𓏵 ⌞ 김재희 x f!reader, smut, fluff, 1.5k ⌝ ∘∘∘ sub!jaehee, profanity, bullying (not from reader!!)
𓏵 watching your friends talk bad about a boy they barely knew frustrated you, but you didn’t know it’d end with you fucking him *ੈ✩‧₊˚
ナナ’s ⦂ ty anon for requesting!! 🫶 alsooo i saw the wishies in incheon for d2 of into the wish 🥹 they were so cute
seeing jaehee sit in the front corner of class, come to school everyday with a perfect attendance, somehow always get perfect results on his tests, it made you more curious about him. everyone, other than his handful of friends, murmured about how ‘weird and quiet’ he was, but you never understood it. you couldn't deny that he was quiet, only seeing him speak when it comes to answering questions, but weird? he was not weird.
you and your friends were sitting in the cafeteria, eating lunch, when the conversation suddenly switched to jaehee.
“he’s so creepy, he never talks to anyone but his friends and the teachers.” one of them said, squinting their eyes at him, who sat on the other side of the hall. “what a freak.”
and for some reason, you found yourself defending him, despite not knowing him. “he’s not creepy? i don’t get why you guys dislike him so much.” all you saw was a sweet boy who preferred to keep to himself.
“he never goes to any of the parties and just stays at home and studies, even when there’s no tests! you can’t tell me that’s normal behaviour.”
hearing your friends shittalk jaehee like this, especially when they didn’t even know him, riled you up. you got up from the bench, took your tray, and went to sit at jaehee’s table instead.
more under the cut ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
as you put your tray down on the table, all of jaehee’s friends watched you with sharp eyes. “hey,” you smiled at jaehee, scooting into the bench. “sorry- is it okay if i sit here?” you realized that you had basically invited yourself to their table, not knowing a single one of them.
you noticed how his cheeks turned a slight hue of red while you spoke to him, biting your cheek to keep yourself from giggling.
“y-yeah, it’s fine.” the corners of his lips tugged up back at you.
the rest of lunch was spent in silence, quiet stares at one another, and the occasional “sorry” when jaehee would accidentally bump knees with you. once the bell rang, you all separated into your classes, leaving you and jaehee alone, walking to class together.
“i don’t get why so many people think you’re weird,” you said, breaking the piercing silence. “i never understood it. you’re really nice, jaehee.”
he hesitated to respond, unsure of what to say. “thanks, y/n.” his voice was sheepish, hand rubbing the back of his neck. “you’re really nice, too.”
after your small interaction, you and jaehee started to hang out more – he even started to help you with work you didn’t understand. you decided to invite over to your house so he could help you with some of your coursework and maybe watch a movie, too.
the second the clock ticked to 4:30pm, your phone buzzed with jaehee’s profile picture popping up.
hey, i’m outside :)
okayyy i’m coming
you unlocked the door, letting jaehee into your dorm and apologizing for the mess.
“sorry, i’ve been busy and haven’t had time to clean up.” you looked at the couch behind you that was littered with papers. but he didn’t respond. he was frozen on the spot, ears turned completely red. “are you okay?”
he finally snapped out of his trance, blinking back into reality. “o-oh, sorry. i’m fine.” his tone was awkward, a nervous laugh slipping out. “should we start working?” he asked, cutting the topic off short.
for the rest of the hangout, he seemed oddly awkward. you thought that you two were over that hurdle, comfortable enough to hang out on your own, but today, he just seemed on edge. you could be asking him a question about how to write something, or how to format it, and he would be staring at you in a trance, at a loss for what to say.
it didn’t make any sense… until you caught him.
both of you were sitting on your bed, supposedly focused on your coursework. “so, do i write it like this? or do i make this a separate part?” you kept your eyes on your laptop’s screen but jaehee wasn’t answering you again. uncertain of why he wasn’t responding, you looked to your side, ending up face to face with him.
you followed his line of vision, which ended up on your chest. he was staring at your chest.
“hey,” you snapped your fingers. “my eyes are up here, jaehee.”
blood immediately rushed to his face. “i’m sorry, y/n, i didn’t mean to!” he buried his face into the palms of his hands, hiding himself from your confrontation.
but you couldn’t blame him. your shirt was cut low and it barely held your chest, your tits basically spilling out of your shirt.
while he was trying to hide his embarrassment, you laughed at his reaction, smiling at how ashamed he was. “it’s fine, jaehee.” you peeled his hands away from his face, which was painted completely red. though when it came to him, it wasn’t fine whatsoever. as much as you tried to ignore it, you couldn’t help but notice the way his dick strained against his sweatpants.
“you’re hard from looking at my tits?” you purred, placing a hand on jaehee’s thigh. “maybe you are a loser.”
jaehee looked down to his pants which had a huge tent in it. “don’t look…” he used his hands to cover himself, but you already decided to help him with it.
“take your pants off.” however, it seemed like jaehee didn’t hear you. “pup, take your pants off.” you tilted his chin up, holding his head to look at you with your fingers.
he slowly got up and tugged his pants down to his ankles, leaving him in his boxers. the way he was sitting like an obedient puppy, the way he was looking at you with glossed eyes, it made you hungry to hear his whimpers as you grinded your core against him.
you clicked your tongue, you run your hand over his thigh, watching as his bulge grew. “take everything off, jae.” he steadily started getting more obedient, following your instructions quicker this time. his cock instantly slipped out of his boxers, slapping against his abdomen. he let out a sharp breath as the cold air hit him, feeling small as you looked down at him.
“stay still,” you pulled your shorts down and positioned yourself over jaehee’s cock, your knees on both sides of him, holding on his shoulders to stabilize yourself while you lined yourself up with him. his cock stretched you out as you sunk down on him, drawing a soft moan out of you as he dug deep in your pussy.
“fuuuck, jae. you’re so big.” you threw your head back in pleasure, arching your back into him. “just hold onto my waist, okay? tell me if it’s too much.”
keeping your pace steady, you moved up and down on his cock, hands wrapped behind his neck. “mngh- so fucking good, pup. filling me up so well.” you continued riding jaehee until his moans got more frequent, telling you he was close.
you dismounted from jaehee’s lap, pulling his cock out from your pussy, deciding to suck him off instead.
“come sit on the edge.” you patted the space on your bed, positioning yourself on the ground, kneeling between his legs. your mouth worked around his tip, swirling your tongue along his slit.
“mmph! feels s’good.” he leaned back on his elbows, shutting his eyes as you took his whole length in your mouth. “fuck, i’m gonna cum, y/n-” without another word, you mouth filled his with load, shooting down your throat.
once you had swallowed all of him, you got up from the ground, sitting beside jaehee who was panting, his chest quickly rising and dropping. his arms wrapped around you hesitantly, as if he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to. but you leaned into his body, giving him more confidence to hold you properly.
“did so good for me, pup.” you held his face with one hand, pressing a kiss to his face, while the other tangled in his hair. “thanks, jae.”
his face was flushed, barely comprehending what you were saying. “y-yeah…”
“c’mon, let’s go shower, baby.” your hands slid from his face down to his abdomen, tracing faint lines over his abs, leaving him all shy under your touch.
but he couldn’t say anything, all he could think about was how good you felt around him. he eagerly nodded, letting you pull him to the bathroom.
by the time you and jaehee had finished showering, you had gotten tired, ready to take a nap. but it seemed like jaehee was still thinking about helping you finish your work.
“so… do you still need help with your coursework?” he asked timidly.
you chuckled at his nervousness, shaking your head. “it’s fine, i wanna go to sleep.” you extended your arms out to him, signalling him to come closer. “c’mere, you’re warm.”
the both of you cuddled on your bed, limbs intertwined with one another’s as you fell asleep in jaehee’s embrace.
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⋆˚꩜｡ wishies and pet names they'd use for their partner !
pairing. nct wish x reader
tags. fluff flufftown central, gn!reader, i think that's all?? 😭
wc. around 0.1k words each
notes. hi hii just a little something while i work on the maknae line ver of my previous post!! actually dk if anyone’s done this here but this is my own take on it!!
꒰ m.list ꒱
sion ˎˊ˗ baby, babe, every iteration of it
you are quite literally his baby so this comes to no one’s surprise
it’s not even always intentional, it just slips out constantly—“baby look,” “baby wait,” “baby c’mon”—like at this point everyone knows you’re his baby
says it when he’s happy, sleepy, whining, teasing… basically any emotion that involves you in some way
especially loves using it when he wants something from you, and you kinda hate how easily you cave into his requests every single time
he lowkey thinks it’s cute how fast you respond to it compared to your real name though, often smiling to himself at the thought
riku ˎˊ˗ pretty
really relishes in the fact you get so flustered every time he calls you this
he also ought to remind you of how lovely you are in his eyes so it’s like hitting two birds with one stone for him!
secretly loves using it when he’s guiding you through something, just slipping it in as if it’s nothing
like he’d casually go, “hey—pretty, look at me for a sec,” and the infuriating part is how natural he sounds saying it while being fully aware of how much it affects you
even when you try to hide your reaction, he notices almost immediately, and it just makes him want to do it again
yushi ˎˊ˗ your name (and nickname)
he’s never really been big on pet names to begin with. in fact, he prefers the way your own name rolls off his tongue more
most of the time, that’s all you ever hear from him, and somehow it already feels intimate
but on days when he’s extra clingy or just craving your attention, he’ll call you by a nickname you reserve for him, and only him, to use
it always catches you off guard—your eyes widen a little, brain short-circuiting because you’re not used to hearing it from him
he notices the surprised look on your face every time he does it, but somehow that just gives him more satisfaction in the moment
jaehee ˎˊ˗ bub
he stumbled upon the pet name one day and immediately thought it was cute
and since he already thought you were cute, the connection just clicked for him without needing to say it out loud
never forgets to tell you that “you did good today, bub.” before the two of you drift off into sleep
his eyes always crinkle into those crescent shapes when he mumbles it out, like he’s smiling even when he’s exhausted
didn’t really mean to keep calling you that, but it eventually became a habit and you liked it so you just never pointed it out
ryo ˎˊ˗ buttercup
this 100% started as a joke and he will never let you forget that
he picked it because it made you cringe and because your reaction was just a little bit too funny to him
though, overtime, you got quite used to it (and he did too) so now you both find it oddly endearing
he still pretends he’s doing it to annoy you, but the fond little smile he gets every time gives him away
sometimes you get looks on the street when he unintentionally calls you that, but the two of you just laugh it off
sakuya ˎˊ˗ babe
he actually strikes me as the type to usually call you by your name, but this pops out once in a while—mainly when he’s a little too excited
he usually comes to you bearing a big smile on his face as he goes “babe, come here! my tamagotchi grew up!” without even registering what he said
there’s always a split second after where he freezes and you know that’s when his brain had finally caught up with his mouth
not like it matters since you’re standing there, looking at him with heart eyes because even though he’s the one using the pet name on you, he somehow ends up being the cute one
if you tease him about it later, he definitely gets shy and laughs it off
Hiii can i request nct wish reaction of them being jealous/protective towards their gf? Thank u so muchh 🫶🏻🫶🏻
⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ PROTECTIVE/JEALOUS WISHIES 🧸ྀི - wc 1075 (in total)
[ extras ] kinda creepy man in yushi's. some members' parts r longer, some shorter. sorry!
ੈ✩‧₊˚ note ! i hope u enjoy this! sorry u had to wait for so long :(
@kstrucknet ˙ . ꒷ 🪽 . 𖦹˙— @neocity-net
┆彡 SION [ 시온 ]
go get them shy boy!
when he’s jealous, he won’t say much: just observe and sulk
protective, though, he’s not afraid to step in!!! will simply tell them to go away, sometimes even grab your hand <3
you were chatting with a cashier, the coffee you ordered slowly becoming cold. you’ve been trying to go back to sion for the past ten minutes but the guy just kept talking.
out of a sudden, you felt a hand sneaking down and connecting with yours. you saw sion and smiled at him.
“i believe there’s a queue to be taken care of” he muttered and glared at the cashier. he just huffed something incoherent and left.
“sorry. i just didn’t have the opportunity to leave” you sighed and sion squeezed your hand with reassurance.
“don’t worry. the coffee better be good or i’ll beat him up” your boyfriend scoffed. you just giggled, knowing too well he wouldn’t even be able to hurt a fly.
