#jinkijeans

September 5th I had a Mammogram, then an ultrasound the same day. September 20th I had a biopsy and got the results on September 24. I have stage 2 Breast Cancer. I got my chemo port Thursday, October 24th. Today, I get a whole body bone scan. There better not be any cancer on my bones or anywhere else.  I did an MRI on both my breast  about 2 weeks ago and there is no cancer in the other breast. Thank god.     I have a "Chemotherapy and you" class tomorrow. They'll do a heart ultrasound on me on Wednesday and I get a CT scan this Thursday. I have to do a blood test this week. This is the last week before my treatment starts...

I start chemotherapy on Monday, November 4th.

Please keep me in your thoughts or prayers if you pray.   I'm trying to be very positive.  

Thank you for liking my stories!

It’s no bother at all. I don’t know if my advice will begood but I will try. It’s great you feel inspired so that is a start but if youfeel awkward just take your time. Do not rush or put pressure on yourself..Just let it flow when it feels right.  Ifyou don’t know where to even begin…  thinkof what inspired you and jot down notes of what fic ideas that gives you.

I totally understand that awkward feeling…  Sometimes when that happens to me after a longhiatus I just sit and relax and let my thoughts simmer. I’ll jot them down.Even if they are weird or I think they suck. I’ll start writing after I thoughtabout it a few days and see where it takes me. Some ideas I keep writing and eventuallypost on aff and others I never pick up again until much much later or neveragain. Sometimes I pick the easiest and most comfortable then once I get mygroove back I can tackle the other stories and maybe one day post those too….  

At first I was going to say…Writing is supposed to be fun sodon’t force yourself if you’re in astage of awkwardness.  BUT …  tbh  other times I force myself through my awkwardnessunmotivated stage by just trying and seeing where it takes me. It depends. Andyou know you better than anyone so in the end it’s up to you and how you feelif you want to push or relax.

Don’t post anything until you feel comfortable with it. You’llget in the groove soon. And if it’s a matter of having ideas and inspiration butno motivation … for that I totally get that too. Sometimes I wait till it comesnaturally but other times I do my best to get myself in the mood. I’ll play myfav songs  and other things that get mehappy and stimulate my creative side. Dude, I’ve even danced around my house tosome really crappy 90’s dance songs just to get my heart rate up and my mood silly.  lol.  Iwrite better when my mood is up.  Musicis always helpful for me… Sometimes I pick songs that fit the style of fic I’m writing..kinda like a soundtrack as I write lol. Playing in the background. (like sexymusic for a smutty fic or like a slow song for a more serious fic) Heck,sometimes I pick random songs to clear my head of other thoughts to help mefocus on the task and it drowns out the rest of the word. idk if that makessince :/ then I’m like on a roll and I don’t even pay attention to the lyrics itkinda just fades away when I’m really into it and  next thing I know I’m writing how Jinki is halfdressed and Taemin is all like ONTHIGHSSS LOL

So what happens is… I can put on some music, I’ll read mynotes for my next fic. Then close my eyes and get lost in those simmeringthoughts I talked about and get lost in my own little world and I lose all awkwardness and with  the good music I gain motivation…totallymyself and the mood is high and I write what I feel, if it sucks or not.  Sometimes this method works :)

I believe you can do it! Sometimes we lose our mojo but believeme when I say, it will come back. It just takes time sometimes and there isnothing wrong with that. It’s normal. Fighting!

My 69th fic!... aptly titled Sixtynine ;)

Author: jinkijeans Title: Sixtynine Pairing: OnTae Rating: NC-17 Words: 2,955

I haven’t written in a few months and my last few fics weren’t that smutty. This is my 69th story! So, to celebrate I’ll be writing in good ol’ jinkijeans smutty fashion! Having Jinki celebrate with Taemin in this sex position ;)

Aff Link

I do get that question a lot.  I do not mind getting it. Makes me really happyLike a Fire has a lot of fans. When I was writing it I never thought it’d becomethis huge thing it ended up turning into. It has gotten even outside the ontaefandom and even a few fans from outside the Shawol fandom too. (Which totallytook me by surprise)

It’s cute when people message me and want to talk about thefic and without even mentioning the title of the story they have loving nicknamesfor them which they got from the fic and I know exactly which story they aretalking about.., it’s like these particular fictional ontae characters have theirown fandom themselves lol:   Burrito Tae and Fireman Jinki. XD I love thisstory and I’m so happy others love it as much as me. XD kekekeke Thank youeveryone who likes this fic, for real it means a lot to me… *hugs*

But now to answer the question…

Short answer: I’mactually not sure, but I think about it often.

