#inuyashaxkagome

Miroku took a deep breath. “Do you want my advice?”

“No,” he answered reflexively, before giving it more serious thought. Inuyasha sat forward and shrugged. “Uh… yeah.”

Miroku tossed his dark hair out of his eyes while fighting to suppress the smug smile curling at the corner of his mouth. Inuyasha’s stomach soured in an instant; maybe this was a mistake.

“Look, you arrogant prick, are you gonna be helpful or not?” he slumped back into his chair.

Miroku chuckled. “Take it slow. That’s my advice. It’ll take a while to rebuild things between you.”

“Keh, tell me something I don’t know.”

“Okay.” His friend sat a little straighter. “Kagome asks Sango about you all the time.”

Inuyasha’s head whipped towards him. “Really?”

“Yes,” Miroku said with a nod. “They spend quite a bit of time talking about you.”

“That’s a good sign, right?”

“I would think so,” he replied before reaching forward and grabbing his wrist. “Just… don’t get into something you’re not ready for.”

Inuyasha frowned. “I don’t—"

“Believe it or not, I understand your hesitation before,” Miroku explained. “Kagome is your mate. We’re talking about a lifetime commitment here.”

“So?” Inuyasha lifted one shoulder. “You’re doing that with Sango. You’re getting married.”

“Yes, but I’ve had other relationships before Sango,” he said. “How many women have you even been with?”

“What the fuck does that matter?” he sneered.

“Well, you always seemed very experienced from the outside,” Miroku replied. “But now I know that was all a lie.”

“Keh.” Inuyasha crossed his arms over his chest and tried to keep his irritation from boiling over. 

He wasn’t really mad at Miroku; he was mad at himself, at how badly he had fucked things up. This building rage was going to need an outlet and the only target for his anger was the hanyou that looked back at him from the mirror each morning.

“Seriously?” Miroku prodded. “You didn’t sleep with any of those women? Even Kikyou?”

A low growl built up in his chest. “No, not even Kikyou.”

“Wow. Why did she stick around for so long?”

Inuyasha rested his head against the wall behind him, fingers playing at the edge of his jeans pocket. “Mutually beneficial? She didn’t mind that we weren’t intimate so long as I supplied the good drugs. And there were times that I thought she played for the other team, but even relationships like that have their limits, I guess. I haven’t seen or heard from her since the night I OD’d—not that I really want to.”

“So, how was it mutually beneficial?” Miroku asked with a frown.

He shrugged. “She kept other women away for the most part.”

“Including Kagome…”

“Yeah,” he admitted quietly while his shoulders bunched with tension.

“So, how long has it been?”

His brow furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

“Come on, Inuyasha,” Miroku said while rolling his eyes. “How long since you’ve been laid?”

“Christ, man!” He snapped, shoving his hand into his pocket and withdrawing the slim vape pen. “I’m sitting here baring my soul and that’s what you choose to focus on?”

Miroku gave him a moment to take a long pull and calm his already frayed nerves. “Level with me, how long?”

Inuyasha released a whispy cloud of vapor from his lips, rolling the herbaceous flavor around his tongue as his agitation lessened. “Almost six years, I think.”

His friend hissed in sympathy. “Ouch.”

“Got no one to blame but myself.” He snorted and took another hit. “Besides, that isn’t what I miss most about Kagome.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Miroku smile. “What do you miss the most?”

He inhaled from his pen again while staring at the entrance to the restrooms, willing her to reappear. “I miss talking to her. She always made me feel lighter… like I was finally at peace. She quieted my mind and taught me how to just… be. Whatever I felt—happiness, sadness, anger—I could just exist with them, could even manage to see the beauty in them, without fighting against it all the time.” He sighed. “Now, nothing seems beautiful. It all just passes right through me and leaves no imprint.”

Miroku remained quiet long enough for Inuyasha to get self-conscious. He wasn’t normally one to spew out such sappy romanticisms. He used his music to communicate with the world. It was easier to try and put all those feelings to a melody than say them straight to someone’s face. 

He took a cautious glance in Miroku’s direction and grimaced. He was moon-eyed and fluttering his lashes with a dreamy sigh.

“What?” Inuyasha sneered. 

“Sometimes you manage to say the most wonderful things to exactly the wrong person.”

“Huh?”

Miroku rolled his eyes. “I’m not the one you should be telling this to, dickhead. Save the sweet talking for the girls,” he hissed, gesturing over Inuyasha’s shoulder.

He whipped around, mouth going dry as he watched Sango and Kagome approach the table again with puffy red eyes. Jumping to his feet, Inuyasha was struck dumb. All the words that he had just spoken to Miroku swirled around in his head like a letter goulash.

Kagome looked at him with her brows raised in expectation. “Inu?”

“B-beautiful!” he said, loud enough for every head to turn in their direction.

Inuyasha heard Miroku snickering from behind him while Sango stared as if he had just lost several IQ points.

