#jensen fluff

You’re on a date for, what feels like, the first time in forever.

He’s a complete gentleman, pulling your seat out and kissing the top of your head and it makes you melt into his touch.

He knows exactly what you’re going to order. 

You look at the menu for 5 minutes before you get the same thing you always do.

Jensen teases you when you get sauce on your nose.

You threaten to take his dessert away and he pulls out his bottom lip.

That fucker knows what he’s doing.

Your phone rings in your clutch purse and you huff, your moment ruined.

“I’m sorry, Jay.”

“Take it. Might be important.”

You would have turned your phone off but you looked at the caller ID. “It’s Lorraine, you mind if I take this?”

“Go ahead. I’m not going anywhere. Maybe your pasta will.”

“Have the rest. I’m just going to eat your dessert.”

When you return, you aren’t as giddy as when you left. Your face is a little deflated.

“How’d it go?”

Tears spring to your eyes.

Jensen expects the worst from your reaction but when you’re seated, you reveal that you’ve finally got your big break. You’re way too happy to even squeal. All you can do is let the tears fall because you had worked so hard just to get any role and you received the female lead role in a movie that was set to be a success.

Yawning, you pick up yet another energy drink from the fridge. You had been filming all day, awake since three in the morning and now it was almost eleven at night. You were so ready for bed but the others kept messing around, making each other laugh and even though the jokes were funny, you just wanted to get back to your trailer before you passed out  right here on the table behind you. Barely able to keep your eyes open, you were pretty sure you heard them say your name but there were no words that came out of your mouth apart from a nod that you were barely aware of.

You blinked a few times but it did nothing to help clear your foggy eyes. Not even a bucket of freezing cold water would do the trick. But you wouldn't say that out loud as you were sure that the rest of the cast would dump one over your head.

Jensen had been kind enough to talk to the rest of the cast, without you knowing, but you noticed the changes in their work ethic. It felt like the entire crew was feeling what you felt, they hadn't been awake for as long as you had been but they had known the effect of constantly working for more than fifteen hours at a time. Sometimes you wish that you could go back to your shitty job before you realised you wanted to act; the pay was terrible but the hours were so much better for your sleeping schedule, even if you didn’t know it back then.

“And that is a wrap for today. Thank you, guys, you can all head home for a couple of days. We’ll start back up again on Monday.”

There was an indistinct chatter that surrounded you as you nodded your head at some of the crew and the directors. Tired eyes glazing over as you grabbed your jacket and headed back to your trailer.

Jiggling the door open, you leave the light off and you throw your jacket on the couch, making your way to your bed - landing on it with a soft thud. Snuggling into the pillows, you quickly fell asleep but was soon jerked awake at the sound of your trailer door opening- loud footsteps following after. It scared the bejesus out of you when the light turned on and almost blinded you. 

“What are you doing in my trailer, Jensen?”

He choked out a laughing scoff. “Your trailer? Sweetheart, since when did you change your name to Jensen Ackles?”

“What do you mean? What are you talking about?”

“Look around, Y/N. How did you not notice the bed was in a completely different place, with no girly sheets?”

“I was tired, Jense. I didn’t even manage to turn the light on.” You rubbed at your squinted eyes, trying to grab at the covers to kick them off of you. 

“Where do you think you’re going? Go back to sleep, I’ll take the couch. It’s pretty comfy anyway.”

“You could always come and join me. I mean it is your bed.” You yawned again, not fighting Jensen as he grabbed his pajamas. You rolled over to your other side, snuggling into the pillow once more. It felt as if no time had passed before the lights turned off and the bed dipped behind you.

Feedback is gold and very much appreciated

Forevers: @super100012 @lupine-princess @plaid-lover-bay25 @atc74 @growningupgeek @sophiebobzz @docharleythegeekqueen @grace-for-sale @mrswhozeewhatsis @jesspfly @supernaturallymarvellous @sammysgirl1997 @roxyspearing @mogaruke @be-amaziing @deanandsamsbitch @frankiea1998 @iwantthedean @capsheadquaters @emoryhemsworth @notmoose45 @essie1876 @cassieraider @brewsthespirit-blog @riversong-sam @jotink78 @captainradicalpassion @jadalecki-jackles-blog @spnbaby-67 @holyfuckloueh @gh0stgurl @alyssa6marie @esoltis280 @alexwinchester23 @x-waywardaf-x @randomparanoid @kellianz @lyarr24​

Jensen took the guitar from you and turned on the barstool to face out from the kitchen toward the breakfast nook and give himself more room to play. He placed the instrument on his leg and started to pluck at the strings. Soon the familiar chords of “Simple Man” filled the air. 

He started to sing the words to the song he loved so much in his smooth soulful voice and had almost made it through the first verse when he stopped. His fingers strummed at the strings of the guitar for a few more seconds before they stopped moving too.

It was a Dean song. Jensen had always said it would become real to him that Supernatural was over when he walked onto another set and had to be somebody else. For the past several months, that’s what he’d done; and he had to do it alone. The travel restrictions were still in place while he was filming. That meant you couldn’t be there; Jared couldn’t be there. Jensen was alone in his head, and he was inclined to think too much sometimes.

The separation hadn’t been easy on you either. You’d lost sleep more than one night after a Facetime call when you knew things weren’t quite right, and Jensen was doing his best to put on a good face for you. He was a good actor, but he wasn’t good enough to hide what he was really feeling from you.