┆彡 RIKU [ 前田 陸 ]
truly black cat behavior
he will keep his eyes on you and step in if he senses he’s needed
but when he’s jealous, he will definitely walk up and grab your waist with a small smirk (and if they don’t get the signal, he’ll even sneak a kiss or two)
“yeah but i’m not alone here” you said, for like tenth time this night. yet, the weirdo kept on trying to get your number.
“vouch”
before you saw riku, you felt his warm hand on your hip. he slid it to the back pocket of your jeans.
“everything okay? the line to the bathroom was crazy” riku asked, starting down at the guy coldly.
“yes, i was just, uh, going” the man said. your boyfriend pressed a kiss onto your cheek and watched the stranger leave.
“and you? are you okay?” he asked. you grinned, nodding. now that he was here, you were.
┆彡 YUSHI [ 得能勇志 ]
shy observer v2
he trusts you. sometimes he’ll get pouty afterwards (no worries, kisses fix him!)
and if there’s a situation when he has to intervene, he will. calmly… intimidatingly so.
you were simply grocery shopping, you and yushi split up to make it quicker. but you’ve been stuck at the vegetable section for fifteen minutes now. you met an old friend but he seemed to be more interested if you’re single. and you kept saying you’re not.
“i really need to go. my boyfriend and i are in a hurry–“ you said.
“i don’t see him” he shrugged. just when you wanted to leave, the man grabbed your wrist.
“sir, she’s clearly uncomfortable” yushi’s voice sounded from behind you and you let out a sigh of relief.
“and you are…?” your old friend asked.
“yushi. y/n’s boyfriend. now please let her go or i’ll have to call the security” yushi said with a straight face, dead serious. the guy gave up and left quickly. you grabbed yushi’s hand and he just placed a soft kiss on your head “sorry it took so long”
┆彡 JAEHEE [ 재희 ]
in both cases he will walk up to you and the person
hand on your arm, joining the conversation and making it very clear by his cold gaze that he’s not liking the way you’re being talked to
might get shy if you tease him about it later tho >:P
you could feel jaehee’s gaze burning holes through you. the waiter at the check out clearly didn’t, though. and didn’t mind the line forming behind you, apparently.
“extra sugar in your coffee? because you’re so sweet, hm?” he winked.
“well, that one is for my boyfriend–“ you started and were startled by jaehee’s hand suddenly on your arm.
“why is it taking so long? did the card decline?” he asked coldly, staring at the worker. his jaw was clenched, clearly not in the mood. he just wanted to share a coffee with his partner.
“no, sir. just the receipt, here you go”
┆彡 RYO [ 廣瀬遼 ]
depends in which mood he’s in 😭
bc ryo can either act all silly and just … walk up and tell a fun fact abt you (“she snores so loudly in her sleep… yeah… it’s awful if you ask me”)
OR he can full on just tell them to go away
you were flattered that someone tried to flirt with you but you really had enough. you just wanted to buy a perfume for your aunt and not…
“now this floral scent would perfectly match a lovely lady like you–“ the employee furrowed their brows when they saw ryo.
“this lovely lady is a very messy eater, by the way. like, the chaos after dinner… all the food somehow ends up everywhere but the plate” ryo said, not looking away from a perfume he was testing “not the mention her face. always gotta clean it up. like a baby.”
“ryo, what are you…” you frowned, confused.
“yeah. anyway, this smells like something that an old lady would wear. so perfect” ryo pointed and smiled “she mentioned it that it’s not for her”
the employee’s face turned red - not sure if it was because of ryo’s bluntness or the fact that he failed to get your number.
┆彡 SAKUYA [ 藤永咲哉 ]
this lil motherfucker (lovingly)
you’re not gonna hear the end of it if he’s jealous 😭 but he somehow manages to make it your fault ?!
and when he gets protective, he’s ready to throw hands (usually you have to stop him. other times the other guy gets confused by the combination of saku’s cute face and aggressive tendencies)
sakuya has been watching the way the employee at the stationary store kept flirting with you shamelessly. and he didn’t like it.
he stepped in, carrying a bunch of pens.
“do you work here? can you help me instead of flirting with my pretty partner? we were just going to draw something for each other but you…” sakuya started nonchalantly and your eyes widened.
“actually, he just helped me pick the best markers” you said and sakuya shrugged.
“i have markers at home, the one you bought for me. you know, we’ve been dating for like half a year and y/n is a very lovely partner. for example…” sakuya started babbling, flustering the employee.
“there’s um, self check out. if you’re in a hurry” they said and walked away, approaching another customer. sakuya just send you a devilish grin.
note: very heavily inspired by my dream buddy on youtube!! i watched the episodes with taesan, tws, and ateez and OMGG they are so KAYOOT!! it's basically where idols play with this baby named bom and try to put her to sleep at the end of the episode.
oh sion
"rookie idols and rookie babysitters!"
this man is ECSTATIC
he looks happier when you enter the room than when bom enters
"HELLOO Y/N-NIM!! oh hi bomi :)"
safe to say, you two suck at this ngl
bom starts crying right away and then you're both like BAYBEE CRYING BAYBEE CRYING WHAT DO WE DO
you take it upon you to pick her up and start patting her back
sion makes funny faces at her and she calms down eventually
when it's time to make food for bom, you and sion are carefully rolling the mixed rice into little balls for her
"your rice balls are so messy, make them neater!" you tease
"they taste the same aNYWAY"
he sneaks a piece into his mouth and is like "MM this actually tastes good!"
"sion, this is for the baby," you say with a laugh
"i know, just making sure it's nice and tasty for her!"
when you're feeding her, you do the little airplane method and sion makes annoying ass sound effects
"here comes the airplane, bom-i!"
"VVRRRROOOOOOMMMMMM!"
"SION."
"VVVOROROOROROMMM-"
you lightly smack sion and bom giggles
"see! she laughed!!!"
"at YOU."
a clip of you two goes viral on twitter where you two are smiling at bom while she's sleeping
@iloveohsion: these two are like young parents kkk they have no idea what they're doing
@wonbinslefttoe: sion and y/n are geeked outtt 😭
@btsarmy979: IM CRYINGG WHO LET THESE IDIOTS ON THE SHOW???
@mintgreenyeti: they're so stupidly cute together we need more sioy/n content!! 🤗
maeda riku
"two babysitters OR two babies, one babysitter?"
riku has two older sisters and he's used to being the youngest of the family
so it's no surprise that when you two are asked to go on the show together, it's basically you taking care of both bom AND riku
the two are playing together with bom's dinosaur toys
"rawwwrrr! i'm gonna get you-"
"riku-chan! can you help me clean up the toys please?"
"RAAAWWRRR! GRAAAH!!"
"i guess i'll do it myself then."
"no- wait i'll help you y/n!"
and when it's time to feed bom her lunch, you have to feed riku too
"bom-i say aahhh!"
"aaahh!"
"not you, riku."
he does eventually help you, cleaning up her plate
"you're a great babysitter, y/n-san." :-)
"that's very sweet of you, riku."
when you two have to put bom to sleep, she's so tired she falls asleep in literally 5 minutes
even bom's mom is surprised
so now u and riku are SPENT and lay down on the floor, falling asleep as well.
the staff have to shake you awake and tell you to go home 😭
at the end of the episode, a clip of you and riku snoring is shown and it's the most replayed part of the video (embarrassingly enough)
@pensaya: 21 minutes of y/n babysitting bom AND riku-chan
@kaiwaitonme: bom is TIRED of their bs I CANTT
@byuneuijoosgf: AWWW them falling asleep together on the floor after putting bom to sleep is so cute :') i love my riky/n!!
@pompompurin27: so is no one gonna talk about how riku was eating bom's food like it was his
tokuno yushi
"the most loving babysitters in the world! so soft even we were getting sleepy"
you and yushi are polar opposites
he's shy, you're far from that
he's soft spoken, and your "whisper" is the volume of his scream
so of COURSE your companies put you two together for this ep
your manager thought it was a horrible idea, but little does he know that opposites attract and that everyone would LOVE u two
the babysitting went by smoothly, with you playing with bom while yushi makes her lunch with careful hands
"bom, where's your nose? say noooseee!"
"y/n, would you like to taste test?"
"oh YES PLEASE!!'
you get up with bom in your arms and head to the kitchen where yushi is
"here you go." he holds up the rice ball near ur mouth
"yushi-kun, i can't grab it, i'm holding bom."
"..." he silently feeds you as you're trying so hard not to laugh
"stop laughing." "i'm not!!" "yes you are."
when it's time to put bom to sleep, you and yushi sing her a lullaby
your voices melt together so perfectly even the staff are getting sleepy
once the episode is over and you two are cleaning, you shoot your shot
"yushi-kun we did so good! we should go celebrate with some boba. whaddya say?"
"sounds good to me. :-)"
the two of you post a selfie at the boba shop and everyone FREAKS OUTTTT
@yushisupperlip: their voices sound SO GOOD together??? no joke i started feeling drowsy when they were singing to bom
@feelinggopop: this episode was so domestic 🥹 it's like they're an actual family! thank u 4 healing us yushy/n!! <3
@chaewonsgirl: the BEST example of yapper wife and listener husband fr
@ih8geometry: mama y papa. y/n and yushi adopt me pls
kim jaehee
"the smiliest babysitters that make themselves laugh more than bom"
not to brag but.... you and jaehee are literally the funniest babysitters ever
from the moment you walked in, you two were already cracking jokes
"y/n-nim have you ever babysitted anyone before?" jaehee asks
"mmm yeah i've looked over miso before."
"miso? who names their kid miso?"
"miso, my cat."
and for some reason neither of you want to set up her lunch box so you argue over it
"jaehee, i'm carrying bom. go set it up."
"but I'M entertaining her!!"
"KIM JAEHEE."
"Y/N L/N."
(you two set it up together as a compromise.)
when it's time to put her to sleep, he pulls out the xylophone and plays a song
"you are too good at this."
"why thank you :)"
you and jaehee sing stupid nursery rhyme songs to put bom to sleep and it works very well!
"i had fun today y/n-nim!" he says as you guys clean up
"so did i!" you smile
"we should hang out sometime."
"or now.." you grin
"i'm not opposed to that."
jaehee posts to his bubble a couple hours later with a pic of you and him at a convenience store
"had an amazing time today :-)"
@ilovecoachbags: BYE not them bringing the ijbol king and queen to the show 😭
@zb1wakeone: WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE IM CTFUUUU
@imsosleepy3: jaehee what is this behavior??? asking y/n to hang out???? can we possibly get another jaey/n selca????
@lokijeonghan: i know the staff had the best time today they were CACKLING behind those cameras
hirose ryo
“the maltese babysitter’s patience is tested”
now who the hellyonte decided it’d be a good idea to put u and ryo in the same room
you are literally the troublemaker of ur group, so best believe ur going to be a menace to the poor man
you’ll just sit there as ryo tends to bom, struggling because she's crying
“y/n-san, can you help me please?”
“with what? you seem like you’re doing perfectly fine”
“PLEASE HELP ME.” you laugh and take bom from his arms
and when you’re feeding bom snacks, he tries to feed her a piece but you snatch it and a take a bite instead
ryo looks at you like 😀 before you burst into laughter and he joins you
"it seems that you're hungry, y/n-" ryo's laugh is getting louder by the second
"i didn't have breakfast before i came"
you offer to put bom to sleep instead since u felt bad for teasing him this whole time
“are you sure?”
