#izana angst

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chapter twenty-four

it was the night before their summer trip, and, well… y/n and mikey were doing their usual thing.

she was curled up on her vanity chair, legs tucked up as she scrolled through tiktok, while mikey sat behind her, carefully blow-drying her damp hair. freshly showered, skin warm and dewy.

these little moments—quiet and mundane—felt strangely precious to mikey. just him and y/n, in their own world. whatever this was, it had become a part of his routine. their routine.

and by routine, it meant y/n’s skincare session. living with her meant he didn’t have much of a choice—he had to adapt. he was pulled into her habits, her steps, her rules. and somehow, he didn’t really mind. not when it came with moments like this.

he turned off the dryer with a soft click, placing it back in the drawer beneath her vanity. then, leaning in, he went straight for a kiss.

“no,” y/n shifted away just in time, making him miss. “i told you—you can’t kiss me. we’re doing our skin care night.”

mikey huffed dramatically, lips still close. “can’t i just give my girlfriend a little kiss?”

y/n gave him a look—a mix of annoyance and flustered heat—and rolled her eyes. “i’m not your girlfriend.”

oh. right. the boyfriend-girlfriend talk from a few weeks ago. ever since mikey had that silly conversation with her dad, he hadn’t let it go. he’d been calling her his girlfriend ever since. it annoyed her. flustered her. made her blush every damn time. and he knew it. which was exactly why he kept doing it.

mikey stole a quick kiss anyway, brushing his lips against hers before she could dodge again.

y/n glared at him, pouting even as her cheeks turned a shade too pink.

mikey just grinned, eyes soft. she looked so damn cute like this.

the night went on in their usual rhythm—silly teasing, soft laughter, face masks smeared on their cheeks, and a netflix show playing in the background neither of them was really watching.

and by morning, they were up early, already packing for the trip.

“sooo… which one’s better?” y/n asked, holding up two swimsuits—one a sleek, sexy black one-piece, the other a striking red two-piece.

mikey was lounging on the bed, his back resting against the headboard, arms crossed as he watched her with a lazy grin. he had already finished packing—of course—and now it was just y/n, still deliberating over her last item.

“try them on first,” he said, biting his lip as his gaze shamelessly dropped to her legs.

y/n narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “i don’t like where this is heading.”

“c’mon,” mikey shrugged innocently, “how am i supposed to choose if i can’t see you in them?”

“unless you want emma scolding us for being late, i suggest we stop now.”

“so you admit you can’t resist me?” mikey teased, his smirk growing wider.

“don’t flatter yourself, sano,” she shot back with a grin, tossing both swimsuits into her suitcase. “i’ll just bring both.”

mikey pushed off the bed, stepping close until he was standing right in front of her. his hands found her waist, pulling her just a little closer. his eyes searched hers, glinting with mischief. y/n smirked too, placing her hands on his chest, not backing down.

he leaned in, lips almost brushing hers—

DING-DONG!!!

someone violently murdered the doorbell.

“fucking great,” mikey groaned, pulling back dramatically.

y/n laughed, brushing him off gently. “i’ll get the door. it’s probably them.”

she made her way to the entrance, and sure enough, an overly excited emma stood there, sunglasses on and two bags in hand, looking like a walking summer ad.

“omg!!! i’m so, so excited. i can finally feel the real summer. god, i shouldn’t have taken that summer class,” emma whined dramatically.

y/n couldn’t help but laugh. and just then, mikey appeared behind her, casually walking past them with a suitcase in one hand and a duffel in the other, heading toward the car.

“i thought we were using shin’s car?” mikey asked, eyeing the situation.

draken, already looking mildly stressed, muttered, “ask your sister.”

“uhm, so… i may or may not have brought two suitcases and—”

“those bags in your hands aren’t enough?” mikey deadpanned. “you packed like we’re leaving the country and not coming back.”

emma huffed. “well, i already rented a bigger car for us, so shut up!”

“you mean i rented the car last minute?” draken added dryly.

“it was my idea!” emma defended, chin high.

“thank you so much for the idea, ma’am,” draken said with dramatic sarcasm.

mikey just shook his head, loading their bags into the trunk.

the sound of a car door closing caught their attention, and izana stepped out from the driver’s seat.

“let me help you with that,” he offered.

“thanks,” mikey nodded, letting him take one of the bags.

“you’re driving?” mikey asked, making casual conversation as they worked.

“yeah. your sister said i should because i’m ‘the oldest,’” izana said, doing air quotes. “and i couldn’t exactly say no to the boss, right?”

mikey laughed under his breath.

but then… silence.

both brothers turned toward the front of the house, spotting emma and y/n standing frozen, expressions slightly stunned.

draken, completely unfazed, just leaned into the car, smoking like this was none of his business.

“what?” mikey asked, confused.

emma turned to y/n and muttered, “i shouldn’t have drank that much at mikey’s birthday party.”

“yeah,” y/n agreed under her breath.

soon enough, everyone started getting into the car—izana in the driver’s seat, draken in front, y/n slipping into the back. it was peaceful for about five seconds until—

“MIKEY!!!! I HATE YOU!!!” emma screeched. “you already had y/n all by yourself in your damn apartment, let me sit beside her!!!” she started yanking on mikey’s arm, trying to pull him out of the seat.

mikey, already seated beside y/n, dramatically slumped against her shoulder, clinging to her with his eyes shut. “shh.”

“you little troll—move!” emma tried pulling him out by the arm, but he clung harder to y/n.

draken sighed, rubbing his temple. “em, do you want to sit up here? we’ll even let you play your playlists.”

emma paused. visibly thinking.

“…fine,” she huffed. “but i’m playing all the summer anthems.”

draken got out of the passenger seat, and emma moved from the back to take his place. once they switched, everyone settled in.

