Sometimes I think we read way too much into what they do, and other times it’s so obvious that we don’t even know what to do with it.
Jungkook was so obvious about moving over to Jimin’s side that Jimin actually looked surprised to see him right next to him. And then you’ve got Jungkook singing to Jimin, yes to Jimin, because he literally pointed at him and everything, during Joon’s line that goes “I just wanna go home to where you are, where the grass grows and the stars set”. I mean, how are we meant to interpret that in any way other than the most obvious one?
And to top that whole moment off, the way Jungkook was just staring at Jimin. Honestly, please. I’m not imagining things. At the end Jimin tells him he’s cold and they both laugh, but it genuinely could not be more obvious.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Summary: you are James’s lover after the countess, but you feel like James holds love for his ex wife still but he shows you otherwise
Warnings: smut, jealousy, heavy kissing, cunnilingus, body worshipping kinda?, crying Lmk if I missed anything
Word count: 1,7k
A/n: this was meant to be part of kinktober but obviously I didn’t get to finish that
•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•.
From the very beginning you had that slight doubt in the back of your mind, did he still love her?, I'm a just a replacement?, will he go running back to the countess?. All the thoughts ran through your mind, you loved James, worshipped him like a loving partner but you didn't think he loved you that way.
You knew all about the long history between james and the countess how he would chase after her, begging for her back like a dog. You never really knew what he saw in you to make you his, you didn't think you were anywhere close to as beautiful the countess is. You just didn't understand.
Now laying on the bed of James room on the floor that never allowed anyone it was still the same from the 1930s, waiting him coming back from a dinner with the countess. You hated that he still did those you never knew what he would do, he tells you it's purely for the hotel but it was understandable why you were sceptical of it. The fear eating at you but there was nothing you could do but just sit and wait.
Another hour later James entered the room, dressed smartly as per usual, a grin on his face. You felt uneasy as to why he was all cheery tonight. "Ah, dearest how was your night?" he chimed pouring himself a glass of his fine whisky. "It was okay, how was your night with the countess?" You said with jealously laced in your words.
"Do I detect some jealousy in your voice dear?" James asked sipping on his whisky not really minding the bitter taste. Shaking your head trying to dismiss your blunt tone. "Dear I know you don't like the fact I have monthly dinners with my ex wife but it's purely for the hotel" James reassured taking a step closer the crystal glass with brown liquid still in his hand, but you still held that glint of doubt in your eyes.
With a heavy sigh you nodded "okay if you say so", James felt a pang of hurt hearing your words. "It's true dear the countess is ancient history." James placed the glass on whisky down with a furrow brow, stepping closer to you till he seated himself beside you on the bed. His cold fingers brushing a strand of hair away from your face.
"But you my dear are present and future You mean more to me than the countess ever has, I truly mean that" James voice soft and velvety sending shivers down your spine.
"You sure?" You asked looking into his eyes, they held nothing but love and admiration and a hint of hurt for the woman in front of him. His hand cupped your cheeks with thumb grazing your the tear that rolled down your cheek removing the salty liquid. "Don't cry dear I'm positive you are the most important thing in my existence" James whispers even with tears stained cheeks and red puffy eyes you still looked beautiful to James, like a broken angel right now.
You smiled leaning into his touch more, your hand atop of his. "You really mean that?" You asked with a voice above whisper. "Of course in fact I'm going to show you that you're the most dearest thing to me" James says with a soft smirk tugging on his pencil moustache lips. The cold air from his body gently pushed you into the bed so you were on your back, James straddles you looking down at your glassy eyes that leaked the tears.
"You truly are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen" he whispers softly placing his ice cold lips over your tear stained cheeks kissing the salty tears away.
Your felt your heart swell with that simple action. James kissed your lips you could taste the salty tear that once rolled down your cheek on his lips but you didn't mind.
James kissed your lips with passion that made your worries disappear in a flash. Your warm, soft hand cupped his cold cheek as your velvet soft lips returned the kiss. James had you pinned between him and mattress his lips still on yours, every emotion that he felt he put into the kiss. His cold hand on your hip pulling you closer to him.
James's lips trailed from your lips to your neck effortlessly finding that spot to make you melt like putty in his ghostly cruel hands. A small sigh left your lips as his hands traced the curve of your body stopping just below your breast.
"James please" you whimpered he had you where he wanted you.
"Don't worry dearest I'll take care of you, I'll show you just how much you mean to me" his pencil moustache curled up. His lips back on yours his tongue danced with yours a small moan left your lips as James hand was on your stomach sliding down lower to the waistband of your panties.
The heat that raised from you and the ice cold touch of his hand was enough to make your mind clouded with desire and lust. Goosebumps raised from your flush soft skin. His other hand gripped your hip not to tightly just enough to make you shiver from the touch. James lips traveled down to your neck and collarbone peppering your skin with light kisses.
A small whine left your lips, you wanted his lips to travel further down your body, as if james read your mind his cold lips traveled lower down your frame with his hand caressing the right side of your body. "You're so beautiful dear" his voice was low and husky you felt a rush of wetness in your panties.
All that was heard in the room was the sounds of James's lips loving your body and the heavy breaths from you as you were filled with lust and anticipation. "James" you whimper again desperate for more, the dim light on the bedside table was the only thing that lit the room. You could smell the cigarettes and whisky on James.
James lips trailed down to your breast taking your hardened bud into his mouth swirling his tongue around sucking in it, his free hand massaging your other breast. Your mind clouded with lust and anticipation.
"James please" a soft whine left your lips once again making James smirk against your plump breast.
