So when watching a show Iāve become conscious of the way the main character is supposed to be the one you like the most and unconsciously side with, so Iāve taken to consciously go through the characters to decide if I like this person because they are portrayed as the main character or if I just like them.
But I just rewatched The Wilds and was expecting Leah as my favorite to change as I got to take more time to appreciate the others. And yeah, I had that time, but it just helped to cement that the reason I like Leah so much is because she is so representative of me when I was a teenager- screaming and screaming and screaming for people to believe her, for someone to help her, for no reason at all just because she canāt and she feels. Like thatās not who I am anymore, all that feeling and anger and being so consumed by something melted away into a worse kind of thing, an apathy from that part of me that I wish I could return to, that I donāt remember anymore, thatās nostalgic and extra and belonged to someone else.
She was relatable to me for something I donāt even relate to anymore.
And damn if thatās not a gut punch.
And damnit even more that I canāt see her get her happy ending, that an embodiment of my teenage self will just be stranded on an island in my head forever.
