The sequels to Home Alone will seem like evolutionary breakthroughs compared to Home Sweet Home Alone. It captures none of what made the film an instant favorite for kids. With embarrassing attempts at self-deprecating humor will have adults groaning and a lack of laughs, no one could call this a holiday classic… though it did lead me to a slight “eureka” moment.

In the process of selling the home they can no longer afford, Jeff and Pam McKenzie (Rob Delaney and Ellie Kemper) suddenly discover they own a grotesque doll worth hundreds of thousands. Unfortunately, it’s gone missing. Believing that Max Mercer (Archie Yates) has stolen it, the parents decide to break into his home to get it back. After all, the Mercer family have all left for a Christmas vacation in Tokyo. There’s no way they’d make the mistake of leaving a 12-year-old home alone…

Everyone remembers the slapstick comedy in 1990’s Home Alone. If you watch it again, you’ll see that the paint buckets on strings, the icy steps, and other makeshift anti-burglary devices only come at the end of the picture. What the film is about first and foremost is growing up. Kevin McCallister is a scared little eight-year-old who learns to overcome his fear of the furnace in the basement and become responsible enough to take care of a household all by himself. In the process, he learns the importance of family. Home Sweet Home Alone skips all of that.

The choice to swap the burglars for people who want what's theirs returned is an immediate misstep. While it makes this a much less scary/threatening scenario for the kiddies, it also makes the injuries suffered unfunny. A simple conversation would've resolved this whole thing. Also, the dimwitted adults seem unsuited to care for their kids…

Many modern-day adjustments make the scenario more relevant and/or plausible. All but one (which has to do with cellphones replacing landlines) are sure to make the picture feel dated immediately. The worst of it concerns every single web search being blocked. It doesn’t make any sense but if Max had the internet, this crazy setup would be over immediately. The talking home assistant gags fare better than the lame winks towards the audience, however. There’s a fun cameo by a Home Alone cast member but director Dan Mazer’s choice to tell us how annoying it is to have beloved classics remade will only prompt you to yell “follow your advice!” at the screen. It’s a shocker to see a name associated with Borat, its sequel, and the Ali G character fumble comedy this badly.

I grew up with Home Alone and was shocked when I saw its 66% "Fresh" rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Seeing Home Sweet Home Alone as an adult with no nostalgia towards the new release, I had an epiphany. I now understand how an adult in 1990 could’ve sat down with the John Hughes-written picture and gone “What am I looking at?” Could this mean that this sequel made decades later become a family favorite years down the line? Not a chance. No one would ever recommend this film over the original or even its sequel any time of year. (December 20, 2021)