#j+w

It wasn’t too long ago that a cold night had wrapped your body in it’s relentless touch of winter. Jackson and you were laughing feverishly about something dumb he said amid car headlights and passerby’s visible breaths. When you came to a stop at the crosswalk that covered the two of you in a ray of red, he looked down at you. Raising an eyebrow after a moment, Jackson hunched himself down to your level,

“Is it the light making your face red, or is your skinned actually rosy from the weather?” He pondered aloud, maybe wanting an answer, but before you were able to, his finger tips connected with the skin just beside a dimple on your cheeks. “Wow, your face is cold!”

“Thanks for the observation.” You continued to smile up at him, feeling a kick in your heart, but not that. He chuckled in response to your sassy reply, before removing the hand from your face to brush stray bands from his own eyes.

“Look here, cherry cheeks,” Your eyes rolled, and the blush on your face probably became a bit stronger at the description, but he paid no mind, “I’m just looking out for my favorite, alright?” He said. Unconscious to you, was his hands removing the navy wool that he wore around his neck in a thick clump. You were too busy, glancing away in an attempt to hope your cheeks would lose some color from your evident embarrassment. When your eyes reconnected with the soft evening tone that colored Jackson’s irises, it was a reaction to him tugging you forward with the scarf that he now tossed around the back of your neck. “You’re cute.”

Your heart did beat faster that time. How could it not? But as much of an effect that that moment had on you, especially considering how it grew into a gentle exchange of him securely wrapping the soft scarf laced generously with his cologne-- as much as you loved that moment, it wasn’t the one that you were trying to think about now.

The two of you were a couple, properly. When out and about in public, you certainly did not cling onto him, or him you. You barely held hands outside of a private space, and maybe that was why this situation was occurring. Anger was not pointed in the direction of your relationship with Jackson being hidden away from the media, but there was a different kind of frustration wrapping its grip around you.

Nights like this one, in particular were a bit more difficult. You had been the one subjected to bring a large amount of food to the dorms. Losing a game of rock paper scissors, often meant your wallet took a hit, but nevertheless you supplied all the necessities for an easy night in with the rest of GOT7. One of the more annoying parts of maintaining a secret relationship was having to sneak around. You felt like you were pretty good at it by now; there weren’t any cameras or people in sight when you slipped in the door.

Making sure to shut it tight meant balancing on a single foot and having the other kick into the door hard. If it weren’t for the bags of food, the task would be simple enough, but the disproportionate weight caused your legs to stutter.

“Woah,” And had Jackson’s hands not taken a firm grip on your sides you would have ended up coated in food. “Clumsy.” The warmth from his breath sent a counteractive sensation against chilled neck, and the pads of his fingers taking a gentle squeeze on your hip bones only added to the effect.

“Yeah.” You blurted out, laying the souls of your shoes back against the floor properly. “I would’ve texted you that I was here, but my hands are full.”

“I can help with that.” He said a bit softer than needed. Before having the time to consider his tones, the bags were removed from your grip, just like your hips from his hands. You turned to face him, finally, but unable to take a good look before his lips were pressed softly on yours. “Missed you.” He said too soon, and gestured for you to follow him down the corridor. After the slightest hesitation, you did so, catching up to him without having to go through much effort.

“Y/N, good to see you again!” Jaebum was the first to greet you as the two of you entered into the common area. “We heard the door open earlier, but Jackson was the first to sprint over and see who it was.”

“He’s head over heels.” Bambam’s head popped up from the couch he was lying down on. Jackson’s eyes rolled and opened his mouth to speak, but was beat to it by Yugyeom, who was on the armchair beside you.

“More like whipped, right, hyung?”

“Say what you want, but at least I have a girlfriend.” He countered, with a shrug before leaving you to place the food in the kitchen. “Yugyeom-ah, Bambam-ah, we forgot to get you guys anything, by the way.” Now you giggled softly, watching the two hop up from their seats and whine their way into the kitchen before Jackson hid their portion of food away.

Maybe you had simply over thought the whole situation.

