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Bau members as norse gods (5/?): Jennifer Jareau as Freja
(The goddess of love, beauty, and magic. She is also associated with death and war, as she chooses half of the warriors who die in battle to dwell with her.)
Others in the series: Hotch as tyr | Rossi as Odin | Emily as Hel | Morgan as Thor | Elle as Skadi | Blake as Frigg
jj’s daughter turns up at work after a traumatic event at school
the bau were working hard on completing recent case files when they heard the commotion in the hallway outside. derek turned around first, being nosy. however, seeing jj’s daughter, he rose to his feet.
people were crowding her. what was she even doing here?
“jj,” derek said, tapping her shoulder and looking out the glass doors.
“i just need my jumper!” she cried, pushing people out of the way. jj jumped from her seat, walking over to her clearly distressed daughter.
“mum! i need you,” she said panicked, stopping in front of her mum.
“what are you doing here, y/n?” jj asked, looking her up and down. her school uniform was disheveled, the plaits in her hair were a mess- like she’d been rubbing her head constantly, something she did when stressed.
“mum my jumper,” she whispered, glaring at her. “where is it?”
“baby it’s not here!” jj said suddenly.
a security guard walked into the bau then, going to grab y/n’s arm but morgan stopped him.
“it’s fine, she’s Jareau’s daughter,” he told the guard.
“she doesn’t have a visitor badge. she just walked through,” he groaned.
“i said leave it dude,” morgan said. the guard walked off, shaking his head.
“mum i need my jumper!” y/n whined.
“you’re meant to be at school!” jj argued.
“mum!” she groaned. she walked around her, beginning to search through jj’s stuff. throwing the things out of her go bag onto the floor.
“baby no,” she heard JJ say and she sighed loudly.
“i need it, why do you not understand?” she cried, shouting at her mum.
“i know, i know,” jj whispered, putting her hands on her daughters arms. “but it’s not here.”
“then where is it? you’ve got to help me find it! they said you had it!” she pushed her mums chest and jj sighed. this jumper was y/n’s comfort jumper. she went no where without it, it was old, tattered and hardly ever got washed but now she couldn’t find it and the world was upside down. jj knew how important the jumper was to her daughter.
“what’s going on?” the team heard emily say from the stairs. y/n turned around from jj’s arms and ran to her auntie emily.
“have you seen my jumper?” she asked, practically begging.
“your jumper? no baby, when did you last see it?”
“at school but- but -but the girls they took it and said mum has it,” she cried out, looking at the team frantically. jj sighed then, taking out her phone and ringing the school. emily guided y/n into her office.
“sit down,” she told jj’s daughter.
“no, i nee- they said mum has it! why is she lying to me?” she cried, rubbing at her head. emily sighed and walked over to the teenage girl.
“was it the same girls? hannah and freya?” emily asked, crouching down in front of her. y/n just nodded, feeling herself growing more and more panicked. these girls regularly bullied y/n, for being different. they’d obviously taken her jumper and told her that her mum had it - causing her to leave school and head here.
“listen sweetheart,” emily muttered, running her fingers down y/n’s arms. she knew it soothed her, she’d been doing it since she was young. “your mums talking to school now. she’ll find your jumper.”
“i need it now,” she began to sob and emily could only comfort her in the way she knew how. arm tickles and forehead kisses.
“put someone on the damn phone who knows what i’m talking about!” jj shouted down the phone. she’s excused herself to her old office, trusting that emily had her daughter safe.
“i am sick to death of this happening,” jj said. “did you even know she’d left? what if something had happened to her?” she was getting angrier and angrier. “no! she’s autistic, not special. why can’t you see that! you’re allowing them girls to ridicule her and bully her day in and day out and you’re doing nothing about it.”
“i don’t care if you understand because you clearly don’t. i am coming to get my daughters jumper and to clean out her locker because there is no way i am sending her back into your care. authorities will be hearing about this,” jj told them. she slammed the phone down and took a few deep breaths.
for the last 16 years y/n had always been excluded, different- unique. she had a mind of a genius, she didn’t talk a lot and she took things very literally. she wasn’t one for physical contact unless it was auntie emily and she needed her routine. but since starting this school, jj had only grown more and more furious with their handling of her. she was a vulnerable child, she did need that extra care sometimes but jj felt like her daughter was being thrown under the bus constantly.
walking out of class, was her fault. lashing out at other kids was her fault. breaking down and going non verbal was her fault. the way she handled anything wasn’t understood and now the school had let the bullies walk all over her again.
jj entered emily’s office to the sweetest sight. emily sat on the sofa, cradling y/n in her arms. her legs were over emily’s thigh and her head in the crook of emily’s neck. emily continued tickling up her arm, singing softly her own song.
