#john barth

Bitter Karella: [carrying bindle sack] siiigh Karella: ahem Karella: AHEM Poe: oh sorry what's going on? Poe: what's with the bindle sack? Karella: oh THIS bindle sack? this one right here? Karella: funny you should ask

Karella: last week was my birthday Karella: and none of you remembered! Karella: so I'm running away from home! Barker: bye Poe: CLIVE

Poe: did you Poe: did you tell anyone it was your birthday? Karella: no but Karella: but if you really cared you would know Poe: Barker: King: Lovecraft: Koontz: Poe: well happy birthday Karella: THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH

Karella: I don't want people to say happy birthday Karella: i want REAL attention! Poe: do you want to tell a story Karella: YES I WANT TO TELL A STORY Barker: oh my god what a little brat Poe: clive

Barker: here i'll handle this Poe: i really wish you wouldn't Barker: no i'm really good with kids Karella: [stamping foot] i'm not a kid!!! Barker: oh yeah? how old are you? Karella: i'm Karella: Karella: no wait let's just say i am a kid

Barker: good would this comically oversized lollipop make you feel better? Karella: NO Karella: Karella: yes Koontz: i would also like a comically oversized lollipop Barker: well of course, for you, dean, anything Barker: cuz you're always as good as gold

Karella: why didn't you say that to me Barker: cuz you're a fucking shit Karella: Karella: you better be nice to me Barker: yeah? why? Poe: clive

Poe: what would make you feel better on your birthday karella Karella: i would feel better if everyone went out and pre-ordered my upcoming book moonflow Karella: available for preorder in the pinned skeet Poe: King: Koontz: Lovecraft: Barker: Barker: best we can do is the comically oversized lollipop King: yeah that's the best we can do

Karella: ok fine! then Karella: then Karella: i want to do a bit with mary shelley Karella: she's always funny when she appears King: oh yea she's a hoot King: a real crowd pleaser

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers Shelley: whoa what the hell is going on here Shelley: why's everything all meta in here Bitter Karella: Shelley: oh it's because of you innit? Shelley: little postmodern shit Karella: hey! Shelley: that's a real fuckin "john barth" ass move

Karella: y-you take that back! Shelley: just like john barth Karella: it's not like john barth! Karella: i'm my own original idea, damnit! Shelley: [to poe] its just like fuckin john barth Poe: you know i was just thinking that Karella: SHUT UP

“Missionary eaten by a tiger,” by artist Noé León

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“The reader! You, dogged, uninsultable, print-oriented bastard, it's you I'm addressing, who else, from inside this monstrous fiction. You've read me this far, then? Even this far? For what discreditable motive? How is it you don't go to a movie, watch TV, stare at a wall, play tennis with a friend, make amorous advances to the person who comes to your mind when I speak of amorous advances? Can nothing surfeit, saturate you, turn you off? Where's your shame?”