“can i drive now?” izana asked, deadpan and exhausted already.

and with that, they were finally off—headed to the beach.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

emma was belting out summer hits like it was her personal concert, draken was quietly regretting his life choices, izana had both hands on the wheel like a responsible dad, mikey was leaning on y/n, and y/n was somewhere between laughing and filming it all for her memory.

they made a few chaotic stops along the way—took blurry group pics in front of scenic spots, raided a convenience store for snacks they definitely didn’t need, and bought matching sunglasses they’d probably forget at the beach house.

overall, it was chaotic, loud, and absolutely perfect.

and after hours of driving, they finally pulled up to y/n’s family’s beach house.

it was stunning. sun-drenched, spacious, and honestly? it looked like something out of a movie.

“this is sooo nice, y/n! oh my god!” emma beamed the moment they stepped inside the beach house, already heading off to explore every corner like she wasn’t even tired from the drive.

the boys followed in with the bags, mikey immediately kicking his flip-flops off like he owned the place.

there were only three rooms—one was clearly the master bedroom, the other was y/n’s old bedroom, and the last was a guest room. only two of the rooms could accommodate couples, so naturally, emma clung to draken and claimed the guest room for them. which left the master bedroom to mikey and y/n.

izana? well, he ended up in y/n’s bedroom. alone.

in the master bedroom, mikey was already tossing their bags onto the bed while y/n unpacked with her usual focus. “so technically… this is your parents’ room, right?” mikey asked, flopping down dramatically on the mattress.

“eh, not really,” she shrugged with a grin, bouncing lightly as she sat beside him. “this bed’s mine now. dad decided to give the whole place to me.”

mikey leaned in, eyes soft, smirk playing on his lips. “does that mean… i get to have you here?”

y/n cupped his cheeks, smile never fading. she nodded, “all yours.”

and just like that, their lips met. warm, eager. the kiss deepened quickly, sun pooling in golden ribbons through the window, lighting up her face. mikey pulled back for a second, just to admire her.

“god, you’re so beautiful,” he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

y/n laughed, cheeks tinted with pink. “shut up,” she mumbled—but then he kissed her again, slower, deeper, like they had all the time in the world.

until—

BANG BANG BANG

“y/n!!! mikey!!! come have snacks!! i made something!!” emma’s voice rang out from behind the door.

mikey groaned, dropping his forehead to her shoulder. “i swear she does this on purpose.”

y/n was breathlessly laughing as she adjusted her top, slipping off the bed. mikey went to open the door, grumbling.

“were you born just to annoy the shit out of me?” he deadpanned at emma.

emma gasped, mock-offended. “aw, poor mikey. did you get cockblocked again?”

mikey shot her a glare and muttered something under his breath before walking off to where draken was. emma laughed so hard she wheezed, already skipping off to the kitchen. y/n followed shortly after, only to pause at the end of the hall.

her old bedroom door was cracked open.

curious, she gave a soft knock.

she knocked gently. “hey… why aren’t you downstairs?”

izana looked up, offering a small smile. “just needed a bit of rest. driving all the way here was kinda exhausting… especially when your sister acts like a pop-star the whole ride,” he chuckled softly.

y/n chuckled and sat beside him. “are you comfortable here? sorry if it’s messy…”

“no, it’s perfect. thanks for letting me in here.” he looked at her then, sincere. “really.”

she smiled shyly. “i figured emma wouldn’t sleep unless she’s glued to ken’s side, and well… i doubt you’d wanna room with mikey.”

“god, no.” they both laughed.

his eyes wandered around the room before landing on the small stand filled with beach photos from years ago. he walked over to it and picked one up. “these your parents?”

“mhm,” she nodded.

he glanced at her. “you stopped taking pictures when you got older?”

“yeah… after mom died, i didn’t really come back here. just didn’t feel like summer without her.”

“shit,” izana said quickly, “i’m so sorry—i didn’t mean to bring that up—”

“it’s okay,” she laughed at his panicked expression. “i didn’t really have time or people to come here with anyway. my dad’s abroad, and it’s just me...”

she glanced at him with a small, grateful smile. “but now you’re all here. so… thanks, izana. really. it means a lot.”

that made something in him pause. her words hit deeper than they probably should’ve. because for the first time in a while, someone made him feel like he belonged.

izana turned his attention back to the shelf, and one particular photo caught his eye—a small, framed picture of little y/n, crying hysterically with a giant fish beside her.

he grinned.

“you look adorable here. should i show this to mikey?”

y/n’s soul left her body. “don’t you dare—!” she lunged for the photo, but izana only laughed, holding it up just out of her reach.

“izana! give it back! i hate you!” she yelled, laughing as she chased him around the room.

but the universe had a wicked sense of timing.

y/n’s foot caught on the strap of izana’s bag. he stumbled backward, falling onto the bed—y/n crashing right on top of him.

the laughter died.

and they landed. her on top of him. breath caught. heart racing.

they didn’t move. didn’t even blink. the silence was charged. his hands were still on her waist. her face was inches from his. both of them too aware, too quiet.

“…y/n, are you—”

SLAM

“here…” emma barged in holding a plate of cookies—and froze.

izana shot up. y/n scrambled off him like the floor burned.

“give me that,” y/n muttered, snatching the photo from his hand like nothing happened.

he let her take it, still processing.

she brushed past emma and darted downstairs.

emma blinked, eyes following y/n, then slowly turned back to izana, still half-sprawled on the bed.

