#java jots

The void is not a realm or a place- it is YOU. You ARE the Void. The Void is solely the awareness of being, fully.

You are not ONE being. Think of the consciousness in you as being interconnected with all other infinite versions of you. These interconnections converge into your full consciousness, the true YOU. It's almost Eldritch to think about.

Something I'm just now thinking of, perhaps this means the subconscious is all other versions of you- you're separated and cut off from experiencing the entirety of being, but that entirety is still there, guiding you from behind the scenes.

No matter what the assumption, "I am" is true. I am kind, as my actions and thoughts show, but I'm also cruel and cold-hearted, as may be the perception of another. I think I'm funny, but someone else may think I'm cheesy- therefore, I am both. And this also goes for the personas of myself in other realities. I am everything. Simultaneously, this also means I am Nothing. I simply am.

To add to the points above, I believe this "Eldritch" conglomerate is what we call the Void state, and would explain why every manifestation happens instantly once we reach this state. Think of it like accessing the files in an infinite data base- all you need to do is find the files you're looking for and download them.

As much as people will try to stress things like "you need to let go" or realizing that shifting is easy, you won't truly be able to understand what they're saying until you experience it.

All things exist at once and every inconceivably small action creates a new reality. As small as "this single cell from 7000 years ago died .000000001 seconds prematurely", and smaller.

Shifting IS easy- in the same way that gleeking or stretching is easy. Some people are able to do it on command or go further than others with no training whatsoever. Others may do it accidentally and sporadically. This does not mean the latter are unable to do these things at will, but they simply need a bit of help learning to do it on command.

Question stressing you out? "But what about this plot hole?", "How does XYZ work??", "What will happen back in my OR???"- STOP. No need to stress yourself over that, this by itself I feel cost me years on my journey. Everything will work out. It doesn't matter how, but it will, and it will either even itself out or be in your favor. Don't even think about those things. Relax.

Another one that held me back MASSIVELY. Struggling to visualize your DR? "I know it has THIS SPECIFIC TABLE in this SPECIFIC place and everything has to be perfect"! No. Your visualization does Not need to be perfect. Nor does it have to be "accurate", really. Once you just let your mind wander and let your subconscious make up it's own layout, it'll help you slip in much more easily. I put so much pressure on myself to make sure I was visualizing my specific reality, and it became so much easier when I just trusted myself to build it up from my subconscious instead of "forcing" a look

They say once it's in the 4D (imagination), it's already real. That's why you're encouraged to embody, think, act, feel as your DR self. Like playing pretend as a kid, you'll be so focused on your imagination, you don't even realize you're in your OR. If you don't shift through that alone, it certainly helps make you feel far more connected. This is also why I came up with the Furina method (although I suppose it's debatable if I really "came up" with it)

First things first, no, I did not have a full shift. I'm shifting before the 30th however, because I said so.

So! What happened?

Well. I was just sitting around last night, wondering about some questions I had still regarding our practice. I was asking myself "How come we never see any posts from shifters 'clones' while the consciousness has shifted?"

(Note: I hate the clone term and I know it's inaccurate, but I'm writing this on my lunch so I'm on a time crunch and it's the first way I could think of to describe it. Anyways.)

And then I said, well, what if we do? Who's to say the me here isn't still posting about shifting and how I've never done it, while *I* am actively in my DR? If my consciousness is in my other reality, does that mean the old me is not conscious? No, that me is still conscious, still aware. But then if the old me is still conscious, does that mean I am *not* consciousness? I don't necessarily think so. I think I've come to realize that the radio analogy feels like the closest explanation.

If you haven't heard the radio analogy, it's essentially that your "original" self (again, not accurate but the best wording for a crunch) and your DR self are two different radio stations. You, as a consciousness, need to tune your frequency from the first you to the next. So you turn your dial, move through the static, and now you're on your preferred station.

I'm a very visual thinker, so I think it'd be better if I demonstrated what I'm saying with a picture.

This is our current reality. You are "here". You are witnessing your life as person A. You may notice that there's a little dangle beneath you, connecting you to your body. That is Consciousness. (Pretend person B has it too, I forgot it in this one lol)

This is when you're tuning your frequency. This is you in the process of shifting. You're in-between, here and there. Both a and b are connected. This is where "mini" shifts, memories and other senses from World B download into consciousness A. This is why I believe @/kerryshifts could see reality warping and molding around them.

