#it's fun

having an unbelievably delicious and rich experience poking at writing about a severely romance repulsed aromantic character who enjoys sex deciding to be sexually intimate with a friend for reasons related to feelings of (platonic) affection for that friend. and how utterly terrifying and vulnerable and risky that feels, especially bc of the way that interest in and enjoyment of sex has been used as a way to try to force 'but don't you get what's so important about love.' where this is about love. but not that kind of love. and it feels like... how do you do this without admitting everyone was right. (which isn't what this is at all. it's different. but who could possibly believe or accept that?) so it's scary, and threatening to want. but still worth it.