#jeleste

I made a theme for my OC Jeleste

More art (undescribed) and her profile:

She's standing in the phone booth.

Street lights burn overhead, giving light, but no heat. The world is empty, save for her. The snow on the ground provides a cushion of silence pressing in around her. Her breaths are slow. Deep. Made with effort. The vapor in her breath condenses and clouds spill out with the air.

God, she could go for a cigarette.

She's standing in the phone booth.

Staring at the phone on the hook, left hand clutching her shoulder. It's too cold to shiver any more. She can't feel much but the stinging between her fingers. Her right hand clutches several silver coins, retrieved from trash cans, vending machines, bodies...she would've reached into the fountain for them, but the surface was frozen solid.

It didn't matter anymore. She found what she needed.

...Now she had to make a call.

She's standing in the phone booth.

She's been standing here for 5 minutes.

She blinks slowly. Raises her right hand. Grasps the handset by the receiver, and pulls it off the hook. She stops.

The voice on the phone tells her to insert her money. Tells her again how long it is for how much money. She places it back on the hook.

Picks it back up. Stops. Puts it down.

The blood is warm, and wet, and makes a small sound as it drips from her leg down to the floor. For a moment, Juno quietly wonders if she's pissed herself. After a moment, she recollects where she is--phone booth--what she needs--help--and why.

...She picks up the handset by the receiver, presses it against her left shoulder, and mashes the stack of silver into the coin slot.

Mindlessly, her fingers start to dial the first number that she thinks of, and she waits.

Her breath is a heavy weight that keeps building up in her chest, and she has to keep pushing it out in clouds of steam. For some odd reason, she's not afraid. Not anymore.

It feels like she's right where she needs to be.

A groggy voice mumbles a "...hello?" and Juno's mouth opens.

...She always answered her phone. One day while they were walking, she'd shown her a number and said "I keep getting these scam calls." before answering it and carrying on a perfectly normal conversation, before abruptly hanging up. "They realize the call dropped, but since they thought they had me going, they try to call back-" as if on cue, her phone rang again--her ringtone was some little poppy sounding chiptune song that she didn't know the name of--and she waited a moment before answering it. She said something about her connection being bad, she was trying to find service, and-

"Hello?"

"...It's me."

...That was her voice?

"...Juno?" "Yeah."

She could hear her shuffling around in bed, sitting up. She imagined her eyes widening, her hand coming up to brush hair out of her face, heard the lick of her lips.

The first time they'd kissed, it had been-

"Hey! Gosh, I wasn't-this isn't your normal number, so I didn't think-"

They exchanged numbers at some point after learning they lived on the same floor. It wasn't something she'd thought about until that moment--there was something or other that happened, and Celeste said something about not being sure how to reach her, so she'd turned and recited her number without even thinking about it. It was spontaneous. Celeste always seemed to like it when she was spontaneous. She hadn't saved her name under the contact, but her number was in-

"...Why'd you call? And-" she yawned, and Juno envisioned the hand over her mouth. "-so late, I-..."

Juno was quiet, trying to listen for the sound of her breathing. Unbeknownst to her, Celeste did the same--not that she had to try.

"...What's wrong?"

The words cut through the fog, and Juno forces her lips to move.

"...Lost my phone. Called you from a payphone. Don't..." She takes a deep breath, shutting her eyes. "...I lost the charm you gave me, too."

It wasn't anything big, but then again, maybe that was the point. Celeste had randomly asked her when her birthday was. It was October, so September 20th had passed without much incident. She looked deflated--cute--but quickly perked back up and said a belated happy birthday, before pressing a small box into her hand. It looked hand wrapped. (...and not very well.) "Open it!" Her

"Okay. Okay. Where-um...where are you right now?" She sounded tired.

fingers plucked at the little ribbon she'd tied around it, and she yanked the tape up without much hassle. Opening the box, she found a cute little keychain inside--something from one of those little gachapon type machines that seemed to be lining up around more and more buildings nearby.

Juno's eyes open and she sees one far out in front of her. Lightheaded.

"...I don't know."

She stares down at the little dog done up in pastel colors, and pulls it up by the chain. Dangling between two fingers, she

"What? You-!? Do you...do you see anything nearby that-?" she can see her licking her lips again; she always did that when she was nervous. She didn't mean to make her nervous. She didn't...

"I'm sorry." Her voice broke.

turned to Celeste, seeing her dangling a similar little charm between her fingers. "We'll match, see? I got brown, like my hair, and you have black, like yours." She seemed very pleased with herself. Juno smirked.

Celeste looked at her like her head had been chopped off.

"...'m sorry. 'm so sorry. I lost-"

She'd gone out of her way to give it to her. She hadn't been given a gift in so long. Everything came with a price, to her. Everything.