“…sooo. do you want some cookies?”

izana, who looked like he’d just had an out-of-body experience, nodded silently.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

the sun had begun its slow descent, casting gold across the waves and streaking the sky in orange and pink. it was late in the afternoon now, that golden stretch between three and four when the sun started to dip but hadn’t quite begun to set—and if y/n had to describe the day so far in one word, it’d be: chaotic.

the beach house opened straight out to the sand, and the pool was just a few steps away. draken was already down by the water, standing with his hands in his pockets, letting the breeze mess up his hair. emma, ever the diva, had claimed one of the lounge chairs near the pool, sunglasses on, drink in hand, fully committed to sunbathing.

meanwhile, y/n was in the middle of wrestling mikey into sitting still.

“stop moving! i need to put sunscreen on you!” she hissed, squeezing another glob into her palm while mikey squirmed away like a kid.

“y/nnn, the sun’s already going down!” he whined. “why do i still need this? we’re practically in the shade!”

y/n rolled her eyes. “yeah, and you’ll still burn, dumbass. now shut up and stay still.”

living with mikey meant learning a lot of things. like the fact that he may be a gang leader, but deep down? he was just a dramatic, stubborn child in desperate need of supervision.

“there,” she said triumphantly, rubbing the last bit of sunscreen onto his face. “now get out of my sight.”

mikey didn’t need to be told twice. he took off, sprinting toward the beach where draken waited.

behind her, emma let out a sigh.

“you need to stop babying my brother. seriously. he’ll never grow up at this rate. just look at him.”

y/n sat down beside her, laughing softly. “it’s fine. i don’t mind. besides… i kinda like seeing this side of him.”

emma glanced at her over her sunglasses, but didn’t say anything.

just then, izana joined them, plopping onto the lounge chair near emma’s feet. “what’s going on? weren’t you two gonna swim?”

“this is the only time i’ll be apart from mikey this entire vacation,” emma said dramatically. “i’m savoring the silence.”

izana chuckled.

“what about you?” izana asked, turning his attention to yn. “you don’t like the sea?”

“not really. i’ve never been a fan. i prefer the pool,” she said, watching the waves crash in the distance.

“babes,” emma said suddenly, turning to y/n. “question.”

“hm?”

“so like… i saw a bunch of people setting up beside the beach house. is that a public party?”

“ah, yeah,” yn said. “i was actually gonna ask if you all wanted to go later tonight—”

“omg, yes!!” emma cut her off, already too excited.

izana just laughed under his breath, shaking his head. y/n grinned and stood up.

“i’m gonna dip in the pool for a bit. see you guys later.”

both siblings nodded, watching her go. once she disappeared into the water, izana stood up as well.

he didn’t say anything, just quietly headed toward the house to change and join y/n in the pool. still, there was a knot in his chest he couldn’t shake. he didn’t want things to stay awkward—not after what happened between them at the mall—or at her childhood bedroom. she was important to him. a friend. someone who felt like home in a way nothing else did.

he just wanted to spend time with her again.

but when he came back out, that quiet hope collapsed in on itself.

there she was—already in the pool. and so was mikey.

they weren’t just swimming. they were laughing. close. too close. mikey’s hand rested easily on her waist, their bodies half-draped against each other in the water. and before izana could turn away, he saw it—mikey leaned in and stole a kiss from her lips.

izana stopped breathing.

he stood there for a second too long before pulling himself together. whatever flickered in his chest—whatever ache that was—he buried it fast. the last thing he needed was for anyone to notice. especially emma.

so he walked over to her, sat back down quietly, and stared out at the sea. didn’t say a word.

emma suddenly spoke—didn’t even turn her head. “you like her, don’t you?”

izana froze. “what?”

“i’m not blind, you idiot,” she said, sipping her drink. “and i know both you and mikey better than anyone. don’t insult me.”

izana looked away. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

emma smirked. “when did it start?”

“it didn’t.”

izana’s reply came too fast, his tone a little too flat.

she gave him a look. “you’re really gonna lie to my face?”

he didn’t answer, just leaned back slightly.

emma crossed her arms, one brow slowly lifting.

he sighed, annoyed—at her, at himself, maybe both. “i didn’t… feel anything like that.”

he stayed silent for a moment, then let out a quiet breath—because of course he couldn’t hold out against emma. not when she was looking at him like that.

emma waited. “so?”

izana hesitated.

“well… maybe it started when you used to talk about her to me on the phone. back when i was away,” he admitted, voice low. “you’d go on about how kind she was, what she was like as a person.”

he paused, eyes distant.

“or when you’d send me pictures of you with her. i didn’t even think much of it back then. i just… liked looking at her—or hearing her name.”

his lips curled into a faint, fake chuckle. “kind of your fault, really. you only ever talked about y/n.”

his fingers toyed with the hem of his shorts.

“…or maybe it was the night i saw her at the park. she was by herself. that was the first time i saw her in person… the night i had just gotten back.”

“ohhh, so that’s why you two seemed a little too familiar when you met,” emma said, narrowing her eyes. “you’d already seen her in person before i introduced you.”

izana nodded. his voice trailed off.

“so yeah… i don’t know,” he said quietly. “it just… happened.”

he laughed under his breath. “fuck, i sound so cheesy, don’t i?”

emma nodded. “a little bit.”

they both looked over at the pool.

mikey had pulled y/n closer, whispering something that made her laugh. again. and again. as if he was the only one in the world allowed to make her laugh like that.

emma’s voice was softer now. “but mikey was already there.”

izana’s smile faltered.

“yeah,” he whispered. “and i couldn’t do that to him. not again. not after everything. he’s finally smiling like he used to. he’s finally healing.”

he swallowed hard.

“i’m not gonna be the reason he falls apart again.”

emma nodded. they sat in silence for a long time, listening to the waves, the laughter, the distant sound of something slipping out of reach.

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨

At the exact moment he received the notice announcing that his girl was in the hospital after an attempt to take her own life, Manjiro did not hesitate to go to the place at the same time, so when he arrived at the hospital, the first thing he did was try to find out the condition of his beloved, until then, still hoping to find her well again.

