After way too long I finally have for you — the Nancy and Jonathan of my Spidey AU!!

usually im not super tethered to steve or dustin… but their conflict was ENGAGING and AMAZING… i love their scenes even if they were actively being stupid! because i understood it!

holly and max’s conversation was SO GOOD. I loved that moment. yes i was stressed bc trauma from her last failure but it was clear they were going to make it, that character moment was so special (endeared me to holly and got me to really care about her as more than nancy’s family, and max finding that peace and strength within herself! i also REALLY LOVED the memory navigation, genuinely so cool and interesting and FUN to watch them be so intuitive).

and then lumax, their reunion was so perfect and sweet and i want only happiness for them. lucas got SO many good little moments of determination and strength. he’s taken some hard hits throughout the show, the scratch he got is probably very painful, and yet he’s still hauling around like everyone else! carrying max like that and running and the radio i KNOW he was hurting, but he pulled through to save her and was her rock they’re SO SPECIAL!!

vickie dunne… is a character? with personality traits? im so… pleasantly surprised… its still not enough and still ronance 4 life but i liked what we got! amybeth is very talented and gave her a lot of personality. caring about robin but being so pissed at her lmao. very brave too. i genuinely think if this happened in s4 though it would be 1 billion times better (ronance still better though i would be SO jealous lmao)

the jancy conversation… i love the jancy conversation… we got a peek into the time skip (jancy coping mechanisms… the fics that could be written…)… we got two traumatized barely adults spilling everything out into the light and settling somewhere more stable because of it… healing… thats character progression! that’s growth! they’re better for it! (also people saying jonathan wouldn’t be a little pretentious about nancy’s style are forgetting that he is still a DUDE).

even joyce perspective felt rewarding to me! but i really want her to talk to other people. eleven needed more focus too but for the most part i liked what we got (especially kali)!

white lies in primary colors 𖤐 steve harrington

you and steve retrace the moments you bent yourselves to fit each other. it ends with the quiet truth that love doesn't vanish just because the relationship does.

⋆ the jancy break up fml

the rainbow room looks wrong in the upside down.

the painted clouds are peeled and bleeding through the walls like old bruises, the colors dulled into sickly pastels under the red lightning that flickers outside the broken windows. mold creeps where children once laughed. the air tastes like rust and ozone and something rotten you don't want to name. somewhere far above, the upside down groans like it's breathing.

dustin had left too fast.

he'd mumbled something about checking the hallway, about needing space from steve, eyes flicking between you and your boyfriend like he already knew what this was going to be. like he could feel the tension vibrating off the two of you, tight as a wire pulled too thin. he hadn't waited for an answer. his footsteps faded, swallowed by the distant echo of vecna's world.

now it's just you and steve harrington.

"dustin didn't even pretend," you say quietly.

steve huffs out something that almost sounds like a laugh. "yeah. kid's getting smarter. or braver. or he's just sick of us dancing around it."

he sits across from you, back against the wall, flashlight in hand. his hair is damp with sweat, curls fallen out of place, face smudged with ash and exhaustion. he looks at you the way he always does like he's bracing himself for something, even when he doesn't know what it is.

you've both been avoiding this.

but the upside down has a way of stripping things bare.

"you okay?" he asks, voice gentle, like it always is when he's scared of the answer.

you nod, because lying has also been a habit. a smaller one. kinder, you used to think. the kind you've both gotten very good at.

then you shake your head.

that earns you a small, sad huff of a laugh from him. "yeah," he says. "same."

for a while, that's all there is. the upside down breathing around you. the faint tremor under your feet. somewhere far away, something roars and then doesn't.

you don't know who starts it. maybe you do, but you'll tell yourself later that it just happened.

"i lied to you," you say.

steve stiffens, just a little. he looks at the floor, then back at you, eyes soft but steady. "okay," he says. "me too."

you turn to look at him. this version of steve. older, tired, still trying so hard to be strong feels so far from the boy you first fell for, and somehow exactly the same.

you start small, because that's how the lies started too.

"i never actually liked that band you played all the time," you admit quietly. "i just… liked watching you light up when you talked about them."

steve lets out a breathy laugh. "yeah? i hated that fancy coffee you're obsessed with. tasted like dirt. i drank it anyway."

silence settles over the room, thick and waiting, until steve breaks it again. "you could've told me. i would've turned it down. or listened to something else."

"i know," you say. "that's the problem. i didn't give you the chance."

your eyes burn as you keep going. "i never liked the diner's fries. they always made my stomach hurt."

"i pretended not to notice how you always pushed them on my tray."

you talk about the movies you sat through for each other. the clothes you wore. the plans you agreed to because it was easier than disappointing the other.

the room feels warmer for a moment, filled with soft laughter and shared nostalgia. it almost tricks you into thinking that's all this is.

but the lies get heavier after that.

