#jaxson

Jaxson's draft night was supposed to be beautiful. Everything was supposed to fall into place. Jaxson was going to be drafted into the NFL, you were going to finish your degree at Ole Miss online, and you were going to be by his side through everything. You were so painfully unaware of how the night would end.

You sat on the couch in Jaxson's living room, the draft pulled up on the television. Jaxson sat in the middle, you on one side and his mother on the other. Jaxson was surrounded by his family and friends, everyone patiently waiting for the phone call. The daunting phone call.

You were oblivious. Jaxson had practically ignored you all night, but you just swept it off as nerves. You ignored the looks of guilt from his closest friends - the ones who knew of Jaxson's plans. You didn't notice a difference.

You kept a soft smile on your face, sitting awkwardly on the couch as Jaxson sat still. His focus was on the ground, elbows resting on his knees. You could tell his nerves were starting to get worked up. As his completely oblivious girlfriend, you rested your hand on his thigh, leaning over to whisper words of encouragement. Jaxson pushed your hand off, shaking his head.

"Not right now." That was all he could mutter.

You quickly retreated, hands going to rest in your lap. Jaxson's college friends noticed the conversation. They felt so guilty. When Caden Prieskorn found out about the situation, he told Jaxson that he'd regret it. Jaxson just ignored his friend's words, his excuse being that his focus needed to be on football.

Then the phone call came, no one dared to speak as Jaxson answered the phone. You completely blacked out, hearing only small moments of the conversation. Your head whipped up to the screen, hearing the familiar chime as a correspondent went up for the Giants. New York, that's where you'd be.

That would be tough, considering you've become so accustomed to the Mississippi environment. Jaxson's name rang across the screen, and everyone jumped up and cheered. Jaxson hugged his family first, and you respected that. But as Jaxson went across the room, you started to become less respectful to the fact that Jaxson didn't care about your presence.

You sucked in a deep breath as Jaxson gave you a half-hug. The kind of hug that comes across as I don't want to deal with you. You told him congratulations, and Jaxson just completely blew you off. The group all cheered, moving to the kitchen to continue the celebration.

Instead of joining them, you retreated to Jaxson's bedroom. There was some kind of ache gnawing at your heart. This is where your anxiety started to rise. The growing feeling of something being wrong plagued your mind. You noticed the signs around the room, making big deals out of things that were small.

A picture frame was haphazardly tossed into a box, not wrapped with any protective wrap. Any sign of your relationship was gone from the room. Maybe they were packed into a box, but none of the boxes were labeled with anything that could be considered memorabilia.

You sat on the edge of the bed, your lungs sucking in air faster as things started to click in your head.

The door swung open, then clicked shut. Your head shot up, watching as Jaxson froze in his spot. Jaxson pursed his lips as he sighed, already drawing the conclusion that you knew. You were smart like that, you could take in things and draw correct conclusions from the littlest thing.

You opened your mouth to speak, but shut it again. You couldn't find the words to define the thoughts that were rioting in your head. You wanted to yell, you wanted to argue with him. You wanted to fight and defend your relationship. But, it wouldn't do anything.

"I'm sorry." Jaxson spoke, his voice quiet.

You narrowed your eyes at him, and tears started to burn your eyes. You let out a scoff, shaking your head. With your bottom lip trembling, you finally opened your mouth to speak. "When were you going to tell me?"

Jaxson sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I was going to talk to you before I left," Jaxson replied. He held his voice with such strength, such confidence. There was no fighting over this decision. He knew what he wanted; there was nothing you could do.

"So, you were going to let you celebrate this with you, be around everyone, then just leave me in the dust? That was your plan?" You spoke, disbelief lacing your tone. You rolled your eyes at Jaxson, lips pursing as you nodded in acceptance.

"I'm just going to leave." You spoke.

You quickly got up from the bed, watching as Jaxson showed no want to try to hold you back. Grabbing your things from his desk, you stifled a sob. Once you were out of his room, you swiftly went down the stairs.