As soon as he saw one of the doctors pass him in that freezing hallway, Manjiro immediately questioned how the girl was, "S-she's okay, isn't she? How is she?" Insistently, he questioned, however, the doctor only gave the news that the girl had not survived her to injuries.

At that same time, Manjiro felt as if his world was collapsing, he couldn't even believe it and for a brief moment, he still begged for that fact to be nothing more than a simple mistake, despite that, when part of him accepted what had really happened, the boy felt completely apathetic, as if some kind of emptiness took over him, after that event, Manjiro was never the same or could come back to his normal state, all he felt was guilt.

𝐈𝐳𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐊𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚

"Baby?" He looked for his loved one in every room of that house, until he entered the bedroom and saw water running under the bathroom door, tension spread throughout his body, but he did not lack the courage to open that same door.

When faced with such a scene, Izana hurried to try to save her, even doing anything at that moment, he couldn't believe his own eyes when he saw that it was already too late, even trying to stay in hope.

Although he could still save her life, the boy burst into tears when he realized that there was nothing left that could bring his beloved back.

After that day, Izana was never the same, becoming even more closed in his own world and carrying the guilt he condemned himself for not having arrived sooner to avoid all that tragedy.

𝐊𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐨 𝐇𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐨

Upon receiving the news that his loved one had just been hospitalized, the boy left everything behind, overcome by worry, he could barely think about what he would do if something bad actually happened.

When he arrived at the place, he immediately went to find out about the girl's condition, but, as soon as he learned the worst news he could receive, Kakucho just refused to accept that she hadn't resisted.

Alone, sitting in an empty corridor of a hospital, still in denial, he remained at the door of the room where his loved one was, when he cruelly realized that he would never see her alive again, he could not control his incessant crying, sitting on that floor, blaming himself for not having saved her from herself, he would definitely never be able to feel joy again, no longer caring about being alive or not, after all, after that day, the boy no longer felt anything.

𝐑𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢

Finding his beloved's absence strange when he arrived home, something like an intuition made the heart of the tallest one feel distressed, for this reason, it didn't take him long to go up the stairs and look for her, the moment he opened the bedroom door, he saw her, but not as he wanted and then, the blood spread on the floor announced the tragedy that had occurred. "Shit... Shit!" The boy held the girl on his lap and took her to the hospital, believing that he could still save her.

Pacing insistently from side to side, Ran waited in anguish of worry, however, once he could finally be notified of the condition of his gentle girl, he could not believe that she simply had not resisted.

"She's gone... I couldn't save her, I failed." He repeated to himself sitting in one of the hospital chairs, Ran couldn't shed a tear or simply have any reaction other than blaming himself for not having made her stay, even if he had already accepted that he would never see her again, he still He refused to accept that she had left in such a cruel way, so this fact directly affected him, making him completely empty and with a coldness he had never seen before.

𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢

"C'mon, don't do this to me, wake up, please, wake up..." Holding the girl in his arms, he did his best to try to save her and have time to take her to the hospital, but his hopes were destroyed when it happened realizing that she was leaving before his own eyes, even though he didn't want to and couldn't accept that he would lose her that night, Rindou hugged her, still trying to make her get rid of those medications, despite all his efforts, he instinctively He knew she was gone when he felt his skin turning cold.

"Baby? Baby, please, wake up!" He began to cry compulsively when he saw her leave before his eyes and in her arms she rested, Rindou just begged for her forgiveness for not having saved her and even if the girl could return to forgive him, the sameHe would carry that pain and guilt for the rest of his life and he did so, Rindou was never able to forgive himself.

𝐁𝐚𝐣𝐢 𝐊𝐞𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐞

"S-she... tell me, tells me how she is, now!" Arriving at the hospital after receiving such shocking news, Baji immediately went to find out about the girl's condition, no matter how much he tried to control himself or just remain calm, he could not deny himself that he expected the worst, and when unfortunately his intuition did not made a mistake, Baji could not accept that he had lost his beloved so unexpectedly.

Sitting on the hospital floor, he just begged for it to be a mistake or a lie. "...She's fine, this...this can't be real, it's a fucking nightmare." He repeated, despite this, when he realized that it had really happened, his heart broke instantly, the pain caused by the loss of the girl being one of the worst things he could feel.

the first time izana ghosted you into your first month in the relationship had been hard for you

worrying about him, texting him, calling him, you'd even asked kakucho how izana had been doing

but all the texting had been left on read and all calls being ignored and even sometimes declined, it hurt the first couple of times but eventually it became an almost normal routine

your last text to izana was today at 8:54pm

you saw izana read it but once again decided to not respond, usually, this would drive you up the wall and make you text, and call repeatedly but seeing it not going anywhere you started to text every two hours or so to make sure he was well and alive

if you were lucky enough during the ghosting period kakucho would text you that izana is doing well and he might even stop by

you let out a disappointed sigh and dropped your phone on the bed, getting up to walk into the kitchen to grab some water for yourself before continuing into the living room

sitting down on your couch and turning on the tv for something to entertain you before going to bed early

maybe around 9:21pm you heard loud knocking on the front door

your heart quickened, already knowing who was on the other side of the door waiting to be let inside

rushing to turn the doorknob and letting an exhausted izana fall right into your arms, he wrapped his arms around your lower back and pressed himself tightly against you

squishing his face between your shoulder and neck and letting a relieved sigh escape onto your skin

"im sorry.. i won't leave again.." he mumbled into your shoulder

liar, you knew that was a lie, he knew it was a lie....but you couldn't let yourself be bothered by it anymore you were just happy he was in your arms again, warm and safe

"izana you really are like a stray cat, y'know?" you stated

you could feel izana scoff and he leaned his head back to look at you in the eyes "are you comparing me to a cat again? you're so weird, love.."