“What?” Kagome asked in a soft tone.

He cleared his throat as his gaze found the white tips of his Chucks. “You-you’re beautiful.”

“T-thank you.”

“I’m sorry that I lost my temper,” he said, working up the nerve to look her in the eye.

Kagome’s baby blues stared back at him with timid vulnerability in their depths. “I appreciate that.”

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” he whispered, reaching out to grab her fidgeting hand. “But you’ve never been worthless, Kagome. Certainly not to me.”

Her eyelashes fluttered rapidly as she released a shaky breath.

“So, what’s the verdict?” Miroku asked, interrupting the intimate moment. 

Every eye turned to him. Sango looked ready to throttle him, but Inuyasha was thankful for the distraction. There were so many things he needed to tell her; most of them too intimate for a public space like this. 

Kagome cleared her throat but didn’t pull away from him. Inuyasha rubbed his thumb along the back of hers. 

“The verdict is that I’ll listen to the music,” she answered before meeting his gaze. “Then I’ll decide.”

“Okay,” he said, leading her back towards her chair. “We can listen to it right now.”

“Ummm…”

“No can do, I’m afraid,” Sango interjected, coming to Kagome’s side and slinging an arm around her shoulders. “We have a previous engagement.” 

“What?! What engagement?”

His friend’s eye narrowed. “Kagome came here to have a relaxing time with a friend—i.e. me. So, we are going to get pampered.”

“Wait,” he said. “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow morning,” Kagome replied. “I’ll call you once I get home.”

“But—”

“Inuyasha, stop smothering her,” Sango snapped.

“I’m not,” he snarled in return.

Kagome swallowed hard and worked herself out of both their holds. “I’m gonna grab a coffee before we go.”

Flabbergasted, Inuyasha watched her go without complaint before turning his livid glare on Sango. “What the fuck? How can I win her back if I don’t even get to be around her?”

“Right now, that’s not my problem.”

A low growl built in his chest. “I thought you were gonna help me.”

“Inuyasha, calm down,” Miroku said from across the table. “Don’t make a scene.”

“Shut up! I want to know what the fuck she thinks she’s doing.”

Sango pursed her lips. “I’m trying to make up with my friend, if you don’t mind. You weren’t the only one who let her down, you know?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I chose you, Inuyasha,” she hissed. “Everything you put her through, and I knew about it all, but I chose you. I didn’t talk to her for over a year because I didn’t know how to apologize for that.”

Inuyasha’s jaw tightened as a new load of guilt landed heavy on his shoulders.

“Kagome’s right,” Sango continued. “She may have left, but we are the ones who abandoned her… after everything she did for us.” She looked between both the men at the table with their heads bowed in shame. “We have a lot of faith to rebuild between all of us.”

“Fine,” Inuyasha sneered, while reaching forward to unzip the front pocket of Kagome’s suitcase. 

“What are you doing?’ Sango asked with lingering irritation in her tone.

He fished around and withdrew her airline information, thanking every kami in existence that she hadn’t changed her travel habits. The woman was anal, with hardcopy backups of all her information. Pulling out his phone, he took a quick picture of the flight number.

“Inuyasha?”

“I’m not letting her get away that easy,” he replied, before packing everything away again.

He looked up with a smirk as Sango rolled her eyes. “That doesn’t sound creepy, at all.”

He scowled.

“What doesn’t sound creepy?” Kagome interrupted, coming up behind her with a paper cup in hand.

Inuyasha straightened, worried that he had been caught.

“Nothing,” Sango dismissed with a wave. “Let’s get going. I’m suffocating on the amount of testosterone in here.” 

She circled the table and snatched up her purse before leaning forward to give Miroku a quick kiss.

“Have fun,” he said with a smile.

Inuyasha stood when Kagome approached him and wrapped her arms around his middle. A lump lodged in his throat as he melted into the embrace. He squeezed her closer, memorizing the feel of her slender body and intoxicating scent.

Mine , his demon sighed in satisfaction.

She pulled away too soon and smiled up at him. “It was nice seeing you.”

“Yeah, you too. I’ve missed you, Kagome,” he said while nuzzling against her cheek.

He heard her sharp inhale before she admitted, “I miss you, too.”

Inuyasha almost sank to knees. “Then stay,” he whispered, cupping her face in his hand.

Kagome shook her head and took a step back. “I can’t, Sango and I have plans.”

“That’s right, bitch!” Sango interjected. “We are gonna tear shit up!”

Inuyasha tossed a glare in her direction.

“Just send me a link to the playlist,” Kagome said as she gathered her things.

“But,” he replied, feeling panicked at her inevitable departure. 

Both women took a step towards the door before he leapt forward and grabbed Kagome’s free hand.

“Wait!”

“Inuyasha?” She turned to look at him with her brow raised.

“Just, really think about it,” he pleaded. “I need you with me, Kagome.”