Kara, Jaxson's mom, stood at the end. A bright smile adorned her face. She looked at your appearance, the smile dropping for a moment. "Are you leaving already?" Kara asked, her wide eyes littered with confusion.

"Um-" You stuttered, sucking in a deep breath. "He doesn't want me here, so I'm just - I'm leaving." You spoke, your voice shuttered as the sobs threatened to escape your mouth.

"I'm sorry? What? Jaxson definitely wants you here." Kara's voice was filled with disbelief. You could see the confusion on her face. So, you gathered whatever strength was left in your body.

"He broke up with me." You stated simply, trying to fight the waves of sadness that raged through your body.

Kara's eyes widened more than they were before. She was taken aback by the revelation, scratching her neck as she tried to find the words to say. Kara loved you, treated you like one of her own daughters. "I'm so sorry, honey. I didn't know he felt that way."

You sighed, putting a small smile on your face. "It's okay, he probably just needs space." You replied, shuffling your body past her to exit out the front door.

The moment you were in your car, feeling the privacy from the tinted windows, you broke. Your wails filled the silent car, sobs racking your body. You didn't know what you were going to do. How could you even possibly move forward?

It was the last dead week Jaxson got before the NFL season started. As part of a collab with some random YouTuber, Jaxson found himself walking through the doors of the Vaught-Hemingway stadium. He toured the guy around, answering whatever questions the guy has to ask.

Adam asked Jaxson questions about football, his family, and his routines. Jaxson was able to answer every question smoothly, without hesitation. Until Adam spoke one final question.

"Do you have any regrets?" Adam spoke, and his camera captured the exact moment that Jaxson's face dropped. Jaxson took a deep breath, humming as if he was actually pondering the answer to the question. Jaxson's only regret was pushing you out of his life.

It was the only reason Jaxson agreed to let Adam do this interview. Jaxson was back at Ole Miss, hoping that there was a chance he could find you again. Jaxson wanted to apologize; he wanted to grovel his way back into your life. Jaxson needed you.

"I have one regret in life, and that's losing my number one fan. No comment." Jaxson nonchalantly replied, trying to act like it wasn't that huge of a regret.

After the interview concluded, Jaxson went straight to the coffee shop you went to every day. You and your roommates would meet here and talk about everything under the sun.

Your roommates saw the red Ford first. Hailey grimaced, sighing. "He doesn't know, does he?" Hailey spoke, gesturing to the tall man heading for the entrance.

"He's going to freak out when he finds out. He told Dawson the only reason he's here is for Y/N." Keeley mumbled, taking a sip of her Matcha latte.

Jaxson's eyes lay on your roommates, but he quickly noticed how you weren't there. You were probably in the bathroom. You never missed the brunch date, under any circumstances. If you were sick, you went. If it were the only time you had to study, you would still go. Jaxson walked over, standing in front of the girls.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in." Rylee, your absolute best friend, spoke first. She eyed Jaxson up and down, eyes narrowing at the boy. "Mr. Dart's back on his old stomping grounds." Hailey snickered.

"Look, I know you guys feel some type of way about me, which is valid. I just want to talk to Y/N." Jaxson sighed, shaking his head. He noticed the looks between the girls, eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. "What?"

"She moved back in with her parents, transferred to LSU. She couldn't stand to be here anymore, because of you." Hailey spoke, her tone laced with venom.

Jaxson's eyes widened, his jaw falling slack at the revelation. "Deadass?" Jaxson breathed out, his fists clenching by his sides.

Rylee let out a sarcastic laugh, shaking her head. "Consequences of your own actions, Jaxson. Plus, last time we heard, she was messing with some guy from LSU."

Jaxson shook his head, turning on his heels to leave the coffee shop. He stomped to his truck, slamming the door as he sat in the driver's seat with a huff.

"Fuck!" Jaxson shouted, his hands slamming onto the steering wheel. His hands moved quick to find his phone. He plugged in your parents' address. In any other situation, Jaxson would be shocked he still remembered.

