#iwantmore

Give me about 10 Fendi bags filled with pills; I want to sleep forever under your bed.

Wrapped in satin, placed on polyester blankets filled with the finest fake down feathers, surrounded by burning cardboard.

Swipe left to find my final message on your nightstand.

Still like a desert, I lie under your bed frame.

I smell your perfume.

I always hated the disgusting smell of citrus antifreeze agent

Alcohol just makes me nauseous.

Please squish me.

My vision is blurred.

Please hit me,

I want to feel real,

not on your feed.

I want more.

10,000 euros, 10.000.000yen

All the foreign currencies

And gold and platinum

I want warmth

All the Moncler jackets you can get

I want to be seen, witness me

Please watch me while I walk foggy streets at 4 a.m.

I look up and see RGB lights

Why were you awake while I sleep

Why are you watching me

Why do you belittle me

I did not choose you to be my custodian

Am I more than an Excel spreadsheet to you?

When I crawl into the light:

kick me with your Gore-Tex-lined boot, beat me with your rubber baton while I can’t even scratch your Kevlar vest

You see me through hardened plastic, through screens or on signed papers

Why don’t you care?

You don’t even hate me

That’s why we hate you

I hate that you know everything

I hate you from the fucked-up hairline down to the steel-toe footwear

You know everything

Would you please package it for me?

Pick me up, I’m on sale!

I want to be vacuum sealed,

just for you to forget me.

I will gladly rot inside my plastic wrap.

Throw me away or keep me in your purse, if you´d like a refund.

 I´ll stay inside, 

until the leather walls rub away my print.

You don’t even know what you bought.

Don’t forget my cushioning if you ship me away:

If you just throw me into a shoebox, I will break.

I don’t need maintenance.

I feel so down, so sad, so disappointed of myself.

I'm almost 30 and I haven't done anything with my life. My life is so boring and useless.

I'm not as mean as I could be...