#javierpenaedit

You wake up to Javi’s warm hand on your side, giving you a soft squeeze. You’re still kind of out of it, half asleep, but you can clearly feel his hot body pressed up against yours. Not uncomfortable. Not at all.

He’s spooning you, one arm tucked under the pillow beneath your head, the other lazily rubbing your side. His hand slides down to your stomach and he pulls you even closer, like he needs you right there.

You feel his heat more now and then you notice it, right against your ass, he’s hard. Of course he is. Like every morning, his cock has its own schedule. It wakes up before Javi does and it’s ready for whatever. You love it. It grounds you somehow, makes you feel safe, especially with the way he’s holding you so tight. You do it on purpose, pushing your ass back into him, rubbing against his stomach.

“Mhm, don’t move, princesa. Stay right there,” Javi murmurs into your neck, his breath hot against your skin. “It’s perfect like this.”

You listen to him, but you still give his cock one last little nudge with your ass.

Javi growls, not angry. More like needy. Horny. You know that sound by now. That low, restless need that just radiates off him. He presses closer to you, the hand resting on your stomach sliding a little lower to your lower belly, pushing you gently back against him.

You know what that means. He wants to be inside you. No rush, no urgency, no wildness. Just closeness, just the feeling of being connected.

You bend your leg at the knee and hook it lightly over his, giving him access.

You feel the tip of him brushing against your thighs, Javi guiding himself with his hand to your entrance. He teases you for a moment, dragging slowly between your folds, and then he starts to push into you. Slowly. So slow. Not fast, not desperate, not all of his impressive length at once. Inch by inch. It’s almost unbearable, but at the same time so intimate it makes your chest ache.

Javi breathes out softly against your neck. The deeper he slides into you, the more you feel his heart pounding against your back, and you love it. He’s so close right now, so yours. You let out a quiet sigh, from the arousal, from the love, from the way he fills you.

His hand drifts to your nipple, touching it lightly, thumb circling it slow while his big hand cups your breast.

You feel his hardness more and more until he finally sinks all the way in. You both breathe out at the same time, like you’ve reached exactly what you were both craving.

Javi stops moving. Completely. He’s just there, inside you. Hot, hard, filling you up in a way that makes your whole body feel heavy and calm at once. He presses tiny kisses along your neck, still gently playing with your nipple.

You squirm just a little. It feels too good.

“Stay still, cariño,” he almost whispers, almost begging.

And you know it matters to him. This is how he relaxes. How he feels safe. When you tighten around him, when you hold him inside you. It’s the only place that really feels safe, because his reality is the DEA and the dangerous shit he walks into almost every day.

You never know if he’ll come home to you, or if one day Murphy will knock on the door with a folded flag and a quiet “I’m sorry.”

The thought hits you out of nowhere. Your eyes burn, your chest tightens, and a small, muffled sob slips out before you can stop it. The last thing you want is to ruin this - Javi’s favorite morning ritual. His way of saying good morning, I love you, I’m safe with you.

You’re supposed to be his anchor. Not the one who breaks down crying while he’s trying to feel okay.

Javi goes still. “Baby?” he asks. He doesn’t pull out of you right away, just leans over, trying to see your face.

You bury your face in the pillow. “I’m okay, nothing’s wrong,” you mumble.

“No, you’re not. Look at me,” Javi says softly. “Please.” And then he gently slips out of you. He’s still hard, still wants to stay right there inside you, but you come first. Always.

“No, Javi, it’s fine, really. You didn’t have to…” you sob. Not just because of the thought that one day he might not come home, but also because of the sudden emptiness you feel when he leaves your body.

“Baby, talk to me,” Javi says, gently turning you to face him.

You don’t want to at first, but then you let him. He pulls you close, arms wrapped tight around you, rubbing your back, his legs tangled up with yours.

You press your face into his chest. And it’s his warmth, his closeness, the way there’s literally no space between you, his body and his quiet voice, that finally does it. You cry. Not full-on breaking down, but enough that your shoulders start to shake.

“Shh, baby… I’m here… I’ve got you. I’m holding you. You’re safe, okay?” Javi whispers into your hair, his chin resting on the top of your head.

You cry into his chest and he just holds you, doesn’t let go. After a while, you start to settle. The tears slow down. Your shoulders stop shaking.

When Javi feels you’re not crying anymore, he pulls back just a little, only so he can see your face. You look at him. Everything’s still a bit blurry from the tears, but his eyes ground you anyway. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, okay? Just… don’t keep it all inside,” Javi says softly, wiping the last tears from your cheeks. He kisses your nose, trying to lighten the moment.

And it works. A little. You smile, just for him. “I…” you start, your voice rough. “I didn’t want to ruin it, Javi. I’m sorry. It was perfect and I… I started overthinking and…”

“Baby? You didn’t ruin anything, okay? We’ve got time. No rush. We’re not going anywhere,” he says, giving you a small smile, still watching you closely. Like he’s starting to get it. Because this isn’t the first time you’ve talked about this and he knows his job scares you. Still, he lets you choose if you want to say it or not.

“I’m scared, Javi,” you say quietly. “I’m scared that… what if we don’t actually have that much time?”

Javi sighs, his hand sliding over your side. “Baby…”

“No, Javi… I… I know you can’t promise me nothing will ever happen to you. And I’m not asking you to leave the DEA, I… I know you love that job, that it means something to you. Even when it gets too much sometimes. I know it still matters to you and that you want to change things. I just… sometimes I’m scared that instead of you coming home, it’ll be a folded flag and your badge. And I’ll be left with just… nothing. Empty.” You drop your gaze. This isn’t easy to say. You can feel the tears creeping back in.