She swallowed hard and nodded. “I will. I promise.”

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “Thank you.”

“Alright Romeo,” Sango said from beside her. “Now let her go. We’ve got places to be.”

It was harder than he thought, letting go of her hand. He wanted to hold onto her forever, but eventually he found the strength. He peeled his fingers from around hers and released her, returning Kagome’s wave as they slipped out the door. 

Inuyasha turned and walked back to the table before plopping into a chair and covering his face with his hands. “That went worse than I imagined.”

“Really?” Miroku said from across the table. “I thought it went well.”

“Keh, how d’ya figure?” he mumbled while dragging his fingers down his face.  

His friend shrugged. “She didn’t refuse.”

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. “She was just too nice to do it twice in one sitting. You know how ‘Gome is; she’s too sweet for her own good.”

“Have a little more faith in her, Inuyasha,” Miroku chastised. “You asked her to think seriously about it and I’m sure she will.”

“Somehow that doesn’t make me feel any better,” he grumbled. 

A heavy silence settled between them for several long moments. Inuyasha tried to muster any feelings of hope but only managed a mild dread. He slumped further in his chair with a sigh. 

The shroud of despondency that was his constant companion had lifted in Kagome’s presence but was quickly retaking its rightful place. Her light and happiness had shined on him for only a moment, warming him from the inside out. Now, he was growing cold once more. A shiver stole through him.

The scraping sound of Miroku’s chair across the wood floor pinned his ears against his head with irritation.

He circled the table and stopped in front of Inuyasha. “What are you doing today, besides wallowing in self-pity?”

“I don’t wallow,” he sneered while crossing his arms over his chest.

“You do,” Miroku deadpanned. “And it’s unhealthy.”

“Fuck off.”

Instead, his friend stuck out his hand. “Come on.”

“Where?”

“I’m not gonna let you sit here and lick your wounds all alone,” Miroku said, grabbing his wrist. “The girls went out to have some fun and so should we.”

Inuyasha reluctantly let his friend pull him onto his feet. “Fun?”

“Yes, fun,” he replied while dragging him towards the door. “You know, what normal people do to cheer themselves up when they’re feeling down.” 

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and grumbled under his breath but allowed his friend to lead him out of the coffee shop and onto the busy sidewalk. He cocked one ear towards Miroku’s yammering, just barely managing to grunt or nod at the right time. His attention was elsewhere.

He dug his phone out of his pocket and typed in a quick Google search; Inuyasha had a flight to book.

--------------------------------------------------------

Kagome pushed through her hotel room door with a grunt and flipped on the first switch she could find. Soft light filled the generic beige space, somehow managing to look both inviting and spartan at the same time. She was used to frequent travel and lonely hotel rooms, but tonight the emptiness settled in her gut like a cold ball of lead. 

She let the door slam closed behind her and wrestled her small rolling bag down the short hallway, stopping by the bed. Kagome collapsed onto the mattress and fell back with an exhausted sigh. Her cheeks hurt from smiling so much; she hadn’t realized just how much she missed her friend. It had been so fulfilling to spend time with Sango, but now that she was alone, all the emotions that she had suppressed throughout the day were coming back to haunt her. 

The betrayal that she originally felt upon showing up in the coffee shop still lingered, despite Sango’s multiple apologies. Kagome couldn’t help it. Even when she was trying to make positive and healthy changes in her life, Inuyasha’s shadow haunted her. She was trying to move on, to put the past behind her, and yet all her efforts were futile. The past demanded reconciliation, no matter how hard she tried to run from it. 

Kagome sat straight and squared her shoulders, reminding herself that she was the only one who governed the course of her life, nothing else. In the end, the decision that she was contemplating was hers alone to make. She had power; she had agency. Her future was completely in her control.

Feeling a little more settled, she turned to her suitcase and unzipped it, withdrawing her pajamas and toiletry bag. She kicked off her shoes and padded towards the bathroom, pausing next to her purse. Through the slightly gaped opening, she saw her phone screen shine back at her.  

Inuyasha had sent her a link to his playlist while she and Sango were getting manicures. Kagome had managed to ignore the gnawing curiosity until now, but it was calling to her. She picked up the phone and opened the link, brow raising when she saw only four tracks in the queue. 

She dug her ear buds out of her purse and popped them in before selecting one at random. The first notes began to play as she headed into the bathroom, their heaviness and deep tenor startling her. It was out of the norm for the punk singer. 

Kagome dropped her items on the counter, brow furrowing as she listened. It was rough and she could tell that Inuyasha had played all the instruments. The bass wasn’t as smooth as when it was in Sango’s hands and the percussion lacked Miroku’s childlike thrill, but it was still impressive… and different. 