“yes, ryo-kun. i’ve caused enough trouble for you today” you say with a chuckle
“no you didn’t, i was having fun” he says while pouting and u resist the urge to pinch his cheek
HES SO KAYOOT
and when bom falls asleep you and ryo take a selfie doing the puppy ears pose and it goes VIRAL
@backon7444: ryo can't catch a break, if it's not sion teasing him it's y/n AXSDGKJ
@sabcarpenter99: y/n really got ryo hooting and hollering 😭😭
@rikushakes: AAAA THEM FEEDING BOM SO CUTE!! my ryoy/n pls never go bald!! <3333
@topofthewworld: their selca is giving me cuteness aggression
fujinaga sakuya
"warning! this video will give you cuteness aggression"
you and sakuya are the vocabulary definition of kawaiimaxxing
when you two arrive to the set you're both in cutesy outfits and the staff jokes that you two are cuter than bom LOL
surprisingly, you two took good care of bom
sakuya's the oldest sibling in his family so he's used to it
bom is so giggly and cheery it's so cute
"i think she thinks we're her age." you say with a chuckle
"we probably should have worn different outfits," saku jokes
you two give bom a full on LECTURE about her dino toys
"bom, can you say spinosaurus?" sakuya says
"she obviously can't say that yet. bom, can you say pterodactyl?"
the two of you are cackling
when it's time to feed bom, you and sakuya just watch her eat and snatch some of her snacks when she's not looking
and then u look at each other like 🤨🤨🤨 did u just steal this baby's food
bom takes a while to fall asleep because she was so energetic that day
you and saku are BEGGING her to fall asleep at this point
"bom PLEASEEE, we're trying to go home" sakuya pleads
"at least pretend to close your eyes" you add
and when she does, you two are so fed up you go out to get hotpot after, posting a selfie with the caption "babysitting shift over"
@mybubblegummy: no offense bom but ur babysitters are so much more adorable !!!! sakuy/n 4 lyfe!!
@ihavecrampskms: WAITT... i NEED both of their outfit details NEOWWW
@justonedaybts: omg not BOTH of them stealing bom's food 😭 LEAVE HER ALONEENEHBW
@strangeandteam: them begging bom to fall asleep and her looking at them like 🙂 had me CRYINGGG
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author's note: if anyone cares the users i created were my current thoughts while writing this HAHA thank u for reading and pls like or reblog if enjoyed <3 have a good day!
+ I LEARNED HOW TO DO CUSTOM TEXTS COLORS IM SO HAPPY
based on this request!! it has been a long time coming. i apologize for the wait 😭
wc : 12.6k (sorry) , pairing : first love!jaehee x first love!yn (fem) , genre : fluff, angst, smut.. full circle wholesome ending <3 (MDNI!!!) , warnings : first relationship, INSECURITY, communication issues, name calling (daeng, baby), ANGST!, mutual virginity loss, fingering, raw sex (don't do that), lots of kissing, yn has some issues to work out but they're pretty cute in the end
synopsis! for years, yn believed she was the kind of person people forgot. but through every twist of fate that brings them back together, jaehee keeps choosing her. as their long-awaited love story finally begins, yn must learn that being seen can be just as frightening as being invisible.
author's note! hi guys. jaehee debut happening.. for a total of probably 10 people because it seems like no one else biases him :( i really enjoyed writing this so i hope you guys will read it even if you don't bias jaehee 😭 i've literally been working on this for MONTHS like i think i started in october 😭 but yeah probably one of my more wholesome couples :3 thank u for reading to the end if u do. leave comments / asks and lmk how it is :)
jaehee was everything you weren’t.
some people move through the world as if it opens for them naturally. doors unlock before they reach them. conversations bend easily in their direction. even silence seems to welcome them. jaehee had always been one of those people.
in middle school, teachers adored him in the quiet, unmistakable way adults sometimes adore children who remind them that goodness can exist without effort. he stayed after class to help stack textbooks into neat piles while everyone else rushed toward the freedom of the afternoon. he carried attendance sheets to the office with both hands like it was something important. teachers trusted him with keys, errands, responsibilities that made his face brighten with shy pride.
you used to watch him from your desk near the window.
sunlight always seemed to find him somehow.
it caught in his hair when he laughed. rested against the curve of his cheek while he listened to someone speak. even then, before you knew what love was supposed to feel like, you thought there was something unfair about the way the world looked around him. softer somehow. kinder.
he was good at talking to people. good at existing around them. people leaned toward him naturally, as if drawn by warmth.
high school only sharpened that quality.
by sophomore year, everyone knew his name. upperclassmen called out to him in hallways crowded with bodies and noise. girls lingered near his desk before class started, pretending to ask him questions they already knew the answers to. teachers smiled when he walked into classrooms. even people who barely knew him spoke about him with familiarity, like he belonged to them a little.
you wondered sometimes what it must feel like to be loved so easily, because you were the opposite.
by sixteen, you had already perfected the art of disappearing.
you sat near the backs of classrooms, near windows, near exits. places where no one’s eyes landed for very long. entire school days passed without your voice surfacing once. sometimes teachers paused when handing your assignments back, a flicker of uncertainty crossing their faces while they tried to remember your name.
you understood your place in people’s lives with painful clarity. you were temporary and forgettable, the sort of person who could leave a room without disturbing the air.
and then there was jaehee.
every morning, without fail, he greeted you.
sometimes it was nothing more than a soft “good morning” as he slid into the desk beside yours. sometimes he smiled at you like he hadn’t seen you in years instead of yesterday afternoon. sometimes he tapped twice against your desk with his knuckles just to get your attention before asking whether you slept enough the night before.
small things that another person might not have remembered them an hour later, but no one had ever made an effort to notice you before. those moments stayed inside you for days.
you began looking for him instinctively. in crowded hallways, across classrooms, through cafeteria windows blurred with afternoon sunlight. when he was absent, something strange settled over your day, a quiet disappointment you hated yourself for feeling so deeply.
jaehee smiled at everyone, but it always felt different when the smile was for you. it was warmer, shyer, somehow.
you noticed it before anything else.
jaehee was effortless around other people. funny, confident, endlessly easy to love. but around you, he faltered in ways so small no one else would have seen them. he held your gaze a second too long before suddenly looking away. his ears turned pink whenever your fingers brushed while exchanging pencils. sometimes he forgot what he was saying halfway through a sentence when you smiled at him unexpectedly.
you noticed everything about him. the way he laughed more softly around you. the way he always chose the seat beside yours even when better ones were open. the way he remembered things you mentioned once months ago, small details even you had forgotten you told him.
once, during math class, he folded a page of notebook paper into a tiny star and slid it onto your desk without looking at you. you kept it inside your pencil pouch for two years.
sometimes, late at night, lying awake beneath the blue glow of your ceiling light, you wondered if he understood what he was doing to you. if he knew that every act of kindness from him lodged itself somewhere deep inside your ribs and stayed there. no one else looked at you the way jaehee did.
the night beneath the stars belonged to the two of you long before either of you admitted it aloud.
no one knew about the field behind the school where the grass bent gently beneath the wind. about the way the sky looked endless above you both while the town slept quietly in the distance. about how jaehee grew quieter after midnight, his voice softer, more careful, like honesty had begun settling into him slowly.
you remember turning toward him once and realizing he was already looking at you. not at the stars, but at you.
his expression changed the second your eyes met. something vulnerable flickered across his face so quickly it almost hurt to witness. then he blushed.
jaehee, who could speak to anyone without hesitation. jaehee, who walked through crowded hallways like he belonged there completely. jaehee, who girls fell in love with without trying. he looked at you like you were the one capable of undoing him.
you thought about that look for months afterward.
you and jaehee graduated high school carrying your secret carefully between you like something fragile.
no one knew how much he adored you, or the paper stars hidden inside your belongings. about the notes he passed during class just to make you smile. about the silence that fell over him whenever you touched him unexpectedly. about the way he once walked you home without saying more than three sentences because you had grabbed his hand first and he was too nervous to think clearly afterward.
no one knew the boy everyone loved looked at you like you were something precious.
maybe the saddest thing was that neither of you said anything about it.
after the graduation ceremony ended, people flooded the field in waves of noise and laughter. parents carried flowers. cameras flashed endlessly beneath the summer heat. you stood there feeling strangely detached from all of it until you saw jaehee searching through the crowd.
the moment he found you, his entire face lit up. you felt it somewhere deep in your chest, like sunlight breaking through clouds after days of rain. you think part of you understood then that you would spend the rest of your life looking for him too.
neither of you expected to end up at the same university, but somehow, impossibly, you did.
college changed you in quiet ways. for the first time in your life, people learned your name quickly. girls on your dorm floor knocked on your door just to ask if you wanted to get food with them. you almost never ate alone anymore. you laughed more easily. you stopped shrinking yourself quite so much. you were happy.
still, every beautiful thing eventually led your thoughts back to jaehee.
sometimes you caught yourself smiling during conversations only to remember the first time he had seen you smile properly in high school. the way his expression froze for half a second. the blush spreading slowly across his cheeks afterward.
“you should smile more,” he had murmured back then, almost embarrassed by his own honesty. “i kind of want to keep it for myself.”
you wondered if he still remembered saying that. you wondered where he was now, if he still laughed too softly when he was nervous, if girls still fell in love with him everywhere he went. if he would recognize your smile now.
early autumn, the university showed a movie in the football stadium. students covered the football field in blankets and hoodies and paper cups filled with soda. the giant stadium screen cast flickering light over hundreds of faces while cold air drifted slowly through the night.
knowing the field was enormous, jaehee told himself there was no possibility the girl sitting beside him could be you. the girl beside him laughed easily and was confident. she sat surrounded by friends, warm beneath the stadium lights, looking like someone who belonged exactly where she was. you didn’t look lonely anymore.
you laughed, and he knew instantly.
after that, he barely watched the movie at all. he watched the light move across your face instead. he watched you tuck your knees closer to your chest when the wind picked up. watched you lean toward your friends while laughing. watched your smile appear and disappear in the glow of the screen like something painfully familiar.
by the time the movie ended, his heart was beating so hard it almost made him feel sick.
students began packing up blankets around you. conversations rose and scattered across the field. somewhere nearby, someone was singing drunkenly off key.
you gathered your things slowly, preparing to follow your friends out through the crowd when a pair of shoes appeared in front of you.
“yn?” he said your name carefully, like he had been carrying it around inside himself for years. he held out his hand toward you.
“jaehee?” your voice sounded smaller than you intended, almost fragile against the noise surrounding you.
for a moment, neither of you moved. you felt suspended somewhere between memory and reality, staring at the boy who had once occupied every quiet corner of your life.
he smiled the same smile that used to ruin you in classrooms and hallways and beneath midnight skies.
“this is crazy,” he said softly, laughing under his breath.
you couldn’t answer. you were too busy realizing that after all this time, he was still looking at you like finding you mattered.
jaehee clears his throat softly, fingers tightening for a second around the strap of his bag. “um,” he says, laughing under his breath in that nervous way you don’t remember him ever doing in high school. “do you maybe wanna get something to eat?”
he gestures vaguely over his shoulder toward the parking lot. “i drove.”
something inside you stumbles. your heart suddenly feels too large for your body, pressing hard against your ribs like it’s trying to escape. before you can overthink yourself into saying no, before the quieter, more frightened parts of you can interfere, you nod. “okay.”
behind you, your friends exchange looks immediately. one of them lifts her brows with obvious curiosity while another tries and fails to hide a smile. normally you would have noticed. normally embarrassment would have spread through you too quickly to ignore.
but all you can focus on is jaehee waiting for you.
the parking lot smells faintly like cold pavement and autumn leaves. the night air has sharpened while you were sitting on the field, and your hands feel chilled against the sleeves of your sweater. jaehee walks half a step beside you, close enough that your shoulder brushes his once accidentally.
his car is warmer than outside, carrying the faint scent of laundry detergent and something distinctly him beneath it. you sit carefully in the passenger seat while he starts the engine, fingers tapping once against the steering wheel like he’s trying to steady himself. for a while, neither of you says much.
streetlights slide across his face in intervals while he drives. gold, shadow, gold again. the city outside the windows feels strangely distant, blurred at the edges. you keep stealing glances at him when you think he isn’t looking.
the diner he takes you to sits near the edge of campus beneath a flickering neon sign that buzzes faintly against the dark. inside, the air smells like coffee, syrup, grease, warmth.
jaehee holds the door open for you automatically, and you thank him too quietly. he slides into the booth across from you, and the vinyl creaks beneath his weight. for a second neither of you reaches for the menus. you just look at each other.
his smile still hasn’t disappeared. it’s the same smile.
“so,” he says finally, leaning back slightly. “you ended up here too.”
you lower your eyes toward the menu to avoid looking at him too directly. his gaze still affects you too easily. warmth creeps slowly into your cheeks under the weight of it.
“how’s it been?” he asks. “settling in, i mean.”
you trace your thumb absentmindedly along the laminated edge of the menu.
