#jl99

"if we're gonna date, you may have to deafeat my seven evil exes" or whatever the fuck ramona flowers said

Imagine you are teammates with Valentino in your rookie year, you're his direct title rival the next, he puts up a literal wall in the middle of your garage, you're forced to shake hands with your #1 rival-maybe-crush by the king of Spain, this only makes your rivalry worse, you have to sit through Vale's torment of Casey who you're socially awkward frienemies with, the tip of your finger is literally severed off, you get p2 in a race where both of your ankles were fractured to the point you couldn't even stand on the podium, your teammate finally goes to ducati hell but is somehow still torturing Casey, you fly to barcelona for collarbone surgery and race to p5 literally hours later, Valentino is your teammate again competing for his possible 10th championship, you have to sit right next to him when he goes on a conspiracy rant about the guy he's been eye-fucking the last two years and who you can't fucking stand, somehow now you and Dani have become the healthy yamaha-honda rivals, you move to ducati and realize maybe Vale's performance wasn't just because he's an old man, your teammate becomes your rival AGAIN but this time it's not for a title and you just hate each other for real, Dani retires and you take his seat at honda, you fracture two vertebrae which eventually become your reason for retirement, you announce this retirement during the literal last race of the year and honda has to scramble to fill your seat with Alex Marquez, you become a test rider so bad you don't even last a year, you reveal that ducati had offered you a seat for 2021 but declined and instead endorsed Pecco, you go on the Masked Singer and finish 4th, you invest in crypto which immediately starts tanking, you buy an apartment in dubai which gets bombed, you get scammed out a ferris wheel, you tease a boxing match with Dani that ends up just being an interview where you ask if he ever genuinely hated you, he says yes, you finally pick up a protege and it's 31-year-old Maverick Viñales, he is dead last in the standings, he might actually lose his seat next year.