#jergal

Dark Urge Playthrough: you’re the child of Bhaal, but unlike the Bhaalspawn, you are created solely by Bhaal himself. The first true child of Bhaal. The daughter of one of your father’s previous Bhaalspawn turns on you, attacks you and tries to kill you. In your dying state, she infects you with a parasite so that you’ll die an incredibly humiliating death, and become her slave.

By some miracle you end up on the same nautiloud ship as a Sharron Cleric who happens to to be carrying a gith artefact that contains Baldur himself. Baldur, who was made a mind flayer and is now calling himself the Emperor, realises there’s an incredibly powerful Bhaalspawn on the ship, and that he can use them to his advantage. The power you have will help him destroy Gortash. Of course he picks you, it makes so much sense.

On your way to Baldurs Gate you find out through an unsent letter that you used to be into Gortash. When you get to Baldurs Gate, the man you used to fuck turns out to be an absolute loser and with horror you realise he is still into you. It’s okay though, he’s very easy to kill.

You end up facing off against Orin, your niece, and kill her. Your father appears to you and offers you the chance to become his Slayer. On the high chance you turn him down, he murders you in front of your loved ones, and leaves you to rot.

Then Jergal, the actual Lord of the End of Everything, the original God of Death, who was the very being that turned you father into a God all that time ago, who’s been in your camp for weeks pretending to be this undead scribe called Withers, appears next to your corpse and brings you back to life, basically adopts you, states that he will protect you from Bhaal, and announces that as long as he lives, you will never die. You’re essentially immortal.

withers and his ever growing collection of kids (OC)

I also love that the reason he's responsible for their uprising is because he got bored. He literally got bored of his position as Lord of the Dead and wanted to retire, so when these three morally questionable humans came looking for godhood he was like, "Hmmm. Yes, okay. Here. Take my portfolios. Fight over them. I don't care. I quit."

So after bowling with skulls in a friendly competition to decide who would get what portfolio, they took up his powers and wreaked havoc on the world. Only at that moment did Jergal, AKA Withers, AKA our precious Bone Daddy think, "I'm just now, internally, asking myself, in quite a worried way, whether I might've made an error."

So he joins your merry band and watches your escapades, calmly twiddling his fingers while you clean up his mess. He's happy to lend his aid, even to the point that he'll bring Durge back to life if they reject Bhaal, even though he technically shouldn't. But he's Withers. The rules don't apply to him. If Ao doesn't like it, he can descend from the Heavens and say it to his rotting face.

And the reason he saves Durge isn't necessarily because he likes them or because he's a morally good entity (though one certainly could make that argument), but because he wants to add insult to injury. He steals Bhaal's child with a big smile on his face, dubs them his Chosen, and praises them for rejecting all the power they were promised. But of course, he still doesn't tell them who he is—or rather who he was.

Then, when all is said and done, he throws Tav and their companions a cute little party. No one knows it's probably half a thank you party and half a "Withers is bored again" party. And if anyone misbehaves, he'll get irritated and whisk them away. Because how dare they? He put a lot of work into that.

And at the end of it all, he walks up to a mural of the Dead Three and basically goes, "Lmao. Thou didst fuck around, and thou didst find out." Just savagely roasting them.

And then poof!

*pre act 1, somewhere in the outerplanes or whatever* gods: what the hells are the dead 3 doing now?? what is that?? a netherbrain?? ugh right then, what are we gonna do about it shar: i have a plan SO EVIL AND PERFECT and a chosen locked and loaded she's already on her way to retrieve that stupid githyanki prince and then im going to fucking destroy that asshole ketheric

mystra: bitch please the only one around here with a shiny red fix it button is me. when i tell you my former chosen is obsessed with me. no way will he deny me, all i gotta do is ask and he'll detonate the problem in one go. ace in the hole.

Jergal [a big fan of the avengers]: i have a plan to bring together a group of of remarkable people to see if they could become something more. To see if they could work together when we need them to, to fight the battles that we never could.

gods: ugh shut the hell up jergal this is basically your fault

Jergal: im stealing all your feral chosen and you can't stop me

Dark Urge: *jizzes in his pants at the thought of killing people and than breaks down cry-laughing while putting a gun in his mouth and yelling that he's really gonna do it this time*

Lae'Zel: Oh my Vlaakith, I NEED to fuck this guy.

Shadowheart: Typical. I don't know why I bother with you pitiful- HOLY SHIT THE DOG JUST DID A ROLL, SOMEONE GET ME THE CAMERA

Karlach: I burned it by touching it and than accidentally crushed it with my huge muscles, soldier. Sorry.

Gale: *choking to death on a magic pendant he tried to eat*

Wyll: Does anyone care about Gale dying?

Astarion: *painting his nails* No.

Halsin: I'LL SAVE YOU, GALE. *turns into a bear and runs away to kill goblin children*

Minsc: I'LL SAVE YOU, GALE. *throws Boo at Astarion's face*

Minthara: I'm hotter than all of you, have I mentioned that?

Emperor: You know who's REALLY hot? You if you become a mind flayer. Use the tadpole. Please. I'm begging you, just a little. Use the tadpole. Please, for the love of Ao, use it.

Withers: Doust any of thoust hath games on yon phones?

Jaheira:

Round 4 — Match 4 / 10 — Halsin vs. Withers

Halsin is a recruitable Companion who can be romanced by characters of any gender. He is a Wood Elf and a Circle of the Moon Druid with the Outlander background. Halsin can be first found in the Shattered Sanctum during Act One as an Attached Follower or as a Camp Follower. Having recently resigned as Archdruid of the Emerald Grove, Halsin seeks to create a perfect balance between nature and civilization as well as find a cure for the Shadow Curse that has haunted his home for the past century. Halsin is the only character with access to the spell Wild Shape: Cave Bear.

"halsin left the grove for five minutes and the whole place immediately started doing fascism. that’s not his fault but it IS extremely funny."

"Halsin is a genuinely kind, competent adult in a game full of disasters. He’s calm under pressure, he actually cares about the people around him, and when he decides something matters (like fixing the shadow curse), he commits. Also he’s built like a statue."

"halsin is one of my favourite companions because his arc isn’t about chasing power, it’s about cleaning up a mess that should’ve never been allowed to spread. he could’ve stayed in the grove and played politics forever, but instead he’s like “no, i’m going to the shadow-cursed lands, because this is wrong,” and then you watch him do the work. not in a flashy cutscene way. in a stubborn, practical way. talking to people, following leads, sitting with grief, literally walking into a cursed battlefield because he refuses to leave it broken. and the thaniel stuff makes him hit harder because it’s not “save the world,” it’s “save one wounded thing and the world gets a little less unbearable.” also i appreciate that he feels older without being written like a grandpa; he’s patient, he’s steady, he’s warm, and he’s still fully capable of looking at you like “yes, i know what you’re doing.” sir i am simply existing near you. please."

vs.

Withers is a mysterious Undead entity who joins the party on their adventures as a Camp Follower. He calls himself "a scribe, a seneschal - a keeper of records". He offers resurrection and Hireling services to the party, and also allows respeccing of characters.

"i love withers because he has the energy of a skeleton accountant. you die? he’s got a form for that. you want to respec? he’s got a form for that. you want to hire a random mercenary stranger to fill the party gap you created bc you’re emotionally attached to a suboptimal build? he’s got a form for that too. and he does it all with zero enthusiasm. camp grandpa from hell."

"him being jergal makes his whole “why do you care about romance” routine even funnier, because imagine an ancient death scribe looking at your party flirting and going “this is what you do with your limited time?” sir. please. let us have something"