“it’s good,” you say quietly. “i’m happy here.”
then, after a second: “i think i’m doing okay.”
jaehee’s expression softens immediately. “i’m glad,” he says, and there’s something painfully sincere about the way he says it. “really.”
you don’t think anyone has ever looked this relieved to hear you’re happy. it makes you nervous in a way that feels almost unbearable. sitting across from him like this feels strangely unreal, like stepping back into a dream you already abandoned. except now he feels a bit older, taller. his voice sits deeper in his chest when he speaks. and he’s still looking at you with that same careful attention that once kept you awake at night.
you realize suddenly that your hands are trembling slightly beneath the table.
“how about you?” you ask quickly, mostly to redirect your thoughts. “how was your summer?”
jaehee laughs softly. the sound settles somewhere deep inside you immediately, familiar enough to ache.
“it was alright,” he says. “pretty boring, honestly.”
he glances toward the window for a second before looking back at you again. “college has been fun though. weird too.”
he smiles faintly. “everyone talks about freedom before you get here, but i didn’t really get it until now. suddenly nobody tells you what to do anymore. you can stay awake until four in the morning if you want. skip class. eat cake for dinner.”
you laugh quietly. his face brightens a little at the sound.
“i probably sound stupid,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “sorry. i’m just…” he hesitates. “really nervous right now.”
you blink. “you’re nervous?” the smile tugging at your mouth grows before you can stop it. “the jaehee?”
he groans softly and drops his head for a second, laughing into his hand. “don’t say it like that.”
“like what?”
“like i’m some guy.”
you look at him for a moment longer than you mean to. to you, he always had been.
jaehee lifts his eyes again eventually, and this time there’s something quieter inside them. something honest.
“if i’m being really honest,” he says slowly, “i never thought i’d see you again.”
the noise of the diner seems to blur faintly around the edges after that.
plates clatter somewhere nearby. a waitress laughs at something near the counter. outside the windows, headlights sweep past in streaks of pale light. but all you can focus on is him.
“ever,” he adds quietly.
his fingers drum once against the table before stilling again.
“seeing you tonight kind of feels like…” he exhales through a soft laugh. “i don’t know. like i got handed a second chance or something.”
you stare at him. “me?”
the word leaves your mouth before you can stop it. somewhere inside yourself, despite everything changing, despite college and new friends and becoming someone easier to love, part of you still believes you are fundamentally forgettable. still believes you were simply the quiet girl from the back row.
jaehee looks at you like the question itself pains him.
“yeah,” he says gently. “you.” his expression shifts then, becoming thoughtful.
“i always wished i talked to you more in high school.”
you feel your pulse quicken. he looks down briefly before continuing.
“i think i was scared.” the confession lands softly between you, almost shy.
you think about the boy you used to watch laughing easily with everyone around him. the boy who seemed completely untouched by fear.
and somehow, impossibly, he had been afraid of you too. or maybe not afraid of you exactly. afraid of wanting you too much.
“i’d really like to see you again,” he says after a while.
his voice has gone quieter now. steadier.
“after tonight, i mean.” he smiles a little, almost embarrassed by his own sincerity. “if you want.”
you lower your eyes because looking at him directly feels dangerous suddenly. your throat tightens unexpectedly.
when you finally manage to nod, his entire face brightens in a way that makes your chest ache. like you’ve just given him something important.
after that night, you and jaehee stop going a single day without speaking.
it happens naturally.
first texts that stretch later into the night than either of you intend. then phone calls while walking back from class. then dinners together, study sessions, wandering through convenience stores at midnight because jaehee suddenly wanted ice cream.
he slips into your life so easily it frightens you sometimes. like he had always belonged there.
you begin noticing things about him constantly.
not dramatic things, but small things. the way he always slows his walking pace without mentioning it so you can keep beside him comfortably. the way he remembers your favorite drink order after hearing it once. the way he listens to you with his entire attention, like your thoughts deserve space in the world.
his kindness is effortless.
that’s what unsettles you most. it isn’t performative kindness, not the kind people wear so others will praise them for it. jaehee’s kindness exists quietly, naturally, in the background of everything he does.
like breathing.
sometimes he reaches for your hand absentmindedly while talking and doesn’t seem to realize he’s doing it. sometimes he looks at you with such open fondness that you have to glance away first. sometimes you catch him staring when he thinks you aren’t paying attention.
those moments affect you more than they should.
because the few scraps of affection you received from him in high school once felt powerful enough to survive on for months. this is different. this is constant, deeper. more terrifying.
one evening you lie beside him in his dorm room while rain taps softly against the windows. your head rests against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm beneath your ear while his fingers drift lazily through your hair.
the room smells faintly like detergent and coffee. his roommate isn’t home.
everything feels unbearably peaceful. you stare at the dim light pooling across the ceiling and think, suddenly, that happiness always feels temporary when you finally touch it. like something borrowed.
“what are you thinking about?” jaehee asks quietly.
you tilt your face slightly toward him. he brushes a strand of hair away from your forehead with such gentleness it almost hurts. you smile faintly. “how happy i am right now.”
he hums softly. “you always say that.”
“because i never thought this would happen to me.”
jaehee smiles in that fond, helpless way he does whenever you say something that breaks his heart a little. “you always say that too.”
his hand settles against the side of your face. after a moment, he speaks again, quieter this time. “i’ve liked you for a really long time, yn.”
your chest tightens.
“remember what i told you the night we met again?”
you nod slowly against him. “that it felt like you got a second chance.”
“yeah.”
he looks down at you then with an expression so soft it almost feels sacred. “i think maybe we were always supposed to find each other again.”
your throat aches unexpectedly.
“i like you too much for it not to be you.”
the words settle inside you slowly. you push yourself up slightly so you can look at him properly.
his eyes are sleepy and affectionate beneath the dim room light. his hair falls softly across his forehead. he looks at you like you are something worth protecting.
“i like you a lot too, daeng,” you whisper.
his smile appears instantly. then he kisses you slowly and gently the way he always does, like he’s afraid of rushing something precious.
his thumbs brush softly against your cheeks while he kisses you, and suddenly you can feel all of it at once. all the love sitting quietly inside him. all the care. all the tenderness he gives you so naturally.
it overwhelms you. your chest tightens painfully. before you realize it, you’re pulling away. the distance appears between you too quickly.
jaehee stills immediately.
you look down instead of at him, settling your head back against his chest like hiding there might save you from explaining yourself. because some part of you still cannot understand how someone like him could love you this gently without eventually regretting it.
his hand hesitates briefly before returning to your hair. careful, always so careful with you.
“can we play xbox now?” you ask softly after a while. you force yourself to smile a little when you look up at him. jaehee smiles back, but this one is smaller. fainter around the edges.
without saying anything, he sits up and reaches for the controller across the room before placing it carefully into your hands. you hate the guilt that arrives immediately afterward. hate the way disappointment flickers across his face even when he’s trying to hide it from you.
when he starts to move away from the bed, you catch his wrist gently. “you’re not playing with me?”
“you can start without me,” he says. his voice remains soft. it’s always soft with you.
“i’m making our reservation for saturday.”
“reservation?” you blink up at him. “for what?”
he glances back over his shoulder. “that steak place downtown.”
you stare at him for a second, then laugh quietly. “baby,” you murmur, “it’s only our three month anniversary.”
jaehee’s expression changes immediately. serious now. earnest in that way that always catches you off guard. “yeah,” he says simply. “and i waited two years to have you properly.”
your heart stumbles again.
he looks at you for another second before speaking more quietly. “i want to celebrate every month i get with you.”
something warm unfolds slowly inside your chest. you always knew jaehee was romantic in the quiet ways that mattered. but sometimes his sincerity still catches you unprepared, arriving so honestly that you don’t know what to do with it.
you look down at the controller in your lap so he won’t see how affected you are.
“you’re too lovely for me,” you mumble eventually.
he hears you anyway. of course he does.
the dinner happens a week later.
even before jaehee arrives, you know you look beautiful. not in an arrogant way, but quietly. your curls fall perfectly for once. your dress fits like it belongs to you. when you look at yourself in the mirror, you almost understand what jaehee sees.
almost.
when he picks you up, he stops walking for half a second after the door opens. then he smiles so brightly you feel shy immediately. he’s holding flowers. of course he is. somehow they match your dress perfectly.
“wow,” he says softly. the word leaves him like breath. he presses a kiss against your cheek before you can respond, lingering just long enough to make your pulse flutter.
“every time i see you,” he murmurs near your ear, “i feel like the luckiest guy alive.”
you spend the entire drive trying not to smile too hard.
inside the restaurant, warm golden light pools across polished tables and wine glasses. jaehee keeps his hand against your waist while walking beside you, fingers spread gently like he wants reassurance you’re really there.
you like how small you feel next to him. safe, somehow. like if the world became too loud, he would quietly move in front of you and soften it.
the waiter seats you near the corner by a dim lamp and asks casually whether you’re celebrating anything special tonight.
before you can answer, jaehee says:
“our one year anniversary.”
your eyes widen immediately.
the waiter congratulates you warmly while jaehee squeezes your hand beneath the table like he’s trying not to laugh. once the waiter leaves, you stare at him across the candlelight. “why would you say that?”
he shrugs easily. “it’s not technically impossible.”
you laugh despite yourself. he watches you the entire time like your happiness is something worth memorizing.
later, when the food arrives, jaehee cuts your steak for you without thinking much about it. you find yourself staring at his hands. then his wrists. then the shape of his forearms beneath the rolled sleeves of his sweater.
before you can stop yourself, the words slip out. “everything about you is attractive.”
jaehee looks up immediately, caught off guard. “oh?”
you nod, suddenly unable to become shy about it. “your hands. your arms. your face.” you pause. “everything.”
he stares at you for a second like he can’t fully process what he’s hearing. then he laughs softly. “it’s good to know you actually like me too.”
your chest twists strangely at the joke.
“what?”
the word leaves you more quietly than intended. because haven’t you been trying to show him? haven’t you been loving him with everything you have?
before you can ask what he means, another voice interrupts, bright and familiar.
“jaehee?”
your stomach drops instantly.
you recognize her before she even fully steps toward the table.
she was beautiful in high school in the effortless kind of way that made other people rearrange themselves around her. teachers adored her. classmates orbited her naturally. she always seemed lit from within somehow. the sort of girl who belonged beside someone like jaehee.
she smiles at you politely, but you know immediately she doesn’t remember you at all.
jaehee smiles back easily. “hey. wow, it’s been forever.”
while they speak, you sit quietly beside him, hands folded carefully in your lap.
you remember her laughing with him in classrooms years ago, and how naturally they occupied the same spaces. she tells him about the nearby college she attends now. tells him she noticed him from across the restaurant and almost couldn’t believe it.
then jaehee turns toward you without hesitation. “it was nice seeing a familiar face again,” he says, smiling softly at you.
your chest tightens.
the girl blinks. “wait,” she says. “you two knew each other before?”
she looks at you apologetically, blankly. “i don’t think i do,” she admits.
then, after a second:
“but i definitely would’ve remembered someone this pretty.”
you smile politely because it feels expected.
jaehee laughs under his breath. “we all had math together for like two years.”
“it’s okay,” you say quietly. “i was really shy back then.”
the girl’s expression softens.