chuckling and leaned your face slightly towards him, indicating you wanted a kiss from him and thankfully he complied and initiated the kiss

it was soft and gentle, with so much love hidden away..

moving your hands slowly around the back of his neck, izana too tightened his hold on your waist, he pulled back from the kiss moving his head to kiss your cheek softly, before laying his forehead against your shoulder again

both of you enjoying the company of each other

but you had to soak it up more, enjoy it more, because you knew izana would again leave you in the apartment without any knowledge of when you would see him again...

an ... yooooo umm haven't posted anything in a while so, here have this for the time being lmao :D

It was always Toman this, Toman that with Izana Kurokawa. He barely had any time for you nowadays, especially since he was leading the biggest gang in the country, and great responsibilities unfortunately came with even greater demands. Izana was currently Toman’s leader since his half-brother Manjiro was out of the picture and the gang’s second-in-command, Kisaki, was hiding from the government, leaving him no choice but to flee the country.

With these changes in place, it left Izana with more burden to bear which ultimately left the two of you to spend less time together. The endless nights spent cuddling inside his high-rise apartment turned into watching movies alone amongst the vast decorated living room while waiting for him to get home; romantic date nights turned into sleepless nights alone on the king-sized bed, sheets cold due to the lack of Izana’s presence. It honestly drove you up the wall.

You weren’t new to the underworld, not at all. You’ve been by Izana’s side long enough to see him transition from being Black Dragon’s 8th generation leader to Yokohama Tenjiku’s Boss to finally being Toman’s top. The shift from Black Dragon to Toman was completely drastic; back then, Black Dragon was merely Tokyo’s motorcycle gang made up of young teenagers wanting to rule the city. On the other hand, Toman was different, it was the worst gang to ever be made in Japan.

Toman was involved in a vast amount of organised crimes around the country, whether it be dealing with drugs, taking one’s life or theft, it had Toman’s name written all over it, and the person behind it all was none other than your boyfriend.

Izana was a very important person who had a great deal of connections nationwide to cover the tracks of Toman’s organised crimes and whereabouts. That was the responsibility that came with being the boss.

Of course, you never meddled or interfered with his ‘work’ life—also because Izana never really wanted you involved in any of it—but it was almost like he completely disappeared from your life. You often found yourself lonely most of the time, hoping and praying that your boyfriend would come home to you each night and at a reasonable time; sometimes, you’d be pulled from your sleep in the middle of the night and you would see your boyfriend peacefully sleeping next to you, an arm protectively draped over your waist.

Other times, you would stretch your arms out in your sleep, only to be woken up by the lack of his presence, your heart sinking to your stomach once you realise that another night has passed without your boyfriend and you were left with nothing. These nights happened more often than not and it was usually accompanied by the same old text he sends,

‘Will be home late. Don’t wait for me. I love you.’

You knew it was silly to be whining about something like this because you knew exactly what you were getting yourself into when you promised to stay by Izana’s side. You know the demands of being an important person—the demands of being the top but your relationship also has its demands, for time, attention, and love.

Nowadays, it just seemed like the spark between the two of you was gone, like water had been splashed on the blazing fire of his love for you. He’d always come home tired, always in a mood and would barely even spare you a glance; he’d also leave soon after he came back, only spending at least a few hours in your shared space and then he’d disappear into the night without a single trace.

It hurt you a lot to see how cold your relationship has gone ever since Izana was appointed as Toman’s boss, it felt like you were pushed to the side without much of a choice. You wanted to bring this up with him, you really did but every time he came home to you, he looked so.. tired. Dark circles formed under his orchid eyes and he lost quite a bit of weight, presumably from the stress of handling the gang, and you didn’t want to add anymore problems to his plate.

But you knew you just weren’t going to sit on the sidelines and let your heart and feelings wander off. No, you weren’t going to let that happen.

Your ears perked up at the soft beeping of the metal door followed by the loud click of the lock, indicating that someone had opened it from the outside. From the dimly lit hallway emerged Izana, rubbing his amethyst eyes as he let out a deep sigh, his shoulders slumped forward clearly from exhaustion. Your boyfriend’s gaze darted over to your figure sitting on the couch, your eyes already on him; his face softened as he walked over to you, “Sweetheart, what are you doing up? It’s almost four in the morning..” he rested a hand at the back of your head as he brought you closer to his abdomen, hugging you.

Nuzzling your face into his torso, you inhaled his scent, missing the way it engulfed you every single night. “I just missed you so much, ‘Zana… you never come home to me anymore.” You pulled away from his body, looking up at him through your lashes, he was already looking down at you—his starlight-like hair radiated from the soft glow of the TV behind him, making him look oh, so ethereal. Izana’s face fell as he let out another sigh,

“Sweetheart, we’ve already talked about this.. you know how it gets—” “I know, babe. You’ve told me a lot of times but it seems like I’m not even in a relationship with you anymore.”

You looked off to the side, avoiding his crestfallen face. Izana might be feared by many but in your eyes, he was just a man who needed love and attention, a man who willingly gave you his heart to love and care for. He was everything you ever wanted and you hated doing this to him, confronting him about your relationship but it needed to be done because you needed to know where his priorities lie.. and if it didn’t include a future with you, you didn’t know if you were still going to hold on to what you two had left of your relationship.

During the days and nights spent alone, you spent them with your raging thoughts. Thoughts that weren’t pretty and kind—thoughts that made you question your relationship with him. What if he was seeing someone else? You’ve thought about it a lot, and as much as it broke your heart, it is possible given the amount of time the two of you barely spent together—the amount of times you were left all alone in his high-rise apartment, trying not to jump into sudden conclusions.

“If you’re.. if you’re seeing someone else, all you have to do is just tell me, Izana.” 