Inuyasha’s raspy voice held a festering pain, instead of the usual irreverent sarcasm.  As she listened to lyrics that seemed to be pulled straight from his soul, her heart twisted. She could feel the raw vulnerability in his words and ached along with him. The story he told was full of regret and the same struggle that every sentient being on the planet toiled through; the struggle to accept yourself. 

Tears welled in her eyes, but Kagome forced herself into her normal bedtime routine, removing her makeup and washing the day away from her face while trying to convince herself that the moisture on her cheeks came only from the water. She dressed in her dark green sleep shorts and black tank top before crawling back into bed and flipping off the light just as the last track began to play. It started with the humming silence of white noise before being broken by Inuyasha’s deep voice.

“I haven’t showed this to others yet because…” He paused for a long moment. “Well, it’s rough… but so far, I think it tells you everything you need to know.”

He took a deep breath and Kagome heard the subtle stilted entry of a bass in the background for several seconds. She began to relax before his urgent voice whispered into her ear.

“ Paralyzed, going out of my mind, can’t seem to help myself …” he trailed off before returning with the same anxious tone. “ Hear your voice, see your face, call your name, stuck in a living hell .” 

Her breath hitched as his tenor turned desperate, growling the last few words as if they pained him.

“ And I sleep just to leave this reality,” he crooned without giving her a reprieve. “Then I wake and it takes you away from me. I can't believe you and I are out of time; I never said goodbye. ”

There was a pause where it felt like something was missing, a beat of silence that yearned for a voice before the crash of a guitar blared.

“ You were the only thing worth living for! ” he half-sang and half-shouted. “ How could you go and leave me here; I’m all alone! ” Several heavy power cords sounded in rapid succession. “ So, I walk this earth half-alive, til the day I die. I’m killing time, killing time…for you.”

Kagome threw her headphones off before a sob burst from her lips. The absence of Inuyasha’s voice both soothed and tore at her. The emotion in his words matched hers; she had so many regrets, so much that she wanted to say to him. Her hand was reaching for her phone and dialing his number before she could think better of it. She heard it ring twice before being answered.

“’Ello,” Inuyasha rumbled from the other side of the line.

Her throat constricted; she didn’t know what to say. A breathy whimper burst from her lips.

She heard the rustling of fabric. “Kagome? What is it? What’s wrong?”

The blatant concern in his tone ripped a trembling breath from her chest.

“Kagome! Are you okay?” he asked, his worry palpable even over the phone. “Baby, you gotta answer me.”

“I-I’m fine,” she choked out, the frantic endearment making her heart ache.

“Doesn’t sound like it.”

“I just… had a nightmare,” she fibbed through tears.

He released a relieved breath. “And you called me?”

“I shouldn’t have,” Kagome blubbered. “S-sorry, I’ll let you get back to sleep.”

“No!” He bit out a quiet curse. “I don’t mind. What was your nightmare about?”

“I-I-I don’t even remember,” she fumbled. “I just woke up crying and needed to hear your voice.”

“Does that happen often?”

“What?” she replied with a watery laugh that held no trace of humor. “The waking up crying or needing to hear your voice?”

“Both.”

Her voice cracked as she answered, “Yeah, actually.”

“Dammit,” he hissed. “This is difficult.”

“What is?”

Inuyasha huffed in frustration; she could picture him running a hand through the shaggy bangs around his face. “Listening to you cry like this without being able to hug you.”

Her heart swelled. “Would you? If you were here?”

“Baby, say the word and I’ll be there in twenty minutes,” he replied in a low tone that sent shivers through her.

Kagome tensed. “No, we shouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because it won’t do anything except make me feel more confused than I already am,” she whined. “I shouldn’t have even called you.”

“You can call me anytime, day or night.”

“So could you,” she accused. “And yet you never have.”

“It’s not the same,” he explained.

“How?”

“Because I’m the one who fucked up,” Inuyasha replied in a heated tone. “I have no right to come strolling back, asking for a place in your life, especially if you’ve already moved on and are happy.”

“And yet you got Sango to lure me here for this surprise attack?”

He growled. “It wasn’t supposed to be like that.”

She ignored his flimsy excuses and scoffed. “Well, what if I am happy?” Kagome lied through her teeth. “What if I have moved on without you?”

Inuyasha went alarmingly quiet for several moments. “Is that true?”

Her grip on the phone tightened as she bit at the inside of her cheek. She couldn’t do it; she couldn’t lie to him again.

“’Is it?” he snapped, making her jump.

“What does it matter?” she cried. “Things are what they are. You made your choices, and I made mine. That’s the end of it.”

“We both know that’s bullshit,” he hissed. “It matters to me. I want you with me ‘Gome… and I want you happy.”

The heartfelt sentiment, so close to what she had heard moments before on that playlist, pulled another sob from her throat. “I don’t know if you can get both.”

“Gimme a fuckin’ chance, at least!”

She flinched and sucked in a sharp breath at the anger in his voice. “I should go.”

