#jaeboem

Nothing is going right, Youngjae thinks as he angrily pokes the paneer on his plate. It’s supposed to taste good and make him happy but all he can focus on is the soreness that coats his body and the frustration filling him. He messed up the chorio in today’s practice, then he didn’t get any of the notes right while recording! 

He is so fucking stupid. 

The only thing that could make today worse was if he embarrassed himself in front of Jaebum hyung. Youngjae’s been lucky up to this point to not mess up in front of his crush… but fuck. It is hard to. Especially when his whole existence seems to be one slip up after another. 

A “hump” of shock leaves Youngjae as a foregin hand rubs his head affectionately, messing up his hair in the process. The hand’s warmth makes him blush, mostly because he knows who the hand is attached to: Lim Jaebum.

Shyly, Youngjae looks up to meet the kind eyes of Jaebum, a shy blush blossoming on his face as well. After what feels like a minute of staring at each other (it is likely only a few seconds but Youngjae often gets lost in Jaebum’s eyes and loses track of time so who knows), Jaebum coughs lightly and sits across from him and for a split second Youngjae thinks he sees Jaebum’s eyes flicker down to his lips.

That couldn’t be real through, right?

Right…  

“Good evening.” Jaebum says quietly, his voice soft and sweet.

“Good evening. How did your recordings go?” 

“They went alright. A little longer than I would have liked but…” Jaebum stops talking with a shrug, instead bringing his plate close to his face and shoveling his food into his mouth. 

When he finally puts his plate down, he sets his silverware down and rests his hand on Youngjae’s hand softly, “How was your day?” 

His eyes are soft and inviting and Youngjae doesn’t have any energy left to lie, “It’s been really stressful, Hyung. I have been trying so hard but it feels like all my efforts have fallen short. It sucks.” 

Jaebum nods and listens quietly to the entirety of Youngjae’s vent, his thumb gently rubbing reassurances on Youngjae’s all the while. The warmth of Jaebum’s hand on his own started to ground Youngjae as he continued to vent and he soon found himself more aware of the small dorm room that they were in. 

It was near empty since they had stopped living there full time, only using it after particularly hard days when they didn’t want to travel far but as him and Jaebum sat and talked, it felt full with life. 

“Youngjae-ah. You’re an amazing singer… and a skilled dancer… and a really smart person.” 

Despite Jaebum’s kind words, the sentiment isn’t something that suddenly came to Youngjae, stead he sighs and slowly removes his hand from under Jaebum’s, a pang of sadness deepening in him. Suddenly, he wasn’t hungry… even if he loved paneer. 

Youngjae quickly gets up, his eyes stinging as he leaves the kitchen. Guilt swims in his stomach as he leaves Jaebum alone to hide in one of the bedrooms but even his crush on the man didn’t make him feel like staying. 

He doesn’t get very far from the kitchen table before he hears Jaebum get up and walk over, quickly grabbing his arm and turning him round. Jaebum’s eyes burn with passion and emotion that Youngjae hadn’t seen in them before.

“I know you don’t always see it, Youngjae-ah, but you are really amazing,” Jaebum licks his lips and for a split second, Youngjae was struck by his soft looking lips, “Today was a hard day, but one hard day… or one hard month… or even a hard year, doesn’t mean you aren’t amazing or talented. What I see when I look at you, is an intelligent, hard working, and gifted man…” 

Jaebum trails off and for a second, Youngjae thinks that Jaebum spared a look at his lips but that couldn’t be true. Youngjae sighs quietly, he’s tired but doesn’t want to move , Jaebum’s body radiating warmth and comfort. 

“I’m not-”

“Oh. Shut up.” 

With that, Youngjae feels the soft lips of his hyung pressing against his own, his hands rising up to gently cup Jaebum’s face, his stubble barely noticeable. Jaebum’s hands slowly intertwin themselves in Youngjae’s hair, gently rubbing his scalp as they kiss. The kiss is soft and caring and when they separate, it feels as if his world stopped. The only thing that matters was the two of them at this moment.  The two stare at each other, silent words passing. 

Jaebum opens his mouth slowly but Youngjae doesn’t wait this time, “Go on a date with me… tomorrow?” 

“I’d love to.” A shy smile spreads across his face, night of them moving yet.

“Oh thank fuck! The tension between you two was getting out of hand.” Jackson’s excited voice cuts through the moment and immediately Jaebum jumps back from Youngjae, his face becoming a deep red.