Long answer:   I have thought about it… I do know what I wantOnTae and even JongKey’s future to be. I even had 2 titles I’ve been thinkingabout calling it. Either “After the Fire” or more likely “The Fire Still Burns”…. So I could do it but I don’t thinkit would be as great of a story as the first. But one part of me feels: I’m afraidit would let people down because the first one was so good and my most popularstory. IF I did write The Fire still Burns it’d be really short with not a oflot of chapters and suspense compared to Like a Fire and it probably wouldn’thave all the cool “fire” imagery symbolic/metaphors. Which I think would makethe story bland. I might be able tofit it in :/ but I’m not confident I could and it needs to be there to tie itall together I think.  And if I mess upthat theme in a sequel then the series would lose its “fire” literally. Basically I’d hate to ruin Likea Fire by making a sequel and also have the sequel be a huge flop especially ona story so many people really love.  Butthe other part of me feels like telling you what Fireman Jinki is up too withhis young Burrito Tae and what ever happen to their bff’s  Kibum and the puppy man. Because I plan onmaking a really funny as hell JongKey scene.

Summary:  *heavy sigh*hmmmm, what to do, what to do…. I don’t know. I want to but what if it sucks?:/

I know this is late as heck lol but my inbox didn’t tell me I had Asks until just now. Happy New Year! sorry its late. *hugs* 

Happy late New year to every body every everybody (yes i i just sang that lol) 

To every one else that sent me Asks or OnTae Fic requests.. I’ll get to answering those in time. If you sent me chain letter hug thingies., Here is a huge HUGGGGGGG for you guys, I wasn’t being rude and not wanting a hug to pass along/return, it’s just  I’ve been using my phone to reblog posts here on tumblr (and read a few fics on AFF)… I haven’t had my PC for 6 and half months so I haven’t been able to post anything of my own or write fics and i also wasn’t getting any notifications for my inbox here on tumblr so I couldn’t respond (What the heck tumblr, I’m now so far behind *grumpy face*). I just moved into my new house and my stuff is out of storage now so wooohooo I got my PC back and I will be able to write again soon *does happy dance* 

Give me time to answer the asks and fic requests. (got to unpack all my stuff and move in and stuff, of course i unpacked my computer 1st lol) and I will be back to good ol’ jinkijeans real soon.

P.S. Before I start on any requests though. I will be wrting one of my own I have in mind. My next fic I write will be my 69th fic! So OF COURSE i got to make it kinky lol. so with that in mind, i am sure you all know what OnTae will be doing in the fic ;)

Thankyou for saying I’m nice :) I love Authors they are so sweet and squshy Just like our Leader Onew XD 

*        TaeSook (fic starts off as kids and they grow up and Taemin finally marries the noona he has loved since he was 5 yrs old. drama/angst but in the end a happy ending of course. I have had this idea for 2 years and have a few pages already but idk if it’s worth it *shrugs*   But writing Taemin as a 5 yr old is the most adorable shit ever lol. I wrote one sence as teens and Eunsook is HOT and taemin is just ;alkdjf;alkdfj for her and with drool hanging off his lip like Homer Simpson LOL and his bff Key is like “dude, we’re in public calm yo tits.” lol… oh and i will need a bad guy for this fic.. Jonghyun maybe? Joon? Minho???? Eunsook is going to have an asshole boyfriend when they get to high school… (you all should pick him, cuz i can’t choose) … She is a few grades older so taemin don’t know until he gets to highschool and is all sad, *pouty face*…. n-e-ways…

*     Ontae as elderly couple. (Sweet fic, love story/romance) A few years after Jinki’s wife has passed away Jinki is reunited with his 1st love, Taemin of course, after decades of being separated. I have already written a little for this one too… but I might scrap it and start all over…. oh and Jinki is a grandpa, his grandbaby is Gwiboon XD she is very CUTEEEEEEEE. I have a few parts written with him playing with her in the living room and BoonBoon loves her grandpa so much, they are best friends forever she tells her mama, Eunsook.I’ve never written onho before but in this fic Minho is Eunsook’s hubby. but dun dun dunnnnnn what will they think when they find out Jinki is actually gay? 

*    “OnDrew” with ontae (another bonus chapter to “Fuck like a Rock star” also know as FLARS) SMUT. Drew flys ontae out to Japan for a conert, cuz he is missing his taetae and newnew really badly… of course ontae are like lets have sexysexy. and Tae be like how bout we makeout in the hot tub. and one thing leads to antoher *wink wink* and next thing ya know, Drew is fucking ontae like ontae planned *giggles* well, they can’t help it they missed him sooooooooooo muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. and it’s not like drew is complaining. pfft. he is sooo into it, ya’ll know it.

*   A prequel to Obey. (SMUT, a dash of humor, Ontae’s lessons/fails/up and downs they came across along their journey as they learned BDSM and got to the relationship they have now in “Obey”. I will probably add it even further back to like how they met, and married and stuff before I have Taemin come up with the idea ‘they should try more kinkier things’ and Jinki’s 1st reaction to the suggestion.

*  Squeal to Like a Fire, fic will start up with ontae a few years from where the fic left off.. might be smut also since now that taemin is older…… and for you jongkey lovers- Not only will Bummie finally met Jinki but Thanks to OnTae, Key will finally meet Firefighter Puppy boy ;) … I have a rough idea of how I will write this but any suggestions are welcome. And idk but should Jinki meet Taemin’s parents????  

Anyway that is what is floating around my head at the moment. I need to pick… or maybe just write something new. What do you guys think? hmmmm *thinking*

oh and btw I will be posting a new one shot titled “Score!” Friday so please look forward to it.