#jay ray

And yes, after seven years, I can definitely say that this is the best collaboration that I've seen with Marko.

Poets of the Fall: PAQ

No matter the cost, despite the worst odds

There is a distance I must go

This moment is all that I control

And all that I control is here and now

Ben and You were walking around the school looking for any tokens for the ritual that would supposedly kill that psycho murdering thing,,, whatever it was. 

Ben had managed to find his but you still needed yours so he stayed with you. You were outside near the woods near the school where a small memory came back as you walked around the trees.

-

“Y/n, we shouldn’t be skipping class. I have a perfect record my parents will freak.”

“Oh come on Ben just live a little... Besides it’s the last period.” You said pulling Ben with you as you stopped in front of a huge oak tree. You kneeled down at the hole and smiled as you looked up at Ben and motioned for him to get down as well. He sighed as he to looked through the hole noticing a small knotted purple ribbon around the tree hidden from the grass that had a small scent of lavender.

A small bundle of baby rabbits were huddled close to each other scared to move. You smiled as grabbed your backpack and pulled up a small box and opened it. Ben looked inside to see the box filled with food and water and a wool blanket.

“Their mother got ran over yesterday, I heard them crying and I wanted to help them.”

“Is that why you tied a ribbon around it?”

“Yeah...Just in case I forgot which tree. Think I’ll leave it here though, like a small memento.”

“But will your mom be okay with it. I mean does she even know what you are doing?” 

You smiled as you shook your head.

“That's what makes it better. This is our little secret.”

Ben watched as you carefully picked up the small fragile creatures and huddle them together in the box softly whispering to them that they would be okay. You carefully placed the lid on showing Ben the small peephole on the top. Ben smiled as the babies started to cuddle into the blanket. 

You gave the biggest smile you could manage. You handed him your bag to hold which he took while you carried the rabbits.

Ben paused for a moment following you as he pulled out a piece of paper and quickly placed it in-between one of your books and zipped up the bag. The sudden ring of the bell and the sounds of footsteps coming out of the school made both of you hurry and grab your bags and head home before any of the teachers saw you.

When you got home Ben was catching his breath as you opened the door and saw no one was home. You smiled as you walked in placing the rabbits on the counter and had Ben offer back your backpack.

“Thank you Ben,” you said giving him a small peck on the cheek. You waved bye as he simply stood there smiling. 

As you went upstairs and placed the rabbits on the bed you searched through your bag for some water and accidently knocked over the bag to the floor. You looked down to see a piece of paper sticking out from the book.

-

“Did any of them make it?” 

Your mind returned to the forest as you turned around to Ben who looked at you with a curious look.

“Yes and no. The runt didn’t but the rest did. He was much weaker than the others. Sadly the others I had to give to the pet shop. My mom said she couldn’t afford to care for them.”

Ben sighed as he looked around and once again the small scent of lavender pierced his nose. You saw him kneel next to a tree and smiled as he pulled from the grass the same purple ribbon from all those years, it was slightly torn and muddied but it still clung to the tree like it was brand new.

“This should do.” You said taking the ribbon from Ben’s hand. You smile at him until the sudden sound of hysterical laughing comes from the hole in tree. You move back as Ben stands in front of you. You see two beady yellow eyes and feel your heart beating twice as fast.

A sudden hand came from the tree with torn skin and flesh. Your eyes grew bigger as the figure that climbed out of the hole was a horrid version of Ben. His skin was torn and inside his chest was what look to be thorns growing inside and out of him, his eyes were pitch black with black stained tears down his cheeks.

“You rejected me...” It groaned walking closer to you.

Ben went in to punch it in the chest but the thorns caught his hands piecing the skin making him shout in pain, the creature simply flung him away into the tree making him gasp for air as the figure started to walk closer to you making you back into another tree. The thorns around its body grew larger and soon the bones of animals sprouted from its body each of them whimpering and screaming in pain. You closed you eyes trying to remember it’s not real. Once more a memory came back.

-

“What’s this?” you said grabbing the paper from the floor but before you could open it, you had it yanked away from your older sibling. 

“Oh...what this. A secret boyfriend...or is it a girlfriends.”

“Give it back!” You said trying your best to reach for it even though you knew you were not strong enough to get the paper back. Your older sibling looked at the bed and you quickly grabbed the box of rabbits and hid it from them.

