Jiyan comforts you after arguing with parents
Nervousness or anger hurried you, but you walked briskly through the border camp right to the general’s position. For a moment, you stood still, not because of the curious gazes from the soldiers, but because of the voices: direct, sharp, and restless. The night was close, and the people around the general did not seem sleepy. You took a breath and then went in.
As you expected, Jiyan was surrounded by three people. You didn’t know them personally, but sometimes Jiyan mentioned them while sharing his worries about the next mission.
When everyone stared at you, your determination cracked.
“I’m outside,” you reported quickly and rushed out.
That was a stupid idea. Emotion clouded your mind. Because of your parents, your family, their worries, or just simple selfishness. But Jiyan was the one you could disturb so late.
“I use his kindness. He is always so busy. I can handle…”
Suddenly, your back was touched by thousands of needles. You knew it — danger. And you dashed, took three steps, drew your weapon.
Jiyan didn’t panic. He is a general, a soldier, also someone with PTSD, surrounded by people. So his gentle voice calmed you faster than you had ever thought it could. And with that, the worries came back…
“Let’s leave the camp, okay?”
If it meant you could stay with him a little longer… You two walked not very far, which was logical — TDS always came without warning. Still, Jiyan showed you a pretty well-known place. You could see the lights of the camp, and no one could see you. He sat you down, gently gave you a boost, and should catch you right in that moment. Your legs suddenly betrayed you, as did your chest. Something mixed between a sob and a roar escaped from your lips.
Jiyan noticed but didn’t say anything. Not until you were ready. That moment came very quickly. You were speaking as if the dam had burst. Time became countless. The body was not your own. You had put so much strength into going on your own way, and now you could not stop yourself.
“I’m just whining, don’t take it seriously. Just go, everyone needs you.”
“… And what about you?” Jiyan hugged your shoulder, occasionally wiping away your tears. “Are you not everyone? Or do you not need me?”
“It’s not… it’s just… here, don’t waste your time at least.”
You moved over and handed him the box that was still warm. Jiyan put it close, allowing only a sniff.
“Jinzhou Stew? I appreciate it, and I’m also worried. You don’t have to cook for me or bring me anything if you need me.”
“I don’t… it’s just my family, MY path, and if you want MY duty… they’re always like that.”
You sat in silence. You banned the tears and weakness as a hug, or rather, by the sentinel — Jiyan finally taught you it, with the right warm words.
“You don’t need to buy my attention,” he whispered and took a chance — he moved his arm closer to you, then moved even closer until you gave up and took a step toward him, just a little.
“You deserve not to be alone… you know, I’m good at fighting, so let me be with you.”
“I’m not your other battlefield. Everything I did was not for that.” “You will never become one. I’m afraid that when I catch up to you, there will already be a victory. Your loneliness on the way scares me a little, but it also shows how much I believe in you.”
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