#johndorian

It’s been over four years since Almost Human was canceled after one season. In looking it up today to remind my generally science fiction-hating sister who also loved it (as did my entire family—which usually only happens with sitcoms) that it’s gone, I found an article about “terrible shows” that Fox canceled. I admit, outwardly it does just seem like a buddy cop drama with a twist, but even if that was all it offered, have we as an audience actually tired of the trope?

This time, we got human cops who must be paired with android partners. How is that not a fun twist on the buddy cop genre?

Anyway, here are just a few reasons in no particular order why I’m still bitter (some of them are for the Great Shipping™, just so you’re forewarned):

Karl Urban and Michael Ealy were fantastic together! Amazing chemistry!

Subverted the human and robot dynamics (super soft android who is great with kids and wants to talk about issues while the human is closed off and wants to pretend feelings don’t exist)

The specific android that Dorian (Ealy) plays is a type that has been replaced in the police department and because they’re “too emotional” so now most cops have these boring nobody unfeeling androids instead

Cute silly moments like them singing Elton John’s “Bennie and the Jets” together

Emmy-nominated special effects (You read that correctly: Amazing top-notch special effects on a non-premium science fiction television show. It was a fucking gift.)

Fox aired the episodes out of order so it was confusing to watch when it aired and therefore harder for the audience to follow (just like they did for Firefly, etc.)

The ethical dilemmas of the future (including sex bots, genetically-engineered children, etc.)

Strong female police captain who is not all hard edges but actually sweet and considerate as well

Good cast in general

Rudy! Played by the guy from Pirates of the Caribbean who has the fake eye/some dude in Game of Thrones. He’s a techie who loves the androids and is cute with Dorian and gives us nice comic relief. (I love him, even if he is a little bit pervy.)

An actual quote from a scene in “Are You Receiving?” (what a title):

KENNEX (Human, Karl Urban): Hold this. And this.

DORIAN (Android, Michael Ealy): What am I doing here?

KENNEX: You're heating my coffee. Hey! I like it hot.

DORIAN: It's best between 155 and 175 degrees, most people prefer it at 175. You like it at 165, and that's what it is.

KENNEX: You know how I like my coffee?

DORIAN: Yes, I, unlike you, pay attention to details, like what time it is and what time you're supposed to pick up your partner for shift.

KENNEX: Oh, I pay attention to details, like you just put your finger in my coffee.

DORIAN: If you'd like, I could put it somewhere else.

(!!! A fucking fingering joke? Are you kidding me? I could die.)

Things Dorian the android is confirmed to have:

A “synthetic soul” (ROBOT WITH A SOUL)

A dick (ROBOT WITH CONFIRMED GENITALS) (The replacement cop robots do not have dicks, just FYI.)

There was just generally a lot of cool future stuff and the plot was good and the characters and their relationships develop nicely (if you watch in the correct order) and it left off with a cliffhanger about Dorian’s creator and what was on the other side of the wall and now we’ll never know and I’m angry

Also, it had a lot of inspiration from Blade Runner but it was modern-futuristic with way more POC

Oh yeah, the human cop lost his leg and has PTSD and has an electronic android leg that he has trouble dealing with

Dorian tells him to lube himself up with olive oil to help. And then later comments when he knows John did (*Martha Stewart voice* It’s a good thing)

It was just fucking cool

All in all, it was fantastic and, to be honest, we probably didn’t deserve it since I remember literally seeing people comment at the time that it was too unbelievable for Dorian to have trouble being accepted because he’s a robot when the bigger issue is that he’s black. Like, yikes. Humans are terrible.

Anyway, if you want to legally experience this treasure, it’s available for purchase on Amazon (DVD or digital), but the episodes are still out of order, so check here for the correction (through the production order numbers). Or just, like, illegally download it or stream it because it probably makes no difference at this point. :(

(I have some far-fetched hope that somehow this will get renewed by someone else still, but I know the likelihood is probably less than zero percent. So, like, just suffer with me.)