“No!” he shouted before tempering his tone. “I just—I just need you to give me a chance. You said you would really think about it, but it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind.”

“I haven’t,” she assured him. “I’m keeping my promise.”

“Have you even listened to the music?” he asked, reminding her of their first meeting.

Kagome paused, thinking back over her emotional experience with it. “Umm.. not yet. I haven’t had the time.”

“Keh,” he scoffed. “If you’re not going to take this seriously then—”

“I am taking it seriously,” she interrupted. “If you recall, I was off the clock today, spending time with a friend. I’ll get back to work when, and if, I feel like it.’

“So, you’re basically telling me to go fuck myself,” he drawled.

“No, of course not. I’m saying it’s my life, Inuyasha,” she replied. “I’ll decide what type of toxic situation I step into.”

“I’m not fuckling toxic!” he shouted before his mouth audibly snapped shut.

Kagome sighed and rubbed at the headache forming behind her eyes. “This conversation is getting us nowhere. I should go.”

“Wait,” he pleaded. “Are you feeling any better?”

Her brow furrowed. “What?

“Your nightmare,” Inuyasha explained. “Do you think you’ll be able to get back to sleep?”

A reluctant smile found Kagome’s lips. “Yeah, I do. Thank you.”

“Keh, don’t thank me,” he dismissed. “I’ve probably only reminded you why you left in the first place.”

She hummed. “Quite the opposite actually.”

“What does that mean?”

“To be honest,” she murmured. “I haven’t felt this alive in six years.”

He sighed. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

The silence stretched between them for several long moments before she released a pent breath.  “Goodnight, Inuyasha.”

“I’ll be seeing you,” he replied cryptically. “Get some sleep, ‘Gome.”

She hummed in a non-committal tone. “I’ll do my best… bye.”

The phone beeped twice before going silent. She still felt lonely but a little warmer than before. Something about Inuyasha’s attitude caused an unbidden hope to bloom in her heart, no matter how hard she fought against it. 

Kagome sighed and turned on her alarm before flipping off the light switch. She had a flight at eleven in the morning that she couldn’t miss. Then she could put all of this history behind her where it belonged and make a decision with a clear head. 

  She slumped against the mattress and tried to ignore the ghost of Inuyasha’s scent that her mind conjured from ephemera. He still smelled so good, inviting her to nuzzle and snuffle against him like some love-struck bitch. Kagome groaned at her own thoughts; she couldn’t be this far gone already, right?

Inuyasha scowled in her direction but didn’t respond; he had nothing to say in his defense.

Miroku sighed and pushed a hand through his dark hair. “Well, I guess that’s out of the question. It sucks, but I think we’ll have to find someone else.”

“No!” he growled, making their eyes widen. “It has to be her, no one else.”

Sango shook her head. “Inuyasha, I know you feel guilty for everything that happened but—”

“This isn’t about that!”

She raised a dubious brow.

He winced. “It isn’t just about that. It’s—fuck, you wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” she insisted.

Inuyasha shook his head.

“If you want any more of my help with Kagome, you’ll have to tell me why this is so important. Why does it have to be her? Why are you suddenly so eager to have her in your life?”

His ears lowered against his head; he couldn’t tell them. When Sango and Miroku understood what Kagome meant to him, the resulting guilt might bury him alive.

“Inuyasha?” Sango prompted again.

He hung his head, allowing a curtain of silver hair to hide his face as he whispered, “She’s my mate.”

He heard them suck in a sharp breath. Both had no doubt heard the same stories in school growing up. Great demons searching for their fated mate, the first glimpse of romance that their little minds were afforded. Inuyasha had been bored out of his skull just listening to them.

In the past, when the world was smaller, there was a reasonable assumption that this goal was attainable, that this mysterious person who made up your other half could be found, but on a planet of over seven billion beings, those odds slimmed considerably. A mate was someone to be treasured, and he had treated Kagome like she was… worthless .

Argh! The sound of that word gasping from between her trembling lips wouldn’t leave his ears. It twisted his heart, pumping an icy poison of regret through his veins.

“Wh-what? When?” Sango went silent for several seconds before gritting out through her teeth, “How long have you known?”

“From the beginning,” he replied, voice low. “From the first day I met her.”

“I knew it. I knew you were hiding something from me.” He heard Sango move but didn’t even brace as her fist connected with his cheek. “You ass!”

Inuyasha’s head whipped to the side, and he embraced the sting. He deserved her wrath on behalf of their friend, on behalf of fate, on behalf of everything he had scoffed in the face of, like a complete idiot. If it made him worthy of Kagome, he’d let Sango beat the hell out of him with a godsdamn smile.

“Nine years?!” Sango screeched. “Nine years and you… you were fuckin around, stickin your dick in anything that moved—”

“I didn’t actually do that.”

“What?!”

He shrugged. “I know it looked like I was always with a woman, but I just wanted it to seem that way. I didn’t actually sleep with any of them; I couldn’t. After being with Kagome, touching another woman felt,” he shuddered in disgust, “wrong.”

