#it'd

I always feel a little weird seeing posts about things like autism and such on my dash. Because I know I have autism, but it’s not nearly so noticeable as most other people who reblog those kinds of posts and share stories. Like, I’d be considered having Aspergers, which is ‘mild’ autism, mostly affecting my social skills. So I’m ‘high functioning’ enough that no one really considers it.

(Though I have been having worse problems as far as speech is concerned. I already have trouble thinking/making sure everything is worded correctly/forming logical points in arguments, but recently I’ve been losing my words altogether. Been having to pause and try to visualize what I’m trying to describe, and most of the time the word still doesn’t come to me. Happened a few times in the past two months and it’s starting to worry me a little.)

And it’s the same right now, I there’s a post about PCOS on my dash. With a lot of people describing how painful and life-threatening it can be. And I’m just. Over here thinking about how my experience hasn’t been at all bad from what I can remember. And that I have been diagnosed with, my birth control pills are literally right next to me. But while my excess testosterone has been very apparent since forever, and irregularity was definitely a thing, pain... wasn’t. Unless I was entirely used to it, the only thing I recall being an issue was the imbalanced hormones. Which is why it feel weird reading it, because I see a post about PCOS and think ‘oh, I have that’, and then can’t entirely relate to people who also have it, because mine feels like a ‘mild’ case. I didn’t get diagnosed because of pain or bad issues, I was diagnosed because my mom was concerned when I said I hadn’t had a period in half a year, and that it had been a trend for a few years that my cycle would kinda just. Stop. During the fall/winter months. And the only reason I was recommended to be on pills was because it’s a concern when something that’s supposed to shed every month stays for a long period of time, could lead to problems if it stuck around, so better to get daily pills to have a regular cycle again. Never been much of a real concern, though it probably helps that I’m asexual and never create any actual potential problems down there.

idk, it’s not at all to a point where I think I don’t have certain mental/physical health problems. Because I do, there are way too many signs of that and I’m not going to pretend they don’t exist. But it’s just strange when I can only half identify with people who have far worse experiences with the same things.

I believe in him. But the fact that we'd be asking another god for help...

I hope she believes in us too.

he...