Thinking about Pre-Death Best Friend!Reader x Red Hood!Jason Todd who craves the intimate personal connection and affection he once had with you but is so terrified of letting people in that he watches from the sidelines to make sure you’re okay. All he wants is you to be happy.
Jason Todd who hasn’t tried to see you since he came back. He’s seen his family, albeit mostly reluctantly, but he can’t bring himself to insert himself back into your life. Not the way he is now. You won’t want him the way he is now.
Jason Todd who made your apartment a key feature of his patrolling route, your workplace too. You still sometimes walk home alone at night despite how often he told you not to back in his Robin days. You’re just as stubborn as ever and though he worries for your safety, the sense of familiarity it gives him provides a semblance of comfort when everything about him feels so unbelievably wrong now.
Jason Todd who had to try and hide in the small bookstore you both frequent recently. It’s quaint, cozy and feels like taking a step outside of Gotham every time he visits. Something so homey doesn’t belong in this city. Though he supposes it makes sense that you would be here, you feel just as much like home to him. He’s too big to hide behind the shelves standing, so he finds himself crouching, pretending to be looking intently for a novel on the bottom shelf of the classics section. He hasn’t moved an inch since he heard the bell chime, and your voice carry through the space as you shook your damp umbrella off on the doormat. He listens to you chat with the young kid working the counter, picking up a special cloth-bound edition of Pride and Prejudice you’d ordered earlier in the week. It makes him smile, you’d always said you hated classics, that they were boring, until you’d both laid down under the big oak tree that sat on the edge of Wayne Manor’s grounds and let him read it to you. He remembers the sunshine, dappled, and filtering through the leaves. He remembers the way the light kissed your face. How he wished he could do the same. Even then. But he was afraid. Too afraid to risk losing your friendship, the only real one he’d ever had. He’s still too afraid. He supposes not everything about him has changed.
Jason Todd who has accidentally (he thinks, maybe, mostly) started to run into you as Red Hood. Softly knocking on the window from your fire escape. Behaviour uncharacteristic of ‘Red Hood the vigilante’ as you knew him, supposedly gruff and imposing. Asking quietly to monitor an ongoing situation from your fire escape. It really was the best vantage point. Some goon posted himself in the shady alley between buildings, selling drugs to local kids and he needed to make sure he wouldn’t come back again after Hood had put the fear of god in him the night previous. He tries to tell himself that the roof would have obstructed his view too much. If you don’t know about Jason he can’t hurt you so this is okay. You of course say yes. You’ve heard what people have to say about Red Hood, adults and the elite who spit his name with vitriol, but you’ve also seen the kids on the street who excitedly wait for their daily high five from the masked man. You know who you believe. You bring him a bottle of water halfway through the stakeout, you shrug lightly in response to his thank you and return to reading on the couch. Window open, sheer curtains blowing softly in the light breeze. He can’t remember a time he felt so calm.
Part 2