“Why?” Miroku asked. “Inuyasha that just sounds—”

“Cruel,” Sango interjected. “Why the hell would you do that to her?”

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I was trying to push her away, to make her hate me.”

“Well, congratulations,” Miroku said with a hint of reproach in his tone. “I think you succeeded.”

Inuyasha’s head fell back, rubbing his hands between his spread legs while they jittered with tension. He was getting judgment from the pervert now?

“No doubt,” Sango agreed with a derisive snort. “You only made it worse by constantly falling into her bed, too.”

“I couldn’t help it!” He pushed a hand through his silver hair, scraping his claws against his scalp.  

Her lip curled with disgust. “That’s pathetic.”

“You got me, Sango,” he snapped. “I’m a completely pathetic, sad sack, piece of shit. Happy now?”

“Don’t say any of that like it’s going to save you,” she said, placing an indignant hand on her hip. “You think just because you finally pulled your head out of your ass means you deserve a second chance?”

His shoulders slumped. “No.”

“You’re damn right! What you deserve is to watch her move on with her life…”

Inuyasha squeezed his eyes shut as a hopeless anguish ripped through him, but Sango continued without mercy.

“You deserve to watch her find a man who treats her with compassion and devotion, like she’s precious.”

Mine! His demon howled from the back of his mind until his temples throbbed.

Still, she didn’t relent. “You deserve to watch her build a happy life and at its end to be surrounded by a family who loves and treasures her.”

Inuyasha folded in on himself, a keening whine breaking past his lips when he could no longer contain his misery. Did he deserve to watch Kagome leave him behind forever? Probably… Was it something he feared with every fiber of his being? Absolutely…

Miroku cleared his throat, saving him from any further torment. “Sango, sweetheart.”

“What?” she snapped.

“I’m not entirely sure if this shame-fest is having the desired effect.”

She went quiet for a long moment, but Inuyasha didn’t raise his gaze from the floor, which he was hoping would open and swallow him whole. “What was the point of doing all that?”

“I told you,” he said again. “To push her away.”

“Yes,” she hissed. “But why the hell would you want to do that? Any other demon in your position would be over the moon and that should go double for half-demons. Most people don’t even think you have mates. So, why?”

Inuyasha took a deep breath before answering. Eventually he’d have to face the same question from Kagome, he better get damn good at answering it now. “I was a dumbass! I was young and stupid and arrogant and…scared,” he admitted.

“Scared? Of what?” Miroku asked.

“I wasn’t ready for something like that,” he said, looking down at his clasped hands. “I’m not good with women in general. How was I supposed to win this person who was meant to be it for me? And let’s be honest, she’s way outta my league; it didn’t seem like we would ever actually fit together. It felt like I was being set up for failure.” He scratched at the back of his head. “I resented it, being forced into this relationship that I didn’t even want or think myself capable of growing. It wasn’t supposed to be like that, anyway. We were just starting out; it was supposed to be all parties and music and groupies.”

“Sex, drugs and rock-n-roll,” Miroku said in a wistful tone.

Inuyasha lifted his hand, gesturing at him over the table. “Exactly!”

“Don’t lump me in with you,” he grumbled. “You took that entire thing to an extreme.”

“Exactly!” Sango mocked with a similar wave of her hand.

Inuyasha scowled. “You don’t get it. These instincts are overwhelming. It felt like I wasn’t in control of myself.”

“And copious amounts of alcohol and amphetamines made that better?” Sango asked in a disbelieving tone.

“Not exactly,” he replied, rubbing at the back of his neck. “When I was around her, it made it damn near impossible to control my impulses, but away from her… I was able to forget about it, I didn’t feel this constant need gnawing at me.”

“Yeah, but that wasn’t just your instincts or fate,” she explained. “It was you being infatuated. The mating bond doesn’t force you to want someone, it reveals who you’re most likely to be compatible with.”

“I get that now,” Inuyasha replied, his mounting frustration clear in his tone. “But back then it was just easier to blame it all on my demon side and push it away.”

She clicked her tongue. “You almost died, Inu. Was it really worth it?”

“How many times you want me to admit that I’m a dumbass?”

His ears twitched as Sango cursed. “You’ve made such a mess of this.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t,” she replied. “Humans feel it too, you know? That connection, those bonds of fate. We may not be able to name it and maybe we don’t feel it with the same intensity, but it’s there. Imagine the pain, the betrayal she felt.”

“Please … stop,” he whispered, hiding his face in his hands. “I just want to fix it.”

“Sango,” Miroku interjected again.

She sighed. “Inuyasha, I don’t know if you can fix this. You threw a gift back in fate’s face; you’ll need a miracle.”

He finally worked up the courage to meet her eyes. “Then help me… please ,” he begged through clenched teeth. “I can’t do this by myself.”

