#jinkisses

Still, I guess I was here for more than just a vacation. It was summer, and I’d just graduated from university. When everyone who attended my graduation party asked what I was going to do with my fancy new degree, I shrugged and gave some vague, non-committal answer. I had no job prospects lined up, not even an internship. I knew what I wanted to do with my degree, but no idea how to get there.

Sick of people asking me about it, I finally found something to do with my summer. I would go live with my grandparents and help them out. Truthfully, that was kind of a lie in itself. Sure, I’d help with whatever my grandpa and grandma needed, but mostly I was here to get some space and figure out what to do with the rest of my life. My impromptu trip got my parents off my back, at least.

I breathed in the warm, fresh air one last time before going inside to change. I loved it here. Back when I was in grade school, I used to come here for entire summers with my parents. Between the sun and the lake, I was constantly begging to come back here. I wondered when that changed… probably some time in high school, when I started getting busy with friends and parties. “I’m leaving now!” I called out to my grandma, scooping up the list she left for me on the coffee table.

“Thank you!”

I stepped outside and began the walk to the mini-mart down the road, relishing in the way my skin warmed in the sun once more. I hardly passed a single person, let alone a single car. That’s part of the charm here… no nosy neighbors or pesky so-called friends trying to get into your business and tell you what to do. Everything had a good distance between it, allowing for solitude and that small-town feel. I loved that it took a twenty minute walk to get to the busiest part of town, which was still nothing when compared to the crowded streets of the city.

A smile spread over my face as I passed a small park I remembered playing in as a kid.

“Tag, you’re it!” I shrieked before running away as fast as I could.

He growled and took off after me, causing me to squeal and run faster, giggling like mad. I ran up the steps of the jungle gym until I reached the very tippy, top. Oh no, he was coming! He grinned as he cornered me, but I had one escape left. I slid down the slide, still laughing as my bum hit the ground, got up, and started running. I didn’t make it far, though.

WAM! My feet tangled up and I ended up on the ground. “Ouch,” I gasped, looking at my hands. They had tiny cuts all over them, and my knee was scraped.

He reached me and pushed me hard in the shoulder. “TAG!” he screamed, but his smile faded when he saw me crying.

“Y/n, what happened?” he said, leaning down and examining my knee with large, brown eyes.

“I tripped,” I sniffled.

“Oh, don’t cry. I trip all the time. I even carry band-aides around just in case. See?”

I perked up a little when he pulled a bandage out of his pocket. He smiled at me as he peeled off the backing and stuck it on my knee. “It’s Spiderman,” I giggled.

He grinned at me. “He’s my favorite.”

The boy suddenly leaned down and placed a kiss on top of the bandage. “There. All better.”

He pulled me up and we continued our game of tag, shrieking and laughing even louder, if that was possible.

I blinked away the memory, realizing I’d stopped and was staring at the playground. God, I hadn’t thought about him in forever. How long’s it been? I wonder if he still lives around here… or even if he remembers me.

Our moms were best friends back in the day, and every time my family came here, we’d always spend the most time together. He was the only kid my age we knew around here, so he became my best friend. As we grew up, we went from sending each other hand-drawn pictures in the mail to full-on letters, then to emailing, then texting, then video calling.

One day, my laptop beeped, indicating I was getting a video chat, and I nearly declined it before seeing it was him. I quickly wiped my tears away with a tissue and blew my nose before answering the call. “Hey,” I said, giving the camera a watery smile.

“Hey! It’s been forever.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I keep meaning to call you but I’ve just been so busy.”

I sniffed, and he frowned, leaning closer to his screen. “Are you crying?”

“N-No,” I stuttered.

He gave me an amused smile. “Y/n, come on. You know you can’t lie to me.”

I choked out a laugh. “Alright, fine. Yes, I was crying, it’s stupid, just some guy being an ass as usual…”

I watched as he reached out a hand and leaned his camera even closer to his handsome face, concern etched all over his features, those brown eyes shining in what little light there was. “Please don’t cry, y/n. You know I can’t stand you crying.”

I nodded and laughed a bit more. “I know. I promise, it’s over with that guy. I won’t be wasting any more tears on him.”

He smiled at me. “Good.”

Lost in thought, I kept walking down the road, my tennis shoes scuffing along the pavement as I absentmindedly kicked stray rocks. I wonder if he ever thinks about me. Probably not. Last I heard, he too went to university somewhere in a far-off city. He was probably making a living for himself, his career prospects endless… probably dating someone too. Might even be married by now.

