#itsallpersonal

I was just about to send a long sad text to C when the universe intervened and instead I asked, “Hey, what happened to the deposit?” 

You see, I really meant to say, “Hey, so you broke my heart and I tried being compassionate and understanding, cuz it’s tricky and part of me loves you (as a friend, former lover, best friend, best former lover) and appreciates all you meant to me, but you fucked up and you’re the worst so, give me my half of the deposit and I’ll pretend the last three years never happened.” There is no concise way to unravel all my feelings, so you can find them here. Anonymously. For now anyway. If you’re interested. 

My life has been a series of short, confusing letters to the Universe. I want this, I want to be that, and then when I think I’m finally getting what I want, I come to realize it’s a fucking lesson. For the last decade, I feel like I’ve been kicking and screaming into adulthood. For socially conscious folks, people of color, the young and hopeful, the organizers of the movement, it’s one heartbreak after another. Can’t we at least get this “love thing” right? Self-love, love for another, all types of love? Anyway, this is best intro I could muster.