#inuyashaxkagome

It was Kagome’s damn fault for introducing the salty futuristic bastards in the first place. She should’ve known better than to give him a taste of the finer things in life. Things that were quite literally impossible to get without her.

But, but this particular stew smelled close or, at least, close enough. There weren’t noodles, sure, but beggars couldn’t be choosers and it was the broth that really stole the show anyway. As the stew had simmered, Inuyasha’s expectations had reached dangerously high levels. Now the moment arrived. God, if Kagome really had managed to recreate it, they could put that broth in everything.

Hesitant but hopeful, he took a tentative sip.

He barely repressed his gag. Despite the scent being on point, the flavor and consistency was not. The piss poor stew was overly salty, the spices were unbalanced and dear god, there just weren’t enough insults in the world to describe the after taste. Even ass wasn’t good enough. Something, somewhere had gone horribly, horribly wrong. Despite the nauseating concoction making him want to puke, Inuyasha looked up at Kagome’s eager face and couldn't bring himself to dampen her enthusiasm. Against his better judgment, he took another sip and immediately regretted it but nothing was off the table when it came to protecting Kagome in every possible way so, with god as his witness, he was going to finish this before coming up with some excuse and leaving to go puke it up in the woods.

“Do you not like it?” Kagome asked worried as she wrung her hands, “I know there aren’t noodles but I thought the smell…”

“Nah, s’good woman. Quit your worrying,” he mumbled hoarsely before steeling himself and knocking back the whole bowl to get it over with.

That…oh boy…that was a mistake.

“Think…” a bit of vomit filled his mouth that he quickly swallowed down, “Think somethin’ in…” a gag he couldn’t repress as a cold sweat broke out. He stumbled towards the door and prayed, “Woods,” the world began to spin, “Stay. Be back.”

“Inuyasha, wait-“

He ran begging for this feeling to pass because his damn woman was too smart for her own good and would definitely get pissed at him despite this being entirely her fault. Three long years waiting for his woman to finally get her pretty face back here only for him and his stupid ass was managing to ruin everything over ramen.

Figures.

The agony building in his stomach hit new levels when he tried to launch. The jolt then rapid ascent nearly had him spewing everywhere.

God, what did she use?!

The landscape around him had melted and his ears were ringing by the time he finally, mercifully made it into the woods. Unable to hold it in any longer, Inuyasha doubled over and vomited violently by a cluster of trees. The harsh taste of the stew mixed with the bitter bile, and he retched again, emptying his stomach. Over and over and over again because the persistent, nauseating taste lingered.

His breathing became ragged and labored between bouts of retching. His normally top notch vision blurred. Each wave of sickness seemed more intense than the last, leaving the hanyou who could toss demons ten times his weight trembling and drained until the convulsions eventually subsided and he stumbled over to a nearby tree to simply collapse.

If he didn’t know better, he would’ve said Kagome had just tried to kill him. He didn’t even have the strength to move further away from the putrid stench that had his stomach churning all over again. Another trickle of vomit bubbled over his lips. His mind screamed at him to black out and free him from this torment.

“That bad, huh?” Kagome’s nervous chuckle came from far too close and bleary golden eyes blinked open to find his wife kneeling in front of him.

Ah shit. So much for keeping how utterly disgusting that thoughtful attempt really was. Dumb woman. Following him. Her fault if she got her feelings hurt.

“What the hell did you put in that?” he mumbled miserably as Kagome gently grabbed his hands and helped him to his feet. She draped one of his arms around her shoulder and together they began the journey back.

“Chicken broth. Um some herbs. Vegetables. Some mushrooms I found and-“

Inuyasha sent her a miserable glare as something clicked. He immediately made a mental note to have Kaede teach Kagome about plants in general not just medicinal herbs because this whole fiasco could’ve been ten times worse.

“What the mushrooms look like?”

“They were just normal white mushrooms,” Kagome clipped defensively and Inuyasha wrinkled his nose.

“Did you eat any of that shit?” he asked - god his voice was so raw.

“Well no, I wanted to-“

“Do not eat that shit until you show me what mushroom you used,” Inuyasha muttered before his stomach decided to convulse again. Another dribble of bile found its way onto his robe before the ground came up to meet him.

By the time he reopened his eyes, Kagome was kneeling there looking guilty as hell. Her hands smoothed out a few wrinkles of her kimono like she was trying to buy time.

“Okay, so, don’t get mad-”

Inuyasha snorted softly as he rolled his sore body into its side and listened to his wife nervously explain that she might’ve accidentally kinda sorta poisoned him because she didn’t know how to identify poisonous mushrooms for what they were. An innocent mistake and thankfully one that didn’t kill her.

“S’fine,” Inuyasha mumbled as he grabbed her hand and led it to his ear. He hummed happily when she gave it a hesitant stroke, “Didn’t kill me.”

Kagome let out a shuddering breath.

“Could have. Apparently I’m not allowed to help with foraging anymore. Officially banned,” she offered with a weary laugh.

“I’ll talk with ‘em. How else you supposed to learn?” he offered hoarsely, “Dumbasses should’ve taught you. Not your fault you didn’t know.”

“I’d prefer you try to teach me,” Kagome countered shakily, “I’ve never been on the receiving end of Sango’s anger before. She raked me over the coals before dumping out everything we gathered this morning and storming off.”

Inuyasha’s lips twitched upwards at the visual.

“Yeah, I can do that. Learned the hard way what you can eat and what you can’t. Not the first time a mushroom took me down,” he snickered tiredly. Kagome’s fingers lightly traced his jaw.

“My poor baby,” she hummed sadly.

“Yeah, yours,” he agreed with an affectionate yet exhausted smirk before an echo of nausea had his expression falling. He groaned and closed his eyes. A moment later a damp cloth was pressed against his neck.

“You’re going to spoil me,” he muttered miserably, “Make me weak. Taking care of me like this.”

He shifted and added before Kagome could protest, “S’the best though. Getting spoiled. Don’t mind.”

He could hear Kagome’s smile in her voice as she carded her fingers through his hair.