I huffed out a sigh as I reached the mini-mart. I stepped inside and grabbed a basket before pulling out my grandma’s list, muttering as I read it out loud to myself. “Y/n?”

That voice… it couldn’t be. No freaking way. I whirled around. “Jin?”

His face split into a wide grin. “It is you! What are you doing here?”

“J-Jin,” I stuttered, still not comprehending that the tall, handsome guy I was just reminiscing about was actually here.

He laughed. “Yeah, that’s me. It’s been what, six, seven years?”

“Something like that.” I could hardly breath. He looked only slightly older than what I remember. His hair was darker and pushed away from his face to reveal his forehead, but the rest of him was the same. The same easy smile. The same toned, wide shoulders. That melodic voice. Another memory suddenly forced its way into my mind, one that I’d been trying to push away since I got here.

The soft light of 6am caused my eyes to flutter open. A fresh, cool breeze danced across my bare skin, causing me to shiver and slide my arms back under the covers, cuddling close to the warm body next to me. I suddenly shot up. “Oh God, we’ve been out all night,” I groaned.

Jin sat up as well, chuckling. “It’s okay. Just tell your parents you were with me. They’ll understand.”

Oh hell. His voice was deep and husky from lack of use, and I felt myself melting into a puddle as he spoke.

Without warning, I leaned over and pressed my lips against his. He kissed me back eagerly for a few minutes before squeezing my waist, causing us to break apart as I gasped. “Listen,” he murmured, trailing his lips across my bare shoulder. “We should be getting back.”

“No, just a few more minutes,” I said, pulling him in again.

Jin indulged me for only a few seconds more, wrapping his soft lips around mine in a way that made my head spin. After an entire summer of flirting and driving each other crazy, we finally gave in and ended up kissing each other after Jin drove us out here to watch the stars. Before I knew it, we were in the back of his truck making love. He was my first. I always knew he would be. It was just a matter of getting us to cross the line between friends and lovers.

He pulled away from me. “Seriously, y/n, our parents are going to murder us as it is,” he laughed. “And… you’re leaving today. You’ve got to go pack.”

My heart dropped. I knew he was right. When would we see each other again? Jin began pulling his clothes back on, and I did the same. He grabbed his jacket and was just about to shrug it on when I tugged it away.

“Hey!” he protested, playfully grabbing for it back.

I buried my face in the jean fabric, inhaling deeply. It still smelled like him, musky with a hint of spicy cologne. “Can I keep this?” I asked suddenly. “It… It smells like you.”

Jin smiled. “Sure.”

“Y/n?”

I blinked, looked back up at Jin. “Yeah, sorry. I was just-”

“Lost down memory lane?” he said, the corners of his mouth turning upwards.

“Y-Yeah.”

I still had that jacket somewhere. I’d kept it wrapped in a plastic bag so, whenever I grew lonely or sad, I could pull it out and inhale his scent. I’d even fallen asleep a few times with my head buried in it, making myself feel better as memories of Jin wafted through my mind.

“I find myself doing that too,” Jin murmured, bringing me back to the present.

I never went back to my grandparents’ after that, finding myself too wrapped up in school, friends, and other boyfriends to bother. Or, at least, that’s what I told myself. Maybe the real reason I stayed away is because I didn’t want to find out Jin had been doing the same. Living his life… without me.

I tightened my grasp on my basket. “Um, I’ve got… I’ve got some shopping to do.”

“Oh, right. Well, I’ll leave you to it then.”

“Do you want to shop together?” I blurted out, noticing his mostly-empty basket.

Jin turned back around, his eyebrows raised in surprise. “Sure.”

We walked down the aisles in silence, picking out the groceries we needed as we went. “I can’t believe you’re here,” I finally said. “I thought you went to university.”

“I did,” he replied. “But I graduated recently, and I came back to see my family for a summer before heading back to Seoul.”

“Oh. Did you get a job?”

“Nope. I’m trying to become a doctor, so I need to go back to school for a few more years.”

“Nice,” I murmured.

“What about you? Why are you here?”

I sighed. “To visit my grandparents. Help them out.”

Jin stopped, grabbing something off a shelf, tossing me a knowing smile. “Come on, y/n, I know you. Why are you really here?”

I scoffed. “What do you mean? That is why I’m here.”

Jin stepped close, causing my breath to hitch in my throat. I caught a whiff of that oh-so-familiar scent and felt my legs turning to jelly as he leaned down so our eyes were level. “Are you sure?” he said, grinning.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not here for you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“That’s not what I was implying,” he said, chuckling. “But good to know.”

