#isness

On my path towards self mastery almost all of the pivotal, disruptive, and hard moments were to be faced on my own. Which does not mean that I ever was without loving connections ready and capable of holding space or being with me. No, it was an internal knowing that made it clear to me that to meet this moment in the way befitting it necessitated me to stand alone. 

Standing alone in the face of a challenge or adversarial energy necessitates me to let go of the conditioned ideas of weakness, not-enoughness, and the fear at their core. It either calls on me to trust my knowing or past experiences more than the quivering voices or the embedded sensations in this body. 

These are moments I have to live from vision, or spirit, to help the physical and emotional transcend the artifice of limitation they have been bound to. 

Every moment of courage, of feeling fears and resistances and 'doing it anyway', are moments that help unlearn more fundamental distortions held in the mind-body system that consistently belie reality in favor of cultural narratives and fears. This is why I speak of liberation. We need liberation from these ties that would bind us to endless repetitions of human history and suffering.

When I use the term 'self mastery' I envision a learning and knowing of the small egoic and identified self as well as a gentle but firm re-education at the hands of the Self that is beyond duality, time, and space. All beings experience varying levels of self mastery depending on their experiences and the trajectory of their Soul path. Not all of us are willing to keep moving towards suffering, face the truths behind our wounds, and embrace a greater reality and consciousness beyond the limited niche of human making.

This path will inevitably ask us to not only endure but also precipitate willingly losses upon losses of  people, places, beliefs, memories, behaviors, habits, though-patterns. It necessitates us to make the ultimate sacrifice, to the ego, by letting go of our identification with our personality, personal stories, body, and other ideas about self. Which goes way further than a mere ego-death, which denotes a letting go of selfishness or self-centered perception. 

Releasing all identifications comes with the understanding of the illusions this world we perceive, and lives we live, are woven from and of touching on the true nature of our being. 

Beingness that is found at the core of our experience and perceptions is genderless, formless, unlimited in its expressions, and not bound by time and space. It is not caught up in the dramas of maya with their relentless repetition of pain, suffering, harm, or seeking of pleasure to escape them. 

Beingness is observant yet not judging. For what is there to be judged when all is of the One? It reposes in a loving equanimity as the play of consciousness in duality, form, and forgetting unfolds within it.

The lives and identities we believe to have crafted, the attributes we claim or reject, they all are mere shadows dancing within the grand movements of consciousness. 

Consciousness keeps creating and destroying along its path of evolutions and self exploration as Beingness witnesses it all.

From time to time I need to remind my human to release her grip on identifications in order to dance with more ease and grace along the play of consciousness. It is like reminding the actor to follow the lead of the director and not get lost in self importance and thereby miss out on being part of a great play. 

To have the knowing and tools to move between human perception and Beingness, to learn to use the

greater picture view of Beingness in service of a more harmonious resonance with the frequencies playing out all around is a hard earned gift of this path. A gift only few will appreciate or understand as to many others any actions or non-actions arising from this knowing look weird or crazy.

Yet looking at life from a vantage point that suffuses human perceptions with greater perspectives of consciousness and Beingness allows for a perception of life which reveals a 'hidden' humor and playfulness in the unfolding of existence. Allowing me to look at what seems hard or impossible, from a strictly human perspective, as a fun challenge to be tinkered with and mastered. 

There is unspeakable power and freedom in understanding that nothing can be lost nor gained, not in death nor in incredible wealth or success. 

This knowing liberates me to explore possibilities in more subtle and novel ways, to choose play in 'serious' moments and thereby align and dance with the slip-stream of consciousness that is manifesting what we call life experience. 

This is what this cluster of consciousness is here for: to play, explore, create, deconstruct, rebuild, dance, and most of all BE with all of existence. I am not here to play it small and along old scripts, I have come to question and rewrite what is mine to change, I have come to render all scripts obsolete as I walk a new path in the void, leaving stardust in my steps for others to be inspired or intrigued by.

In every moment I repose in BEing and open to what is witnessed I am speechless at the infinite ways life is being lived in what only seems to be a consensus reality. How thin the veneer of consensus is, how magnificently diverse and wondrous the perceptions and storylines chosen are. How little it would take to release suffering and live a freer and more magical life. And how vehemently identities, identifications, and fears are fighting any attempt at liberation. 

How beloved the jailors are to the prisoners while the liberators seem silly, dangerous, or any other form of objectionable. 

To see with clarity the game at play tempts the human in me to intervene whenever there are threads of attachment in need of releasing. To see it also awakens a desire to share the wonderment and contemplation of it all with others. To express the mix of awe and compassion that arise in observing humans navigate life in their individually chosen way. Being in wonderment of the multidimensional shimmer of existence.

And it challenges the human to release the desire to change what is witnessed, to accept reality as it is, to honor the choices of others even and especially when they are self-destructive and persistent, to trust the higher wisdom at play in the long game of consciousness evolution. It takes constant reminders of the fact that we are engaging with Maya and her illusions, while absolute reality knows no loss, harm, or pain as all is One and in fluid harmony. Reminders to step back, check herself, and to free herself from identification with dualistic perceptions and to be mindful of the 'costs' of such entrapment.

But most deliciously Beingness gives the body-mind extended experiences of peace, equanimity, and bliss which gently wash away attachments to distorted perceptions and fears. Which in turn makes the challenging and hard things far easier and deepens trust in Self, the dimensional gateway to Beingness and Oneness.

What I live for...