She pursed her lips. “Fine, I’ll go talk to her, but you have to promise me that if I get her to come back out here, you’ll be on your best behavior.”

He nodded.

“And you swear that you’re taking this seriously?” she asked. “No more waffling back and forth, no more jumping into bed with her only to push her away?”

“Fuck no!” he snapped before deflating. “Look, I know what life is like without her and I don’t want to do it anymore. If Kagome’s really done with me, then I’ll accept that,” he admitted, “but if there’s even the smallest chance that I can win her back… I gotta take it, Sango.”

She took a deep breath and exhaled, her face softening just a fraction. “Fine, I’ll go talk to her, but I don’t think she’s any happier with me than she is with you.”

Miroku chose this moment to pipe up, “I could go if—”

“No,” Inuyasha and Sango cut him off at the same time.

“The last thing we need is your brand of charm,” she added before walking away, following Kagome’s path to the restrooms.

-------------------------------------------- 

Kagome avoided the curious gaze of the woman standing at the mirror as she stormed into the bathroom, feeling the warm burn of tears in her eyes. She slammed open the door of the nearest cubicle and immediately rested her back against it, sucking in a shuddering breath. What the hell?

It was difficult to even parse out how she was feeling. All of her emotions clambered on top of each other, fighting for dominance: betrayal, rejection, grief, compassion, and even still longing.

This was supposed to be a no pressure reconnection with a good friend. She had been excited to see Sango again, to heal her relationship with a woman who was once her sister in many ways. She had been prepared for it to be a little awkward and uncomfortable, but this had felt like an attack.

She had tried not to resent Sango when her partnership with The Strays had fallen out and her friend had gone silent for almost a year. Inuyasha was Sango’s oldest and best friend, they were more like family. It made sense that she stayed to help him recover, to help him find his way back to reality. It still felt like she was choosing Inuyasha over her, though. While Kagome logically understood, it didn’t negate the disappointment at being so easily forgotten.

When Sango had finally reached out, she had started by apologizing over and over again. It had been difficult to deny her. They had stayed in touch during the next five years by text and the frequent phone call, but this was the first time since severing her ties with the band that she was supposed to see Sango face to face. Just a quick little stop over on her way home from vacation.

Kagome had been eager; it had been ages since she had seen Sango’s smile and laugh or felt the strong reassurance of her embrace. She had missed it and, on her way here, she had allowed herself to feel the deep loss, that hole in her life that the absence of her friend had left. And yet, she couldn’t help but feel grateful that Inuyasha had her support during such a difficult time, even if Kagome felt guilty that she couldn’t provide it. He looked… good, and, if not content, more himself.

Seeing him after all this time was such a shock. Inuyasha had filled out, his tanned skin was packed with more muscle than she had seen in a while, still tall and lean but healthy. He was magnetic; she hadn’t been prepared to steel herself against his appeal. He had the same irreverent, bad-boy look that had drawn her in the beginning, with the piercings, tattoos, and black jeans that barely clung to his slim hips, torn by his fidgeting claws rather than designer labels.  

It had been Inuyasha’s golden eyes that tugged at her heartstrings, though. They had been full of the same pain and remorse that was reflected at her each morning in the mirror, as if he had suffered every day of their separation with her. Those invisible ties that had grown slack between them had bound her once more and with it came that same fierce desire to hold him, soothe him, and to allow him to comfort her in turn, a yearning that she didn’t truly understand.

She heard the doorway to the bathroom swing open and closed. “Kagome?”   

Sango’s voice made her flinch, and she bit her lip as another frustrated tear fell down her cheek. 

“Kagome, I know you’re in here,” she said in a patient tone. 

She grit her teeth and flicked the lock, flinging the door wide open. “Of course, I’m in here,” she hissed. “I have nowhere else to escape. You made sure of that, didn’t you?”

Sango rolled her dark brown eyes. “That’s a little dramatic, isn’t it? You can leave at any time.”

“Not without making a scene,” Kagome grumbled as she stomped towards the sinks and grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser. “I’ve already made a hysterical fool of myself once today,” she said while leaning forward to dab at her smeared mascara. “Not exactly eager for a repeat.”

Sango sighed and took a step towards her. “Look, I know it was a shock to see Inuyasha—”

“Don’t.” Kagome whipped around to glare at her. “Don’t you dare come in here and argue on his behalf.”

“I’m not,” her friend replied in a shaky voice. “I’m arguing on mine.”

Kagome swallowed hard as Sango took another step closer.

“I know that I’ve said this before,” she began while staring at her hands. “But I’m sorry, that I abandoned you.”

“Sango, we’ve talked about this,” she said in a dismissive tone. “What you should be apologizing for is bringing him here with no warning.”

“I know but this is the first time I’ve seen you in person since Inuyasha…” She hesitated. “overdosed.”

Kagome pursed her lips as another tear fell from her eye.