“i’m going to get her jumper, is she okay here?” jj asked, feeling so, so grateful for emily.
“she’s okay yeah, you go beat to them kids,” emily sniggered. jj rolled her eyes and walked out, shutting the door quietly behind her.
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Summary: Y/n and JJ have been friends for a while and recently y/n has began distancing herself as her mental health crumbles. When the team takes a case in her home town, she is uncontrollably thrown into her traumatic past and she turns to an old coping mechanism.
The team were coming back from y/n’s hometown, the chaotic events that had unfolded over the last few days had opened up old wounds she had kept hidden for years. No one on the team seemed the same after discovering the unforgiving darkness that lay beneath y/n’s hard exterior and in her past. Her whole career was built upon being a strong powerhouse, no one could penetrate her well-built sturdy walls that had offered her protection her whole adult life. Yet now, after this case, they knew she’d been taken advantage of years prior, they’d met the man that had repeatedly abused her, made her feel weak, and made her small.
That’s how they saw her now, small, and it ripped at her insides every time they gave her pitiful sympathetic side-eye glances. Small was one thing she was not, she could take any unsub on, and irritatingly her abuser had to be one of them, but she fucking did it. Not any of the team, she arrested him.
She traced the discoloured bruise now forming on her upper arm thinking back to how that sad excuse of a man showed her that in the years that had passed, he had in no way changed, still only wanting one thing from her. But she got away when she was younger and knew she would again. His recent victims weren’t so lucky, and she was not prepared to let the fucker get away after repeating the unspeakable things he did to her and worse to so many other vulnerable souls.
When she was faced with her old abuser, she was not a victim anymore, she refused to let herself digress into that little girl again, she fought with every single muscle in her body and took him down, though he managed to get a few blows in first.
Yes, she did what needed to be done and did it flawlessly, but away from the front she was putting on, memories had begun to resurface. They flooded every nerve of her body and forced her to relive the trauma over and over again. It was inescapable and she was drowning in a hazardous pit of unprocessed memories, too afraid to let anyone see.
That’s when a hand planted itself on her shoulder, anchoring her back to reality. Her head shifted up and her eyes locked onto concerned ocean blues, goosebumps coated her skin as she studied the facial expressions on the blonde's face who was hovering above her, clearly worried. The feeling of her hand, even through the thin material of her shirt, usually elicited a small reaction from her, though she chalked it up to the low temperature of the blonde hands. But today the chill that ran down her spine was something she didn’t have the energy to contemplate.
Ignoring her heart thumping against her chest, y/n shrugged off JJ’s hand and turned back to staring out the plane, suddenly engrossed in the shapes of the clouds and the landscape displayed below. Obviously not getting the hint the older woman sat herself across y/n and glued her eyes to her. It was hard not feeling the hard gaze on her and it was almost painful to continue to advert her eyes, but she did so.
Y/n’s eyes remained out the jet window as she finally broke the gut-wrenching silence between the two women, knowing if JJ started she’d struggle reeling in her emotions and really didn’t need to break down with the whole team watching her. “I’m okay JJ, and no I don’t want to talk.”
As the blonde opened her mouth she was interrupted, y/n had spent enough time with her to know what would come next, not even having to look to JJ to know she was preparing words of comfort,” And yes I’m fully aware it may help, and you have open ears, but I mean it when I say, I’m fine.” She slowly brought her eyes back to those piercing blue ones.
Though she’d never outwardly admit it, those eyes brought her more comfort and warmth than a fire on a cold winter’s day. They always made her feel safe and understood, it was overpowering. The feelings entrapped her, she began to lose herself in the solace of JJ’s presence and the blues of her eyes.
“I’m worried about you y/n. I-” she sighed and looked down at her hands, beginning the fiddle with her fingers in an attempt to calm her anxious mind, “I don’t want you to shut me out. I won’t let you. I’m here, always.”
A small smile crept onto the young woman’s face, and she tried to conceal it, biting down lightly on her lower lip and once again adverting her eyes out the window. She knew JJ would never know the full power she had over her, she also knew she never wanted to depend on anyone for comfort. Hyper independence seems to be a way of life these days.
If someone had the power to make her feel this safe with only a few words, or even just a look, they held the power to tear it all away and throw it in her face. The shadow of the smile was all but gone as memories and doubt found their way back into the forefront of her brain once again.
Her hands were beginning the shake and the control she was maintaining over her body was slipping away like quicksand. Forcing her muscles into action, she stood tall and strong and made her way to the toilet before JJ could get another word in. Missing the blonde’s limp arm, which was reaching out to try and comfort her.
