#itachi asks

I don't think Itachi's personality is capable of much mischief, but he'd definitely develop a sense of humour! There's no way anyone who has to deal with child Naruto can keep a stick up their ass forever XD I really see Naruto as a kind of therapy dog/emotional support animal for Itachi. He HAS to loosen up. He HAS to get into situations that might shake his poker face. He HAS to accept the risk of embarrassing moments.

Highly scientific diagrams of that AU incoming:

Story time, I used to only have Akitas with occasional exceptions, but basically I used to like my dogs "seen, not heard" and "capable of functioning on their own". A large cat basically. Then I got 2 Golden Retrievers. Mischief 24/7, opening doors, eating chicks, conspiring to create diversions while the other raids the kitchen, and just all around shenanigans. They were exhausting, but we never laughed this much before! If these dogs can't make you laugh, you genuinely need help. Long story short, Naruto is a Golden Retriever.

But Itachi said to have become the anbu captain at 13, it was mentioned by Kakashi im pretty sure when Itachi and Kisame came to capture Naruto.

Therefor Itachi was around late 13 or early 14 when the massacre was committed, he left Konoha after to join the Akastuki as a spy.

So 13/14 + the 11 years that was confirmed Itachi was in the organization for, that’s 24/25 years.

Is Itachi actually 24/25 years old and not 21 as “official sources” claim?

That would make him around 19/20 when he first came to “capture Naruto” and die around 24/25

I feel changing the “11 years” would be much more complicated than changing Itachis age, Sasuke was 6/7 around the time the clan died, so fast forward, he’s 17 when Itachi is “21”…how did Sasuke age around 11 years and Itachi only 7?

Idk if you already thought of this but it’s just a curiosity I’ve always had, correct me if I’m wrong at all

Glad you asked! Piecing timelines together is a thing I need for closure LOL so I already did it for the brothers!

I don't remember where, but it was said (not by an official source) that the "10 years since Orochimaru left Akatsuki" statement was a continuity error and should be disregarded. Because I could be wrong, but I vaguely remember that this statement was (also) made in the anime when Itachi was only 17/18 (after the chunin exams) and it would make absolutely 0 sense.

As for the massacre, the anime and manga make him 13 at the time. His official age of promotion was only mentioned that one time by Kakashi.

I don't know if you consider the Itachi Shinden novels canon, but personally I like to do so because they don't contradict any manga events, other than where Itachi's hands were when Shisui died... and add a lot of logical context. If we go by the novels, Kakashi only said Itachi was 13 because Hiruzen and Danzo aged him up on paper so as to not stir the pot too much by promoting someone at an age where others barely finish the academy. Itachi was actually 12 at the time of the massacre. It wouldn't be "wrong" for any character to say he was 13 as everyone was fed (and thoughtlessly believed??) the same lies about that poor kid. In his first detailed flashback in part 1 of the anime (on his way to the inn), Sasuke remembers how he was the same age Itachi was when he graduated, after auntie Uruchi (the chubby lady) said he was 7. That was the day of the massacre. It would also make the most sense. Canonically and in the anime, Itachi is 5 years older than Sasuke, and 7 + 5 = 12. In Itachi's first anime appearance, Sasuke just had his 13th birthday and Itachi should just have turned 18 the month before. This would make sense, too, as Sasuke is 16 when Itachi dies at 21 (Itachi's birthday is in June, Sasuke's in July).

Itachi's physical development isn't portrayed proportionately to his age or even true-to-data, which adds to the confusion. From the very beginning, Sasuke's flashbacks of 11-12-year-old Itachi show him much bigger than the Rookie 9. And he gets MUCH bigger within just 1 year. 11: 148 cm. 12 (officially 13 thanks to Danzo: 175 cm. LOL did Fugaku put something in his food to make him bigger faster because he also suddenly looks much more masculine??

But then, you put ANY adult in the room with him, and he suddenly shrinks. Danzo is officially shorter at 170 cm, but always shown taller, while Itachi wears thicker soles (Danzo wears slippers mostly).

Danzo has to bend to make eye contact with the squirt:

This is more than 6 cm difference! (175 & 181)

This was around the time of the massacre judging by Sasuke's size. Ummm... Wasn't Itachi officially as tall as Fugaku (175) here...

And this is just before the massacre, after Itachi got tired of trying:

He was supposed to be 6 cm taller than Kurenai (169 cm vs 175 cm), but he's drawn shorter than her!

And to make it all extra sad, I looked up what Itachi would look like in an accurate live action adaptation of the massacre, because Kishimoto draws him looking way older so the "groomed and exploited child soldier" part is more palatable:

(found on Pinterest)

For comparison, 12-year-old Itachi in the anime (average for Japanese boys that age is 153 cm, by the way, not 175 which is above average for ADULTS):

Naruto was said to be depicted as smol and scrawny on purpose, but while anime styles usually make a character look younger than their real life counterpart, Naruto was probably closest to that?

I was gonna go on a tangent about how I don't care about the founders and don't see the appeal in Itachi x Izuna, when I remembered Izumi existed. Because that poor girl really just got thrown in there for 5 minutes for no other purpose than add to Itachi's guilt because making Shisui his (implicit) lover, someone Itachi was canonically obsessed with, would be too gay for shonen.

I mean they could have been cute together. Their interaction in the anime was adorable, though they were all bland fan service. But in the novels, she was never his priority and he hurt her feelings a lot. And then, he murdered her, or Obito did, depending which version to go with, but Itachi still made it happen. I'm sure Itachi cared about her, maybe even did love her and didn't just let her see HER dream, but I didn't get a very "shippable vibe" from them. There was no chemistry and he was a terrible boyfriend 😂

I also find Izumi's personality infinitely boring. She's a good girl, but... All she does is get mad or sad about Itachi. Her strongest moment, for me, was when she made Itachi's father cry for him.

Sometimes, I do explore this ship but the only interesting part for me is still Itachi murdering her and having to live with that. And I can't see him marching into Shisui's house like that and do that to him with as little hesitation. The whole "bros before hoes" in Naruto is disgusting, but when we try to put Shisui in Izumi's place and think honestly about how Itachi would have dealt with THAT, that's when it really gets somber.