“that’s such a shame,” she says. “we probably would’ve been friends.”
you nod politely again even though you know that isn’t true.
girls like her didn’t notice girls like you back then, not really. people like you now because you learned how to become easier to love. you learned how to speak more clearly. smile at the right moments. dress better. hide the lonelier parts of yourself beneath prettier ones.
after she leaves, something inside you shifts quietly.
your appetite disappears. you push food around your plate while jaehee talks, still smiling softly at you from across the table, completely unaware of the spiral beginning beneath your skin.
because suddenly all you can think is this:
someone like him should be with someone like her, bright and effortless who shines naturally in every room they enter. not someone who spent most of her life trying to disappear.
the next week, the thoughts return so quietly you almost mistake them for instinct.
they arrive while you’re brushing your teeth in the morning. while waiting for your coffee to cool. while staring at yourself in bathroom mirrors too long. small thoughts at first, harmless enough on their own.
someone like him should be with someone brighter, someone easier. someone who doesn’t have to think so hard about being loved.
you try to ignore them.
but thoughts like that rarely disappear once they find somewhere comfortable to live.
the library is louder than usual that afternoon.
someone nearby keeps laughing too hard at things that aren’t funny, and every few minutes a chair scrapes loudly against the floor. sunlight filters weakly through the tall windows, turning the dust in the air gold for a second before it disappears again.
you sit beside jaehee at the long wooden table while his friends spread notebooks and laptops around you in messy piles.
you only came because he asked. because when jaehee looks at you hopefully and says come with me, it becomes difficult to say no to anything.
still, by the time you arrive, you can already feel yourself rationing energy carefully inside your own body. measuring out pieces of your attention. saving enough warmth for him so he won’t notice how tired your mind feels lately.
jaehee, meanwhile, looks completely natural here.
he leans back in his chair laughing at something one of his friends says, eyes crinkling softly at the corners. people speak over each other constantly around him, conversations splitting and reconnecting like tangled strings, but somehow he keeps up with all of it effortlessly.
you watch him while pretending to read over your notes. you’ve always loved seeing him like this, comfortable and wanted. people gravitate toward him without realizing they’re doing it. his presence softens rooms. fills silence naturally. even now, surrounded by loud voices and overlapping conversations, everyone still seems faintly tuned toward him, waiting for his reaction, his laugh, his attention.
you realize suddenly that you still don’t know how to exist like that.
you thought maybe college had changed you more than it actually had.
but sitting here beside people who speak so easily, who interrupt each other confidently and take up space without apology, you feel that familiar shrinking sensation beginning again inside your chest. like everyone else learned something about living that you somehow missed.
the conversation shifts toward bad professors. someone across the table complains dramatically about a chemistry lecture, and another person immediately joins in. everyone begins talking at once.
you open your mouth carefully. “i had a professor like that too last semes—” your voice disappears beneath the noise almost instantly.
nobody notices. the conversation keeps moving forward without pausing long enough for you to catch up again.
heat crawls slowly up your neck. you lower your eyes toward your notebook and pretend not to mind.
then, gently, someone nudges your arm. “you did?”
you look up. jaehee is already watching you. his chin rests loosely against his hand, expression soft with attention, like your unfinished sentence was the most important thing he heard all afternoon.
your chest tightens unexpectedly.
“yeah,” you mumble. suddenly your throat feels too dry to continue. you hadn’t even realized he was listening to you at all.
his eyes linger on your face for another second. “you okay?” he asks quietly.
he leans closer when he says it, voice dropping instinctively softer for you than it is for anyone else.
your pulse stutters painfully.
he’s always like this, paying attention and noticing the smallest shifts in you before anyone else can.
immediately the questions begin again, cruel and familiar.
do you deserve someone who looks at you this carefully?
is this really love, or is jaehee simply kind enough to make anyone feel special?
how could someone like him possibly want someone like you this much?
what exactly did he see in you all those years ago?
“jesus,” one of his friends groans suddenly from across the table. “you two are disgusting.”
everyone laughs.
“seriously,” another says. “i can’t even focus with all the staring.”
you feel your face burn instantly. jaehee only smiles. not embarrassed or defensive—just quietly pleased. he glances toward you again afterward, eyes warm in that unbearable way they always are.
“how’d you guys even meet?” someone asks a second later.
you instinctively part your lips to answer, but jaehee speaks first.
“i liked her forever in high school,” he says simply. the words land so casually that for a second nobody reacts.
then someone whistles dramatically across the table.
jaehee laughs under his breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “we just didn’t start dating until last semester.”
he looks at you when he says it. directly at you. like even now, after finally having you, the fact still feels unreal to him.
“crazy, right?”
the conversation shifts again almost immediately after that. someone starts talking about dorm parties. someone else complains about midterms. laughter rises and falls around you in waves, but you barely hear any of it. because your chest still aches strangely from hearing him say it aloud so easily.
i liked her forever.
as if loving you had always been obvious to him.
jaehee keeps checking on you throughout the afternoon.
small glances, small touches. his knee brushing yours beneath the table. his hand sliding absentmindedly across the back of your chair.
every time he laughs, his eyes find you automatically afterward, like some part of him needs to make sure you’re still there too. and somehow, that only makes the ache inside you worse. because the more openly he loves you, the less you understand why.
the change begins quietly after that.
it happens so quietly neither of you fully notice it at first.
it starts with your kisses. not the kisses themselves, exactly, but the endings of them.
where you once melted easily into him, now something in you hesitates. your lips still meet his softly, your hands still curl against his sweater, but the moment his affection becomes too visible, too sincere, panic flickers somewhere deep inside your chest.
you pull away earlier now. sometimes right when his hands settle at your waist. sometimes when his thumbs brush too tenderly against your cheeks. or when he kisses you with too much feeling and you suddenly cannot bear being looked at so lovingly.
every time, jaehee pauses, but he never complains. he only presses his forehead gently against yours afterward, breathing quietly while he waits for you to settle again.
like he’s afraid of startling you. like he thinks patience alone might protect whatever fragile thing has started forming between you.
then your texts begin changing too.
once, your conversations stretched endlessly into the night. rambling thoughts. blurry photos. voice messages filled with half-finished sentences and laughter.
now your replies grow shorter without meaning to.
i’m okay.
just tired.
miss you too.
the words still say the right things, but something inside them has thinned. even you can feel it.
jaehee notices too.
late at night, lying alone in bed, he rereads your messages searching for signs he missed earlier. some hidden shift in tone, or some mistake he made accidentally, but he can’t find one.
when you’re together, you seem present and distant at the same time. you still smile at him, but your smiles disappear faster now.
sometimes you sit curled beside him with your hands folded tightly in your lap, shoulders slightly hunched inward, unconsciously trying to make yourself smaller again. jaehee notices that too. he notices everything about you.
the way you say you’re tired more often lately. the way your eyes drift somewhere unreachable in the middle of conversations. the way you rest against his chest without fully relaxing into him anymore. like part of you remains tense even in his arms.
“you okay?” he asks one evening while brushing his fingers through your hair. always gently. always softly.
you nod too quickly.
“yeah,” you whisper. “i’m fine.”
jaehee wants to believe you, so he does. or at least he tries to.
but afterward he starts holding you longer when you hug him goodbye. starts kissing your forehead more carefully. starts watching your face when he says something affectionate, like he’s trying to memorize where your reactions changed.
when you pull away from kisses now, he lets you. even though disappointment flashes briefly across his face before he hides it again, because hurting you is the last thing he ever wants to do.
at night, when you fall asleep curled beside him, jaehee stays awake longer than usual.
the room remains dark except for the faint glow of streetlights slipping through the blinds.
he listens quietly to your breathing against his chest. he counts the slow rise and fall of it and wonders when exactly you started feeling so far away from him.
he doesn’t know the reason yet. he only knows something inside you is hurting and whatever it is, you’ve decided to carry it alone.
being home again feels wrong in a way you can’t properly explain.
nothing here has changed.
the same framed photos still line the hallway walls. the same clock in the kitchen ticks too loudly at night. even the air feels identical to the one you left behind months ago, heavy and still and impossible to escape once it settles inside your lungs.
your childhood bedroom looks smaller now, or maybe you’re the one who changed.
when your parents mention driving an hour away to visit relatives for the weekend, you shake your head before they even finish asking.
“i’m just not really feeling up to it,” you murmur.
they accept the answer easily.
you’re grateful for that because the truth is you can already feel yourself unraveling here. being back home resurrects parts of yourself you thought you left behind when you moved away for college.
the loneliness returns first, then the silence. you’d forgotten how loud silence could become in this house.
during high school, entire afternoons used to pass without anyone saying your name once. you remember sitting alone in your room while daylight slowly disappeared outside your window, feeling time stretch endlessly around you like something living.
you remember walking through school hallways convinced nobody would notice if you vanished midway through the day.
you remember sitting beside classroom windows watching seasons change outside while your own life remained painfully still.
except for him.
jaehee existed in those memories like warmth exists inside winter. small at first, then suddenly everywhere. you remember the sound of his voice saying good morning to you each day like it was the most natural thing in the world.
you remember how shocking it felt the first time someone looked genuinely happy to see you.
how his smile reached you before his words ever did. soft, bright, real. there were mornings when that smile alone carried you through entire days.
sometimes you think jaehee saved your life without realizing it.
you squeeze your eyes shut against the thought. because lately, you barely see him smile at all. and the worst part is knowing exactly why.
you.
the realization settles slowly inside you, cold and permanent. you think about the way he watches you now—carefully. like he’s trying not to startle something wounded.
you think about how often concern flickers across his face these days. how he hesitates before touching you sometimes, like he’s become afraid of pushing too hard and losing you completely.
you think about the exhaustion hidden underneath his gentleness lately. the dimness slowly replacing his light. he shouldn’t have to love someone this carefully.
jaehee was never meant to become cautious.
he was born to exist brightly, to laugh loudly in crowded rooms. to love freely without fear. and now every soft thing he does feels restrained by the possibility of hurting you. especially not for someone like you.
outside, rain has been falling since morning. the kind that seems furious with the earth itself. it slams against the windows relentlessly, turning the sky dark enough that afternoon resembles evening. the entire house feels submerged beneath gray light.
you sit on the edge of your bed holding your phone in both hands. jaehee’s name glows softly against the screen. your thumb hovers above it.
i need to let him go.
the thought arrives quietly. because if you love someone properly, shouldn’t you want what’s best for them?
even if what’s best means losing them?
your chest aches so badly it feels difficult to breathe.
you stare at his name one second longer before there’s a knock at your door. your entire body freezes.
another knock.
your heartbeat lurches painfully against your ribs as you stand. somehow, before opening the door, you already know it’s him. jaehee stands on the other side completely soaked through.
for a second, you can only stare.
rainwater drips steadily from his hair onto the porch beneath him. his shirt clings damply against his skin, his jacket heavy and dark with water. he’s breathing hard enough that his chest rises unevenly beneath the fabric.
he ran here.
your first instinct is immediate and overwhelming—hold him, pull him inside. wrap your arms around him and apologize for every terrible thing your mind has convinced you of these past few weeks. instead, guilt crashes into you just as quickly. the look on his face already tells you you’ve hurt him more than you realized.
“jaehee?” your voice comes out smaller than intended. “did you run here?”
without thinking, you lift your hand toward his face. toward the rainwater sliding down his skin. toward him.
but halfway there, you stop yourself. your fingers curl inward, your arm falls back to your side.
something inside jaehee visibly crumples at the sight. he closes his eyes briefly, lips pressing together hard enough to tremble, like even that small hesitation wounded him.
when he opens his eyes again, they look unbearably tired.
“i can’t do this anymore, yn.”
your stomach drops instantly. there it is. the ending you’ve been preparing yourself for. still, hearing it aloud feels like stepping off something tall unexpectedly.
“you…” your voice catches painfully. “you can’t do this anymore?”
tears sting immediately behind your eyes. jaehee drags both hands down his soaked face. “i can’t,” he says again, but this time his voice breaks apart halfway through the sentence. “i can’t.”
rain hammers against the roof around you. somewhere in the distance, thunder rolls low across the sky.
“come inside,” you whisper desperately. “please. let’s just talk inside.”
“no.” he shakes his head instantly. water flicks from his hair with the motion. “i’m not going inside until you tell me what i did wrong.”
you stop breathing. for a second, you genuinely think you misheard him. “…what?”
his expression twists. “i did something wrong,” he says, voice cracking open completely now. “right? that’s why you’ve been pulling away from me?”
he swallows hard. “that’s why you don’t like me anymore?”
your heart breaks so suddenly it almost feels physical. out of every possible explanation, that’s the one he chose. that you stopped loving him.
“do you still like me, yn?” he asks quietly. the hope in his eyes almost destroys you. small, fragile, still there anyway.
you open your mouth. nothing comes out. the silence stretches too long. you watch the exact moment something inside him dims.
he laughs weakly then, but the sound barely resembles one. “okay,” he says softly, nodding to himself more than to you. “okay. i’m sorry for coming here. i shouldn’t have.”
rainwater mixes with tears on his face so completely you can’t separate them anymore.
“just pretend this never happened.” he turns and starts walking back into the storm.
“jaehee.” your voice disappears beneath the rain.
he keeps walking. panic tears through you instantly.
“jaehee!” louder this time.
your body moves before your thoughts can catch up. you run after him into the rain without shoes, without a jacket, without caring how cold it feels. water soaks through your clothes immediately. “jaehee!”
finally he stops and turns around slowly. the expression on his face steals the air from your lungs. he looks devastated.