But not this. Not from her.

It was small, but it meant everything.

"Juno, it's okay, listen to me, it's-Don't hang up. Hey. Don't hang up. Juno? We can figure this-Juno. Say something. Hello?"

"I ruined...everything." "Juno? Can you hear me? Juno?" "I don't know anymore." "Juno, do not hang up this phone, I swear to God-I-" "I'm-" she hits the glass, swaying, trying to stay upright. "I don't know where I am. I don't know what's going to happen. I just need someone." Her hand drifts down from her ear, but she still hears Celeste's voice rise to screaming.

It seemed to her like the street lights had dimmed. It felt like everything was surrounded by a shroud of darkness, baying just at the edges of the light shining down. She can't see the stars, but there are snowflakes falling from above, and she thinks it looks like it, maybe.

She falls to her knees, and hears more screaming from Celeste. The cord from the phone pulls hard against her hand, and it's all she can do to avoid letting go of it.

Her eyes are getting heavy. Everything's getting heavy, now that she thinks about it, and even the shudder that follows feels sluggish.

...Dimly, something occurs to her about the building in front of her, and she fights everything to pull the phone up to her ear again.

"...Celeste." "JUNO? Juno. Juno, listen to me. Stay with me. Stay on the line, okay? We're going to figure this out. Don't hang up, okay? We're gonna-" "I-" She stopped, and Juno can see her face, listening intently. "...I'm sorry." "I know. I know. It's okay. I just need you to-" "I think I see...I think I'm outside of P.J-" abruptly, like a knee to the stomach, the open air on Celeste's end is closed, a prerecorded voice squawking in her ear about her being out of time.

...She slumps down, letting the phone slip from her hand, hanging limply off the hook.

...

The glass gives slightly as her fist slams into it, leaving long cracks along its surface from the point of impact.

It didn't matter anymore.