Jaxson started the five-hour drive, his brain racking at what he would say to you when he shows up to your family's home unexpectedly.

You were grateful.

Your parents were gone on some vacation they take yearly, so you had the entire family home to yourself. You could sit on the couch and binge-watch a television show without the judgment from your father when he left for work at six in the morning.

It had only been two months since Jaxson and you broke up. Slowly, but surely, you were able to go through the days without thinking about him. You spent many nights wondering about what he was doing, how he was doing. Now you could completely push him away from your mind.

You had just finished cleaning up the pasta dish you made for dinner when a loud knock sounded at your front door. You weren't expecting anyone, but it wouldn't be surprising for one of your new friends to just show up unexpectedly.

You waltzed over to the front door, whipping it open. The sight in front of you was enough to make your eyes go wide. Your jaw fell slack as you rolled your eyes.

"No, no, no. You can't be here - you shouldn't be here." You quickly spoke, defensively standing in the doorway. The tears immediately rushed to your eyes, causing you to bite the inside of your cheek.

"Please, just listen-"

"No! I'm not listening to whatever you have to say! Jaxson, this is what you wanted. I've picked up and moved, and I'm able to move on, and you just - you can't do this. You don't get to do this to me." You ranted, hands clenching into fists as you spoke.

"Just listen!" Jaxson raised his voice slightly, causing your lips to shut close. "Just please, let me talk."

You ran a hand down your face, pursing your lips into a tight line. You leaned against the door frame, eyes turning doe-like as the tears welled up. "Then talk."

"I accepted a stupid interview just to go back to Mississippi to find you. I wanted to - I had this whole speech plan of what I would say to you if I ever saw you again. Then I went to the one coffee shop you and your friends always went to and they told me." You were about to interrupt Jaxson's words, but he put his hands up to stop you.

"Y/N, I thought - I thought I'd be able to focus better if you weren't there. I thought I wouldn't be able to handle our relationship and being in the NFL. I didn't want you to pick up and relocate; I didn't want you to feel like you were going to come second to my career. I thought I would just end up hurting you." Jaxson ranted, his eyes looking down at his feet as he spoke.

You sighed, rolling your eyes as you shifted your weight. "You did that anyway. You hurt me, you hurt me so bad that I had to come back to Louisiana because I couldn't stand being on that campus." You quickly shot back. "I'm not mad that you did it, and I guess I understand why you did it."

Jaxson's head shot up, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

You quickly shook your head, shutting it down immediately. "I'm mad that you broke up with me the way you did. You packed any remnants of us and shoved them in a box in your closet. You told all your friends, you let me show up to your stupid draft celebration and made me look like a fool."

Jaxson put his hands into the air, defensively trying to hold his ground. "That wasn't how I planned you would find out."

"Jaxson!" You fired back, your withheld anger finally starting to poke through your voice. "It doesn't matter how you planned it to happen. It matters because you weren't honest and straightforward."

"I need you. Y/N, I need you so bad in New York. I need you back in my life. I'm not who I am without you." Jaxson pleaded, his emotions fueling every word that fell from his lips.

Tears finally started to fall down your shocked face. Your lips parted, a breath falling from the gap between them. "Did you think this would be easy? Did you think I'd just pick right back up and move to New York with you?"

Jaxson let out an exhausted groan. "I didn't think it was going to be easy. Fuck - I drove all the way from New York to Mississippi, then here to Louisiana because I wanted to fix things. I know it won't be easy, I just need you to know how I feel."

You clenched your teeth, hand resting under your chin. "Jaxson I-" Jaxson quickly cut you off. "I'm not asking you to say yes or do anything crazy. I just want to try again. I want to spend however long it takes to fix things."

You pondered. It felt like hours that you stood there and stared at Jaxson. You didn't know what to believe, you didn't know if you could trust him. Jaxson fucked you up badly, but you knew deep down there was still that small part of you that loved him.

"We can try. But, the moment you do anything, anything at all that isn't right, I'm done." You whispered, your eyes looking back up to look at Jaxson. "I mean that."