Eight people squished into the living area was not the easiest of arrangements. The couch ended up being an overcrowded hub of you, Jackson, Mark, and Jaebum. With Jackson occupying the corner, and you right beside him, it wasn’t the worst position to be in. Your head was rested against his chest, that was angled backwards into the comfort of the plush cushion. His arm was around your shoulder, fingers lazily twirling a lock of hair, while his eyes looked at the screen.

Empty containers of food scattered about the area, and the lighting was only coming from the television and distant kitchen. It wasn’t easy to see everyone when you glanced around the room, not that it mattered much. Somewhat interested in what was going on in the film, you continued staring at the screen. The lines entered through your ears, and sure you could follow along with the plot, but when you took notice of Jackson readjusting his position you sat upwards to allow him movement. You think you heard him mutter an apology, but didn’t think much of it when he simply wrapped both his arms back around you and tugged him back onto his chest.

Both of his hands were locked together by his fingers, on the part of your midriff where the hem of your shirt had riled up only slightly in the previous movements. Nevertheless, part of Jackson’s hands were taking warmth away from your bare skin, and you nibbled softly on your bottom lip in response.

This was like those moments that you could never precisely pinpoint.

A few days prior to this evening, Jackson and you found time very late in the day to sneak away from other engagements in order to see one another. There was nothing special about the venue you met up in; just a simple arcade that didn’t seem to receive much attention due to the bad location down a back alley off of the main road. In any case, there was less of a reason to be incredibly detached from each other’s touch. You both took the precautions of having the hoods of your tops covering your heads, and did the best effort to avoid glancing around at any one person for too long, but that didn’t mean you had to abstain from any and all physical attention.

His fingers were intertwined with yours. You commentated reverently and watched him maneuver the claw over the animal you pointed out to him seconds earlier. Holding your breath as Jackson pressed the release button, you both watched in silence to see if he was able to win the ridiculously colored cat plush. When the claw came back up, holding the head firmly in its reach you barely hopped off the floor and made an unintelligible exclamation of delight.

“You finally won for once!” You acknowledged, not intending to offend Jackson, but being him, he pouted in response as he crouched down to retrieve the prize.

“The one last time was rigged, and you know it.” He defended, handing you the toy in any case, and smiling when you started to laugh. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Thank you, sweetie.” You laughed once more, but squeezed his hand tighter. Pushing yourself onto your toes, you rewarded him with a kiss, intending for it to be the simplest of pecks. Only Jackson’s newly free hand found the curve of your spine and pulled you closer to him, the kiss having no choice but to deepen. Unable to get your body to actually move your arm to stop him, you simply savored the moment. Once he finally let up, and you both began taking fresh intakes of air did you notice the extremely tight grip you had on your new plush gift. You couldn’t care less, and instead looked up at him. Your heart was beating differently than on your birthday, and certainly with more power, but there was no time to dwell on the emotions, because the random shouts on the other aisle of games reminded the two of you that you were in public. Interrupted from trying to better understand what you felt.

“Not gonna stay later?” Yugyeom asked, his arms stretching upwards in the air to release tension in his back from being curled up on the armchair.

“No, but I’ll visit again soon.” You made the promise, reaching out to accept the offered hug from Bambam, and the much briefer one from Jinyoung.

“Practice is at eight tomorrow, right?” Jackson pitched up, his hand finding its way back to yours despite looking over to Jaebum for confirmation, who responded with a yawn and a nod of his head. “See you guys there, then.” He said as a goodbye. The two of you bowed your heads, and gave a wave and replied to whatever other goodbyes that the maknae line shouted out to you as you exited the same way you came in.

Back out into the crisp winter night, you immediately shivered when a gust of wind overtook the two of you. Noticing this, Jackson giggled lowly, and removed the hold of his hand on yours to begin rubbing either of your arms in an attempt to circulate heat.