The irony was you had been able to see Jared, and the two of you had met for lunch regularly when he had a day off from Walker. Jared and Jensen were a package deal. You’d known that from the beginning and were more than happy to get a best friend/brother included in the greatest boyfriend ever set. Your conversations had centered largely around Jensen and the ending of Supernatural.

Jared was worried about him too because he knew how hard it was to let Sam go, and the truth was he hadn’t. He couldn’t. Jared provided a lot of insight into the things Jensen might be feeling that he wasn’t telling you about. 

Jared’s words echoed in your mind now as you watched Jensen set his guitar down on the terrazzo tile. He’s got to figure out how to make Dean part of him and any other character he plays, because Dean’s not going anywhere. 

You walked closer to stand between Jensen’s open legs and run your hands through his once again short hair.  Your fingertips massaged his scalp, and he leaned into your touch. “You miss him, don’t you?” you asked quietly.

Jensen opened his jade green eyes, and you could see the melancholy in them, the touch of heartache. He tried to laugh, but it was more of a heavy exhale through his nose and a sad smile. “I know it’s stupid. It’s been a year.”

You kissed the corner of his mouth. “It’s not stupid at all.” Then you took Jensen’s hand in yours, an idea forming in your head and putting a gleam in your eye. “Go get dressed. And when I say dressed I mean put on some plaid. None of this one layer business either. That’s not the Winchester Way.”

“What are you up to, Y/N?” Jensen narrowed his eyes, making the crinkles at their corners more prominent.

“We’re taking your Baby for a ride, so get your sexy ass off this barstool and go get ready.”  You gave his butt a good smack. That would either get him moving or get his dick twitching; both would be ideal.

Fifteen minutes later, Jensen was backing Baby out of her special garage with you in the passenger seat. Driving her was like swimming; you didn’t forget how no matter how long it’d been since you last saw water. Watching the way he handled his beloved Impala was a huge turn on. It had been when you’d watched “Dean” do it on your television screen, and it was even more so now.

As he steered her down the long driveway, Jensen asked, “Where do you want to go?”

You were distracted by the sight of his forearms, with their prominent veins, peeking out from the rolled up cuffs of the red and black flannel he was wearing; and didn’t respond immediately. He looked over at you, saw you checking him out, and smiled. “Why don’t you come closer? You’re too far away.”

Jensen had changed practically nothing on the car. Installing an air conditioner was a must, but he’d wanted her to stay as much the same as she had been as she could possibly be. That included no seat belts, so you could slide across the bench seat until you were next to him. Jensen put his hand on your thigh. “That’s better,” he said. “Now, tell me where to take you.”

You put your head on his shoulder. “It doesn’t matter. Just find a pretty backroad, and let’s drive.”

When he’d driven far enough out of Austin that the road was mostly deserted, you started to kiss Jensen’s neck and nibble at his ear. “How many girls do you think Dean had in this car?” you asked while you blew into his ear. 

“Do you mean had or had?” Jensen moved his hand around to the inside of your thigh and eased it higher up your leg, bringing it closer to your core.

“I think you know what I mean.” You wriggled down in the seat until your pussy made contact with his hand.

Jensen rubbed his thick fingers along the seam of your jeans, making you squirm. “Oh, I imagine he had quite a few.”

“Is this what he did with them? What you’re doing to me right now?” You rubbed yourself against his hand and moaned.

“Among other things.” Jensen’s voice had dropped down into the Dean register. “Why don’t you, uh, open those jeans you’re wearin’, and I’ll show you.” 

He glanced at you, his hand still teasing you through the denim. His expression had changed. You were looking into the eyes of Dean Winchester. He could still fall back into character in an instant.

You opened them up, granting him access to the cotton and lace trimmed panties you were wearing underneath. Dean slipped his hand under the waistband and curled his finger right up against your clit. He started making circles over the already aching nub and applied enough pressure to make you feel like you could come apart at any second.

“You are so wet, sweetheart.” He was watching the road, but his focus was on you. “I bet you’re tight too.” He said it like he didn’t know.

The idea that he was completely in character now, and it was Dean touching you made you come all over his hand. You couldn’t grab him like you wanted to, so you clawed at the seat beside you instead while your orgasm flowed through you in waves that made you weak. 

When your body stopped shaking, Dean pulled his hand from your pants and made a show of cleaning your juices off his fingers. God. His lips. You wanted to feel them on you. He was so close you could smell him, but you needed to be closer. You buried your face in his neck and breathed him in. “Find somewhere to pull over,” you told him. “Somewhere off the road where nobody can see.”

Dean/Jensen knew these Texas backroads, and within a short time he’d found a secluded place to park Baby. “Let’s get in the back,” you said, laying your hand over the swelling bulge between his legs. 

“Sounds good to me, sweetheart.” He kissed you once. His mouth claiming yours, and his need for you evident in the way his tongue tangled with yours. Then Dean opened the door. You smiled when you heard it make the familiar groaning squeak. He got out and gave you his hand to help you out of the car. 

As soon as you were both in the back seat and the door had closed solidly behind him, you reached for his belt. You couldn’t get him out of his clothes fast enough, and he’d worn all the layers just like you’d asked him to. With your clothes piled on the floorboard, you explored each other’s bodies with your hands and your mouths. 

Dean made his mark on you, leaving hot kisses on your stomach, your breasts, and the insides of your thighs. His touch was a little different than the one you were used to, a little heavier with an almost desperation to feel alive through the act of joining your body with someone else’s. 