You didn’t use his nickname or a pet name which indicated how serious you were about this; Izana was shocked, he had mixed feelings. How could you say that to his face? How could you accuse him of cheating on you with another woman whilst using his nickname at the same time? Have you lost that much faith in your relationship?

The man standing before you opened his mouth but nothing came out, he didn’t know what to say to you because he was hurt and taken aback that you’d accuse him of such a thing. Yes, he was a busy and a wanted man but on top of all that he was loyal—not only to his gang but to you. He could not have asked for more ever since he met you. You, who stayed by his side long enough to know the real him, long enough to know that he would never do you like that.

So, why were you—out of all people—questioning his loyalty?

You acted like you didn’t even know who he was. “How dare you..?” He whispered, confusion evident in his tone. His arms unwrapped from yours and you were suddenly hit with the cool early morning air, immediately missing the way his warmth engulfed your body.

Izana felt guilty that he made you feel like he was not loyal to you but he was also upset and angry because why would you even think that way? And in times like these where he had a storm of feelings swirling in his chest, anger always took over. You looked back up at your boyfriend, suddenly feeling regretful that you even brought it up but by the look he gave you, he wasn’t going to let this down.

“Why would you accuse me of such a thing?! I work tirelessly for you! For us! So we have a future ahead and this is how you repay me? By thinking I’m sleeping around with someone else?”

Repay him? Your blood boiled. He acted like you owed him your life or something; it was Izana’s idea for you to not work anymore since he could splendidly provide for the two of you, you were hesitant at first but it took enough convincing from your boyfriend to finally cave in, and now he was acting like you’re a complete burden to him. You stood up from the couch, a scowl plastered upon your face as you crossed your arms over your chest, “Repay you? What do you even take me as, Izana? I wasn’t some damsel in distress when I said ‘yes’ to a relationship with you! Mind you, you were the one who begged me to not work anymore!”

He scoffed, looking over to the side, he stuck his tongue against his cheeks—a habit he usually does when he’s fuming. Oh, he could fight you all he wanted but you weren’t going to back down. You weren’t going to settle for the bare minimum he’s been giving you for the past couple of weeks. Izana closed his eyes, taking deep breaths before opening his mouth again, “I know that, okay? And I’m not cheating on you—god, I would never do that. I don’t even know where you got that silly idea from..” He shook his head before turning around to head for the hallway that led towards the door he just entered.

Your scowl quickly turned into a panicked expression, arms uncrossing from your chest as your eyes keenly watched his every move. Izana looked over his shoulder as he put his shoes on, “I’m not going to sit here and argue with you, sweetheart.. I’m going to sleep at Kakucho’s, it seems like we need to clear our thoughts for a bit.. cool off.” And with that, he grabbed the door handle and disappeared—just like he always did.

But this time, he wanted this.

The loud clang of the metal door closing reverberated through the whole apartment, the sound ringing in your ears as if to mock you. You stood there, rooted to the floor, unmoving and speechless—your chest heaved up and down as your eyes brimmed with tears. You could feel your chest closing in on you, everything felt suffocating, you didn’t know what to do. All you wanted was him, Izana, but the man who your heart yearned for left you. He left you all alone in this cold, uninviting apartment—an apartment of what used to be full of love and laughter.

You never regret something so fast. You wished you didn’t have to say that but it wasn’t like you were wrong because it was all facts. Izana never had time for you, that was the cold hard truth, and for someone who didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger to take one’s life, he was a coward for trying to avoid the truth.

That night, Izana stared up at the ceiling of Kakucho’s guest bedroom after finally convincing his best friend to let him crash for the night. Just as he’d expected, the younger man did not hesitate to try and shut the door on Izana’s face after telling him that he had an argument with you and wanted to ‘cool off’. Kakucho was persistent, telling the older man to go back home to you and fix whatever this whole thing was; truth is, Izana wanted to but he was tired. He needed his mind cleared before addressing such issues, he figured it was best to do so with a clear head before any of you said anything that would end in regret.

He’d come back to you. He always did. But right now, he just needed a breather.

You only got about a few hours of sleep before the sun shone through the window to remind you of the day ahead, heart sinking due to the lack of Izana’s presence laying right next to you. You were still upset at him, yes, but also worried about his well-being—you just wished he’d come home to you and forget about what happened a few hours earlier because now that your mind was less occupied, you did regret accusing him of seeing someone else.

You knew Izana more than anyone else, and out of all people, you shouldn’t have questioned his loyalty like that. Not when you knew how much he cherished and loved you, all of you. Sometimes there are things that are beyond one’s control, and you thought that maybe this whole thing fell into that category. You weren’t ready to tank this relationship—never, because you love him and that’s all that matters.

There’s been a lingering idea in your head to try to at least get his attention, and you figured today would be the best time to do it—he could think of it as a peace offering too.

After going through the hassle of shopping for a new pair of lingerie since all the other ones either ended up ripped—thanks to Izana—or simply weren’t enticing enough, you finally found the right set. The one that you knew Izana was going to lose his mind over, and of course, it was the same shade as his eyes, orchid; he never really admitted it to you, but you knew how riled up he got whenever you’d get lingerie sets that matched his pretty eyes.

You stood in front of the body length mirror inside your’s and Izana’s bedroom, wearing the lingerie you had bought earlier today; it was a purple two-piece lingerie set decorated with feathers and chains, and of course, like every other man, Izana had a weakness. Lace. The thin silver chains attached to the top part of the cup accentuated your upper bust, little feathers decorated the shoulder straps. The matching panties were just as daring, almost transparent and barely covering anything.

After taking several pictures, you found the one you liked best and immediately sent the photo to your boyfriend, along with a caption that said, ‘How does it look?’