“Jagi, you want to get ice cream on the way to my apartment?” He teased you outright, relishing in the sarcastic shake of your head. “You’re so cute.” This type of heart beat was different from earlier, but you couldn’t shake how the former felt by comparison. You knew it had an affect on the way you kept your eyes lingering on his lips, and how you felt yourself take in a bigger breath when Jackson’s tongue ran across them at the end of his short series of laughter. You acknowledged that difference, but what was there to do to bring it the attention desired?

“Did you like the movie?” You asked him, lightly swinging your connected arms up and down as you walked down the quiet sidewalk. Exhaling, you watched visible breath float off in the air before disappearing. When your ears caught his sudden scoff, you turned to look up at him with enough time to see him finish shrugging,

“Yeah, I guess what I ended up paying attention to was good.” He not so thoughtfully admitted, his neck twisting as a car honked at another somewhere behind the two of you. The stretching action revealed more of the spotless skin that had been more obscured by the collar of his jacket. Not a single blemish to hide. “What about you?” You found yourself swallowing thickly and then returning your half-hearted focus to the path ahead.

“It was interesting, yeah.” As you unconsciously mimicked the shrugging action Jackson previously gave to you, you caught yourself and nearly laughed at the similarity. “I couldn’t really pay attention to it honestly.”

“Ah, me too.” He nodded beside you, “Not with you that close to me.”

Nibbling on your lip again, you wondered to yourself if he would question the way your lips were reddening like the time he leant you his scarf. This was a polar opposite reason though. You felt it more in your abdominal muscle, an almost clenching feeling that demanded a lot more attention than you knew what to do with. Building up more and more, you wondered if you were as good at hiding these fidgeting emotions as Jackson let you believe you were.

“What are you doing?” He had asked you, not that many days ago. This was one of the more difficult times together where you felt the need to just keep everything under wraps. There was nothing wrong, you knew that, but the idea of a conversation about the growing storm in you was not appealing for some reason. “Y/N?”

In this memory, you were looking down at him as he questioned you. You knew the feeble grip you had on his wrists could be overpowered whenever he wanted, but in this pause during a tickle war Jackson let you have the piece of control. His chest was visibly raising up and lowering. A crooked smirk placed on his face, with his lips parts open to make up for the missing breaths he was catching up with from all the laughter. You weren’t much better, you’d bet. Your lips were apart like the boy you looked down at, and surely your hair had to be messy from the tumbling back and forth on the couch.

The television rumbled as white noise to your left, and all you could really hear were Jackson’s soft, yet audible breaths. Licking your lips for a moment, you wanted nothing more than to close the distance. You were holding his wrists, with your arms fully extended, and therefore weren’t in the closest proximity, but you wanted to be. Why were you frozen in place then? His wrists shifted in your grip, and you stuck out your tongue, protecting the thoughts in your head as you blurted in a playful tone,

“Winning this war, that’s what.” You said removing the grip and then returning your hands to tickle his sides again. The immediate reaction from Jackson was a loud gasp of laughter, along with him reaching around you and hugging you right against his chest,

“Aish, you win, you win.” The distance was so much closer, but not the right kind. “I can’t take any more of that, Jagi.”

The walk from the dorms to Jackson’s wasn’t the longest, but the twenty minutes it took for the two of you to get there felt like an hour. Amicable silence had filled the duration of the journey. Even so, you felt it wasn’t the most normal of walks, because you two usually had something to talk about. It may be random, or ridiculous, but there was always some topic. Just not this time.

“You want me to make some tea to warm you up, Jagi?” Jackson asked shutting the door behind you. Meanwhile you shrugged off your coat, inhaling the air clearly claimed by him. You nodded,

“Yeah, that sounds nice.” You smiled at him, “Green tea?”

“That’s the only kind anyone should drink.” He smiled at the comment you made in regards to his minor obsession, as you laughed softly. “I’ll go put some water on the stove.”

Jackson returned after a few minutes, practically hopping onto the space beside you on the couch. Extending your arms open for him, his lips blossomed back into that wide smile you were so fond of, and his tugged your small frame against his chest with his face quickly hid against the arch of your shoulder,

“You’re like a koala.” You lightly pat his shoulder as he chuckled against your bare neck, muttering something you didn’t quite catch. Smiling softly at him childishly clutching onto you, you began running your fingers through the short strands of hair just above the hairline on the back of his head. “Did you hear me?”