Maybe it never did.

~~~

The first thing she notices as she wakes is the tap dripping.

She'd left it on. Somebody had, anyway.

She stirs, and she only has a brief moment to breathe before someone very warm and very tight wraps their arms around her. She is in a dimly lit space that she understands as Celeste's apartment. There are bandages wrapped around her right arm, and she's...it's all lost in a feverish haze, and Juno shakes her head in an effort to clear it up.

She still feels heavy. In fact, in the warmth of Celeste's room, it was incredibly hard to move. Even ignoring the additional weight on top of her right now...

It feels like she's in a dream. In fact, from what she remembered, she's not convinced she isn't. She breathes, evenly, in, and out, and feels the dryness in her throat. Swallows. She closes her eyes again, melting in Celeste's embrace.

She has handfuls of the covers bunched up in her hands, and Juno sees her lip trembling as she mutters "Don't...do that."

juno's step is heavy, and her body feels heavier.

her left arm hangs limply as she steadies herself against a nearby wall, breaths coming slow and with effort. her heartbeat pulses in her skull, sapping what little strength remains in her limbs, making each movement shaky as she continues to pull herself forward; shuffling, slow steps, driven onward by nothing but a constant urge in her head to keep moving. somewhere that wasn't here.

the street lamps' light seared into her skin, her shadow staining the walls behind her; she'd been resting here too long. she'd nearly fallen asleep on her feet...it was unusual. she didn't like it, but that didn't matter right now--she couldn't be out here like this. it would be easier to reassess the situation and better to rest up somewhere safe. she feels light-headed...

she inhales sharply, clenching her fists to crack her knuckles. she just needs to make it back.

something catches in her throat with that breath, she stops and starts coughing; a loud, hacking cough that stirs up enough phlegm to spit; the violent feeling ripping long ridges of fire along the edges of her throat. she's finally able to breathe, blinking back tears. that was new. well, the coughing wasn't, not really anyway, but her throat...she swallowed, squinting her eyes slightly at the sharp feeling as it went down.

great. wonderful. perfect. just what she needs.

she pops her left shoulder, feeling an old bruise cry out against the movement, before rubbing her temples with her right hand.

...home. she needed to get home.

she's able to push herself unsteadily from the wall, straightening herself.

tonight could've gone better.

she was definitely going to be bruised up--she got lucky with the knife, but it was too many to take at once. not here. not alone.

she's still feeling sluggish. she's felt sluggish since she set out, actually. that cough's been making it hard to focus tonight, and after that fight...

a drop of water hitting her head tells her she should probably get moving.

she's able to bring her legs back under control, maintaining the steady, even gait that she's used to. she's careful about her breathing, doing her best to avoid coughing--but inevitably, again, something shifts, her breath catches, and much as she tries to stifle it, she eventually gives in, taking a much larger breath and tearing wholly new agony into her throat. maybe it was a bit more than she was used to. it was certainly more frequent, though she'd just blamed that on the air tonight.

though with her throat in the state it was, she had to acknowledge the possibility that she was getting sick.

she grinds her teeth, annoyed.

perfect.

it starts as drizzle. juno looks up as she walks, pushing hair from her face, looking up into the clouds. she should've brought her umbrella.

then it's rain. juno sighs, picking up the pace. it seemed inevitable, given the distance, that she'd need to change. it was a hassle, but walking around in soaking wet clothes was too distracting, and unlikely to make her current state better. maybe a shower...

then it's sheet after sheet of water pelting down against her head, and she's stumbling into a run, quick as she can manage. everything seemed to be piling up tonight specifically to piss her off. step after splashing step, through puddles, across wet concrete, shoving past the odd passerby doing the same, breaths coming quick and cold.

finally reaching the entrance to her apartment building, juno stopped underneath the awning, catching her breath--which, as she noticed, was becoming increasingly difficult. her legs shook, dimly throbbing with the pain of exertion, scarcely able to raise off the concrete.

she stood, panting, coughing, hacking, spitting, steadying herself against the door as her lungs fought to inflate to full size.

she'd really underestimated how much smoking had taken its toll on her body, huh...

no, this was something else. it had to be. this took too much out of her. she misjudged what her body was able to handle. finally raising her head to the door, a sudden dizzy spell kept her from standing straighter. she grunted, leaning up on the door.

her clothes were stuck to her skin. her hair was weighed down and stuck in odd directions, and she was dripping. the hectic sound of rain falling harder and harder around her drowned out any other sound but her own breathing.

it was freezing suddenly, and juno fought to keep from shivering as a wind blew past her. her nose was running from the cold, and she sniffed, rubbing her gloved knuckle against it.

she shook her head to clear the fog, ignoring a dull pounding that got worse as she did so.

she had to be getting sick.

that didn't matter. she was here. she just needed to...she broke off in her thoughts, coughing again.

she needed to get to her apartment. she needed to get home...to her bed. she needed to get some sleep.

entering the front, she was struck by the filtered, cool air--and immediately shuddered, despite an attempt to stiffen her shoulders. it didn't matter, she just needed to get to her room.

