#jayson dc

Tim: AT LEAST I DONT STAB PEOPLE FOR HAVING A DIFFERENT FAVOURITE CEREAL

Damian: YEAH WELL FATHER SHOULD HAVE ABORTED YOU AND YOUR WRONG OPINIONS

*silence*

Dick:… Dami… did you forget that Tim’s adopted

Jason: this is the best day of my life

Duke: right of passage I fear

Bruce: *is on concussion number five of the week and it’s only Wednesday trying to remember if he gave birth to Tim or not* what?

Just the Batkids forgetting that most of them are adopted when fighting

And he’s following Dick around so Dick is like let’s get some blackmail

Dick: *has just perfectly executed a signitaure move that literally no one can do and the rest of the bats struggle immensely with*

Dick : so baby B lets see what you’ve go-

Baby Bruce: Hn *does it* *flawlessly*

Dick:

Jason: ooooh that’s gotta hurt

Tim: yikes

Damian: 👀

Cass: 👀

Steph: 🤓🤨🫵

Alfred: 😅😅😅😰😰😰

Bruce: is the warm up over now

Dick : *critical damage*

Bruce: *cocks head to the side* 🤨

And Bruce is a chill guy so what’s the harm in looking down right

Free titties

And omg the titties

So you stare

And your staring

But you feel a weird chill

You look over Wayne’s shoulder and….

Oh.

My

God

All of Wayne’s freakazoid weirdo ass kids are staring into your soul

And omg why does the little one have a sword abort abort abORT ABORT ABOR-

Bonus:

*internal dialouge*

Damian: never look at my father with such disease in your eyes, your worthless soul does not deserve his beauty

Dick: fuck off fuck off fuck off get the fuck away from my mother father Bruce before I tear out your eyeballs and feed them to you, wait for them to shit out and the feed them to you again and then-

Jason: *pure mindless rage screaming*

Tim: if you know what’s fucking good for you, you’ll stop right there

Steph: *will never admit it but people objectifying Bruce makes her so uncomfortable in a way she will never look at because fuck self reflection* but so help her you leave that poor man alone he’s dealt with enough objectification for a life time

Cass: mama 🔪🔪🔪💣👊 I protect

Duke: I’ve known this man for a few months and he’s such a wet cat, I’m going to kill everyone in this room and then myself if you don’t take a FUCKING STEO BACK RIGHT NOW ISTG MOTHER FU-

Just the kids lowkey treating Bruce like a helpless 1920s damsel in distress in their minds makes me giggle

Like dude will literally be like:

Bruce: FIANALLY this day has come *scooping up Dami* my wonderful darling boy are you sure I hope you are. My one true wish

Damian: 👀 this is not how I thought this would go

Rest of the Batfam: 👀👀

Bruce has being trying to stop the feral children he keeps finding from flinging themselves off rooftops from DAY 1 and acting like he’d be anything but happy from Damian deciding to become A DOCTOR of all things is jail worthy

He’d be worse than an Asian (brown) parent hearing their kid got into Oxford for medicine.

Bruce: here have ice cream, have all the cookies. Do you want more? Do you want a zoo? A house? A car? A forest? Island?

Rest of the Batkids: we are unloved now

Jason: lol dickie’s no longer the favourite

Dick: lol Jason is no longer the favourite

So like for me, I think the reason Bruce hasn’t told the kids anything about his childhood is because he just assumes that they research him. They go a dig and find out shit, because that’s what Bruce did for his parents and Alfred.

Didnt even bother asking just went “I wonder what they were like before? And went to research, found out everything and went “huh” and never brought it up.

So he just never mentions anything to the kids like ever and it’s like an unspoken Wayne family tradition. Thomas did the same to his father and so on. BUT NO ONE TOLD RHE KIDS AB THE TRADITION, no one mentions it, they spent the beginning of their lives in relatively normal ish families or surrounded by less weird people or environments.

And Bruce just assumes that the kids know everything because it’s not like he goes out of his way to hide it, he just doesn’t mention it. But the kids are like “Bruce doesn’t tell us anything 😓” because they don’t realise that’s not how Bruce was raised to operate. Like he never told his parents anything either, his parents stalked him and never brought it up either.