The door shut behind her and she flicked the lock, images flashed over and over, her body was frozen as she gripped the sink of the small cubicle, knuckles turning white. Hot tears ran down her cheeks and she repeatedly cursed at both herself and the man that made her feel this way. There was nothing she could do, no escape, she was transported to the same cold dark room where she was repeatedly assaulted, and memories engulfed her as the world around her began to fade away.
The journey to her apartment was a complete blur, she took a backseat and let herself run on autopilot. By the time she got into the dingy lounge and perched herself on the couch, her eyes wandered down to her hands. No reaction came when she saw the plastic bag containing a bottle of liquor. Somehow, she knew, she was the one that bought it, never registering it she walked into a store and reached for the only thing she knew helped.
It had been years since she found her sorrows at the bottom of a bottle, then again, it had been years since she’d been back home. The memories were back, and so it seemed were the same coping mechanisms. At least this way she could take control of being out of control, that’s what she told herself. JJ popped into her head, she pictured the concern that was painted on her face and the love that those eyes held during their brief conversation on the jet.
She wanted to reach for her phone and call her, confide in her, the internal conflict was that would mean she’d be reliant on her, she’d be letting her in, and this time she would be a lot more vulnerable. Letting anyone see her like that was beyond frightening. Impulses took over instead and pushed her to crack the bottle open.
Laying on the floor half a bottle of liquor gone, the room began to spin. But y/n told herself it was what she wanted, for the world to become fluid and mailable, she revelled in the way nothing felt real. It was easy to convince and deceive herself into believing, wholeheartedly, that everything was okay.
A knock erupted and echoed off the walls of the apartment evoking a loud groan to escape from y/n’s lips. With alcohol racing through her bloodstream, restraint flew out the window and she refused to move from her comfort space, bellowing out, “Fuck off!”
“Y/n, please.” From the other side of the door, JJ placed a hand softly on the door, she saw the pain seeping maliciously through the younger woman earlier and wanted nothing but to hold her. After the jet landed everyone saw y/n zone out and just assumed it was her way of managing. But JJ knew better, in the last few months they’d grown undeniably close, and she could read her like a book.
The recent case may have opened the team’s eyes to the harsh reality of y/n’s vulnerability, but the blonde had been witnessing y/n slowly change for weeks. The timelines suddenly made sense, a couple of weeks ago would have been the anniversary of when it all happened to y/n, when the abuse started. She’d began to distance herself, push people away and the bags under her eyes were stubborn as ever. JJ was forced to watch as the woman who she holds so dear slipped away out of her grasp and into the depths of an endless pit of darkness.
She was just an innocent child. The image of y/n being alone, having to endure all the abuse with no one to turn to caused JJ’s heart to shatter into a million pieces. Enough was enough, she was not about to lose the one person who seemingly held the biggest place in her heart. She would not let her suffer alone, not again, not when she knew what that young girl had to do to survive.
From the other side of the door, JJ heard shuffling and thanked her lucky stars y/n decided to not be stubborn that day. When the hinges of the door creaked y/n was in full view, aside from the crappy lighting it was evident from her whole demeanour that something was off. She hadn’t changed, still, in the same work attire, her posture was slumped, and she was practically swaying. When the older woman attempted to head into the apartment y/n made no effort to move out of the way, keeping her feet placed firm in the doorway.
JJ threw her a confused look, and a slight pang of hurt coursed through her body. She felt herself wanting to give up, but she would not be deterred so easily. This was y/n’s way of pushing her away, shutting her out. Throw me off a cliff and I’ll bounce back, she thought to herself.
With neither woman opting to talk first, JJ curiously inspected the apartment through the door, and that’s when she saw it, adorning the lounge carpet was a half-finished bottle of pure vodka. Anger, sorrow, and disappointment found its way to her face simultaneously. Not sure which one to focus on. Of course, she was disappointed, she didn’t want y/n to turn back to this, though she knew the pain she’d gone through was agonising and left so many mental scars. It was hard not to understand how a bottle of liquor seemed like a solution.
JJ’s face morphed again and again and it was hard to place what the woman was feeling, y/n could practically see thoughts racing behind her eyes. She followed her eye line and saw what caused the visible change and slight distress in the woman, she rolled her eyes in hopes of normalising the situation and reducing it to JJ overreacting. She finally sternly spoke up looking at the bottle, “Don’t fucking get involved JJ.”
Before y/n had time to snap her head back around, a body barged into the apartment and almost knocked her off her unsteady footing. She followed the blonde as the stormed into her lounge, trying her very hardest not to lose her temper at the sudden intrusion.
“JJ seriously what the fuck?!”