ignoring the greeting from the front desk, she began the last leg of her journey, each step squeaking against the floor and increasing the growing ache in her head. each shuffling movement of her legs threatened to send her off balance. evidently, the scowl on her face was enough to staunch any further attempts at conversation from the staff, which she was grateful for. nice as this girl was, juno didn't have the time or energy for it.

each step felt higher than the last, but juno forced her feet into as dispassionate a rhythm as she could manage as she climbed the staircase. fighting the shivering now was a lost cause, and her body freely shook with each step. she did, however, tighten her jaw, fighting to keep her teeth from chattering, ignoring how uncomfortable that felt. it helped to keep her focused, and that was enough.

just a few more steps...

as soon as she reaches her floor, she presses stubbornly forward, without giving herself a chance to breathe.

just gotta...get to the door.

every step, her whole body felt heavier and heavier. each movement took longer, and it felt like the path in front of her was extending to infinity. just keep moving forward.

keep walking. you're nearly home.

right hand pressed to the wall, her left dangling limp at her side, she approaches--her eyes suddenly shut, her feet slow, her head bobs up--damnit--as her mouth slowly edges open to show her grit teeth- "-nESHhiew!" -the sneeze is followed by the most intolerable coughing fit yet, sapping what little vitality remains in her body.

a moan escapes from her; her teeth chatter with reckless abandon as she crawls her feet forward underwater, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, her apartment just a few steps--seeming increasingly farther away by the second, as finally...

she does not slip on the rain water pooling beneath her, but she does fall.

her breaths come heavy and hot against her chest, and she tries to force herself back up on her left hand, but she can't draw up enough strength even to lift her chest.

damnit...

she coughs weakly on the floor, feeling darkness closing in around her.

...no, don't...don't fall unconscious...get up...get UP!

she's muttering something indistinct to herself, increasingly agitated, but her body isn't moving.

well, besides shivering, and the rise and fall of her chest as she continued to breathe.

that's the state celeste finds her in, and the sound of her door hitting the wall as she flung it open rang out through the ocean in juno's head.

celeste stared steadily down at her face, her hands clasped together and pressing down into her lap.

she stopped shivering a while before she'd even gotten her under the covers. at first, she panicked, but slowly she realized that it likely came down to how warm her apartment was. maybe she wasn't completely unconscious when she found her? she did think she'd heard her mumbling.

that didn't matter right now. what mattered was that she was breathing, but she still wasn't waking up.

she pulled out a few towels to try and dry her skin, only to realize that it wasn't all rainwater soaking her body (although it was likely the majority of it...)

she unstuck a slick lock of hair from her face, feeling fever radiating off from her forehead as she did so.

it had been a few hours. celeste was getting ready for bed when she'd heard the noise, but the second she saw her on the floor, she knew she'd be awake for at least the next few hours. which, as it turned out, juno wouldn't be joining her for. she'd tossed her clothes into the laundry and wrapped her up in a few layers of blankets.

at this point, there wasn't anything to do but wait.

she lamented this fact, but it remained.

it was always the worst part.

she laid back, rubbing her eyes. she had no idea what to make of her right now. whatever had happened. she'd seen juno vulnerable before, but this was a bit much.

she'd never collapsed outside her front door before. that was new. truly unique. she'd outdone herself.

bruised. soaking wet. burning up.

whatever happened, it seemed like she'd been at the end of her rope. she was glad she'd made it home in one piece.

she didn't want to think about what would have happened otherwise.

in fact, she didn't want to think about much of anything right now, other than her waking up. it was too exhausting to deal with all of the thoughts swirling in her head. she wasn't sure she'd ever get to sleep at this rate...

juno stirred quietly, struggling to get her eyes open past a squint. it felt like gravity itself had increased its hold on her...there was something covering her whole body, warm and heavy, and it made the sleepy feeling harder to fight...

everything appeared to her in a haze, all her senses like jelly. her vision was swimming and distorted through her half open eyelids, her skin was slick with sweat and her arm was asleep, there was this odd ringing in her ears that made her head ache...she didn't just feel sluggish; it felt like her entire body was resisting her trying to move. not that she wanted to, but she was awake...she was pretty sure. was this a dream? her whole body was so warm...when did she fall asleep...? where was she...? the only light beside her seemed to be a candle, and the darkness surrounding her made it a lot harder to tell.

confusion turned to comfort as a familiar face pressed forward through the fog, and suddenly she felt her anxieties wane. celeste was asleep with her hand propping up her head. she was...adorable as always.

wait, why was she here, though? where was here?

"...ugh." it was more of a sigh than a groan. despite that, she was still surprised by the sound of her own voice. her throat was killing her, and her nose was completely stuffed. god forbid she had to talk. everything ached, and moving just made that fact more apparent. the heating unit kicked on, and after a moment, she processed the continuing rain overhead.

what time was it?

what was she doing here?

...what happened?

she's soaked in sweat, but she doesn't feel like moving at all. the heat was overwhelming, uncomfortable, but it made it so much easier to just close her eyes again, and...there's a sharper, more active part of her brain trying to work her way through this, and there's another that's restraining it, trying to walk it back into unconsciousness. she wants to listen. nothing about that matters right now, she just wants to sleep...