In all honesty, you knew this was a shot in the dark since Izana barely checked his phone throughout the day due to endless meetings regarding illegal trades and other similar activities of such—you knew these meetings were always long and tedious, and it made sense because of how risky it was, thus, every single thing had to be looked into.

Izana sat on one end of the table as he listened to Kakucho talking on the other end; the executives were currently discussing how to bring Kisaki back to Japan without having to raise any suspicion. Yes, there a decoy body was used to pass him off as ‘deceased’ in police reports but one could never be too cautious. His body jolted against the seat as he heard his phone ping loudly, and suddenly all eyes were on him.

Shit. He had forgotten to turn off his phone.

Everyone in the room fell silent, even Kakucho had stopped talking, all eyes were on their boss. He took his phone out of his pocket and waved a hand, dismissing it and told the younger man to proceed; just as he was about to turn it off, Izana saw your name attached to the notification. He was surprised to say the least, you were the last person he expected to get a text from.

With his phone on his hand, he rested his arm on his abdomen, mindlessly clicking the notification. It took a few seconds for the picture to load but when it did, he almost choked on his saliva.

He quickly shoved his phone under the table to keep any prying eyes away, not that there were any, no one dared to look his way unless he was speaking. Izana’s eyes traced your whole body, the way it perfectly fit the purple lingerie set, fuck, he could feel himself getting hard. At this point, he didn’t even care about the ways they could bring Kisaki back to the country, fuck that, he wanted you.

Izana uncomfortably squirmed in his seat, tugging at his pants as his semi-hard cock was now rubbing against the material. His cheeks warmed and ears burned with embarrassment as he stared at the picture you sent him, you menace, you knew exactly what you were doing to him. And purple? God, you’re the death of him. He quickly typed a reply and stood up from his seat, once again gaining everyone’s attention, no one dared to question him as he spoke the next few words,

“I’ll be heading home early. Kakucho, you’re in charge.” With that, he swiftly slipped out of the room to head over to you.

‘Wait for me, sweetheart. You better be prepared, I won’t go easy on you.’

Your heart skipped a beat at his quick reply, lips parting in shock as your boyfriend replied rather quickly. You weren’t going to lie, the sentence he sent put a small smile on your face, all the unwanted feelings from last night suddenly disappeared. Izana might be the running the most feared gang in the country but under all that, he was just a man who still had needs that only you could fulfil.

Almost ten minutes had passed after you heard the door open and shut, you could hear the hurried clacking of his dress shoes as he made his way towards your shared bedroom. Izana appeared at the door, bending down to take his shoes off, his cock was evidently straining against his slacks, paired with a lustful expression—orchid eyes, tracing every part of your almost naked body.

Izana tossed his shoes aside which made a loud thud against the wooden floor as he stalked his way towards you; he held your gaze from where you sat on the bed, taking slow strides as if to drink in the entirety of you. You let out a shaky breath as you stared at his amethyst eyes, feeling yourself getting wet down there despite Izana not even laying a single digit on you.

Tilting your head to the side, you raised a brow and gave him a sly smile, “Hm? I thought you were busy, Izana?” He let out a playful scoff, standing between your legs as he pried your knees apart with his own; his amethyst eyes looked down at you, platinum strands framing his temple and his long earrings swaying ever so slightly at the movement—god, you always loved the soft sound it made as it dangled from his ears.

“That’s ‘babe’ to you. Get on all fours, right now. Don’t make me repeat myself.” There’s that tone that did unexplainable things to you; the voice he always used to command his underlings, you always found yourself biting your lip when he used it on you. Without hesitating, you moved yourself further up the king-sized bed and swiftly got into the said position, nails digging into the soft mattress as you anticipated your boyfriend’s next move.

Your arms almost gave out on you as Izana wasted no time and stuck his finger against your damp panties, adding pressure to your clit and rubbing tight circles on it through the lacy fabric. “Mhm! Izana!” Your head bowed in pleasure, eyes closing shut as his digits increased its pace. You haven’t felt this familiar pleasure in so long, so it made sense how reactive you were under his touches that you’ve been craving for.

He let out a low chuckle from behind, one hand massaging your ass as the other worked on your clit, making you even wetter. “So wet for me, huh? Such a naughty girl.. sending me daring pictures while I’m in a meeting. What if my men saw that, hm?” His tone  dripped with honey, causing goosebumps to form on your skin as his voice filled your ears. Your hands balled into fists against the mattress, clamping at the sheets as he swiftly pushed the lacy fabric aside and inserted two digits into your sopping wet cunt which earned a loud whine from you.

Your back arched in pleasure as Izana slowly thrusted two fingers in and out, savouring the way your warm and wet cunt invited his digits inside, deliciously sucking him back in as it made loud squelching noises.

You let out a small whimper, opening your eyes as Izana swiftly removed his digits from your cunt before sucking his fingers clean. You craned your neck to look back at him, the soft sound of fabric rustling and his belt hitting the wooden floor as he undressed himself. He stood at the end of the bed, his whole body exposed. You bit your lip at the sight of him; Izana stood at the end of the bed while he slowly fisted his cock, head thrown back to expose his neck. He was truly beautiful. The way his tan skin glowed from the golden sunshine of the afternoon sun, lips parted in pleasure as soft pants escaped, causing his chest to heave up and down.

He got back on the bed, knees sinking on the mattress while he made his way to your eager body. Izana gave your ass a harsh slap, earning a yelp from you before practically tearing the skimpy fabric—the sound of the material ripping apart filled the room, your wet cunt now fully exposed for him. Izana’s hands made their way to your outer thighs, pushing your legs together so that your knees were touching.