“Besides, you’ve probably got some girlfriend back in the city,” I muttered, turning away to grab something off a shelf.

“No, actually.”

“Really? The cocky, handsome Jin can’t sway them city girls?” I teased.

He shook his head. “Oh, that’s definitely not it. I could have any girl I wanted back there.”

Jin suddenly grabbed my basket away from me, causing me to whirl around. He stepped close, and I backed up until I could go no further, my shoulders pressed against the shelves. “The problem was me. I didn’t want any of them,” he murmured.

My lungs stopped working as his lips hovered dangerously close to mine, my eyes growing wide as our breaths intermingled. Jin drew back, laughing. “You should’ve seen your face,” he snorted.

“Fuck off,” I snapped, grabbing my basket back and striding down the aisle away from him.

He followed after me, his windshield-wiper laugh still echoing throughout the store. “Awww, come on, y/n. It was a joke.”

“Well it wasn’t funny.”

“Why not? What, you got a boyfriend that wouldn’t appreciate me flirting with his girl or something?”

His tone was nonchalant, but I sensed some tentativeness in the question. “No,” I replied firmly. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Jin looked down at me, his brown eyes bright as he smiled. “Good.”

I scoffed once more and headed over to the cashier, placing my basket down on the checkout belt. Jin placed his behind mine, and when I got out my wallet to pay, he placed a large hand over mine. “I’ll pay for both,” he told the cashier.

I didn’t say anything until we got outside, both of us weighed down with shopping bags. “You didn’t have to do that, you know,” I scolded.

Jin chuckled. “A ‘thank you’ would suffice, you know.”

I marched up to him. “Just because you’re some big shot doctor now-”

“I’m not a doctor yet, y/n.”

“Whatever. Just because you think you can-”

He cut me off once more by grabbing my bags and loading them in the back of a truck. I stared at the gray vehicle, my mouth dropping open. It was the same truck. The place where I’d lost my virginity all those years ago.

I shook my head, bringing myself back down to reality. “What’re you doing?”

Jin shut the trunk door. “Giving you a ride. Now come on, stubborn, get in.”

I scoffed, but got in on the passenger side nonetheless. Everything looked the same, but different. Rather than a Spiderman lanyard hanging from the mirror, a few graduation tassels hung there instead. The truck was cleaner than I remember. No fast food cups littered the floor, but a couple half-empty water bottles were in the cup holders.

But it was the smell that got to me. That musk with a hint of spice… exactly like I remember. My body relaxed as Jin started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot, the same way I’d relax when holding onto his jacket back home.

It didn’t take too long to reach my grandparents’. Jini pulled in the driveway and shut the engine off, but neither of us moved. Jin stared at me, but I didn’t say anything, uncomfortably biting my lip and staring at the dashboard. “Y/n,” he murmured, causing me to look at him. I half-wished I hadn’t. His eyes were filled with that same look he gave me that night we kissed and made love, wide and perfectly brown.

“Why didn’t you come back after that summer?”

There it was. The question I’d been asking myself since I got here. I twisted my hands in my lap nervously. “Because… Because…”

“Tell me,” he said softly.

I pressed my lips together before releasing a loud sigh. “Because I was afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Of you moving on.”

Jin shook his head, chuckling. “Are you serious?”

I slowly nodded.

“Y/n, I couldn’t move on even if I wanted to. I loved you. I still… love you.”

My mouth parted open in surprise at his confession. “You do?”

Jin smiled and nodded. “Yeah. I tried to move on when I realized you weren’t coming back, I really did, but you were always in the back of my mind. Y/n, I’ve loved you since we were kids.”

I bit my lip, taking only a second to process before I unbuckled my seat belt and launched myself at him. Our lips pressed together, melding into the sweetest kiss I didn’t realize I missed with every fiber of my being. Jin wrapped a hand around the back of my neck, angling his jaw to deepen the kiss, and I threw my arms around his neck, trying in vain to draw him even closer.

We pulled apart, and I smiled as I took in Jin’s blown pupils, his lips reddening from being pressed to mine, his breath coming out in short gasps. “I love you, y/n,” he murmured. “I’ve always loved you.”

My smile grew. “I love you too, Jin.”

We continued kissing for what felt like forever before he pulled back, laughing and saying we needed to get the groceries inside. We unloaded the truck with the biggest grins, holding hands as we walked up to the house.