she doesn't think she's in any immediate danger...a brief flash of panic hits her as she reaches for her gun, now missing, and it's enough to convince her she needs to get up, as difficult as it is. she squirms under the covers, trying to wriggle herself out of them, fighting against her body as much as she is the wrapping. what her body fails to do, her voice makes up for in congested sounds of frustration.

"wh...?" juno paused, watching as celeste began to stir herself. "oh...oh! oh, you're-!" she felt moisture on her cheek, and bashfully wiped the drool off her face.

"...sorry." juno croaked, and they both winced. "didn't...mean to wake you." "don't worry about it. i was barely even sleeping; i was too worried about you. i'm...not even tired." she did her best to stifle the yawn that followed, and thankfully it didn't seem like juno noticed it. at least, that was what she guessed by the blank expression on her face. "how are you feeling?"

she turned blearily, opening her mouth just enough to show her teeth as she took stock of herself. "...awful." that much she couldn't deny. her head didn't hurt as much, but with every breath she could feel the bruises on her ribs, the dryness of her throat, the sweat soaking her body. it felt like she could hardly raise her hand to scratch her neck.

"yeah, you're...you've got a fever." great. "..."

juno broke the silence with a coughing fit, and celeste stumbled over to rub her back as it picked up steam. even, easy circles, brushing against her spine, her ribs, both shoulder blades, as her whole chest swelled and strained against itself, ejecting more and more spittle and pressurized air.

when it was over, she remained stooped as she had been, doubled over against her stomach, breathing unevenly, but steadily. her eyes remained shut, and celeste continued the gentle motion of her hand.

oh, juno...

that took more out of her than she thought. she felt tears drop from her cheeks, the fog surrounding her head clearing just enough to pull away from her touch. "don't-" she didn't finish the thought, but celeste's hand cringed back anyway. "..." the touch had twisted her heart, but that response stabbed into it. she sighed, frustrated.

here again. unable to do anything. chewed up and slammed against the wall, the agony of being awake mingling with a persistent guilt strangling her heart. ordinarily, she would've left by now.

she turned to one side, and realized her arms were free of the covers.

she pulled them aside, showing off a mess of fresh bruises blossoming along her side. celeste sucked in a breath, and juno dropped them again. "your clothes were soaked through. i...put them in the wash a while ago, so they'll be ready soon." thunder rumbled beneath them, and celeste cleared her throat. "you don't need to worry about anything right now. just..." she paused, trying to gauge some kind of reaction from her. "...try to get some sleep."

they were both quiet for a while. juno wasn't moving.

...surely she wasn't asleep already? in that position?

just as she was about to stand up, juno's hoarse voice cut through the silence. "you hate me, don't you?"

celeste choked on her words, every sound caught in her throat. ice water splashed against her skin. "i...you do, don't you?" turned to one side, it was impossible to see her expression, but her voice was shaking.

"you're such a kind person, and i'm just..." she drifts off, lying down again.

"you should have left me in the hallway."

you should've just let me die.

"it would've been easier for you." i'm sorry.

"all i do is make you worry." all i ever do is put you in danger. "all i ever do is take, and take, and ask more and more of you," all i ever do is burden you, "without giving anything back." all i ever do is hurt you. "again, and again, and again."

"i try to make you leave," i try to get away from you, "but you won't." but i can't.

celeste's panic waned, transforming into a heavy weight in her chest, instead. juno turned, her eyes shut tightly. she felt like she was sinking lower and lower into the bed. her heart is pounding, and it's the only noise she can hear.

"i don't know if you want to fix me, or what, but i can't change. i never will." her voice breaks.

i don't know any other way to be.

"i'm sorry." you should've let me die.

maybe then you could be happy.

"..."

their faces meet, and juno's face is covered in a blanket of brown hair and freckles.

celeste feels her fever against her cheek, her forehead, her neck, presses her hand into juno's, feels her heartbeat thumping in her fingers, and breathes deeply, smelling a scent she's grown accustomed to over time.

one she's come to love.

"...don't say that. please." she whispered directly into her ear, and juno shuddered. "i don't hate you." "you do. you-" "no, i don't."

"...you should." i deserve it. "i don't. i brought you here because i love you, and want to take care of you."

juno didn't think she could sink lower, but she'd somehow managed it. even as celeste pulled her up from the bed into her arms. "i don't hate you. i couldn't ever hate you. i don't want to fix you. and i don't care about what's easier for me, i just want you to be okay."

she pressed her face deeper into juno's, wrapping her hands against her head. "...okay? i love you. i don't care what it costs me. i don't care if you hurt me. if it happens again, and again, and again, i'll come back every time. you don't have to do anything in return, because i'll love you all the same. i'm not going to leave you. i'm never going to leave you."

"you scare the shit out of me sometimes. there isn't a day that goes by that i'm not terrified that something's gonna happen to you. and if that happens, i don't know what i'll do."

she squeezes juno into a tighter hug, shutting her eyes. "...i don't know what my life would be without you." you're all i have.

...it's juno that breaks first. slowly, slowly her grip over herself softens, and her fists tighten. her breath catches, and her lips part into grit teeth as she whimpers against the brunette's neck. tears fall heavy and fast, and it isnt long before she's weeping unrestrained within her embrace. one of her gasping breaths transforms into a coughing fit, and celeste is rubbing her back again, and she's sobbing and coughing and her nose goes from blocked to running again. celeste fights to keep herself composed in turn, but it's a losing battle, and she knows it.