You knew people said that Jensen should win awards for his acting, and you could verify that they were right because the way he kissed you, the way he touched you, it was tender, caring, and passionate. But the love wasn’t there. This man appreciated you, wanted you, worshipped your body, but he didn’t love you. It was Jensen who loved you.

The way he moved inside you was different too. His thrusts were deep and sharp, then he would slow down and roll his hips until you were begging for him to give you more. When he came inside you, the sound of your name on his lips was a more primal thing. It was basic and raw. This was sex for the sake of the pure physical pleasure, and it felt amazingly good. You clenched him tightly, determined to milk every drop of the pain out of him. 

Immediately after the finish of your mind numbing orgasm, he rolled off of you. “Thank you, baby.” Jensen.

You turned toward him and propped yourself over him, so you could look down into his face. What you saw confirmed what you’d heard in the change of his voice. It was the man you loved. You kissed him, and it was the kiss you knew. It was filled with a soft intensity that made you feel loved, wanted, chosen, and trusted.

You were overwhelmed by how much this man meant to you. Dean Winchester was as sexy as any man had ever been, but it was Jensen you were going to marry one day, Jensen who held your heart. It was Jensen who always thought of you in so many little ways like a true gentleman would.

As if to prove it, he asked, “Are you cold?” He rubbed his hand down your back to check and apparently decided you were, because he sat up and retrieved his flannel from the floorboard. “Here. Put this on,” he told you as he helped you into it and buttoned up some of the buttons in the middle, enough to keep the shirt closed. 

You settled back beside him, his arms wrapped securely around you. His body was warmer than any flannel. You placed soft kisses on his chest, then lay your head down on it. “It’s okay to miss him,” you whispered while you traced mindless patterns over Jensen’s heart with your fingertip. “It’s okay to be him again sometimes too if that’s what you need. He’s part of you, Jensen. Always will be.”

“It’s been so damn hard these past few months.” You kissed his chest again to encourage him to go on. “I hear ‘action’ and to me that means be Dean, but I couldn’t. I had to fight it. I couldn’t walk like him, or sound like him, or make any of the gestures he would have made. And, yeah, I missed him.”

“I missed being on set with Jared too, having him to play off of. We made each other better. We had a rhythm when we were doing a scene that was just natural. So natural, it almost wasn’t acting.” You could feel his arms tighten around you the slightest bit. ”I felt like I forgot how to act.” 

You kissed him again, letting your lips linger on his skin before you pulled them away. “I wish I could have been there for you. I’m sorry you had to go through that alone.”

He tried to laugh again, just like he had earlier in the kitchen. It was a little closer to a real laugh. “I couldn’t be Dean Winchester forever, could I?”

You raised your head up to look at him. “That’s not even a question, Jensen.” You smiled when you said it. “You will be Dean forever. You can’t get him out of you. Stop trying to fight it. You’ve proved you can play another character. Eric can’t stop raving about how good you are, and I’m sure when the season is released everyone else is going to see that too.”

He reached up and took your face in his hand. “I’m one lucky son of a bitch to have you.” Your smile got bigger.

“See. That was Dean right there.” Realization crossed Jensen’s face. He shook his head and smiled, really smiled.

“So, you’re saying you wouldn’t mind if I bring Dean out to play every once in awhile?” The smile was still on his face, and it was beautiful. 

“I wouldn’t mind that at all.” You kissed him then with a light flirtiness for the first time that day. “In fact I think it would be a good idea for us to do that. We better keep you in practice because everybody knows Supernatural is coming back, and we don’t want Dean to come across like Soldier Boy,” you said playfully.

Jensen flipped you beneath him. “Soldier Boy? I’ll show you Soldier Boy.”

And that’s a story for another time...

Everything: @gambitwinchester​ @princessmisery666​ @peridottea91​ @beenlovingromansincedayoneish​ @emilyshurley​ @fangirlxwritesx67​ @waywardbaby​ @atc74​ @shaniquacynthia​ @mariekoukie6661​ @tumbler-tidbits​ @67-chevy-baby​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @emoryhemsworth​ @crashdevlin​ @jules-1999​ @cosicas-cuquis​ @sammyimpala-67​ @queenoftheunderdark​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @timelordy-fangirl2​ @sweetness47​ @hobby27​ @awesomesusiebstuff​ @kickingitwithkirk​ @becs-bunker​ @sandlee44​ @supernaturalgrandma​ @sea040561​ @dawnie1988​ @volleyballer519​ @kdfrqqg​ @lizette50​ @daisymoder72​ @sorenmarie87​ @lovealways-j​ @deansotherotherblog​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @spnbaby-67​ @wayward-and-worn​ @asthesunwentdown​ @vulgar-library​ @thinkinghardhardlythinking​ @petitgateau911​ @calaofnoldor​

"Guys! Dinner's ready! Get in here and wash up!" you yelled out the back door, luckily getting the attention of your three kids.

Snow days. Fun for them, not so fun for you. It was beautiful outside, but with how much snow came, you had a ton of snow to shovel otherwise you wouldn't be getting your car out in the morning to take them to school. Something they would love. But an extra day off for the weekend was plenty for you. You had work to do around the house and it was impossible to do with them there.

"Shoes off." you instruct when you hear them start to pile in, knowing that if you didn't they'd just run right through the house, dragging snow throughout the place which would add that much more cleaning to your list.

