#is next

I really hope that I didn't actually loose it, the last time I lost a book, my mental health got really bad and I really don't want to have that right now

But the last time I lost that book was like back before I was obsessed with gunshow, there was alot of smg34 art in there

Anyways since I don't have my book so I can't show those comics I promised yesterday

Yall can have this

Nothing left to breathe au Karen

Separates

i would customize miis with face paint but 1 i have 0 skill and 2 i hate how u can see the 2d paint when they turn to the sides 😭

also are his eyes green i forgot also i gave him that fit cus i had nothing else but i lowk think it’s kinda cute

Nikolai is all flamboyance and theatrics. A magician, a clown, a dramatist of the grotesque, he twirls, teases, and toys with his enemies—and his allies, like they’re part of some deranged circus. But none of it is for fun. Not really, Nikolai isn’t joy. He’s freedom weaponized. And his laughter is just the sound of someone screaming so beautifully, so desperately, they forgot how to stop.

1. Psychopathy vs. Performance

Nikolai walks the line between insanity and performance art. He’s not simply mad—he’s performing madness with surgical intent. Behind the smiles, his actions show,

• A disregard for human life

• A tendency to create emotional whiplash in others— compassion in one moment, cruelty in the next.

• A need to destroy control structures, including moral ones, which suggests trauma rather than aimless sadism.

• He's unpredictable, not because he lacks reason, but because his logic belongs to another world entirely.

2. Self delusion vs. Self awareness

He insists he wants "freedom"—from rules, morality, even pain. But everything he does contradicts that,

He suffers when friends die (emotional attachment)

He kills to feel unbound—but mourns it afterward

He is a man desperately trying to amputate his own soul—and failing.

3rd of all, the philosophy of Freedom,

Nikolai worships freedom the way a zealot worships a distant god, screaming up to the sky, tearing apart everything around him in hopes of ascending.

But his idea of freedom is terrifying, it consist of the following,

• Freedom from morality

• Freedom from consequence

• Freedom even from self

This radical freedom repeats existentialist themes (like Dostoevsky or Camus, the actual authors.), but taken to extremes. To Nikolai, freedom isn't the right to just live— it's the right to detach entirely from meaning, to transcend the burden of empathy, purpose, and guilt.

He wants to kill the part of him that feels—and he masks this with jokes and tricks, because crying would be too honest.

Lastly, Symbolism.

Last time I contributed the mythology of rats to fyodor, now I will use jesters, for, of course, Nikolai!

He dresses like a jester; a historical figure both mocked and feared. The jester could say anything, even to a king, because truth is safest when it’s disguised as comedy. Nikolai wears that role to mock the world—but also to shield himself from it.

The White Mask (facial appearance) represents,

Purity, emptiness, performance. It’s a lie he wants to believe in. That he’s nothing. That he’s free. But he’s not.

Rope and Scissors,

His desire to “cut the rope” is a metaphor for severing all bonds: moral, emotional, spiritual. But in truth?

The more he cuts, the more tangled he becomes.

In the end, overall,

Nikolai is not a villain. He is a man trying to annihilate the cage he sees in every breath, every rule, every feeling—and in doing so, he becomes something worse than evil,

A hollow man with a smile carved into his skin,

dancing for no one,

bleeding behind the curtain.

guess who finally got them to lvl 100!!!!!! Thissss guyyyyy!

anywho- photos I took below cut so I could draw them later!