I've been wanting to do a collab like one I saw on DeviantArt years ago (I couldn't even find the original template), and now I got to organize and participate in one! (although slightly modified) thank you @brionnechu and @naycelium for being a part of this collab :>

They're walking side by side, talking about something she isn't going to remember. She's staring at her lips with a dull smile. She says something, and it makes her snicker. Her breath is visible in the streetlights, and she can't help but think about how hot and wet it must feel. She grins.

Dread closes in around her.

Her chest tightens. Her vision narrows. Nausea pulls at her insides, and she feels saliva pooling in her mouth. She can't breathe. She's sweating, and her eyes dart to a corner she can't see past.

Something is coming.

Her skin is crawling, and she shudders.

She can't ignore it. She blinks, swallowing.

She tries her best to seem unbothered. She hasn't noticed it, so it can't be that bad. Her judgement was always better than hers.

...

Flicker. Swing. Aim. Flash. Smoke. Ricochet. Run.

Surprise. Fear.

Eyes widen. Heart flutters. Hands push.

Impact. Floor. Blood.

Not moving. Barely breathing. Something pulls on her shoulders, dragging her away.

Panic.

Waking up felt like her head being dunked underwater; sudden, clumsy, painful, stumbling around for purchase, struggling to inhale. Celeste bobbed forward in bed, groping for the bedside table beside her, sucking in a large breath, falling into consciousness, startled up by another repeat of that same image.

She tried to steady herself, placing a hand against her furiously pounding heart, taking another deep breath in...

Doing her best to gather her bearings, she peered towards the window, seeing the streetlight staring back through her curtains. It burned through only slightly, diffusing light over everything around her. The distant rumbling of thunder drew her attention to the patter of rain overhead. She could be thankful for that, at least. Rain always calmed her down.

She shut her eyes.

How many times this week had she had that same nightmare...?

Sometimes they were sitting in a cafe. Sometimes in a restaurant. Sometimes they were walking, sometimes running.

But it always ended the same. It all came back to-that image of Juno's collapsed body flickered in her head, then again for good measure. Each time it happened, her heart skipped a beat. Her stomach lurched, drip feeding her that exact same falling feeling all over again. The sound of the impact echoed in her head. She placed a hand against her temple, sighing. Trying to stop thinking about it just made it show up more insistently.

Ever since that day...she could never really get it off her mind.

The figure beside her suddenly drew in a deeper breath, reminding her that she wasn't alone in bed, and the subject of her anxieties was sleeping...surprisingly sound beside her, actually. That was good, at least. She was glad.

Peering down at her figure in the dark, she was able to drop a little bit of the tension in her shoulders.

It was nice that Juno was such a heavy sleeper. Not only did she not have to worry about her getting back to sleep after an episode like this, she didn't have to talk about it after, either.

She just needed to get back to sleep herself. Get her mind off it.

Ugh, there it was again-and again. Each time, it hit her like a punch to the jaw.

Keeping her eyes on Juno's peacefully sleeping face was enough to settle it for a few seconds. The rhythm of her breathing was much more steady, too. It was cold comfort, but comfort nonetheless. It both soothed the sick feeling in her stomach and gave her more than a little pleasure to see her so relaxed.

After everything she'd been through. After everything they'd been through. She couldn't help smiling.

...She didn't feel like going back to sleep yet. She needs to clear her head. Take a little walk, or something.

Something to make the worries tightening and tingling in her chest to shut up.

A glass of water was a good excuse.

Stepping into the cool, pure darkness outside their bedroom, groping around along the walls, she felt things start to lift themselves from her already. The air felt crisp, clean. With each step, her feet felt a little lighter; her hands felt a little more sure, and her head felt a little less muddled.

It felt nice to navigate a familiar space. It was always foreign territory in her dreams--something just close enough to what she knew to understand the scene, but just distant enough to keep her on edge. This was different. She could give herself something else to think about. Do something in the real world, instead of in her head. She didn't need to see anything, she just needed to be here.

...It was strange that she felt like she needed to take a break from being in bed. That probably wasn't normal. But it worked, so she wasn't going to address it right now. It was a problem for the morning, even though she'd either forget about it the next morning, or decide it wasn't important enough to address.

The moon peeked through the window over the sink, and Celeste met its gaze with a little wave. Good evening, Ms. Moon, do you come here often? Why yes, as a matter of fact, every night. I like to try slightly different outfits each time. As the glass filled, she took in a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds, before letting it all out slowly. A revitalized sense of calm washed over her, punctuated by her taking a quiet sip of water.

Yeah. This was nice. This was the life.

Sometimes, things just turn out okay. It just takes time.

As she stepped back into their bedroom, she took a moment to readjust her eyes, smiling again that Juno was still asleep. She'd shifted around in her sleep again, almost like she was looking for her. Her arms outstretched, her body bent inwards like she'd just tried to pull something towards her, or push something...