You loved being a mom, but you had to admit that it was hard doing it by yourself. Considering what your husband did for a living and the fact that he was away most the time, you were practically a single mother raising three crazy kids on your own. But you couldn't be mad at him for that. He was living his dream and it made him happy. Not only that, but because of what he did, he has made your life a dream come true too. It was just the sacrifice that you both had to make.

Four plates were out and ready to go. Each child had their own glass with what they requested inside and you were grabbing your glass of wine by the time they came barreling down the stairs and into the dinning room.

They were laughing and talking about all the fun they were having outside, producing more ideas for when they could go back out tomorrow. You loved how they got along most of the time. Siblings would always fight, but when they worked together like they were then, it made everything that much better. You loved your little family, and you loved your husband. You just missed him beyond belief right now.

The snow was up to your shins and it was soaking through your pants, but you were so close to getting the drive clear. You did the sidewalk first, practically shoveling your way out of the house just to get to the garage. But you made good headway. You were just dying to finish so that you could go back inside, get some hot coffee and snuggle up under a blanket.

The kids were in the living room, curled up together and watching a movie. They refused to go to bed without seeing their dad even though you told them that the cut off was eleven. You weren't sure when Jensen was going to be getting home, especially in this weather and you weren't going to let them be up all night.

The night was silent. It always seemed more quiet after it snowed. Like the large blanket put everyone into a deep sleep. There was no cars driving in the distance, no yelling from the neighbors, no music playing. It was just pure silence.

You got excited when you had reached the final patch. A few more lifts and you would have cleaned the area out and made it accessible for the morning. That and you made it clear for when Jensen got home. Not that his six foot figure would struggle to get through the eight inches, but still.

"Excuse me? Miss?" You didn't even hear a car pull up, so the voice definitely took you off guard.

"Yes?" you sigh as you stand and turn towards the man.

"Hey, um...listen. My car broke down back here and uh...I was just wondering if I could use your phone so that I could get a tow truck out here and pick me up?"

"Hmm." you think for a moment, watching as the man slowly moves towards you. "I don't know. I'm not sure that my husband would be too happy about me letting a strange man into the house while he's away."

"He's away?" Interested, he continues to move closer to you. "Why's that?"

"He's an actor. Works out of town."

"Oh!" A few steps more and he pauses, making sure not to get too close to you. "I was gonna say...if I was your husband, I don't think I could ever leave you." You feel yourself blush and you can't help but look away from the attractive man.

"That's alright. I don't want to get you in trouble with your husband, but um..." his feet crunch against the remnants of the snow that you couldn't shovel as he gets even closer, and as you look up, he's practically chest to chest with you. "I do have one more question."

"What's that?"

"Well, I uh...I also left my lip balm in the car, so I'm out and I think I'm feeling a little uh..."

"Chapped?" you finish for him as he puckers his lips together.

"Chapped, yeah. So I was wondering if I could...borrow some lip balm?"

"I don't know if you're going to like what I got."

"Do you mind if I...try it?"

"Hmm." you shrug nonchalantly, tilting your head up a bit as he leans in.

It was just a quick peck, but it sent chills through your body, making it even harder to fight the smile on your face.

He turns his head to the side, acting kind of embarrassed for kissing you. His lips roll together for a moment and you dip your head a bit to try and gauge his reaction.

"Do you like it?"

"You know, I can't tell. Let me...just..." he steps even closer now, his right hand sliding along the side of your face as he pulls you in. He's practically eating you alive and you're loving every second. You don't even fight him on it, you just let his tongue take control and let his arms pull you as close as they can.

"I missed you!" you cry out when he finally pulls away.

"I missed you." he leans in to steal another kiss and there's no way you're going to tell him no, not for how much you missed him. "Look at you shoveling this all by yourself."

"Well, someone's got to do it, right?"

"I could have done it when I got home." his gloved hands were pressed firmly against your back, keeping you close so that you could feed off of each others body heat.

"After all the traveling you just did? No. You need to rest."

"Says the woman who has spent all week with three kids and a day and half of a snow day. That's practically like dealing with all three birthdays on Christmas with them full of sugar." You laugh as you fall into his fluffy coat and you can feel him kiss the top of your head.

“Are they asleep?”

“No.” you groan softly. “They wanted to wait up for you.”

“Well, lets go fix that, cause I want to spend some time with my wife.”

As Jensen moved into the bedroom, you set your book down in your lap. He looked exhausted, but you couldn’t help but chuckle at how adorable he looked.

“They missed you.”

“Yeah.” he whispers, running his fingers over his eyes. “I missed them too, but damn.” he moved around the side of the bed and kicked off his shoes before stripping himself from his shirt and pants. “What did you feed them for dinner?”

“Not sugar.” you laugh as he crawls over the covers, remaining on all fours as he climbs on top of you.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.” you barely get the words out before his lips interrupt you.

“Cause I’m starting to think you kept them up just so you can hide out in here all by yourself.” he whispered against your lips before stealing another kiss.

“Never.”

“No?”

“No.” you brought a hand up to his cheek, letting your fingers remind you of everything you loved about this man. “I’d never give up my time with you.” He then nipped at your bottom lip. “I love you.”

“Good to know.” You press your lips together, trying to hold in the laugh that was shaking your chest. He lets his mouth attach to your jaw, slowly leaving kisses in it’s wake as he makes his way to your neck, and that’s when your eyes catch the alarm clock on his side of the bed.

