jongeorgie doodel

Discussions of their dynamic always feel so Jon-centric. And like, yes, he is the protagonist, but it’s just… weird. I went on my rambling before about how she’s written off by the fandom as like. A segway to jmart and a plot device for Jon’s character but come on. She’s got her own thing going

It’s also the fact that any discussion I see of how their uni relationship ended 99% of the time blames Jon for how it fell apart. Did we forget that Georgie, at the time of meeting Jon, was only just getting most of her emotions back after like, a year of being numbed-out by the End? That she was probably grappling with fits of different bursts of emotion completely unrelated to Jon? Jon is a chronic under-communicator, and that likely wasn’t helped by the fact that a lot of her behavior at the time was probably unexplainable and impulsive as she relearned feeling

And this isn’t me pointing and going ‘it was all her fault boohoo’ because it wasn’t. But it also wasn’t all on Jon in the way a lot of people seem to frame it.

I could see their relationship being literally founded on a lack of clear communication. Georgie getting a rush of energy and dragging him out on some night of activities, Jon not knowing whether the intention is romantic or platonic when she’s holding his hand and laughing but not speaking up to clarify, and too many of those nights blurring together until neither of them truly knows when their first ‘official’ date was, only that at some point along the way cuddling on the couch and nitpicking the special effects in old horror movies became normal

It was never meant to be a serious commitment on either of their ends, and Jon didn’t realize he’d entered what she considered a proper relationship until suddenly she’s adopted a cat that’s supposedly theirs and is saying he should move in. And, well, he likes Georgie, has talked about wanting to own a cat, and was looking for a place for the next semester anyway, so yeah, might as well. That’s what people in relationships do, and they’re two people in a relationship. It doesn’t phase either of them too much when he spends most nights in what was supposedly their guest room.

Their relationship is casual. Easy love. She’s often the one initiating, and he’s happy to reciprocate. But from both of their ends, it lacks proper communication.

Georgie will find herself sobbing at random stupid things, or getting angry over trivial mistakes. Because she’s still not used to feeling so strongly. And it gets taken out on Jon, who, instead of trying to clarify what’s really wrong, assumes he must have done something if she’s this worked up, and shuts himself away until she calms down, because that’s the only way he’s really learned to deal with his issues. Which only makes her feel worse, because she didn’t really mean to get snippy with him, and then leads to frustration when she tries to clarify that later and he dodges around the subject

He never comes to her with problems. She wants him to, and struggles to understand why he won’t despite her repeated offers of help and reminders she won’t judge whatever’s going on. Because at this point, fear is lost to her, and despite knowing it has to be nervousness holding him back, and trying to be sympathetic to that, his constant unease is just a reminder of the part of herself she’ll never have again

She wants to be able to take his fear and soothe it. Help him work towards overcoming it. But when he won’t even take the first step in addressing it, it’s useless

I don’t think their breakup was anything dramatic. Jon wouldn’t want a confrontation, and potentially even just said a quick goodbye when the lease was up and ghosted her, thinking it a less painful end

For a while, she just sends him periodic cat photos, and he’d like them. But when he doesn’t return the effort of staying in contact, she eventually stops.

And when he shows up on her doorstep years later, a disheveled mess, for potentially the first time directly asking for her help, a favor, just a night, he swears- she isn’t about to turn him away

Of course, when he starts shutting off again, she knows fighting him on it won’t get her anywhere, so she stops

And when Melanie starts going through a similar strife, but where Jon shut away, she is actively pushing herself to open up, that’s where Georgie finds her genuine connection. In someone who she doesn’t have to push so hard with to talk to her, in someone who wants to let her help, even if she isn’t sure how

In the end, it’s why Georgie knows that despite all of Jon’s claims he’ll follow what they planned, she knows she has to have his lighter in hand as insurance. Because he’s always dealt with his conflicts internally, even with the people he cares for most. And Martin might have managed to get through more walls than her, but Jon is still Jon

She wishes she could be surprised when they find no evidence of either of them in the aftermath. Wishes she didn’t have to doubt him. But in the end, she knows him, and she was right

Do you ever think part of the reason Georgie stayed by Jon’s bedside through all 6 months of his coma but then abruptly walked out of his life when he woke up is because she was fully expecting to be a caregiver for him during a long, grueling post-coma recovery process?

Do you think part of the reason she was so spooked by him waking up (relatively) unscathed is because she had mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared herself to take him in? That her best case scenario — what she had planned and hoped for — was that he’d wake up with severe cognitive and/or physical deficits, as one would expect from someone who survived an explosion and six months in a coma? That he’d have to re-learn how to walk or talk or eat or hold a spoon on his own? That he would *need* someone, and even if it wasn’t what she wanted for herself or him, she had decided she would step up and be that person for him?

It can be so jarring when you build up a vision of your near future around one assumption, only for that assumption to be completely shattered by reality. Do you think she constructed a future for him in her head, and when he woke up “fine”, she was so startled by the breaking of her expectations that it felt almost like a betrayal? And the sheer uncanny impossibility of him waking up “fine” made her think that her friend was dead after all?

Do you think that after Martin stopped coming around and Georgie found herself alone at Jon’s bedside, she realized she was all he had left in the world? The only one who held onto hope that he would survive in some form? The only one who thought he could wake up, severely disabled by his experiences but free at last? The only one who thought he deserved the chance at a mundane life after all of this, even if that life would look radically different? Do you think she grappled with the reality that if she didn’t step up for him, no one would? Do you think she spent long hours coping with the fact that she was going to have to take on new responsibilities and make new sacrifices for him, but she was willing to do it for an old friend who deserved better than the hand he was dealt? Do you think she mourned her old vision of her future, before she reconstructed that vision around caring for him?

Do you think she started talking to Jon’s doctors about what she could expect if she brought him home after he woke up? What kinds of disabilities he would live with, and what the prognosis was? About his quality of life afterwards? His road to recovery? Do you think she made up her spare bedroom with a severely disabled person in mind, and then started looking into hiring a part time caregiver to come help her make sure Jon got the help (she assumed) he’d need? Do you think she did all kinds of research into brain injuries and their aftermath? Physical therapy for people with severe atrophy? NG tubes for re-feeding severely starved people? Occupational therapists?

Do you think part of the reason she was so upset when he woke up (relatively) unscathed, lucid and talking and breathing on his own, maybe a little physically weak but still much like his old self, is because she had realistic expectations of what his life would look like after his injuries? And seeing him suddenly defy all odds by waking up into a full cognitive and physical recovery — a completely unrealistic hope that she never even considered as part of the realm of possibility — only reinforced the idea that the old Jon was dead, and this new Jon wasn’t safe for her to be around?

Do you think it hurt when she realized she couldn’t bring him home?