“Oh and secret pets...mum is not going to be happy when she hears this.”

“Wait please don’t tell her. Please, I’ll do anything.”

You sibling smirked and crossed their arms. 

“Fine, How about this you do all the chores and give me money from your allowance for a month and I only tell her about one of these secrets.”

“What?! No, she’ll kill me.”

“Both secrets, yes, but only one, she’ll just ground you for a year.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Here’s a free lesson for you Y/n, life isn’t fair. The sooner you realize that the better.”

You looked at the paper and then to the rabbits. They huddled together looking up at you with large black eyes pleading for help. You sighed as you held the rabbits to you and looked away from the paper.

“Secret paper it is.”

You watched as your older sibling walked away as the sound of the front door opened, knowing fully well that your mother just got home. You looked at the closet and placed the rabbits on the shelf in the far back where you kept your old clothes and covered a small curtain from the side to hide them. The sound of your mother yelling and running up the stairs made you shut the closet down and ready for your punishment.

-

You opened your eyes and gripped the ribbon in your hand sucker punching the creature to the ground. You quickly brought a foot to the creatures neck putting more and more pressure on it until a loud crack came from it. You started to breath heavily as the mutilated Ben disappeared showing you stepped on just a few twigs. You caught your breath as you saw Ben gripping his hand. It was hurt but only a few cuts and bruises, looking over to the tree you saw some blood on the thorn bushes, must have been part of the illusion.

‘I hate that fucking clown.” Ben said standing up as he walked over to you. 

“You okay Y/n?”

“What did it mean, I rejected you?”

Ben looked away.

“We don’t have time for this, we need to meet the others.”

“Ben, wait!”

He stopped in his tracks as he felt your hand grab at his arm. He turned around to you, once more you asked.

“Did...did you write something on that paper for me?”

“Yeah. But clearly you didn’t feel the same way, You dated Bill for the rest of middle school until you moved away.”

You looked up at him. He wasn’t looking at you trying not to let you see what he was feeling. You brought a hand up to his face to make him look at you.

“What did it say?”

“You know what it said, don’t pretend.”

“Please Ben, just tell me...”

He was silent for a moment as he looked up into the sky.

“Your hair is winter fire, January embers, My heart burns there too.”

You saw him look down at you, what he saw was not what he expected. You were crying.

“For years I wondered what it said, If I only knew.”

“You didn’t...”

“No, my older sibling caught me that day with the paper and the rabbits. I had to choose which one my mother would know about. I couldn’t...I couldn’t just throw them back into the cruel world....My mother took it and burned it. I never knew what it said or who wrote it.”

Ben felt like punching himself at those words and the sight of you crying didn’t help the gut wrenching feeling he felt. You wiped the tears from your face.as you felt Ben bring you in for a hug. it was warm, and for once you felt completely and entirely safe. You felt his arms wrap around your back as yours were pressed against his chest. You could hear him inhale deeply and sighing.

“I’m so sorry Y/n...I just thought you didn’t feel the same.”

“I did but I thought you liked Beverly. So I didn’t...I thought.”

Your words choked as you placed a hand over your mouth trying to hide the sobs. 20 years you never knew, you wanted to scream, You felt anger toward your mother and sibling. You felt remorse for the choice you made. You felt Ben loosen his grip on you bringing his hands to your cheeks wiping away the tears that streamed down. You caught a breath as he stood a bit closer to you.

“May I?”

After the last few years, I can definitely say that this is the best collaboration that I have ever seen with Marko😆

Poets of the Fall: PAQ

Warning: Potential seizure trigger like whoa, potential spoilers, violence

Title: Breaker Game

Editor: Sacha Valentine

Studio: UFO Team

Song: Crucial Fracture

Artist: Jay Ray

Anime: Lostorage Incited WIXOSS

“Somethings I just can’t pretend..”

ALBUM REVIEW: Jay Ray – Self Resonance

Can’t read Dutch? Don’t worry, you can find the English version here. Eens in de zoveel tijd kom je langs een onbekende artiest die gewoonweg geweldig klinkt met de paar tracks die deze heeft uitgebracht. Een van die artiesten is de Finse Jay Ray. In 2014 bracht hij The Great Art of Living uit, welke niet lang daarna zijn weg naar mijn playlist vond. Het heeft sindsdien even geduurd, maar hij…