“Hmm.” Hearing the amused tone, he pulls back with questioning eyes.

“What?” You lift both hands then and place them on the side of his face, pulling him close and kissing him. It was the kiss you’ve been dying to give him. You had a small hint of it outside when he got home, but now was even better. It was deeper, more passionate, and you definitely didn’t want to pull away. But unfortunately, you had to.

“Not complaining, but...” he breathes against your mouth. “...what was that for?”

“Happy Birthday.”

“What?”

“it’s after midnight.” you whisper as if you’re afraid the kids will hear you. “It’s officially March first.” He smiles a bit before taking a glance at the time. Not that you would lie to him, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Would you look at that.” You turn his face back and kiss him again, honestly not caring if you got zero sleep as long as it meant you got to spend alone time with him.

“Happy birthday, Jensen.”

Forever Babes:

@dnnwnchstr22 @ricanqueen20 @onethirstyunicorn @in-deans-arms @sandlee44 @hobby27 @catching-up-with-kayla @chances-and-miracles @superfanficnatural @thatmotleygirl @sleep-i-ness @beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep @amandamdiehl @coldmuffinbanditshoe @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @deangirl93 @that-one-gay-girl​ @borikenlove @foreverlonelyforhim​ @fairlyspnfanfic​ @mlovesstories​ @miraclesoflove​ @flamencodiva​

Dean/Jensen:

The house was quiet sans the light music playing from Jensen’s phone. He had made breakfast and waited for you to wake up to join him, but when the door to his room never opened, he figured he’d go and check in on you. 

You were awake, which was good, but unfortunately for you, you were in no mood to eat. He found you in the adjoining bathroom, hacking your guts out; and it quite literally was your guts, cause he knows for a fact that you haven’t eaten much.

He wasn’t sure how long you had been in there, but according to you it was too long. You were in tears telling him that you just wanted to go back to bed.

After about another half hour of him holding back your hair and running his fingers along your back, your body had finally let up and stopped you from heaving into the toilet bowl.

Jensen finally got you back to bed a little after that and you had fallen asleep quite quickly, which he was kind of grateful for. But that’s what brought him back here; back in the kitchen packing up what he had made into little containers and sticking them in the fridge. 

Another meal untouched and stacked in the large cooler for him to munch on later by himself.

He heard a few knocks in the distance as he stuck the few tupperware containers in one of the free spaces in the fridge and before he could stand again, his visitor had let himself in.

Jared made sure the door was shut all the way before glancing around the quiet apartment. Jensen locked eyes with him for a moment before grabbing a rag from the sink and wiping down the counter.

“Where’s Y/N?”

“Sleeping.” Jensen answered without looking up from the counter.

“How she doing?” Was the next question as Jared stepped up to the island, trying to avoid touching the recently cleaned marble as he took a seat on one of the barstools. 

Jensen didn’t answer right away. He finished his quick wipe down and then took the rag back to it’s original resting place.

“Where do I start?” It was more of a statement than a question, but either way, Jared sat in silence and waited for his friend to continue as he turned and leaned against the counter.

“She’s been getting sick around the clock. She can’t keep anything down.” his hand smacked against the cabinet before pushing himself off of it. “She’s always cold, so then I wrap her up just for her to be a sweating mess a few minutes later. She has body aches all the time. Probably from getting sick so much, I don’t know. Oh! And when she isn’t awake dealing with all of that crap, she’s sleeping. Which is great, except for the fact that I’m terrified every second of everyday that I’ll walk in one of these times to find her not breathing because she’s choked on her own throw up or something.”

Whether the countertop was dry or not, Jensen didn’t seem to care. He rested his hands on the clean marble and let his defeated self fall limp, leaving his faith in his hands to keep him standing upright.

Jared was hurting for both of you, and just like Jensen, he wished he could do something to fix all of this, but that sadly was not possible.

“Well, the doctor said that the side effects should only last about a week.”

“Yeah, well, this has been the longest week of my damn life.” Jensen came back with quickly, his exhausted face snapping up to meet Jared’s “It’s only been three days and I want to give up.”

“I know.” Jensen never gave up, especially when it came to you, but Jared knew that it was his exhaustion talking. “But, just hang in there, alright? It’ll be over soon.” Jared then took a second to glance down the hall. Jensen’s bedroom door was shut and it was extremely quiet, especially since Jensen turned his music off.

“Have you heard anything about them?” Knowing who he was talking about, Jensen just looked across at his friend, trying to control the anger that was filling his face.

“No.”

“Well, I’m sure that they’re taking care of it.” he muttered before standing and going for the fridge, his dry mouth dying for something to drink.

“Yeah, well they better be. Cause I’ll tell you what, if they don’t, I’m going to drive over there and take care of it myself.”

“Jensen...” The defeated, warning tone had Jensen spinning around, his now wide eyes starring at his friend as he popped off the top to one of the beers he had left.

“What!? You can’t tell me that you don’t want to beat their faces in.”

“You’re right. I can’t. Hell, I want to do more than that, but you and I both know that, that will only hurt us in the long run. The system doesn’t care about due justice. We’d be booked for assault and attempted murder and you know it.” He knew Jared was right, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to do it still.

“Y/N needs you now. You need to be here.”

Let us make you feel good

Hearing your sick boyfriends voice whispering in your ear had you gasping awake and trembling as the fear of what happened might be happening again. But as you opened your eyes and saw that you were in Jensen’s bedroom, you took a deep breath and let the safety of your surroundings make you feel better.