The moment JJ entered the lounge she grabbed the bottle and accusingly held it up, “Really? After everything, you turn back to this?” She didn’t raise her voice and seemed surprisingly calm and intrigued. There they were again, those blue eyes staring straight at her, stubbornly refusing to look anywhere but at y/n. She felt her eyes glaze over and it became evident that JJ’s continuous concern was taking effect, she cursed the blonde for always finding the cracks in her impenetrable walls and slipping in to provide nothing other than unconditional love.
She didn’t want to turn back to this, it was all she knew. It was the only thing that used to help; the singular problem now was that she wasn’t alone anymore. She had people that cared and wanted to help in any way they could. The woman looking straight at her for answers what the one person who seemed to care the most.
JJ was the only person who knew about her drinking, it was under control now and she’d found ways to still indulge but not depend on beverages. The one time she did overindulge she leaned on JJ for support, it was readily and unconditionally given. The alcohol-soaked night was a blur, but she knew one thing, after all the drunken confessions JJ never looked at her differently and that was something that meant the world to the younger woman. Even now catching her relapsing she saw the look in her eyes, she wasn’t pissed off, wasn’t pouring the alcohol down the sink, she wasn’t taking control of her. She just wanted to help and listen.
All the emotions y/n had worked so hard to lock away came crashing in and she crumbled under JJ’s loving and concerned stare. Tears stung her eyes and hoping gravity would work on her side she bent her neck, looking up to the ceiling, alas the unrelenting tears still came. Running down the sides of her face and taking home in her baby hairs.
Footsteps slowly approached her and she came face to face with the blonde. She was pulled into a warm embrace as a hand wrapped around her waist and the other around the back of her head. Y/n didn’t fight back when JJ used her hand to lower her head so she was nuzzled into the crook of the blonde neck. Breathing in the scent of her golden honey locks instantly calmed her. The hand previously on her waist was now on her lower back moving in small circles. The security seeping from the embrace was enough to cause y/n to shake uncontrollably as she finally allowed herself to emote freely.
A small kiss was placed to the temple of her head, and she grabbed onto JJ for dear life never wanting to be let go again. It felt like home, something she’d never found, but it looked like it was because this was it. Home was in JJ’s arms, in her warm embraces, in the small timid smiles they shared, the laughs they exchanged.
She picked her head up and carefully placed her hands on JJ’s shoulders, looking into those ocean-blue eyes, they now appeared puffier and redder. She examined the beautiful face before her very eyes, not understanding how she got so lucky to have JJ to lean on. Then salty tears rolled down the older woman’s face, y/n cursed herself for making this soft, kind, and caring woman cry. Using her fingers she lightly wiped away the tears that rolled over JJ’s cheeks before mustering up the courage to speak.
“I don’t want my past,” she looked to the bottle that was now on the table, “that was the only way I knew how to cope. So, I stupidly turned back to it.”
Blue eyes softened and y/n could swear she felt the hand on her waist tighten. The alcohol was numbing all of her senses and it was hard to keep a grip on the events unfolding. She saw JJ’s eyes travel down to her lips. Y/n reached out and tugged a stray piece of blonde hair behind her ear. A smile appeared on her face as she revelled at how JJ’s eyes closed, and a breath of relief passed through those soft pink lips, tender lips begging to be kissed.
When JJ’s eyes fluttered open, she didn’t miss where the younger woman's eyes had settled. She realised somewhere between the crying and hugging both her hands were now firmly on y/n’s waist, which she was not complaining about. The smell of alcohol, unfortunately, deterred her from wanting to initiate anything, so she shuffled away a little from the close contact the two shared, earning her the most adorable saddening pout she’d ever seen y/n produce.
With her hands still around the younger woman’s waist she continued, “I meant what I said before, I’m here, always. I want to help, I want to hold you, I want to protect you. I know no one can take away what happened to you, but this,” she gestured to the vodka, “isn’t the answer.”
“I know,” Y/n said lowering her head slightly, not for long though as a finger made its way under her chin to pick her head back up.
They searched each other’s eyes for any doubt, darting back and forth between lips and eyes. It was taking too long, and y/n took things into her own hands, she pulled JJ in closer and was about to press their lips together when the finger previously on her chin pressed to her lips and stopped her just as their lips were about to meet.
“I want you to promise me, you’ll call me next time. I- I care about you y/n and if this, us happens. It can’t be drunken kisses, it’s more for me, it’s always been more.”
Before y/n could get a word in their lips met, and there in that kiss they formed an unspoken promise, this was her new way. JJ would hold her, keep her safe, and distract her in any and every way she could.
The kiss itself was soft and slow, both women not wanting anything other than to enjoy the new sensations overtaking their bodies. Rejoicing in the softness of their lips gliding against one another. Time simply slipped away from them, until JJ heard three words against her lips causing heat to rush all over her body and a cheek-to-cheek grin to break out across her face.