“No.” You admitted, beginning to pull back so you could better understand him. Before getting too far, his hand slid to the back of your head, holding you in place and all you could do was look downwards at him when his eyes lifted up to meet yours.

“I said, you make it so hard for me to keep calm.” Silently, just like the time before, you watched him stoically. Somewhere in between being lost in the shock and flutter his words left you in, you found him anything but the cute boy who just compared you to a koala. If Jackson was good at one thing, it was keeping you on a rollercoaster of emotions.

“Says you.” You barely mumbled in response, the hesitation in your speech causing his eyes to gleam a bit wider for a second.

“No, I can easily tell how I’m making you feel.” He admitted to you, the slyest of smirks resting on his features, while he brushed hair back from your face. His hand remained caressing your jaw, holding you steady as if you might sprint off from him. Like hell would you ever. “You do this thing, jagi, with your lips,” He started back up, “Like right now,” Your mouth closed shut as a reaction, not that you noticed it opening up to begin with. He chuckled, “Where I can tell you want something more than just a peck, you know?” His face had moved closer to yours, but it was stopped centimeters away. Jackson ran his thumb along your cheek, the slightly calloused pad pressing into the corner of your lips. “You didn’t need to close your mouth, jagiya. Guess you’re just not sure what to do with yourself though, hmm?”

From the kitchen, the kettle started screeching in a way similar to what you wanted to do at that moment. You gasped a little from the sudden noise, and glanced away from Jackson and towards the source of a new surprise.

“Always interrupted, huh?” You let out a single, exhausted laugh at that. The words he spoke prior still getting the better of your ability to focus properly. Perhaps noticing this, Jackson also let out a small laugh, and pressed a kiss against your cheek, “I tease you too much, baby, I’m sorry.” And as if he wasn’t sorry at all, he shuffled up from the couch and out of sight in the kitchen.

Clenching your fist at that, you exhaled and released the tension from your shoulders. He was so unfair. Your head shook softly, and you stood up off the couch. He could tell this whole time, and simply relished in the idea that you could not handle yourself properly around him. Leading you to think he was about to shove you against a wall with his lips on his, and instead finding something to giggle at and break every bit of built up tension.

“Jackson.” You stepped into the kitchen with him; a fairly small space of grey marble counters, and a window over the sink that let the moonlight mix in with the fluorescence hanging over head. Jackson turned from the mugs in front of him and to you. His hands pressed on the counter, waiting for the tea to infuse with the steaming water before beginning to stir at all. “You do tease me too much.”

“Sorry,” He chuckled, returning his gaze back to the drinks and running a hand up and through his hair. “With how you look, I can’t help it.” The voice he used was a bit playful, but you could feel the grit he had saying it from his own little hidden thoughts.

“But babe,” You exhaled slowly, and took your lip in between your teeth. Holding back a smirk when he turned to look at you once more, as you stepped closer to him, you simply continued on, “I’m tired of you just teasing.” It was your turn now. You realized this as his eyes went from yours and down your figure, his thumb tapping a muted beat against the countertop. Jackson scoffed softly at himself, and faced his head back towards the mugs.

“If want something more,” He began in a hushed voice-- a voice similar with a sort of roughness like when he awakens from sleep, but laced generously in a heavy amount of lust, “Baby girl, you only had to ask.” And that control you had in your grasp seemed to be gone as quickly as he spun on his heel.

His hands took hold of your hips as he stepped against you his lips attaching to yours without allowing you the time to take in much more than a short inhale of oxygen. With the slightest amount of force, and a greater piece of carefulness he walked you backwards to the counter opposite. Your waist tapped against the dark marble for a second before you were lifted up with ease by Jackson. He sat you on the edge of the counter, leaving his hands attached with a needy grip to your thighs that he pushed apart and slid in between too.