Lightning struck nearby, illuminating her sleeping body in white, and Celeste stiffened.

A cold wind blows across her back, and her breath freezes. She's... She feels light, and suddenly her balance is shifting to one foot, the entire world bending around the figure in front of her. Burned into her eyes. Burned into her brain. Her heart is pounding wildly in her ears. The glass is on the floor, tipped--she's on her knees, water seeps under her legs, and it stains her pajamas red, and it's cold, and it's so, so hot against her skin, and she's holding her hands as tight as she can around it, and she goes to scream for someone--ANYONE, but she still can't take in a breath, her diaphragm paralyzed and her lungs burning as she forces a breathy half-scream from her throat.

She won't wake up. Nobody's around to help, and she won't wake up. She's covered in blood, and it's cold, and hot, and red, and she's--she realizes after a second that the breathing somewhere far off beside her is actually coming from her lips, wheezing, hoarse breaths, in and out faster and faster, and the adrenaline is flooding through her bloodstream like ice water, she tightens her hands even further and she just won't stop bleeding, and, and

Her gritted teeth chatter as something else comes spilling down her cheeks. Her whole body is shaking. Her hands are tightly wound, and she can't bring herself to look down. Her breaths come out in short little whimpers, broken off sobs, and low moans she can't stop.

Panic pours over her fresh and frigid, scooping up handfuls of blood to try and put back into her ice cold skin, smooth and-and-she isn't breathing. She's not breathing. The more and more she tries to scoop, the more it slips through her fingers and spills all around her pants--and her voice is growing in volume, mumbling, babbling incoherently more to herself than anyone else that she's sorry, she fucked up, she doesn't know what to do and she doesn't want to lose her, and

Someone tucks their arms around her shoulders, trying to pull her back. She wrenches her shoulders one way and another, headbutting the bastard trying to pull her away in the chin, fighting to keep her hands around it, trying to shake off whatever's holding her, she can't just leave her, she needs her-the low "Hey." stops her, relaxing her grip. It shocks her, some distinct fragment of clarity flickering in her, letting Celeste more or less tumble backwards into their arms, hands still raised uselessly in the air, glassy eyes turned up towards the ceiling. She's shushing her, her warmth washing all around her from behind.

"I-I need to...I have to-sh-she isn't-!" She gasps in a breath, shaking her head as she whimpers out "It's all my fault..." followed by more and more apologies. Celeste covered her head with her hands, trying to hide herself away as much as she could into her shoulders. She continues shushing her, rocking her back and forth gently. As time went on, her apologies became more and more about what had just happened, rather than because of it, but the shushing continued all the same.

God, what had she done? What was wrong with her? What even...what even was that?

Slowly, she descends, more and more of the world around her coming back into focus. Her hands are stinging. Her cheeks are wet. There are two arms wrapped around her chest, and a face buried in her back.

She's...she's home. She's in her bedroom.

...It's cold. Her pants are wet. She's out of breath.

The arms are warm, and the face...the voice...

...Oh.

"I'm sorry." "...mmh." It feels like the hundredth time she's said it, and it still doesn't feel like enough. Juno hasn't said anything substantial since she's started dressing her hands, and it's driving Celeste crazy.

She'd cut herself pretty badly. The glass shattered on impact and she'd been holding it pretty tightly. There was...a lot of blood. Definitely more than she was used to, and once she'd come down, it hurt. A lot.

Juno was handling them as gingerly as she could manage, but she couldn't stop the wincing noises or the flinch whenever she touched it directly. Staring down half-lidded, tightly wrapping gauze, silently cleaning her mess up, Celeste felt like a cat that had just puked on the floor, leaving some unfortunate someone else to clean up after her.

Leaving Juno to clean up after her. Tears threatened the sides of her eyes again. Juno yawned.

The coming bruise on her chin was not helping things.

"...I...I don't know what happened. I just--I saw you, and the way you were laying there, it was just-" Juno tightened her fists unconsciously, and a tear fell from Celeste's eye as her whole face tightened into a grimace. "I d-" she swallowed, "I'm sorry."

Juno stopped, staring down at the two hands interlocked within hers.

She sighed through her nose, bringing them up to her face.

"Don't be. It's my fault."

"Wh-!?" Celeste gripped tighter, finally making eye contact. "No! I-I'm-" "It's just..." The two of them stared into each other's eyes for a while. "...It's exactly what I warned you about, isn't it?" Juno was smiling. Celeste was not.

"Dressing the wounds I caused...is only right, isn't it?"

"..."

Celeste pulled her into a hug. Juno blinked, staring down in surprise. She sighed again, wrapping an arm loosely around her shoulder. "Honestly..." Celeste's head was buried deep in her chest, and she started the rocking motion herself, this time. Juno leaned her head back, staring up to the ceiling. "...what are we gonna do with each other?" What are we gonna do without each other?

"...'m sorry."

"..."

She brought her other hand up to run fingers through her hair.

the taste of copper mingles with the warm feeling on the side of her head.

there's someone familiar screaming, she feels herself over-salivating as she struggles to push herself up on an arm that's not listening to her.

she's curled up and the side of her face feels wet. she smells potting soil, barely blinking awake to see pieces of ceramic in a pile in front of her.

the voice gets closer. it's whimpering now. she feels something pulling her up, and her body feels lighter--but her head feels heavy, and there's a spot that's burning. she tries to whisper something encouraging but she can only murmur. her lips are too thick for her words to get past.