“you didn’t do anything wrong,” you cry. the words barely leave your mouth before sobs begin shaking through you.
jaehee’s face twists. “then talk to me,” he pleads. “please. just tell me where all of this went wrong.”
you want to move closer to him. you want to let him hold you. shame keeps your feet rooted painfully in place.
“i never meant to hurt you,” you whisper through tears. “i’m just not good for you, daeng.”
his brows pull together immediately, like the sentence itself makes no sense to him. “…what?”
rain pours down both of you mercilessly now.
“since we started dating,” you sob, “you’re the only one who’s been happy because of this. all i do is make you worry. you’ve become this…” your voice cracks violently. “this shell of yourself around me.” you can barely breathe anymore. the words spill out too quickly to stop now.
“the smile that made me fall in love with you is gone because of me.”
jaehee’s face crumples completely.
“being back here made me realize something,” you continue shakily. “back then, seeing you every day was the only reason i wanted to go to school at all.” your shoulders shake violently.
“just thinking maybe you’d say hi to me that morning meant everything.” a broken laugh escapes you.
“your smile represented a life worth living to me, jaehee.”
his eyes shine instantly.
“and now i’m the reason you barely smile.” you wrap your arms around yourself instinctively, trying to contain the shaking inside your body.
“someone like you shouldn’t be with someone like me.” the sentence tastes old and familiar, like something you’ve believed your entire life.
“you deserve someone brighter. someone unforgettable. someone who shines the way you do.”
your voice drops into something smaller. “not someone this easy to lose.”
“yn,” jaehee says desperately, closing the distance between you in two quick steps. “you’re not making any sense.”
his hands cup your face despite the rain. warm even now. gentle even now.
“you were the reason i smiled back then, too,” he says.
his voice breaks halfway through.
“you know that, right?”
you shake your head immediately because no—how could that possibly be true?
“no,” he says quickly, reading your expression instantly. “no, you couldn’t have known. but i need you to hear me now.” his hands tremble slightly against your cheeks.
“i need you to believe me.”
“i do,” you whisper automatically.
“no, you don’t.” his voice rises for the first time, raw with hurt.
“you don’t believe anything i say about you.”
rainwater clings to his lashes as he looks at you like he’s trying to reach inside your chest and pull the truth out himself.
“you have no idea what you mean to me, yn.”
“because why would someone like me mean anything to someone like you?” you cry back suddenly. the words rip out of you before you can stop them.
something inside jaehee breaks visibly at hearing them. “what does that even mean?” he asks. his voice sounds wrecked now, completely wrecked.
every terrible thought you’ve carried quietly for years begins to spill out.
“i’ve always felt small,” you sob. “like i barely exist half the time. like if i disappeared nobody would really notice.”
jaehee’s hands tighten around your face instinctively, but you keep going.
“i spent my whole life believing i was replaceable,” you cry. “that there’s always someone prettier or louder or easier to love waiting right behind me.”
your breath catches painfully in your chest. “being with you felt impossible.” your voice weakens. “like i stole happiness that belonged to somebody else.”
you look at him through blurred vision. “every morning i woke up expecting you to realize i wasn’t enough.” the confession leaves you shaking.
“you made me feel seen,” you whisper brokenly. “do you understand that? being with you is the happiest i’ve ever been in my entire life.” your body folds inward with the force of your sobbing.
“and i want to stay,” you cry. “i want to stay with you so badly. but my head keeps telling me i ruin everything i touch.”
rain streams endlessly down both your faces.
“i’m scared i’ll keep hurting you,” you whisper. “i’m scared i’ll keep pulling away until eventually you stop loving me.” your chest aches so badly it feels unbearable now. “i don’t want to be this way anymore.”
before you can say anything else, jaehee pulls you into him.
like he physically cannot stand another second with distance between you. his arms lock around you tightly beneath the rain. you feel his heartbeat slamming wildly against your cheek.
“i love you,” he says into your wet hair, certain and fierce.
“and you need to start believing that because it’s true.” his voice trembles.
“i’m not leaving you.”
you cry harder against him.
“none of those things matter to me,” he continues desperately. “the things you hate about yourself. nobody sees you the way you see yourself, yn.”
he pulls back just enough to look at you again. his eyes are red now. “everyone loves you.” the conviction in his voice hurts almost as much as the tenderness. “you’re incredible because you’re you.”
his thumb brushes shakily beneath your eye. “and i’m in love with you.”
you stare at him helplessly.
rain runs down the bridge of his nose, through his lashes, across his trembling mouth.
“i only stopped smiling because i thought i was losing you,” he whispers. “i thought i ruined us somehow.”
his forehead presses against yours. “but if you let me keep loving you…” his voice softens into something unbearably gentle. “i’ll smile again. i promise.”
something inside your chest finally gives way then, like unclenching a fist you didn’t realize you’d held for years. you nod through tears.
“you don’t have to carry everything alone anymore,” jaehee whispers.
his hands cradle your face like something precious.
“lean on me.”
rain pours around both of you endlessly.
“trust me.”
you close your eyes. for the first time in weeks, the storm inside your head quiets slightly. not gone, but quieter.
“you said you’re the only one who’s happy because of this,” jaehee murmurs. “but just being near you makes me happier than anything else in my life.” his mouth trembles into the faintest smile. “even thinking about you makes me smile.”
then he kisses you.
this time, when his love reaches for you, you don’t run from it. you let yourself stay.
you cry into the kiss and feel him doing the same, rainwater and tears blending together until neither of you can tell them apart anymore.
the storm continues raging around you, wild and alive. but held in his arms like this, you begin wondering if maybe love was never something you had to earn through becoming smaller.
maybe it was always supposed to feel like being found.
by the time you and jaehee make it back to your house, neither of you are crying anymore.
the storm still follows behind you in soft echoes. rain taps steadily against the roof while you unlock the front door with trembling fingers, the sleeves of your sweatshirt still damp at the cuffs.
you suddenly become hyperaware of everything. the sound of your breathing. the wet footprints trailing behind the two of you across the hardwood floor. the fact that jaehee is standing inside the place where you once spent years feeling painfully alone.
for a second, neither of you speak. you disappear briefly into the hallway closet and return with a towel.
“here,” you murmur softly.
jaehee takes it from you carefully, like even now he’s afraid sudden movements might scare you away again.
his fingers brush yours. warm. you can’t remember the last time touch felt this fragile. without really thinking about it, your hand slips into his. your fingers interlock naturally, automatically, and relief moves quietly through your chest when he squeezes back immediately.
you lead him upstairs.
your bedroom door creaks softly when you push it open. jaehee steps inside slowly. his eyes move across the room with quiet curiosity, taking in pieces of you that existed long before he did.
the old bookshelf beside your desk. the fading photographs tucked into the corner of your mirror. the small lamp near your bed casting everything in warm gold light. for some reason, having him here makes your chest ache.
you move toward your overnight bag quickly before you can think too hard about it.
rummaging through it, you pull out a folded sweatshirt and sweatpants. his sweatshirt. his sweatpants.
you freeze for half a second after realizing what you’ve just revealed accidentally. because of course they’re his. you brought them home selfishly, for nights when you missed him too much.
when you finally turn around and hand them to him, your cheeks already feel warm.
jaehee looks down at the clothes, then back at you. he laughs softly. not mockingly. something gentler than that. fond enough to make your stomach twist.
you look away immediately.
“i just…” you mumble, embarrassed now in a way that feels strangely domestic after everything that happened outside. “i liked wearing them.”
his expression softens so visibly it almost hurts to look at. you clear your throat quickly before the warmth in your chest becomes unbearable.
“i, um…” your voice catches awkwardly. “i don’t think i have underwear for you to change into.”
silence. then jaehee laughs again, brighter this time. his wet hair falls into his eyes slightly when he does. you think it might be the first real laugh you’ve heard from him in weeks. the sound makes something unclench inside you instantly.
“i think i’ll survive,” he says.
your face burns harder. he watches you for another second with obvious affection before finally disappearing into the bathroom to change.
the moment the door clicks shut, you exhale shakily. your room suddenly feels smaller with him inside it. more intimate. like every object surrounding you now carries the possibility of being noticed by him.
you change quickly into one of his oversized t shirts and a pair of soft shorts, pulling the fabric over your skin carefully. the shirt smells faintly like his detergent still, like him.
you don’t bother putting on a bra.
for once, the thought of being perceived by him doesn’t immediately make you panic. it only makes your heartbeat soften strangely.
jaehee steps out of the bathroom after changing. his damp hair curls slightly near his forehead. the sleeves of his sweatshirt swallow his hands halfway. you realize suddenly that you’ve never seen him look this soft before.
quietly, the two of you gather the soaked clothes from earlier. your fingers brush occasionally while stuffing fabric into the washer downstairs. neither of you let the other drift too far away for even a second.
when you return upstairs, jaehee sits back carefully against your bed frame with a tired exhale. the mattress dips beneath his weight.
his eyes drift slowly around the room again. “so this is your room,” he says softly.
you lean against your desk for a moment before smiling faintly. “the one and only.” the words leave you lighter than expected. maybe because he’s here now. maybe because this room no longer feels entirely lonely.
jaehee’s gaze lingers on you. there’s still something almost disbelieving in the way he looks at you tonight. like he keeps remembering he almost lost this. almost lost you.
“it’s nice,” he murmurs.
you shrug awkwardly. then, after a small pause, you admit quietly:
“you’re actually the only person who’s ever been in here.” you hesitate. “other than my parents.”
the room falls silent afterward.
you watch the realization settle slowly across jaehee’s face. suddenly you can tell he doesn’t know whether to smile or feel heartbroken. because to him, it means trust. but it also means loneliness. years of it.
before either of you say anything else, jaehee reaches for you. his hands slide around your waist gently, pulling you closer until you’re standing between his knees.
the movement feels instinctive. his forehead presses briefly against your stomach through the thin fabric of his shirt. for a second, neither of you move at all.
you look down at him quietly.
his hair is still slightly damp beneath your fingers when you begin brushing them through it absentmindedly. soft strokes. careful ones.
jaehee closes his eyes almost immediately at the touch.
his arms tighten around your waist.
you continue running your fingers through his hair while rain murmurs softly against the windows behind you.
and standing there in the middle of your childhood bedroom, with jaehee holding you like you’re something worth protecting, you realize this is the first time the room has ever felt warm.
the feeling makes you want to share your warmth in the only way you can think of.
you play with his hair for another minute, running the damp strands between your fingers. then you move your hands to cradle his face. the sudden gesture makes jaehee loosen his hold on your waist.
you lean down until your lips find his.
when you kiss him first, jaehee’s eyes widen in surprise. he can’t remember the last time you initiated any form of physical affection. but now your thumbs are brushing over his cheeks, and you’re kissing him with everything you have. he melts into you immediately, kissing you back with the same quiet desperation.
jaehee rises to his feet without breaking the kiss. his hands move from your face to your shoulders, then back to your waist. he gathers the fabric of your shirt in his fists as he kisses you clumsily, and your hands wander over his broad frame. when your cold fingers slip beneath the hem of his shirt and brush against his skin, his entire body shivers.
a soft groan escapes him when you flatten your palms against his bare back, pulling him impossibly close. he can feel your chest against his through both of your shirts before his grip tightens around your waist and he gently guides you backward onto the bed.
you crawl toward the pillows, your eyes never leaving his. your chest rises and falls with every breath.
jaehee pulls his shirt over his head, and you notice that he’s breathing just as hard.
the moment he climbs over you again, you’re reaching for him.
your hands move along his back for the first time in what feels like forever, tracing familiar lines as the muscles beneath your palms shift and flex. jaehee catches your bottom lip briefly between his, and your hands drift to his arms.
you’d forgotten how sturdy he is. how safe he feels.
why couldn’t you lean on him?
jaehee’s hands tremble slightly as they find the hem of your shirt. you feel the hesitation in his touch when his palms settle gently against the bare skin above your shorts. your breath catches when his thumbs begin tracing small, absent circles there.
you finally pull back just enough to rest your forehead against his.
a small smile tugs at your lips.
jaehee watches you patiently.
he’ll do whatever you want him to.
you can see it in his eyes.
slowly, you shift until you’re straddling his waist and he’s lying beneath you.
for a moment, you simply stay there.
your fingers leave light trails along his collarbone, down the center of his chest, and across the firm planes of his stomach. when you lean down, pressing soft kisses against his jaw and along the curve of his neck, quiet sounds leave him before he can stop them.
jaehee decides then that he’s entirely at your mercy.
eventually, you sit up again.
the oversized shirt pools around your hips where you’re sitting on top of him. your fingers find the hem and curl around the fabric.
before you can lift it, jaehee places his hand gently over yours.
you pause.