The kiss finally came to an end and you were already left breathing much heavier than before as you looked into the eyes only centimeters from your own. Jackson’s breaths were not nearly as labored, instead his tongue leisurely ran along his lips, watching you with a new tone of deep color you weren’t used to seeing in his irises.

“Do you want me to keep going, baby?” He asked you, breath running into your collarbone. You nodded swiftly, almost automatically trying to press your legs back together, but his hands squeezed them back into place. “Oh, you really want me, hmm?” He watched you nod again, unable to properly catch your breath from the anticipation of what was to come. “Then tell me, baby. All I want is to hear your voice say it.” Just as you were going to comply, Jackson’s lips were placed against your neck, roughly leaving a trail of kisses.

“Jackson.” You whimpered out, hands finding their way to the back of his head and shoulder as you gripped tightly. “Jackson, I want you so badly.”

“Want me how?” He teased you, even though not five minutes ago he was admitting to doing it too much. As you gasped from his lips finding their way to the sensitive skin beneath your jawline, he ceased in the line of kisses and worked his teeth against that spot that made you moan from his contact. “What do you want me to do, baby?”

“Fuck me,” You whimpered tightening your legs around his slim waist. He let out a sly chuckle against the skin that he no doubt left red. Moving his hands upwards along your thighs, he pulled his head back only to go back in and kiss you passionately. The second gasp you made was from his hands reaching behind you to squeeze your ass and pull your pelvis against him, “Please just fuck me, quickly.”

“Slow down, jagi.” He grinned like all the reactions you made were fueling him on in the best way. “I’m gonna take my time with you. I want to take in every bit of it.” As frustrating as the idea seemed, because of the desire for him to have you right there was growing rapidly inside you, you still found yourself holding onto that underlying message that this meant a lot to him.

Every opportunity before this, the moments of course were not right. There were people around, or time shortages. You didn’t deny that he and you would be able to get one out quickly, but this wasn’t something he felt needed to be rushed. Like you were thinking too: this was all new to your relationship. You were so unable to put a name on those moments were his hands were left on your skin, or you couldn’t stop staring at your lips, because the relationship hadn’t hit that milestone yet. In the first place, you both met months before even starting to date; to the two of you, this intimate moment should be savored.

Your back was laid onto his bed, the sweater you wore being tossed to the floor by Jackson. His hands pressed to the space beside either side of your neck. You dragged him right against you with your arms wrapping around his neck and kissed him eagerly. You felt him smile against your lips, but only for a short moment as he began running his hands along your newly exposed skin. The cool touch of his fingers sent shivers down your spine, only elevating the sensation you felt.

Your hands found their way to the buttons of his own top, and undid each within a short amount of time. Jackson pulled himself back upright on his knees, as he shrugged the top off of his shoulders, leaving you breathing softly and gazing up at the muscle definition you knew he worked so hard to have. Propping yourself up enough for your fingertips to run gently over his abdomen, you felt the situation become slow as you simply admired the person who you were able to call yours.

“You’re really beautiful.” Absently, the words escaped your lips. Your fingers felt his muscles contract as he softly laughed, and you looked up at him just in time to catch him glance to the side and then back to you.

“You always surprise me.” He admitted, lowering himself back over you, but simply stopping to look you over. “Just so you know,” Jackson said as he ran a hand along your side, not meeting his eyes with yours until he continued, “I didn’t want to tease you that much, but I was afraid I was rushing things all those other times. Maybe it’s not really the time, but you’re so important to me, and I really don’t want to mess anything up.”

“You’re not, baby.” Reaching out to softly cup his face with your hands, you simply shrugged, “I want this. I mean,” You bit your lips and felt your cheeks flushing, “Obviously you know that, since you make me a frustrated mess half the time.” He chuckled, smiling down at you fondly despite the situation surrounding the two of you,

“You were not the only one, baby.” Jackson said quietly, leaning forward and kissing you softly. “I don’t really get to show you in public, but I care about you a lot. Trust me, I really wanted this too, but it’s you, so it had to be special,” He sighed in exasperation, and shook his head as he smiled, “You make me such a softie. Does this sound dumb?”