#irina

Irina hasn't seen her sisters in two months.

No. That's not right. It's been longer since she's seen Katia. Katia has been gone for almost eight months. She hasn't seen Anya in two months and she's better off without Anya anyway.

Today, her job is to unpack her bags at Bell House. Kivi said she could stay and set her up in one of the bedrooms on the top floor. There are ten bedrooms in this house. Before Irina arrived, only three were full. Kivi and Aracelis share the biggest room. She doesn't understand why anyone would share a room if there were ten available, but when she asked Kivi they muttered something about space economy and crisis readiness and she decided it was better not to ask again. Ashlin and Emery are in the next one over, but Ashlin and Emery are just having regular sex, so that's not weird. Emery's put Sophie up in the third one while she recovers.

Ezekiel.

Right. Ezekiel, now. Irina scolds herself for getting it wrong. You wouldn't want people getting yours wrong, Irina, would you?

She can almost hear him breathing in the next room, but maybe she's imagining things. She wonders if he misses Anya. She knows Anya misses him. The two of them shared a bedroom, too, even though there were enough rooms for them each to have their own.

Ezekiel wasn't family. Not like Anya was. But when he moved in, no one questioned it: the way Anya and Grandma Henrietta looked at him established his belonging. Henrietta ordered him around like she did them, told him exactly what he was with the confidence of knowing she could shape it. Anya took his hand like she was claiming him as hers forever and always. Irina was fourteen, then. One time, she'd asked Anya, like, what's with you and her? She'd regretted it immediately. Anya gave her the most scathing of looks and said, Girl stuff. You wouldn't get it.

Katia didn't say things like that, ever. Katia reached for her and placed a lock of hair behind her ear and said, It's okay, Vin. You're just different. Katia said no one can ever be family like we're family. They don't know what we know. Katia never once called her Irina, but she'd always apologize after and say I'm sorry, I'm getting there, it's just hard for me. She never got there, but maybe she could have, if she'd had more time.

Irina sits down on the bed, letting her bag drop to the floor. Aracelis had explained this room to her. The kids used to sleep in here, she said. Cassie, Adrienne, and Jamie. Before... (and when they said before, Irina knew they meant a time when there were enough people living in this house for three people to have to share)

She knows who Adrienne and Jamie are. Brother and sister. Guardians. They're both dead now. She doesn't know how it happened, but she can guess. One night, her mother came home with a red stain on her shirt. Mommy, Irina had said when she walked in the door, there's sauce on your shirt. You have sauce on your shirt. Her mother always yelled at her for having stains on her clothes, and so Irina wanted to point it out, you're not so different from me! But her mother scowled and said go to your room. You shouldn't be up this late. So Irina went.

Anya went out a little while after that. She heard them talking through the walls. Katia told her not to listen in to Anya and the parents like that. Especially after Anya started coming home with red stains too.

Cassie must have been their sister, Irina thought, still sitting on the bed. I wonder which one slept here. She imagined that Cassie was the youngest. She would lean over the beds and ask Adrienne and Jamie to explain things to her, and maybe they'd even tell her. And then she would go to sleep and Adrienne and Jamie would whisper to each other, keeping their voices low so the words wouldn't even filter through Cassie's dreams. To protect her. To lock her out.

Cassie is still alive somewhere. Ashlin smiled when Aracelis mentioned her: they must know her. Anya is somewhere, looking for Ezekiel, maybe even looking for her. Calling out, has anyone seen my little brother? Has anyone seen Vincent anywhere?

Irina hasn't. Not in a very long time.

Maybe Katia has.

Ezekiel is calling for help in the next room over. Irina's legs straighten as she pops up out of the bed. She can hear Emery's footsteps on the stairs as they run to him. She wants to follow him in, just to ask, Do you remember them? Anya? Katia? Vincent?