His kisses moved down to your stomach to the hem of your panties. his deep brown eyes looking up at you as if to ask for consent, you nod your head feeling the flimsy fabric being slowly dragging off the soft skin of your legs and on to the floor. Your knees were bent up on the bed and spread slightly, James then kissed up your legs softly biting on your plush thighs giving them attention. His cold hands would squeeze the outside of your thighs making you squirm beneath him.
"Your perfect y/n" he whispered taking in the sight before him. You couldn't help but blush at his words, your body was filled with anticipation as his lips traveled to your bare heat placing a kiss on your clit that made you let out a soft sigh of pleasure.
James tongue ran between your slick folds collecting your arousal then curling at your clit, a soft moan left your lips the coldness of his tongue pressed on your warm heat adding to the pleasure.
"You taste so sweet dear" he hummed against you. His tongue lapping along your folds giving you pleasure, your hands tugging on his pristine hair making it look disheveled. His tongue brought pleasure to your nub of nerves making you wriggle underneath him, your hips bucking up towards his skilful tongue.
James's hands held your hips down as he lapped at your eager heat. The room filled with your breathy moans and the sound of his mouth moving around you, the dim light was the only thing in the old fashioned luxury looking room that cancelled any darkness.
With your wriggling and squirming made your silk slip dress hike up to below your belly button exposing you more to James's hungry eyes. "Oh fuck James" you moaned as he inserted a finger into you feeling your velvety walls clench around him greedily.
His tongue never missing a beat focusing his attention to your swollen clit. As he thrusts his finger against her humming against your slick pussy earning sweet moans and praises from you. Your hands tug his hair your hips grind against his handsome face and finger before he added a second digit into your heat making you gasp.
His fingers pumped against your velvety walls feeling you clench around his cold fingers. Your body wriggling and squirming under him. You were under his spell his skilful tongue never missing a beat on your clit sending you into a lustful cloud. The room felt cold against your hot flustered skin whimpers and moans was all that came out your mouth along with praises.
James never missed a beat with this skilful tongue and fingers, your skin felt hot against the crisp white sheets, your head spinning with the pleasure you were receiving. You felt that familiar knot in the pit of your core forming. James knew you were close by the moans growing louder and your squirming his cold hand holding your warm body down by the hip his thumb caressing the soft flushed skin.
"I'm so close" you managed to let out, your breathing more heavy and short. “Just let go dear” James voice soft against your heat continuing his magic to send you over the edge. That feeling of blissful release drew closer and closer you were squirming but James held you down, your back arched off the mattress, thighs threatening to close around his head as the impact of your orgasm took over, your eyes rolled back your mouth slack open as a loud moan of euphoria was all that could be heard from miles away.
James pulled his fingers out but his mouth didn’t move away as he lapped at your sweet nectar till he was satisfied enough. Pulling away his moustache and chin glistening with your arousal, a cheeky grin on his pale face.
“You taste exquisite love” he hummed wiping the slickness from his mouth area.
You were panting from the intense orgasm, a soft smile on your lips. James climbed on top of you brushing your hair from your face looking into your eyes. “Believe me you’re the one I love, my angel”.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
"because you can't know someone until you know them"
And I think those words will haunt me.
I also made the mistake of not playing multiplayer video games that require co-operation with and against the general public with him until recently.
One AMAZING year where I thought all my dreams came true. One year of wonderful travel that I will cherish but also prevented me from getting the help I needed to not be sick for all of it.
And two years of the most crippling depression I have ever experienced combined with the death of my Nan, social isolation and a partner that couldn't support me through it because of their own issues and traumas...
I feel tricked into trusting you were the right fit. Your words and eventual actions (or inaction) didn't align where it often mattered most.
"yeah, for sure, Mauritius has great health care so if this mystery illness continues we will totally get it looked into"
"yes, I hear that you just wanted someone to hold you while you cried and you were nervous to ask that of me. And of course I can do that for you. Oh, right now? Oh, no, now I feel cornered into a situation I am not comfortable with and I don't like that you expect me to just drop everything I am doing because you need me".... That one. That last one was the nail in the coffin. We had barely spoken for two weeks...
Such a low bar.
Don't be a victim.
I should have listened to my gut rather than my values, my capacity to rationalise and be generous in my assumptions.
I should have been more unmovable in saying I didn't want to travel for three more months while still being randomly sick for unknown reasons.
I keep going to write "I should have xyz" but the reality is that there's zero chance that I could have even attempted it.
I should have tried harder to find a therapist that wasn't struggling with me.... But by the time I knew that, you had withdrawn your financial support...
I SHOULD have said "No, I will not move in with my parents. If this current situation is no good for you then YOU need to try harder to work out how to be okay with it. Or YOU move out.
...except, because you earn too much I wasn't eligible for government assistance which really allowed for the financial abuse.
As much as I say "don't be the victim"... I was.
I needed help. I couldn't do it alone. I NEEDED the people closest to me to say "woah hey, you're legit acting crazy, this isn't you! Let's get you some help, let's spend time working out WTAF is wrong with you and focus on fixing that FIRST.
What I should have done... I should have left you. I should have ended things when I first thought we were but was then told that I was actually just agreeing to moving out.
Every time my body screamed DANGER! RUN! I should have.
I will always love you. I will always be your cheerleader. But I will also find my way back to me - the girl that told you, you were being a bit of a dick head by cheating on his partner and not telling her. The girl that openly challenged the double standard and lack of empathy from you when you and your previous ex fell apart.
I should have listened to my gut on that day. But I had faith in your therapist.
I guess I fell for the person I thought you were becoming, that the red flags I was seeing were just because it was recent and raw. I would never have guessed you would still think and feel the same way a year later, let alone 4 years later.
So... I didn't get it wrong. I just wanted to believe I wasn't right... And that's a TERRIBLE thing to build a relationship on top of.