“yn—”
“i want to,” you blurt out.
his eyes widen slightly.
for a second, neither of you speak.
“do you want to?” you ask quietly, searching his face.
jaehee looks at you for a long moment before nodding.
“yeah,” he says softly.
you can feel jaehee growing underneath you with every inch of skin you reveal. when your shirt is fully pulled off, the brown in jaehee’s eyes are almost completely lost to his blown out pupils. you lean down just slightly, guiding your hand to your chest.
“please touch me,” you say gently. “i want to feel warm again.”
jaehee’s eyes move from your chest to your eyes.
he understands now, nodding his head again. his hands cup both of your breasts, spilling out between his fingers.
“you’re beautiful, yn,” he tells you as he cups you in his hands. you let out a soft sigh at the feeling of his hands. his groping only gets rougher as your noises encourage him.
he leans up to take a nipple in his mouth, his tongue laving the mound as his other hand pinches your other nipple.
“i love you,” he switches his attention to your other breast, and you can feel the air cooling his spit.
your hips shift forward at his words and he groans with your chest in his mouth. your hands find his hair again and keep his face buried there.
he pulls away to look at you, his pupils blown. you smile at him and lean down to find his lips again and you can feel him smile into the kiss, too.
jaehee’s hands move to your ass, pressing you against him. both of you groan at the feeling.
you’ve dry humped before, but never with both of you topless. “fuck,” you say, feeling the size his length through his sweatpants. it makes sense, for someone with jaehee’s height and build to also have a big dick. he twitches at the sound of you cursing.
jaehee maneuvers you until you’re laying down again and he’s leaning over you. he peppers kisses all over your face before his lips find your jaw and move down your throat. he sucks particularly hard where your neck meets your shoulder, then soothes the area with his tongue.
you’re whimpering his name as you feel the area dry and jaehee’s hands return to your chest. jaehee brings his forehead to rest against yours as you take one of his hands in yours and slowly drag it down your body.
when you guide his fingers beneath the waistband of your shorts, jaehee thinks he might explode. he cups your heat over your panties, feeling how damp the fabric is. “yn,” he chokes out in a strained voice, chest heaving as his fingers rubs your folds over the fabric.
“feels good,” you nod at him with a sigh.
your small sounds encourage jaehee to keep rubbing your folds. he wants to draw out more from you, speeding his fingers up. when your breathing starts to increase, jaehee’s hands move to the waistband of your shorts and panties.
“can i?” he asks you, looking deep into your eyes.
“please, jaehee,” you breathe out. jaehee rids you of your clothing and moans at the sight of you fully bare for him. he twitches in his pants when he realizes he can see your wetness coating your core. under his attention, you suddenly feel shy, turning your head away from him.
“baby, you’re beautiful,” he whispers, turning your head back towards him with a finger under your chin. too easily, your eyes find the bulge in his pants, and a small wet spot forming. the sight makes your mouth water.
jaehee leans over you again, his mouth finding yours momentarily while his fingers explore you for the first time. your whole body jerks when he touches your clit, and you feel a new wave of wetness.
“i can’t believe this is all for me,” jaehee says in awe, pulling back to look at you again. his words are in genuine amazement, completely infatuated by you.
“your body is so hot,” he continues, using his middle finger and thumb to spread you out. you moan at both his words and his touch.
his fingers spread your slick from your entrance to your folds and clit. when jaehee puts his middle finger inside of you, a moan escapes your lips. “oh my god.”
jaehee pulls his finger out just to thrust it back in. next, he adds his index finger and curls them inside of you. you’ve never felt anything like this before, and neither has jaehee.
“you’re so soft inside,” he says. his bulge is almost getting to be painful at this point, but he’s completely focused on how he’s making you feel. your walls clamp down on jaehee’s fingers, so he decided to say more. “you’re so warm, yn.”
jaehee speeds up the pace of his fingers almost immediately, and you can’t even find any words to say. the only sounds in the room are the squelching of his fingers inside of you and your broken cries and whimpers. his other hand finds it way to your chest again, and you’re completely overwhelmed by everything jaehee.
just as the winding in your stomach is almost at its peak, jaehee pulls his fingers out of you. he brings them to his mouth and you watch him suck them clean. your eyes stay on him as he moves to take off his sweatpants.
“come here,” you coo sweetly when his final garment is removed. the size of jaehee slightly intimidates you, but you’re so eager to feel him inside.
you can feel the weight of him on your stomach as he kisses you sweet and slow. you’re humming into the kiss and bring a hand down to his tip. he jerks at the feeling and bites your lip on accident. “i’m sorry,” he laughs softly, his thumb caressing your cheek as your hand spreads his precum down his shaft.
“are you ready?” he asks you with a small nod.
“yes.”
jaehee kisses your forehead and then props himself up on his elbows.
when he runs his tip along your folds, both of you twitch at the sensation. jaehee swears you feel so warm already, he isn’t sure he’ll be able to get much more than the tip in.
he heard you gasp and he paused once the tip of his cock was inside of you. he had to dig his fingers into your hips just to ground himself for a few moments.
when jaehee pushed himself deeper into you he felt as if he was going to explode, so he stilled his hips and moaned without meaning to. he had to bite back more sounds before he could speak to you.
“how does that feel?” his voice was shaking, and he swore your walls fluttered around him when he spoke to you. your eyes were screwed shut at the intrusion, waiting for the pain to give way to pleasure.
after a moment, you found the strength to speak. “it feels good, keep going.”
jaehee nodded at your wishes, pushing into you little by little. both of you moaned as he moved, new to such a foreign feeling. jaehee thinks he could die like this. he swore your body was squeezing him in so tight, he wasn’t sure he’d even be able to pull out.
“let me know when it’s ok to move,” he said when he was fully sheathed. jaehee was so big and deep inside of you, you could barely process his words. you could feel him everywhere, and you’ve never felt closer to him than now.
when you let out a soft “ok,” jaehee pulls out completely. you know that he’s completely covered in you, and the realization makes your head spin.
when jaehee pushes in again, and you moan at the feeling. “so deep,” you gasp before he pulls out again.
“fuck, baby, don’t say that,” he thrusts forward and sets a slow pace, because he doesn't think he could handle much more.
your hands find jaehee’s back and pull him down to you, wanting to feel his skin on yours. both of you are moaning into each other’s mouths as his hips speed up.
“i’m close, daeng,” you breathe out, gripping his bicep.
“me, too,” his thrusts become sloppy. “where should i—”
your cries of his name cut him off as you release around him. the feeling of your walls clamping down on him spur jaehee’s own release, and you feel him spurting inside of you. jaehee stays inside of you until you’ve both calmed down.
he kisses you lazily before jerking back.
“wait, yn, i… inside—”
you giggle at his panicked eyes, pulling him back into you. “i’m on the pill, so it’s ok.”
jaehee blinks a few times before letting himself relax in your arms. “i’ll still buy you a plan b.”
“that’s very sweet.” you coo.
“i love you, yn.”
“i know, daeng. i love you, too.”
“do you really know, though?” he asked you with a playful peck on the lips.
“yeah, i can feel all of your love dripping out of me right now.”
jaehee hides his face at your words, and you laugh at his cuteness.
“i’ll clean everything up later,” he tells you. “just want to hold you right now.”
you hum. “me too. i missed you.”
jaehee’s heart skips a beat as he pulls you into him, and the two of you drift off.
a month later, you and jaehee have officially finished your first year of college.
after you submitted your final assignment, jaehee pulled you into his lap and showered you with kisses and puppy-like affection.
“jaehee!”
“what?”
“what do you mean, what?” you giggle, “what’s happening?” jaehee lands a wet kiss on your cheek. “i’m celebrating.”
his grip on your waist tightens, pulling you even closer to him.
“we can celebrate normally, you know.”
“this is normal.”
“this is an incredible amount of kisses i’m receiving.”
you brush a few bangs out of jaehee’s eyes before leaning forward to kiss his forehead. he softens under your touch.
“you know me so well,” he pouts softly. you narrow your eyes
“go ahead and tell me what you’re buttering me up for.”
“what? i would never.”
jaehee smiles at you, eyes full of adoration. it makes your heart feel warm and full.
“jaehee.”
“ok. my friend is having a little get-together to celebrate the end of the semester and i was hoping you’d come with me.”
“i see,” you push his hair back and pretend to think hard about your answer. when you tap your chin for the third time, jaehee sighs in distress.
“i guess i’ll go,” you fake sigh before grinning.
jaehee lights up. “really?”
“yeah. wouldn’t want my boyfriend to have no one to talk to, after all.”
“yeah, we couldn’t have that,” jaehee groans, playing along. “it’d be devastating.”
“tragic, even.”
“thank you for saving me,” jaehee says before buring his face into your shoulder.
the two of you arrive at jaehee’s friend's apartment, hand in hand.
“my favorite couple!” someone exclaims, and the others join in with cheers.
you find yourself smiling as jaehee gets pulled into conversations almost instantly. he looks brighter than he has in months. your chest feels warm as you watch him.
you make your way toward a group of girls gathered near the window.
halfway there, someone calls your name. you turn. it’s the girl from the restaurant, the one from high school.
she waves excitedly. “hi!”
“hi,” you answer with a surprised laugh.
“come sit with us.”
for a second, you glance across the room. jaehee catches your eye instantly, and his head tilts slightly.
you smile and nod: i'm okay.
he smiles back before somebody starts talking to him again.
the girl beside you hesitates. “i’ve actually wanted to talk to you.”
“to me?”
“yeah.”
she looks nervous now, which feels strange. once upon a time, you would've thought someone like her could never be nervous around someone like you.
“i’m sorry for not recognizing you back then.”
“really, it’s okay.”
“no, but—” she pauses. “you took care of the garden.”
you blink. “the garden?”
“behind the school.”
you stare. she laughs softly.
“i remember seeing you there all the time,” she continues. “one day after school i saw you and jaehee out there.”
you immediately laugh. “jaehee absolutely did not take care of that garden.”
“okay, maybe he mostly stood there.”
“that sounds more accurate.”
she laughs too. “i remember thinking you looked really peaceful there.”
you don't know what to say.
she fiddles with her sleeve. “i should’ve talked to you back then. i love flowers.”
“you do?”
you imagine your high school self hearing that. you don't think she would've known what to do with it. all those years, you had been so convinced nobody noticed you. and yet somebody remembered the garden, and the flowers. somebody remembered you.
“yeah.”
“why didn’t you?”
she smiles sheepishly. “i was scared.”
you blink. “scared?”
“i thought maybe it was a you-and-jaehee thing.”
you immediately start laughing. “it definitely wasn't.”
“i know that now.”
for a moment, neither of you speak. then she shrugs. “i just wanted to tell you.”
something warm settles quietly in your chest. all those years ago, you would've given anything to hear that someone noticed you. that you had occupied space in another person's memory.
“well,” you say softly, “hearing it now still makes me happy.”
her face brightens. “really?”
“really.”
you smile. “maybe we can be friends now.”
“yes,” she says immediately. “absolutely.”
by the time you've exchanged phone numbers, the knot in your chest feels strangely lighter.
across the room, jaehee watches you weaving through the crowd toward him.
“you made a friend?”
you hold up your phone. “i made a friend.”
his eyes widen dramatically. “wow.”
“don't start.”
“i'm just saying.” he reaches for your hand. “this is huge.”
you roll your eyes, but you let him intertwine your fingers anyway. “maybe you're rubbing off on me.”
“maybe.” he looks entirely too pleased with himself.
“don't get too popular.”
“why?”
“because then i'll have to start booking appointments.”
you groan. “you're really annoying.”
“that's not a no.”
“jaehee.”
he laughs when you bump your shoulder against his.
“besides,” you add quietly, “that’s impossible.”
his expression immediately turns serious. “yn, you can make as many friends as you want.”