He positioned his body over your own, exposed chest pressed against your back and legs parted—knees resting just beside your own. You smiled at the small peck he placed on your shoulder blade but it faded as quickly as it formed as he pushed his tip into your wet cunt. Your lips parted, forming an ‘o’ shape and your nails dug into the mattress as Izana pushed further into you, stretching your walls. “Ngh! Fuck! I missed this..” Your boyfriend rested his forehead on your nape, letting out hot pants against your skin as he bottomed out.

He whined at the feeling of your tight walls clenching around his cock, a shudder running down his spine. “Babe.. please move..” You rocked your hips back, whining at the lack of movement from the man above you. “Shit, baby. You’re so fuckin’ tight f’me.. Need a moment..” He groaned before biting down at your shoulder as your hips desperately rutted back against him.

Izana stayed still for a few seconds, savouring the way your hot walls felt around him. It suddenly made him realise how much he’s missed your tight pussy. Fuck, he had been abandoning his sweet girl. Now that he’s here with you, he’s determined to make up the amount of times he’s neglected you and your needs.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as Izana finally started moving his hips; he didn’t bother setting a slow pace to start with, and skipped right to how you wanted it. Hard and fast. Your body jolted forward with every slap of his hips against your ass, lips parted as your moans increased in volume in pitch. It didn’t take too long for you to turn into a moaning mess as it’s been a while since Izana fucked you like this. 

Tears were quick to form at how fast his hips were moving. You could feel every inch of him, the pleasure being more intense for the both of you as your legs were glued together. Izana rested his forehead against your shoulder blade, hanafuda earrings dancing against the skin of your back with every thrust of his hips—you would’ve laughed at the feeling of his earrings lightly tickling your skin if it wasn’t for his dick constantly hitting that delicious spot inside you, making your legs tremble.

“Ngh—shit! D’ya think I’d still fuck you this good if I was seeing someone else—haah!” Izana groaned against your skin, one hand coming up to massage your breast through the lacy fabric, roughly squeezing at the flesh. You couldn’t even form any coherent sentences at this point; your lips were parted only to let out loud whines and moans. “I asked you a question—mhm!” His hand travelled up your chest and to your throat, fingers gently wrapping around the base of your neck.

You swallowed thickly, wracking your fogged brain to try and think of a response. Shit, why was it so hard? No words appeared in your hazy mind. “Mmph! Ngh—ah! N-no!” Izana breathlessly chuckled, “That’s right.. I only have eyes for you, baby. Now, be a good girl and take all that I’m about to give you..” You didn’t know it was possible for Izana to move his hips harder against you until he did, heavy balls slapping against your clit, causing your arms to give out, chest landing on the soft mattress beneath you.

Izana’s hips didn’t falter, not one bit. His chest was still pressed against your back, this time, the position drove his cock to hit deeper into you—abusing your g-spot over and over again. It didn’t take long for that familiar pressure in your abdomen to slowly surface, making itself known as pleasure engulfed your whole body, “Ah! ‘Zana—ngh! I-i’m close!” Your moans were muffled against the sheets.

“Go on, baby… Fuck! Cream around the cock that you’ve been begging for.” Izana trailed open-mouthed kisses along the side of your neck. Your entire body stiffened as the knot inside you finally snapped, an earth-shattering orgasm washing over the entirety of your figure. Your hands fisted the mattress as you came around Izana’s cock, lips parted but no sound came out.

He whispered sweet praises into your ear, riding your orgasm by fucking into your tight walls despite how hard it was to move.

A fresh set of tears wet the sheets beneath you as Izana’s hips didn’t stop moving. Your toes curled at the overstimulation, placing a hand against his abdomen to slow down, only to be pinned down at the mattress by your boyfriend. “Ah, ah.. you’re going to be a good girl and take all of it. Need to remind you that I’m all yours and no one else’s, hm?” Izana gritted his teeth at the way your walls gripped him even tighter, hips slightly faltering.

Your back arched at the immense pleasure, loud moans muffled by the mattress. It didn’t take long for you to reach another orgasm. This time, your whole body trembled as you came. Your vision was painted with stars, knuckles turning white with the way you held onto the sheets for your dear life. “That’s it, sweetheart.. Fuck! Been neglecting this pretty pussy, huh?” He praised you, his saccharine tone filling your ringing ears.

A string of profanities slipped past your lips, crying out your boyfriend’s name in pleasure. You whined as Izana slipped his cock out, your dripping cunt clenching around nothing—god, you already missed him inside you. He was quick to pry your legs open and stick his face into your sopping wet folds, tongue darting out to lick at your juices.

You bit your bottom lip. Hard. You swore it might draw blood soon, but you didn’t care. You whined at the feeling of Izana’s tongue alternating between exploring inside you and lapping at your folds, lips sealed around your cunt as he sucked you like his life depended on it. All while eating you out, one hand fisted his wet cock, earning a moan from him which sent vibrations to your cunt.

His other hand firmly gripped your hip to keep you in place as you attempted to run away from his mouth.

After lapping up all your cum, Izana lifted his torso so that he kneeled behind your body. He threw his head back as he continued to swiftly stroke his cock, loud moans laced with profanities slipping past his lips. It didn’t take long for him to reach his orgasm, every muscle in his body becoming taut, and his hips bucking up into his fist as ropes of thick cum spurted all over your back.

You groaned at the feeling of his hot semen making contact against your skin; you blindly reached a hand behind you and massaged his balls, earning a high pitched whine from him as he milked his cock to every last drop.

Izana panted above you, staring at your cum-painted back. It was truly a sight to see, a pretty one at that. “Fuck, I love you so much, you know? I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else, sweetheart. I’m all yours.”

The two of you held each other as you layed in bed, apologising for the events that happened last night. You both admitted your wrong doings and vowed to talk about issues that need to be addressed in the relationship.

You were truly grateful to have a lover like Izana, because with him, rest assured that the spark of love will never disappear. He made sure of that.