the voice shushes her, and she feels the edges of her feet brushing against the ground.

"'s okay...everythin'..." she gives up part way through her words, sighing out a breath in frustration.

her heart leaps into her throat as her lagging mind finally catches that she's being carried, but all she can do is squirm in their grip.

"mmf-! cold..." are the sounds that stumble their way out of her mouth as soon as celeste starts to wash her arms. "i know. but i need to clean the cuts."

cuts...?

her vision's still blurry, and she doesn't like it at all. what she likes less is her difficulty keeping balance, feeling her head lolled to one side. the overwhelming nausea wasn't nice, either.

god, her head...

touching a finger to the corner confirmed what she thought, and she gasped as she made contact, huffing out one of her half-chuckles as soon as she looked at the blood on her finger.

"careful...!" she looked up and met celeste's eyes--the best as she could, given the circumstances. "..." she doesn't like it at all. not one bit.

celeste didn't like it anymore than she did, given her expression. juno's glazed over look made her purse her lips. "hold still." she pulled a little harder at her arm, and juno stumbled, finding herself looking at her bare forearm--slick with water and blood and pieces of broken ceramic.

...her jacket. where was her--?

she could see a vague black shape hanging from the door, which she figured was hers. she didn't really...

she couldn't really bring herself to care about that right now. everything hurt too much. she can feel that it goes further up, and she could feel a bit on her right arm, too...

blood dribbles down and drips from her chin. "...mmf." she pulls her arm out of celeste's hands, drawing a muddled protest until she starts pulling her shirt over her head.

celeste sucks in a breath. juno feels blithely around her arm, cursing as the pain twists with her touch. "...shower." is what she says after a moment. "...okay, but-" celeste jumps up as juno attempts to lift herself from the stool she'd gotten her onto, doing her best to pick her up and gently guide her towards the tub.

she'd need...they'd need to properly disinfect them, and wrap her up. but she needed to wash the blood off, first. this wasn't the most efficient way, but...well, the bleeding wasn't that bad, honestly, but her head--

"you--" celeste is talking, and her entire brain takes a moment to shift focus as she flops down into the tub. "do you...do you remember what happened?" juno is quiet for a moment. brief flashes of the last 6 hours appear in her head. her screaming. blood in her mouth. everything hurts. potting soil.

she shakes her head, before getting to work on her bra. "you fell, from--" suddenly there's two warm hands doing the motion for her, and she jumps, but feels it come loose. "from way too fucking high, and you, you--" there are two hands unbuckling her pants, sliding them down, and she shudders for a second at the pressure against her thigh. "--you hit your head on the side of the balcony going down, and then into the bushes, and you--" the water is cold again, and she's lying back against porcelain, feeling it spilling straight from the tap against her skin.

"you wouldn't--i-" she chokes out a sob, and juno finally realizes she's crying. there are hands rubbing against her shoulders, pulling larger pieces from her arms, washing the lacerations--really, not too deep. she got lucky.

and she clearly landed on her left shoulder, given the amount there vs her right. "i just--i couldn't--!" she feels her own hand pressing against celeste's before she realizes it, staring deeply into her eyes. "...i know."

she tenses up, shaking her head. "...alright, i need to--i'm doing your head next." she could still see tears falling from her chin, but didn't have the energy to press further. she let herself be pulled down, finally processing for the first time since she'd gotten in the tub that she was fully naked, and celeste was right here, staring down at her limp, pale body.

...well, she's no field medic, and the injury wasn't inflicted from the war, but given the circumstances, there was nothing to be ashamed of...she couldn't quite bring herself to care about this, either.

the water washing over her face was a soothing feeling, and she moved a hand to where she felt the wound, sucking in a breath as she touched it--only to feel a firm grip pushing her hands away.

"i can do this mys-" "shut up."

...that was sharper than she'd expected. her hands hung in the air for a moment, stunned, before she dropped them to her side.

her hands were always so delicate. that was one of the first things she'd noticed about celeste. it was something that immediately tipped her off that she wasn't native to this place, to this kind of crowd. there was something so gentle about the way she touched her--it made her feel like she had to be gentle back. like she was afraid to break her.

like she was made of porcelain.

celeste couldn't keep from looking in her eyes. those dark, tense, knowing eyes. that cutting stare from across the room, hot brown gaze, piercing straight through your skin. normally so active, animated, intense...

it seemed so dull in this room, in this light. she blinked slowly, tired, wandering.

her expression twisted and buckled in pain with each motion of her fingers, a reaction she wasn't used to seeing, much less this closely. a quiet moan escaped her lips as she let the water wash over it, and celeste bit her lip.

she ran her fingers along her brow, down her nose, across her lips, to her chin. down along her neck. that mole on the side...along her clavicle...stopping just short of her breasts.

juno was quiet again, just staring blearily up at her face.

the cuts weren't that deep. the impact was so much worse.

celeste did her best not to focus on the scars below it.

she didn't like this at all. not one bit.

...but it felt nice to have her head cradled in her arms.

and it felt nice to be cradled, juno realized.

"...you need to dry off before we can wrap these up." juno sighed. "and disinfect." "...and disinfect."