The nightmares were pretty constant, and sadly you knew that they wouldn’t go anywhere for awhile. Unfortunately, this was just something that you had to deal with for the rest of your life now.

Some people can so easily say “it was a long time ago” or “it’s in the past” and tell you “it’s time to get over it” or “move on” “stop letting it hold you back”. But only people who have survived something so terrible know that there is no moving on. There’s only, learn to live with it.

The door to the room let out a quiet ‘click’ as it opened, and you looked over to see Jensen slowly move into the room, a soft smile on his face when he saw that you were awake.

“Hey.” You try to smile back, but it’s hard for how much pain you were in. “Did I wake you?”

“No.” you lightly shake your head as you slowly push yourself up, propping yourself up against the pillows behind you. 

“I’m so sore.” you cry quietly and Jensen sees you wince as you try to get comfortable, and it kills him. But he continues to move towards the bed, placing the back of his hand against your forehead when he knows you’re done moving.

“Your fevers gone.”

“For now.” He smiles sadly as he takes a seat at the edge of the bed, giving you enough space to move if you need to. But as you both sit there in silence, you recognize the defeated look on his face, even though he’s clearly trying to hide it from you.

“You okay?” you finally ask him, the sleep still evident in your voice. He glances in your direction, his lip twitching as it tries to smile, but fails.

“How can you ask me that?” Taking it personally, you physically feel the blow before you let out a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry.” Jensen’s eyes then snap to you, but you don’t notice right away for your gaze is down in the sheets.

“What? What for?”

“I should have listened to you. I should have left him sooner.” He remains silent, cause let’s be honest, he can’t disagree with that last sentence. But as you start to become emotional and he hears the quiet sobs building up, he shifts so that he’s facing you a little more.

“I didn’t think that he would do that to me.” The deep inhale was like a knife to his gut. It killed him to see you like this. It killed him to know what had happened to you. It killed him to know that he couldn’t save you when you needed him most. Everything about this, killed him.

“Me neither.” As your teary eyes lift to meet his, the dam breaks. You heave out a breath of air and then fall into him, and he quickly wraps his arms around you and holds you tight.

It was the truth. He knew Randy was a five star dick, but he honestly didn’t think he would do something like that to you.

To get a little more comfortable, Jensen climbed up into the bed with you, trying his best not to shift you too much as he takes your spot against the headboard. He practically pulls you into his lap as you curl yourself into his arms and cry into his chest.

He shushes you quietly as he lightly rocks you back and forth, his right hand running over your hair as he tried everything in his power to bring you comfort, and he just let you break.

You probably cried for a good twenty minutes or more, he’s not sure. But even as you start to calm, he doesn’t move or make any indication that you should. He just holds you and waits for you to make the first move.

After a few moments though, he hears a weird noise come from you. Almost like you may get sick, so that makes him pull away slightly and look down at you with concern.

“You okay?” You barely give him a nod before you pull away even more.

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You sit up even more now, being completely free from his grasp so you can wipe away the wet trails left behind from your tears. Jensen only sits there, feeling completely helpless as he can’t do anything to help you. All he can do is be there for you, hold you and let you know that he’s not going anywhere; and as that is a lot to you, it feels like nothing to him.

“You want to try and eat something?”

“I don’t know.” you croak, still wiping away the invisible tears from your face.

“I can make you some toast.” You slowly nod before finally pulling your hands away from your face. Your eyes are red and puffy and all he wants to do is kiss away your tears.

“Okay.” you agree to the food choice and Jensen slides off the bed, but then pauses before moving too far.

“You want help out into the other room?”

“No.” you wave him off and he knows he’s probably annoying you with the constant help. It’s just that he’s almost afraid to leave you alone. “I’ll be alright. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Okay.” Even with your confidence, he hesitates. But eventually he steps out of the room, leaving the door open as he heads to the kitchen to pop a slice of bread in the toaster.

It isn’t until after the bread pops up, nice and golden brown and he’s spreading a little peanut butter over one side that you slowly shuffle into the room, your hands gripping tight onto one of the barstools before you can successfully pull yourself up.

“I feel like I have the flu.”

“Pretty close.” Sliding the napkin over to you, he watches as you eye the single piece of toast, and for the first time since you’ve been there, you didn’t seem to turn your head away in disgust or gag the second it came within inches of you.

“Try to take a bite or two when you can.” his fingertips tap the countertop before he moves around it and starts for the hall.

“Where are you going?” you ask with a hint of panic in your voice, so Jensen stops in his movements and looks back at you.

“I’m just goin to the bathroom.” he can physically see you relax, and it’s then that he can smile a little bit. Maybe you didn’t feel like he was suffocating you. Maybe you wanted him around you more than he thought.

“I’ll be right back. Promise.”

Forever Babes:

@dnnwnchstr22​ @ricanqueen20​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @in-deans-arms​ @sandlee44​ @hobby27​ @catching-up-with-kayla​ @chances-and-miracles​ @superfanficnatural​ @thatmotleygirl​ @sleep-i-ness​ @beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep​ @amandamdiehl​ @coldmuffinbanditshoe​ @deanwanddamons​ @winchest09​ @deangirl93​ @that-one-gay-girl​ @borikenlove​ @foreverlonelyforhim​

Dean/Jensen Lovers:

@deans-baby-momma​ @backseat-of-deans-67chevy​ @michellethetvaddict​  @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @starsandmidnightblue​ @lyarr24​ @torn-and-frayed​ @jensengirl83​ @idksupernatural​ @akshi8278​ @iamabeautifulperson18​ @tatted-trina6​ @thoughts-and-funnies​ @brilovesdeanwinchester​ @sexyvixen7​ @onceuponathreetwoone​ @cpag7​

His Mess Lovers:

You heard Jensen’s key in the lock right on schedule. He always hurried home as soon as he could. Your relationship was still new, and you couldn’t get enough of each other. He smiled as soon as he saw you, closed the door, and crossed your tiny living room to join you on the sofa.

