#irlyandere

I just want to love

We were never destiny. don't insult me with something so innocent. I rewired myself for you. i cracked my ribs open like a locked door and called it devotion. i let your name spill from my mouth until it tasted like wine, like blood, like something so pure and holy gone rotten. every soft thing in me was stripped for parts. every good instinct was led to slaughter. people talk about soulmates as if love arrives clean. ours came starving. i swallowed your absence until it settled in my stomach, teeth first. i chewed through sleep, through reason, through the small animal voice inside my head begging me to stop. i wore obsession down to the bone and still found marrow left to suck from it. i loved you deliberately. with both hands around the throat of my better judgment. with the kind of faith that drives saints into deserts and madmen into oceans. i stitched omens from scraps. i dragged meaning from coincidence by its hair. i looked at the wreckage of my own mind and mistook it for a cathedral. and somewhere along the way, i began to disappear. piece by piece. a bite here. a bite there. until all that remained was a creature pacing circles in the dark, with blood stained walls, whispering your name like a prayer and a threat at the same time still hungry. still convinced that if i consumed enough of myself, there would finally be enough of me for you.