Anyways I just think it would be really funny if Alfred one day maybe after an argument between Dick and Bruce (+ an audience of kids), where dick was like “YOU WERE STABBED Y DIDNT U SAY THINGING” and Bruce went “I did not believe it was necessary to mention” or sm. and Alfred just kinda nudges them towards the unspoken rule:

They’re all in the kitchen

Alfred: *holding a a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel to Tim’s ribs* ah I remember doing the very same thing to Master Bruce after he discovered his mother’s past as a gymnast and attempted to copy her trick from the bannister, he was so intuitive for a four year old

Dick: what

Damian: Pennyworth what is the meaning of this

Jason:

Tim: 👀👀

Steph and cass: 🍪🍪

Duke and Bababra: 🥛🥛

Dick: Alfred what-

Alfred: ahh yes those were good times, *pointedly making eye contact with Dick* I do love the Wayne ritual of discovering your parents, tell me children, do you think you’ve managed to discover all of master Bruce’s secrets

Dick: wha-

Alfred: hmm yes I do suppose you haven’t, anyway if that would be all I suggest you all start making your way to bed

*leaves*

Jason: what the fuck was that about

Duke: I have no clue

Dick: *sheepish* I think I might has an idea

Cue lots of digging, what the fuck, really Bruce? And much more

The kids corner Bruce at some point and aggressively show him concern about how *pointing at a picture of little Bruce with Harvey Dent with baseball bats in a wharehouse littered with unconscious bodies* is not normal,

And they terrorise Bruce.

Like Bruce really loves them but does not want them there.

Why.

Well Bruce hasn’t had an authority figure since he was eight. Him and Alfred were more like bros tbh. He was his parents inappropriately younger third who was originally hired as a bodyguard under the guise of butler.

Ergo Bruce did not grow up the way they wanted, and he knows.

His father and mother are painfully traditional, in the worst way to Bruce.

They cannot find out he’s had sex, his father will kill them, all. Thomas Wayne is a painfully protective man, especially when it comes to his princess Bruce, never mind Bruce is a 38 year old man and Batman.

Oh lord Batman. And Martha is just an enabler and arguably worst.

“Bruce you could hurt yourself”

“You should take care of yourself”

“Put that down you could hurt yourself, it’s dangerous”

And Bruce was always strange, his parents worked a lot as a child. It’s why they hired Alfred. He learnt his paranoia from somewhere, but Alfred wasn’t exactly parent material and well there was a lot Bruce did that they didn’t know about before they died.

Like learning how to sword fight, sneaking out at night to explore, science experiments in the forest, finding all the hidden passageways in the manor (that one they knew about and Thomas almost had a seizure because “Martha he’s so small he could trip”) and Bruce was so endlessly curious and smart and kept wandering but Thomas and Martha loved they’re little baby boy and NO ONE could convince them they’re little angel stabbed the greasy man at the gala who kept grabbing at Ms Darcy’s rear. Not their little angel, sweet, innocent, angel.

And worse “Bruce if anyone and I mean anyone comes up to you, you tell me alright” “no dating till your at least 25” “marriage first Bruce” his father was a proud Italian man and his mother was raised in Russia.

And he his beautiful children found them wandering around Gotham and thought Bruce would love to see them, why wouldn’t Bruce, brooding Bruce love to see his loving amazing perfect parents, the ones he’s been giving them small heavily edited stories about. Bruce may be floored but he’ll love it, what fun bonding.

His children were wonderful, caring, idiots.

I think the whole “grow up to protect Bruce” mentality is just so interesting esp when applied to Dick.

Like as in: when I grow up imma be an alpha and protect Bruce so he doesn’t have to do “x” and then all those creeps who come up to him as Brucie I’ll finally be able to sock them in the face

It really pays homage to the hole “pay him back for all he’s done for me” thing the robins tend to have

And allows for a really nice dynamic to play out

It’s really nice when paired with Omega!Jason who perhaps as a kid wanted to be an alpha to specifically protect Bruce and this also allows Bruce to really see a reflection of himself in Jason after he gets revived and means a lot more angst in his behalf

It very much plays out similarly to the dynamic single mothers have with their children especially those who come from traumatic backgrounds. The whole she did so much and sacrificed so much for me even if she made mistakes I loved her, thing.

I very much think that’s the dynamic they have normally and an A/B/O Au with Omega!Bruce would allow for it to be portrayed very explicitly and easily.

Especially when paired with Bruce’s absolute lack of self preservation self worth and confidence. He sacrifices a lot and would likely inflict a lot of damage on himself in the name of his mission to protect others.

Which leads to a rather haunting respect, a rather similar thing felt my children to parents/mothers in an abusive home or single parent home

And they accidentally walk themselves into a situation where they have to physically face the overwhelming love Bruce has for them

Because their self work may be zero but Bruce loves them so much and he wants better for them and he may stumble in communicating it sometimes but he wants them to cherish themselves and hates when they deliberately do stuff that harms them

So when the kids try to argue with Bruce about this point in particular they just end up like flustered and embarrassed and uncomfortable because “oh he cares what do I do with this my daddy loves me of course he does he’s always loved me” and externally they go “well um fuck you bye” and leave

Because Bruce would most definitely give them the “because I care about what happens to you”

“No one should do that”

“You do”

“It’s different”

“Why”

“I’m the adult”

“I’m an adult too Bruce you can’t just keep-“

“No (insert child of choice) you may not see me as your father but I do! And I will not let you do (x activity). It’s my responsibility that’s why it’s different that’s why I can. I don’t want to! I’ve never wanted to, I do it because it’s necessary. I do it so that you don’t have to”