As he sat down, you held out his cup of coffee. He took it from you, letting his fingertips brush over yours as he did. “How was it today?” You started to massage his shoulders, working out the stress induced kinks there while you waited for his answer.

Jensen relaxed under your touch. “Three screamers, two criers, and one runner,” he answered, rolling his neck and making a contented sound. It was working; he was feeling better and letting the tension of the day fall away. 

You stopped massaging and let your hands rest on his shoulders. “I’m sorry, babe.” Jensen considered photography an art, his chosen artform; but it was hard to make a living as an artist. Until he was able to do that, he made a living in the much more lucrative world of family photography; and the holidays were the busiest time of year in that line of work. It seemed nearly every parent in the city decided it was necessary to dress their kids up in red velvet and have professional photographs made.

You could understand why they would want to do that, much better now. Absentmindedly, you ran your hand over your stomach. Jensen never said much about the kids he took pictures of, except how much he hated it. They wouldn’t sit still, wouldn’t smile, and the worst was when siblings started fighting. That could really “fuck up a schedule,” and the frequent result was an unhappy client with some expensive pictures of red faced kids.

It made what you needed to tell him that much harder. This pregnancy wasn’t planned, instead it was the result of a night of too many tequila shots that made the two of you careless, but from the first moment the doctor had verified there was a baby growing inside you; you’d loved your child. It was an instant and all consuming love. Problem was, you had no idea how Jensen felt about being a parent or how he was going to react.

The only time you’d ever talked about children was when he told you about the kids he worked with, and those conversations weren’t favorable. Maybe it’d be better to give him a chance to shower and change clothes. You could feed him and then tell him. 

Several minutes later, Jensen was wearing his favorite henley and a pair of jeans. You were putting the last of the dishes on the table as he walked up behind you and circled his hands around your waist. He kissed the side of your neck, then raised his head and scanned the table. “You outdid yourself tonight, babe.”

Jensen sat down and took another look at the spread in front of him. All his favorites were there. “When did you find time to do all this? Didn’t you have two auditions today?”

You hadn’t expected the conversation to take this kind of turn. Lying to him wasn’t an option. You just weren’t going to do that, but you had been hoping for more time to lead up to what you were going to say. Your finger played with the edge of your plate. “I did, but I cancelled them.” The roles you had planned on auditioning for weren’t for pregnant women.

Jensen stopped spooning potatoes onto his plate. “What is it, baby? Are you feeling okay?” Normally, nothing would cause you to miss an audition. Your desire to be an actress had been similarly as strong as Jensen’s was to make art through his photography. 

You moved your finger from your plate, opting to fiddle with the napkin on your lap instead. You smiled weakly at him. “I’m fine, Jensen. It’s just those parts aren’t right for me.” 

“What changed your mind, sweetheart? You were so excited about those auditions.” He looked down at your almost empty plate; morning sickness had started to set in. “Are you sick, Y/N?”

You paused for a second. “No, Jensen. I’m not sick.” Why was it so hard to say this? So many thoughts were swirling through your head. He had plans for his career, and you’d had plans for a career as well. Finding out you were going to be a mother immediately changed that for you, and you were happy to change your way of thinking. Visions of baby booties were now dancing through your head, and you were mentally making plans of how you wanted your baby’s nursery to look. 

Jensen’s eyes reflected the various colors of green like a prism, and those beautiful eyes now filled with concern. It was time to tell him the truth. “Jensen, I…” You stopped, took a breath, and tried again. “I know we haven’t talked about this, and I wasn’t trying. Jensen, I wasn’t. I promise I wasn’t.” Tears started to roll down your cheeks. 

He got up, walked around the table, and kneeled beside you. “Y/N, honey, what’s wrong? What are you talking about? Talk to me.” He reached for your hand and took it into his. 

You loved Jensen’s hands. They were broad and strong. Whenever he touched you, held you, it never failed to make you feel cherished and safe. This time was no different. 

With his other hand, Jensen reached up and brushed your cheek with his knuckles. He wiped away your tears as he did, and the words bubbled up past the knot in your throat. “Jensen, I’m pregnant.”

It took a couple of seconds for recognition to register in his mind. “A baby?” His eyes fell to your stomach, and his hand started to move toward it before he stopped it in mid air. Jensen looked to you, a softness now filling his eyes. “Can I?”

You took his hand and led it to your belly. “Of course you can.” 

His hand was warm, and even though he couldn’t feel anything at this point, Jensen’s eyes grew a little wider. “We’re having a baby?”

You didn’t let go of his hand, and Jensen made no effort to move it. You focused on his hand beneath yours and drew strength from it. “I want this baby, Jensen. I know you have so many plans, and this wasn’t one of them.”

The strength you had been feeling just a few moments earlier ebbed and faded away. You felt a fresh wave of emotions wash through you, and the tears started to flow again. “I don’t want to ruin your life and mess up everything you wanted. I’m sorry.”