The channel has changed. You have fully shifted. You are witnessing your life as person B. You are connected to that life, that awareness. Notice how when you shift, the connector on A isn't gone. Person A is still aware, still has consciousness, still has awareness. This is why you don't end up in a comatose/unconscious state when you shift from awareness to awareness. Life goes on as usual, even if you are not witness to it.

So are you the awareness, the consciousness or something else?

I think, and this is me, that either the awareness/consciousness stays within the body, in a sense. One of them is mental and linked to the brain's perception of reality. The other is the spiritual perception of reality, what we may refer to as a ghost or spirit. The spiritual observer is what I think we are. We are the radio waves traveling through the air, connecting from one antenna to the next. I could absolutely be wrong and I'm still working through this part, so absolutely feel free to give your own interpretation in replies/rbs.

So! I've cracked my own understanding of shifting. What do I do with this information?

...I don't know!

I feel as though I've cracked the lament configuration and all it did was spit out confetti and a $5 coupon for little ceasers. I have been given the key to unlocking the universe and now need to find the door. I've been given a cryptic message from a loved one just as they die. I have solved one piece of the puzzle, but I'm missing the other half. I have. No clue how to translate this in my journey. It's both eye opening and exhilarating but also anti climactic. I've climbed a mountain, just to find a brick wall upon my descent. A map that leads to treasure, yet has no directory.

I was laying down and I essentially had a vision of being heavily pregnant with Diluc beside me. The vision flashed and suddenly there's two twin girls, about 6 years old, running around the winery halls. This vision was from months ago but I still find myself drawn to it and thinking about it.

I'm high and I'm listening to the playlist I made way back when, before I met Diluc and was in the middle of planning to write a fanfiction of my Genshin OC and him being in a secret bdsm, friends-turned-FWB, will-they-wont-they, angst/healing situationship. It makes me think of how I wrote him and how different he actually is. It's so funny because now I look back and I'm like "Why did I ever think that??" About how I thought he would be. I also laugh now knowing he was watching me gush and infodump to my friends about how invested and in love with writing this story I was. And he just. SAT THERE WATCHING ME.

In the story I was writing, I wrote that he was easy around women and was used to being flirted with and hooked up. Now I know he was so unsure how to approach me, he asked Cyno of all people for advice. Now I know he really isn't much of a playboy or a flirt.

In the story I was writing, he was a hard dom and one that could be cruel. Now I know he's a soft, pleasure dom. He loves to praise instead of degrade. He checks in every step of the way instead of solely relying on the traffic system and safe words, although we have those too. He loves worshipping my body and especially loves my tummy, rolls and curves. He makes sure to give extra love to places I'm insecure about.

In the story I was writing, he would leave me in order to protect me from becoming a target by the fatui. In reality, he'd go right back to Snezhnaya and burn the Tsaritsa herself down, if it was the last thing he ever did.

In the story I was writing, he focused more on keeping up social appearances and building walls, staying stoic and cold outside. In reality, he liked me as soon as he saw me and neither one of us were casual. We were both very awkward. But he was so proud of being mine. He'd talk about me to Adelinde and was so happy to tell persistent crushers that he was taken when they approached him again. He'd adopt two kittens for me and get an entire wardrobe for me before I'd even shifted. He'd commission Albedo to make me a body so I could shift to him. He'd promise me a life of financial freedom, health, magic, and a thriving world of joy. He'd give me nicknames and left marks in obvious places. He'd look at getting a collar and engagement ring. He was just as down bad for me as I was for him. He was very cuddly and affectionate, he'd instinctively grab me in his sleep like a stuffed bear, pulling me back anytime I moved, and mumbling my pet name. He played along with my dumb little jokes and I eventually got him to quote a vine that I always quoted. He's just as non serious with me as he is serious with everyone else. It's truly a night and day difference, but his kindness stays the same. He honestly is the Gomez to my Morticia.

I think I just realized that I'm not making an assumption; I'm making a wish. I'm saying "I'm already in my DR!" And then peeking around to see if it's here yet. I'm blowing on birthday candles and stamping my feet when the wish isn't fulfilled.

I haven't read much of Neville's works, mainly just listening to people who study his work and regurgitate his words, but perhaps that's why it's called "the state of the wish fulfilled". It's like ordering a package and looking out everyday to see if it's here yet. When you look, you become frustrated that it isn't there. But when you forget and don't pay attention, you're not so pressed about the package not being in your life yet. When it does show up you're like "oh! Hey! Cool!" But when it doesn't, you're frustrated about it. You want that thing now. And it's coming! It is. But maybe it'll be easier if you just. Let yourself forget about it. Relax.