Javi pulls you back in tight. “Cariño… I’m here. Can you feel me? Can you feel my heart? I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I came back yesterday. And I’ll do everything I can to always come back to you, okay?”

You nod a little, not fully sure.

“I’m not going anywhere. We’ve got this morning. And trust me, we’re gonna have a lot more mornings like this. I believe that,” he murmurs into your hair.

“Javi?” you squeak softly.

“Hmm?”

“I… I need you,” you whisper again. Almost like you’re embarrassed. Like a few minutes ago you were crying in his arms and now you want him inside you again. But you can’t help it. You need the reassurance. You need, even just for a moment, to feel like he’s really here. Inside you. That right now, in this moment, no sicario’s bullet can take him away from you.

Javi gets it right away. He kisses you, deep, messy, tongue sliding against yours. His scent is everywhere and your brain just shuts off. You don’t want to think about the bad stuff anymore.

Without even looking, eyes closed, you let your hand slip down to his cock. He’s not fully hard anymore, but he’s not soft either. You run your thumb over the tip a couple times and he groans into your mouth, his fingers tangling in your hair. You stroke him once, twice, three times, feeling him stiffen under your hand.

Javi’s free hand slides down your thigh, hooks under your knee and pulls your leg over his hip so he has you open to him. He drags you closer by the hips, like he knows exactly how. This isn’t gonna be spooning. This is face to face, and you know that’s exactly what you need. And you’re relieved he knows it too.

You feel the tip of him brush against your entrance, lazy, almost sweet, then slide up just enough to rub your clit. You feel yourself getting even wetter than you already were.

You look into his eyes. “I love you,” you whisper.

He presses his forehead to yours. “I love you too, baby,” and then he starts to slide into you. Slow. No rush. Inch by inch, you feel him filling you up.

“You’re so wet… and mine,” Javi murmurs, forehead still pressed to yours. When he’s fully inside you, there’s no space left between you at all. He starts to move, not rough, just slow, easy rolls of his hips that make your whole body tremble.

You move together, breaths picking up. Javi’s hands are on your hips, his grip tightening. Not in a bad way, just enough that you know he’s close.

“Baby?” Javi breathes, his voice rough.

You just nod. He pulls out, runs his hand over his cock once, twice, and then he comes over your stomach. You’re lying on your side, so it spills onto the sheets and you already know you’ll be changing them later. Again. But that’s just how you do it. He never finishes inside you without a condom. Kids aren’t something you’re talking about and you’re not on the pill. And sometimes, when sex happens like this, born out of moments like this, there’s no time to stop for a condom.

Javi rides out the last of it with his eyes squeezed shut, his forehead pressed to yours, breathing it out. Seeing him like this turns you on. Knowing he’s marked you like this does too.

He doesn’t wait. He kisses you and then slides two fingers inside you. You’re still open from him, stretched from his length and thickness, so it’s easy, and he knows he doesn’t have to wait. His fingers curl and move inside you and it doesn’t take long before you feel that hot wave rushing through your body again.

“C’mon, baby, come for me. Show me how good you are,” Javi murmurs against your mouth between kisses.

That’s all it takes.

“Arghh, Javi,” you cry into his mouth, grabbing his hair. You clamp down around his fingers, almost too tight, like you might crush them, but Javi looks more than happy about it.

“My good girl… you’re so beautiful…” he keeps saying it, like a mantra. He drags it out on purpose, fingers still moving just enough to stretch your orgasm, to keep your body shaking. Your thighs tremble and it takes a moment before you finally calm down.

Javi gently pulls his fingers out of you and you almost hiss because you immediately miss having something filling you. He smiles, a little smug about it. He’s in a good mood and it rubs off on you, so you smile back at him.

“Feel better now, princesa?” Javi asks, wiping your wetness off his fingers on the sheet, because it’s already a mess anyway with his cum on it and it’s getting changed regardless.

“Mhm,” you nod. And you really do. Like his cock and his fingers somehow managed to shut your brain off for a bit, let everything go quiet.

There’s a quiet moment. Neither of you says anything. Javi’s on his back, your head resting on his chest. One hand is drawing lazy circles on your back, the other holding yours, fingers tangled together.

“You know what?” Javi says after a bit. “I’ll take some time off… fuck the DEA for a while. Steve and Carillo can handle it without me… and I’ll take you to Laredo… to meet my dad.”

It catches you off guard. You push yourself up on your elbow and look at him, checking if he’s messing with you. “Really? Like… really really? You’d actually take me to your hometown? To your house?” Your eyes start filling up again, but this time it’s the good kind of tears.

“Mhm… yeah… I think I… I think I want you to meet my family,” Javi says, almost shy, like he’s suddenly worried you might freak out or say no. That cocky grin he had a few minutes ago fades a little.

You take his face in your hands and kiss his nose, resting your forehead against his. “I’d be honored, Javi. Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me that… that you’re letting me this close.” And you both know you’re not talking about physical closeness.

“Okay,” Javi says with a shy smile, that playful spark coming back into his eyes. “But just so you know, princesa. My family’s loud. And big.”

“If I can handle you, I think I can handle them,” you smile, wrapping your arms around him. Inside, you’re buzzing with relief and happiness.

And Javi? He’s probably feeling pretty much the same.

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