#james l sutter

This was SUCH a good book.

I found the first little bit before Cara and Meredith went on their first date a bit average. A combination of Cara’s attitude/outlook and Aiden’s ghost banter made me unsure if I was going to like this one.

But as we get to know Cara, everything about her starts to make so much more sense, and we get to see her grow and change with Meredith. And without Meredith, too. Her lightbulb moment towards the end about the kind of person she wants to be and the kind of life she wants to live was so great.

Meredith’s grief over her brother was palpable and painful and beautifully, delicately written. It was hanging over them everywhere, yet happiness managed to shine through.

I ended up really loving Aiden and Cara’s friendship, too. They really started to care for each other even if they were rubbish at expressing it at times. It was lovely to watch it unfold.

Sutter’s latest novel Darkhearts is a strong, bittersweet work about grief and regret. 

This book is difficult to classify. While it has some elements of a romcom (friends-to-rivals-to-lovers, secretly dating, finding yourself, etc.), it doesn't actually read like one. The romance between narrator David and his love interest Chance is the main plot, but arguably the story is really about how David has been stuck in the past and needs to find a way to move forward. If I had to register a critique, it would be the fact that band member and friend Eli's death wasn't handled in a way that served the narrative or the readers. 

This is the event that kicks off the plot and brings Chance and David back together. Narratively, we are set up to expect it will be tied to the emotional development of both characters. Maybe it will help them learn to let go of old grudges because life is too short? Maybe it will cast doubt on how they used to see each other or the wider world? Maybe something else, but (pardon the expression) you can’t raise a ghost like that and then just expect it to...fade away.

But that’s exactly what happens. By the midway point of the book, Chance's feelings of guilt are "resolved" for narrative purposes...Or maybe they just get forgotten? Either way, the fact that this event just falls away is troubling.

It’s particularly insensitive considering that Eli’s death is a tragedy related to substance abuse. This is an incredibly serious topic, one that affects many young people, particularly young queer people. Chance--who lived in the bubble of teenage stardom side-by-side with Eli--is no doubt traumatized by the loss of the person who understood him best in the world. But somewhere along the line, David and Chance have maybe one honest, vulnerable conversation about it...and then they never speak of it again!

The only thing I can think of is that maybe this is meant to be another sign of David’s selfishness. He’s the narrator, and by the end he realizes that he’s been ignoring the emotional needs of his friends and family to feed his own resentment. But wouldn’t Eli’s death be a trauma for David too? After all, he perceives Eli as having left him behind for fame just as much as Chance did. Knowing David as a character, I find it hard to believe he wouldn’t obsess over the fact that he’s not ever going to get some kind of closure with Eli.

As always, there’s also the Big Question of all queer self discovery stories: to come out or not to come out? I understand that not every teenager is in a position to come out before becoming an independent adult. I also recognize that in real life celebrities often choose to live in the closet because homophobia has real consequences that could put them and their dreams in danger.

Still! I hate reading stories like that. I live and breathe homophobia every day of my life. I don’t want to escape in a book and see queer people having to settle for a half life of stifled unhappiness, resigned to reality because that’s just the way life is. Why do we write fiction if not to bring back some measure of power to our lives with our voices?

So I also thought I would leave unsatisfied by the 'resolution' about the choice to come out or not. 

Until those last couple of lines...

Well, let's just say I liked it better than I thought I would.