a hamster but she can also turn into a giant constrictor snake

chaeyoung studies evocation magic as a draconic bloodline sorcerer. yes, many fancy words. evocation magic is basically using magic to manipulate pure energy in the environment, i.e. blow shit up. as a sorcerer, her magic stems from a particular phenomena, in this case her bloodline, and manifests itself in her proclivity for pyromancy (setting shit on fire)

dahyun studies under the divination department, which is basically spells all about knowing things, past, present, and future. she's a knowledge cleric, which means her magic stems from her belief and faith in a particular god. i'd say she mostly uses a crystal ball or tarot cards to cast her spells and see things, and her magic basically gives her photographic memory or smtin idk HAHA

mina is a warlock ! this means she's struck a deal or a bargain with an otherworldly deity or creature in exchange for fabulous power. in this case, she's made a deal with a dark power (that i'll probably reveal later on) in exchange for having spells that can alter space and time. as such, she's part of the dunamancy department (credit to wildemount for coining that name) and studies chronurgy, or the manipulation of time. did i mention she's an elf? yeah she's an elf, elf mina fits perfectly imo

sana is another sorcerer, this time a runechild sorcerer (credit again to matt mercer and the new tal dorei book !) she studies under the gnomish runes department. basically she's got all these runes on her skin which she uses to make wards that can protect her and people all around her ! neato !!!

jihyo's a bit of a nerd in the department of lore. as a wizard, her magic stems from practice and study, so yeah, nerd alert. she basically has a sentient spellbook that she uses to jot down notes and spells and stuff like that (order of scribes !) she's also the dorm manager ! bc dorm manager jihyo is always my headcanon

momo's in the elven rituals department, and that's because she's a half-elf studying bladesinging (damn high ac wizards) bladesinging is basically an art form that's supposedly unique to elves. it manifests through something called the elfsong, and elves can use it to sort of "dance" with a sword. very cool ! and very momo too !!

jeongyeon's a cleric like dahyun, except instead of knowledge, her domain is death. yep, jeongyeon studies in the necromancy department. except instead of being more of a zombie type necromancer, she's more of a "i will kill you" necromancer and most of he r magic is harmful and more about killing people. did i mention she has a scythe? yeah she had a scythe

nayeon is a half-fairy bard ! bards are unique in that they draw their magic from performance and song, which fits nayeon to a tee ! she studies glamour in the department of enchantment, and basically has a silver-tongue ! also bc she's a half fairy she's super popular and basically everyone likes her

for my magic school au, how it basically works is that from 1st year to 3rd year, students are taught general magic, then in their 4th year, they pick a specialization and join a department. in their 4th year onwards, they begin to work on their thesis, but unlike normal college, they can take however many years they need to finish. most students finish at years 5-7, but students are free to continue studying and producing more these (if they have the money for it). theses usually consist of personal studies like a portfolio of created spells, a paper on specific or created runes, theories on undiscovered branches of magic, etc.

so now, the good stuff! the girls are in their 5th to 7th year, with smc line at 5th, middle line at 6th, and unnie line at 7th. each of them belong to different departments and study their own thing, but they all know each other because they all stay at the same dorm. in addition to that, they're also part of a student organization/club that assists with student and faculty requests that can range from petty things like cleaning classrooms to actual serious stuff like monster hunting.

i'll be elaborating on what they study in another post, but for now just know that they're all pretty good at what they do. most of this stuff actually has basis in dnd 5e, so if you play dnd, you'll probably see a lot of familiar stuff ! if you don't play, that's fine, this stuff will probably (hopefully) still read well.

the main ships are: DaYeon/NaTzu, MoChaeng, and JeongMiSa, we'll get to why jihyo's alone later

and WOW u have so many ideas i am both in awe and terrified of and for you :)

oh i completely forgot to explain those aus silly me, i shall do so now prepare for another ramble

1. coming of age smc au - chaeyoung and tzuyu have been best friends at this catholic boarding school for as long as anyone can remember, and basically there's all this repressed romantic tension around them bc yknow, homophobia and all that. then dahyun transfers into the school and basically forces them to reconsider everything theyve known (yes its very gay and coming of age)

2. break up saidayeon au - dahyun comes back from this thing abroad and finds out her two best friends, sana and nayeon (who she both has a crush on) have broken up. she attempts to matchmake them and set them up together again (this one's more of a romcom with sprinkles of angst thrown in)

3. road trip mimohyun au - dahyun basically goes missing, and the only two people she's left a note for are mina and momo, her two best friends from high school. problem is, they had a big fallong out with each other and no longer speak to one another as friends. they go on a road trip together to find out what's happened to her, and hopefully make amends along the way (this one's like,,,a lot of hurt and comfort)

4. parenting dajeonghyo au - dahyun gets kicked out of her house and disowned for being pregnant, jeongyeon and jihyo, her two friends who are dating, take her in (this one's supposed to be rly cute and fluffy but also very hurt and comfort)

5. terminal illness saidahmo au - dahyun gets terminally ill and goes back home to sana and momo to try and live out the rest of her days with the women she loves the most (yeah i dont think i need to elaborate on this one)

6. online dating dahmichaeng au - dahyun, mina, and chaeyoung have been dating for a while now in a long distance relationship, but they finally find the time and ths money to meet each other for the first time (this one's just,,,cute n fluffy nuff said)