“that’s not what i meant.”
“then what did you mean?”
for a moment, you simply look at him—at the boy who greeted you every morning, the boy who stood in the rain because losing you was never an option, the boy who taught you that being seen and being loved were not the same thing, but somehow gave you both anyway.
your fingers squeeze his hand.
“i meant,” you say softly, “how could i ever go a day without you?”
everything around you seems to fade for a second, until there's only jaehee and you. that familiar blush creeps slowly into his ears, even now.
“you still do that,” you say.
“do what?”
“blush.”
he groans immediately. “yn.”
“it’s cute.”
“please stop.”
“never.”
he laughs despite himself, and suddenly you're seventeen again. sitting beneath a sky full of stars, watching a boy who everyone loved turn pink because you looked at him for a second too long. except now, neither of you have to wonder.
you don't have to imagine what he feels. you don't have to hope he'll find you in a crowd. you don't have to spend your days wishing for one more good morning.
because he's here, with his hand in yours and his smile brighter than ever.
when jaehee looks at you now, he doesn't look like he's searching. he looks like he's already found what he was looking for.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
starring: dong sicheng, kim daeyoung, kim jungwoo, lee donghyuck
warning: all stories are written with a female reader in mind | specific warnings stated below
a/n: a coworker of mine recently got me into a movie watching craze (my letterboxd is michelle4terry btw if anyone cares..), but i’ve been watching a lot (at least between school and everything) of romcoms lately because i’m lowkey a sucker for them.. this is such a valentines-esque theme so i’ll probably do a part two when february rolls around but for now, here we are. if i do another part in february, lmk which romcom & idol you’d like to see together! i’ll try to upload once a week but since midterms are coming up, i’ll see how that goes 😵💫 thank you for clicking on ‘shitty romcoms’ and please do enjoy :)
🔖 taglist: open, leave a comment or send in an ask/message!
10 things i hate about you
after yn’s younger sister, ning yizhuo, starts college at ncit, her ex immediately takes note of her. yn, being the older sister she is, won’t let what happened to her also happen to yizhuo. so what happens when said ex pays his friend to distract yn from keeping tabs on her younger sister?
starring: lee donghyuck & female!reader
featuring: ning yizhuo of aespa, zhong chenle of nct
college au, strangers to lovers
warnings: cursing, mentions of sex, smoking
to all the boys i’ve loved before [coming jan. 16]
yn writes a letter to each boy she has ever loved as a way to say goodbye to them, so what happens when all 3 letters, including one addressed to her brother’s boyfriend, gets sent out?
starring: kim daeyoung & female!reader
featuring: all of nct wish
high school au, ex-friends to lovers
warnings: cursing, yushi & sion dating solely to fit the plot, incorrect ages (yushi & sion’s are flipped to better suit the respective characters)
flipped [coming jan. 30]
all yn has ever wanted was for dong sicheng to like her back and all dong sicheng ever wanted was for yn to leave him alone, so what happens when their perspectives flip?
starring: dong sicheng & female!reader
featuring: nakamoto yuta of nct, etc.
high school au, neighbors/frenemies to lovers
warnings: cursing
she’s the man [coming feb. 13]
ncit has officially gotten rid of the women’s basketball team which leaves yn wanting to join the men’s. so when her school says no, she goes undercover as her twin at his school to play on their men's team.
so idk whether my request came through cause it gave me an error😭 but can i please request something with golden retriever daeyoung x black cat gf? it can be headcanons or whatever you want!
ೃ⁀➷ SUNSHINE AND MOONLIGHT ☆.｡.:*
black cat!reader x golden retriever!jaehee headcanons
PAIRING . . . nct wish jaehee x fem!reader
WORD COUNT . . . 1.7k
CONTENT . . . black cat x golden retriever trope, strangers to lovers to established relationship, mutual pining, first kiss, mentions of cuddling, sleeping together, fights, jealousy and possessiveness, very sweet and lovely overall feat. friend riku
SUZA'S NOTE . . . starting 2026 with a post 💗 this request came at a perfect time because i was going to write jaehee headcanons either way. i had a good time writing this. i tried to focus on the black cat x golden retriever dynamic as much as possible, so i hope i did this trope justice. anon, thank u for requesting :3
INSPIRATION . . . not exactly inspired by, but while writing i remembered these two yushi headcanons by @neovisions i read once. i reread them before writing this fic as a way to make the words flow in my head. so not really an inspiration, but i still think it’s worth mentioning!
TAGLIST . . . @gyubvlin
masterlist
Daeyoung, who’s a person with the brightest personality in his environment. Always smiling, full of positive energy, and with an aura that makes him instantly likeable, he’s just like a golden retriever.
You, who have a small but very trusted friend circle. Keeping to yourself and adamant to the idea of entertaining people you’re not close to, you come off as cold and intimidating. Out of reach, yet interesting and attractive, you’re just like a black cat.
You and Daeyoung, who met through your mutual friend Riku. You were Riku’s official plus one at a social event which you reluctantly followed him to, only to end up as a third wheel to him and Daeyoung. They spent the whole evening talking and laughing, sometimes trying to engage with you, and you watched and listened quietly instead.
Daeyoung, who fell for you the moment he saw you. From the first eye contact and the sound of your voice, he knew he wanted to be yours.
You, who found Daeyoung attractive from the beginning, but had no plans of talking to him. Watching him when he wasn’t looking was enough.
Daeyoung, who felt every second of your eyes on him, whose face was burning with rosy red. He thought he was going to explode. Your eyes shifted with every movement of his, and if Riku wasn’t sitting between him and you, you’d definitely hear Daeyoung’s pounding heartbeat.
You, who made Daeyoung completely head over heels for you in just a few hours, because you left the event early. He couldn’t stop thinking about you for days, so he persuaded Riku into arranging a few hangouts with the three of you.
You, who are usually reluctant to meet people, accepted Riku’s offer with ease.
Riku, who noticed the brewing chemistry between you and Daeyoung during the first hangout. He didn’t comment. Anyone who looked at you could tell something was up.
Daeyoung, who didn’t try to hide how smitten with you he was. His eyes, staring at you all the time, were like two suns, and his lips broke out into a warm smile every time you said something.
You, who were interested in Daeyoung far more than you let on. You didn’t show it, but every ring of his voice made your stomach flutter. If you had cat ears, they would’ve been perked up.
You and Daeyoung, who exchanged numbers, ditched Riku after the third hangout, and continued to meet without him.
Daeyoung, who quickly understood your closed off nature, so he texted you short messages every day to make himself present in your life without overwhelming you. These short exchanges turned into long conversations, and eventually, into phone calls.
You, who took a few long weeks to warm up to Daeyoung. He waited patiently.
Daeyoung, who hoped with all his being there was at least a chance that you liked him back.
You, who knew Daeyoung had a crush on you from the start, but wanted to get to know him before giving him a chance.
You, who casually confessed to Daeyoung while watching TV at his dorm, after months of being more than friends, less than lovers.
Daeyoung, whose neck snapped in your direction at the speed of light. The casualness of your voice when you said, “I like you,” echoed in his head. You were acting as if it was nothing, as if you didn’t just make his dream come true.
Daeyoung, who asked over ten times if you were sure and if you knew what you were saying. You rolled your eyes with a creeping smile at every question.
You, who sat closer to Daeyoung, placed your hand on his jaw, and kissed his cheek to shut him up. His face was so, so red—redder than a tomato, but it didn’t matter because it was one of the happiest moments of his life.
Daeyoung, who took you out on a proper date after the confession. He greeted you with a bouquet of roses, took you out to dinner, and during a late night walk under the stars and a snowy sky, asked you to be his girlfriend.
You and Daeyoung, who shared your first kiss on a winter night, with snowflakes falling on your heads, cheeks blushing from the cold and each other’s lips, and butterflies in your bellies.
Daeyoung, who wasted no time telling his friends he has a girlfriend. He talked about you, hiding his red face and a giddy smile in his hands. If he was a puppy, his tail would be wiggling left to right from excitement.
You, who were not going to tell your friends about the relationship. You wanted the news to come out naturally and after some time, but got caught after a few days when your friends saw you giggling when texting Daeyoung.
Riku, who saw both reactions in real time. Although they were completely different, he knew both of you were in a euphoric state.
Daeyoung, who is your ray of sunshine. You never thought you’d become close with someone like this, let alone be in a relationship, yet you can’t imagine yourself next to anyone else.
Daeyoung, who loves you with his whole being. Through words, actions, and gifts, he is always letting you and the world know how much you matter to him and how devoted he is to you.
Daeyoung, who gives you as much space as you need. If you want to be alone or your social battery is low, he will wait for you to reach out to him first. Is he thinking about you all this time? Yes, but he is willing to wait for you.
You, who could spend hours and hours with Daeyoung, sitting and listening to him talk and not get tired of the interactions. Despite being way more extroverted than you, he doesn’t drain your energy like other people do.
You, whose eyes are always on Daeyoung. You follow his every move, from the nervous bounce of his leg, to the shifts in his facial expressions, to the unconscious twitch of his fingers. You watch him like a cat following its target. It makes him so nervous every time, which makes him look extremely cute at the moment. You’ll never stop.
You, who keep stealing Daeyoung’s shirts and hoodies, and later complain that his clothes are too big on you.
Daeyoung, who gets so excited about the idea of hanging out with you and his friends, meanwhile you’re dying inside at the thought of spending so much time around so many strangers.
You and Daeyoung, cuddling on a couch after a long day, while he talks about his day as you listen with eyes half-closed.
Daeyoung, who sends you good morning and good night texts every day, even if you don’t text back. He wants you to know you’re on his mind from the moment he wakes up to the moment he falls asleep.
Daeyoung, who is interested in everything about you; your interests, hobbies, people you talk to, the things you do. When you talk about something that interests you or matters to you, his own eyes carry sparkles. What matters to you automatically matters to him.
You, who were so worried about letting Daeyoung into your world, only for him to become the person you want in your world the most.
You, who gets jealous and possessive so easily. You keep denying it whenever he points it out as a way to tease you, but you can’t hide the truth. You want to have Daeyoung all to yourself.
Daeyoung, who secretly loves this side of you. He would never do anything to rile you up on purpose—he hates to see you uncomfortable—but he finds your kind of ownership of him fascinating. In moments of jealousy and possessiveness, your claws come out. It gives him a strange confidence boost. Plus, you look hot when you’re jealous.
You, who shut Daeyoung out when life gets too tough. It’s something you’ve always done as a way to cope; in times of distress, you don’t have the mental capacity to stay in touch with people. You know it’s unfair to Daeyoung, but you don’t know how to change it.
Daeyoung, who slowly breaks through your emotional barriers. It takes a lot of time, but he doesn’t rush you into anything. He wants you to approach him first and open up instead of pushing you into it. He will be there for you every time if you need a shoulder to lean on. He’s your boyfriend, after all.
You, who slowly learn how to rely on Daeyoung. The first time you’re completely honest with him is extremely scary; you don’t know how he’ll react, how much is too much, and when to stop. You almost say, “Nevermind,” and retreat again, but then you look into his eyes that convey nothing but love and understanding. And maybe for the first time in a long while, you feel completely heard and understood.
Daeyoung, who approaches you first after fights. He knows it’s harder for you to do, so he puts his pride aside and apologizes first, even if you’re at fault. To Daeyoung, ensuring that your relationship is going to be okay is his responsibility.
You, who always sleep better in Daeyoung’s arms. Whether his chest is pressed to your back or you’re curled into his side—it doesn’t matter, as long as your bodies are tangled together. Even if you’re not cuddling before sleep, your body naturally looks for him when you’re falling into slumber. You refuse to fall asleep otherwise.
Daeyoung, who wants to be with you for the rest of his life. You are his safe space, his home, his refuge. You’re the one he looks for when something good happens and when life gets too hard to handle. Your presence in his life is a blessing and he never wants to know what it’s like not having you.
You, who have finally found your person. Daeyoung is like no one else you’ve met before. You love and trust him more with every passing day, and nobody understands you like he does. He will probably never know even half of your love, but you do, and you know the feeling is too strong to ever leave his side.
Daeyoung, who fell first, and you, who fell harder.
Daeyoung, who’s like a golden retriever, and you, who are like a black cat. Despite the differences, you are perfect for each other.