Jensen wiped away more of your tears, but they were coming almost faster than he could brush them from your face. “Sweetheart, it’s okay. I want this baby too. This is incredible, Y/N.” He took you into his arms. It felt safe; he made you feel wanted, you and the baby. Or, was that just all in your mind because it was what you wanted to believe? Jensen stroked your hair for several minutes; not saying anything, just repeating the soothing motion of his hand over your hair.

Your tears turned into full blown sobs; the pregnancy hormones were already reeking havoc with your body. “You don’t like kids. You never said you wanted any.”

You were starting to sniffle and trying so hard to stop crying. You’d done this to yourself. You took the napkin Jensen handed you and tried to daintily blow your nose.

“Y/N, sweetheart, why do you think I don’t like kids?” One of his hands was resting on your knee and the other was cupping your cheek.

“B...because they stress you out so much. You come home from work tense and miserable most days” You clutched the used napkin tightly in your hand. 

Your eyes were still filled with tears, blurring his handsome face, but you could hear him clearly. “I like kids, Y/N. It’s just those kids I work with are unhappy because they don’t want to be there. They don’t want to wear the fancy, itchy clothes, and they don’t want to sit still. They want to run and play and laugh. Just be kids. I don’t want to be there either. Photography is art to me, not taking glorified snapshots. I want to take pictures that will hang in galleries, maybe even a museum one day.” 

His eyes focused on yours, and his voice grew gentle. “It doesn’t mean I don’t like kids. It means I’m frustrated with where my career is right now.” He smiled at you, and his eyes took on that reflective dreamy quality that had shown you the depths of this man and made you fall in love with him. “I knew I wanted to have kids with you almost immediately. I’ve never known a kinder person.You are going to be the most amazing mother. Our baby is the luckiest kid in the world. You’ll teach our baby to be a good person just like you.”

 He touched his lips to yours, kissing you in a way that was clearly beyond chaste, but it didn’t seek anything more than what you gave him in that kiss. When he pulled away, the glimmer of a tear was shining in his eye too. 

“I’ve got an idea,” he said excitedly as he stood. He came back with his camera in his hand. “Will you let me take your picture?”

“Jensen, I’m a mess.” You smoothed your hands over your hair, but that wasn’t going to help your tear stained face. 

“I’ll focus on your stomach this time.” He leaned in to kiss you again. “I want to capture every part of how beautiful you are through this whole process.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Next December

It was the most festive and happiest of nights. One year ago, on this very day, you’d told Jensen you were pregnant. Now, you were holding your precious little daughter in your arms at her daddy’s first gallery opening. You watched him across the room, networking, making the contacts he would need to ensure he was never stuck in a job ever again that didn’t bring him happiness.

Jensen left the group he was talking with, walked over to you, and took Leigh from you. The way he smiled at her was like nothing you’d ever seen. “How’s daddy’s little angel?” He turned his attention to you, kissing your cheek. “Mommy looks gorgeous.”

You lowered your head. “Jensen.” He was making you blush like a schoolgirl, or maybe it was the pictures of you all over the room in various stages of your pregnancy. He had named the collection “The Blossoming of a Mother”. If you didn’t know you were the subject of those photographs, didn’t remember posing for him while he took them, or the way he’d made love to you after every single one of those photo sessions; you’d never believe they were pictures of you. You’d never known you could look like that. 

Jensen held Leigh in the bend of his arm, took your hand, and led you to one of the photographs. You were dressed only in a blush pink silk sheet that was billowing around you, one of your hands cradling your round stomach and the other on your breast. Jensen leaned in and whispered so only you would hear, “I’m keeping that one.”

You also lowered your voice to a whisper. “How do you feel about pictures of me being on other people’s walls, being in places where anyone can see them?” It wasn’t the first time you’d talked about it, but you wanted to hear him say it again. “It doesn’t bother me because I know they’re never going to see you the way I do, never hear those beautiful sounds you make when we’re together.”

You were blushing again. “Jensen, stop.”

He smiled at you with that sexy flirtiness he possessed glinting in his eyes. “I promise that’s not what you’ll be saying later tonight.”

You watched him turn and walk back across the room to a group of potential clients. He could certainly fill out a pair of dress pants. If you weren’t careful, Leigh would have a little brother or sister soon. A smile crossed your face as you observed him showing off his daughter to the gathered crowd of people, proving to you that she was an even bigger dream for him than his art. 

Everything: @gambitwinchester @princessmisery666 @onethirstyunicorn @peridottea91 @logical-princey @emilyshurley @beenlovingromansincedayoneish @fangirlxwritesx67 @waywardbaby @atc74 @shaniquacynthia @mariekoukie6661 @tumbler-tidbits @67-chevy-baby @fandom-princess-forevermore @terrarium-jpeg @emoryhemsworth @crashdevlin @heycasbutt @jules-1999 @mrsdeannafuckingwinchester @cosicas-cuquis @sammyimpala-67 @queenoftheunderdark @dean-winchesters-bacon @mrs-meghan-winchester @timelordy-fangirl2 @sweetness47 @hobby27 @awesomesusiebstuff @kickingitwithkirk @sandlee44 @supernaturalgrandma @lonewolf471 @dawnie1988 @volleyballer519 @outcastedangel @kdfrqqg @lizette50 @sorenmarie87 @winchesterxfamilybusiness