"i said i didn't want to leave hawkins," you admit. "but i did. God, i did. i just didn't want to be the one who said it."

he exhales slowly. "yeah," he says quietly. "i figured."

that opens something.

he looks down at his hands. "i lied too," he says. "told you i was fine staying here forever. that i didn't care about… more. about college, or something bigger." he lets out a breath, shaky. "truth is, i was scared you'd outgrow me if i admitted i wanted more than this."

you remember old moments as you speak. flashes that sting more than the words. steve grinning at family video, asking what you wanted to watch, you shrugging and saying "anything's fine" when you meant please choose for me. the way he'd always walk you home, even when it was out of his way, pretending it was nothing. the nights you fell asleep on his chest, his heartbeat steady beneath your ear, both of you pretending that was enough to keep the world out.

you realize something terrifying and gentle all at once.

none of the lies were cruel.

they were small acts of love.

and they piled and piled and piled up anyway.

"i lied about being ready," you say finally. "for all of this. for the danger. for the way the world keeps asking more of us. steve, we were just sixteen. you thought the hardest thing you'd do that day was apologize to nancy. i thought mine was delivering a pie to mrs. byers. we didn't know it was the last normal thing we'd ever do."

"i lied about thinking love was enough," he says quietly. "i wanted it to be. i wanted it to be."

your eyes burn. you blink hard, but it doesn't stop the tears.

your voice is quiet when you ask, "why did we do that?"

"do what?"

"lie," you say. "about the little things. the big things. all of it." you gesture weakly around the room, to the life you somehow built together inside chaos. "why did we keep choosing that?"

for a second, it looks like he might answer seriously.

then he exhales and gives you that familiar half-smile the one he uses when things hurt too much to touch head-on.

"well," he says, shrugging, "i'm ‘king steve’. avoidance is kind of my brand."

you let out a shaky laugh despite yourself.

"i mean," he continues, warming to it, "lying was easier than admitting we were scared. easier than saying ‘hey, this is breaking me a little.’ plus, i've been winging adulthood since i was, like, seventeen."

"that's it? that's your answer?"

"aaand," he adds, "we lied because sometimes love makes you stupid."

you snort. "steve."

"what? you asked." he shrugs again. "love plus monsters plus unresolved trauma?"

that one makes you laugh again because no matter the situation, no matter where you are, steve always finds a way to pull it out of you. he never liked seeing you upset, never knew what to do with any emotion of yours that wasn't happiness. he hated that helpless feeling, hated not being able to fix it, so he'd turn into this softer, stupidly charming, trying just a little too hard just to see you smile again.

"okay," you say. "anything else?"

"yeah,” he murmurs. "actually."

he releases your hand slowly, deliberately, like he needs both hands steady for whatever comes next. his fingers slip into the pocket of his jacket. you watch, confused, heart pounding for all the wrong reasons now.

"steve…?" you start.

he pulls something out.

small and dark. worn at the edges.

your breath catches before your brain catches up.

it's a ring.

not flashy or dramatic. simple silver band, a tiny stone that glints weakly in the corrupted light of the upside down. it looks him. it looks like something he would've spent weeks agonizing over, asking robin's opinion on, pacing inside WSQK and pretending to straighten tapes while rehearsing what he'd say.

your chest tightens painfully.

"i was gonna do it after all this," he says quietly. "you know. if we survived. somewhere normal. somewhere with less… evil hell dimension vibes.”

a tear slips down your cheek before you can stop it.

steve huffs a soft, broken laugh. "guess the timing was off.”

you press a hand to your mouth, voice shaking. "you were going to—"

"yeah," he nods. "i was."

silence crashes over you again, heavier than before.

then he does something so steve it almost makes you laugh through the ache.

he turns the ring in his fingers once, then holds it out between you, offering it like a truth he doesn't want to hide anymore.

"so," he says, voice gentle, self-aware. "will you accept my unproposal?"

"an unproposal," you repeat. "is that a thing?"

"i'm making it a thing," he replies. "low commitment and no pressure. comes with absolutely zero expectations."

you sniff, wiping at your face. "does it still involve a speech?"

he grimaces. "i had one. it was bad. something about surviving monsters and choosing each other every day."

you laugh again, softer this time. "of course it was."

"hey," he defends, smiling sadly. "i meant it. i practiced," he says softly, almost embarrassed. "had this whole speech about how you made me better too and how you made me brave without even trying."

he swallows hard.

"i was gonna ask you if you'd take my last name or i'll take yours," he continues. "if you'd build something with me. something normal. something that didn't involve monsters. and well... the six kids maybe."

your chest aches so badly it feels physical.

"i didn't tell you because…" he shakes his head. "because i was scared you'd say yes for the wrong reasons. or that you'd feel like you had to."

"i know, honey. i know," you say, voice warm despite everything. you look at the ring again, then back at him. "you really thought about this, didn't you?"

he shrugs. "kind of hard not to when you're constantly facing death."

you reach out, not to take the ring, but to gently close his fingers around it again.

another flash of red light fills the room. somewhere down the hall, you hear dustin's distant voice, muffled and uncertain. he's giving you time. bless him for that.

"i have always loved you," he says, voice rough. "that part was never a lie."

"i accept your unproposal, you say softly. "best one i've ever gotten."

he chuckles under his breath, eyes shining. "figures."

"also… i never liked boppers."

he freezes.

"they're too sweet and they stick to your teeth. i only ate them because you always bought two and looked so happy handing one to me."

"you're breaking up with me in the upside down and that's the ultimate bomb you drop?"

"hey! i loved you enough to lie about boppers."

"yeah," he says softly. "i know."