“I didn’t want to choose sides,” Sango continued. “But then you left, and I-I couldn’t leave.”

“And I couldn’t stay,” she whispered around the lump caught in her throat. “You weren’t there. You didn’t see him or have to use your hands to keep his heart pumping. For a moment, the whole world became gray and dull, like life itself wasn’t even worth living. I never want to feel like that again, especially for someone who doesn’t love me.”

Sango stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Kagome’s trembling shoulders. “I don’t blame you for leaving.”

“I don’t blame you for staying,” she replied through sniffles. “I’m glad Inuyasha had you around.” 

“He’s doing a lot better, if you’re wondering.”

Kagome pulled back with a watery chuckle. “I thought you weren’t here to argue for him.”

“I’m not,” Sango replied with a shrug. “It’s just that, even though I’ve watched his health improve, he’s become quieter, more withdrawn than I’ve ever seen him. I just thought this would give him something to live for again. And I know if anyone can make it happen, you can.”

“I don’t know, Sango.”

“Just give him a shot,” she replied. “You don’t need to commit to anything now.”

“So what?” Kagome said with a sly grin. “Just take the music and run?”

“Why not? We already had plans today, didn’t we?”

“You don’t think that’s a little rude?”

“Serves him right for how he treated you.” Sango ducked around her and took a quick glance in the mirror, dabbing at the skin under her eyes.

Kagome did the same before she felt a nudge against her shoulder.  She met Sango’s reflected gaze.

“Remember that time in New York when we stole Inuyasha’s wallet and went to have brunch at the Ritz?”

She giggled. “How could I forget? Inuyasha was so mad, he made us pay for his meals for the rest of the trip.”

Sango rolled her eyes. “Sometimes, I wonder if he isn’t half-cat instead of dog. That asshole can sure hold onto a grudge.”

“Don’t ever let him hear you say that,” Kagome replied. 

They shared a dubious look and melted into a fit of giggles until Sango’s gaze grew tender. She swiped a few strands of hair behind Kagome’s ear.

“See? There were some good times, too.”

“I know. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss it.”

Sango smiled and pulled her into another hug. “I’m really glad you came.

“Me too, the ambush notwithstanding.” Kagome paused and pulled back, loosely gripping her friends’ elbows. “Why didn’t you tell me he was coming?”

“I wanted to see you and I didn’t want you to cancel just because of him.”

She shook her head. “I wouldn’t have canceled. To be honest, I’ve been wanting to see all of you. I just didn’t expect him to be so—”

“Dickish?”

Kagome laughed. “No, it’s just… the way he was looking at me.”

“Like he’s head over heels?”

“Don’t say that,” she scoffed. “It’s not true.”

Sango’s gaze grew serious. “You have to know that he cares about you.”

“Not really, he never made a point of showing it,” she replied.

Her friend grabbed her by the shoulders. “I know he’s screwed up in the past, but Inuyasha’s changed, Kagome. More like the guy you fell in love with and less like the playboy rockstar.”

She looked down to study her nails and remained quiet.

“You do still love him, don’t you?” Sango asked.

Kagome hesitated to answer. She should hate him, everything she knew about being a strong independent woman told her so. Inuyasha had toyed with her affections, pulling her close only to push her away. He had used her, satisfied his lust within her body only to treat her with disdain. It was hurtful, but Sango wasn’t wrong. There were good times.

The moments when they were intimate seemed to exist in a universe of their own, outside of the way he treated her in the real world. Lost in each other, Inuyasha showed a new side of himself. He was attentive, generous, and focused solely on her pleasure before his. In those sweet hours, she had felt like all that mattered. It was only afterwards that he made her feel like a mistake and that contradiction had slowly chipped away at her self-esteem.

Things were different now, though. She wasn’t the same immature girl anymore. She owned her own business, managing several different well-known clients. She owned her own home, and had just paid off her modest sedan. She had even adopted a cat. By most people’s standards she was successful, but the wounds that she had incurred back then had left lasting scars. 

Kagome didn’t open herself up to people anymore. She was friendly and polite, with many close acquaintances, but none that she considered actual friends other than Rin. She wasn’t sure she could count that one since technically she was family. Her love life was non-existent; she’d practically become a nun. No one had touched her intimately since… him .

Inuyasha no longer denied this claim, but he had fucked up so bad, he knew that he had no right to voice it. Soon , he soothed that primal part of him. It was the reason he was here. He had a plan. It was growing difficult to remember, however, the longer he stared at her.

She was gorgeous. If he placed his lips to her body, Inuyasha was sure she would taste of summer. Kagome’s alabaster skin was sun-kissed like she’d been drenched in honey, and she was showing so much of it. The green tank top and tan shorts clung to her curves, leaving her slender arms and long legs on display. Those legs …Inuyasha almost groaned, remembering the many times they had wrapped around his naked hips as he buried his length inside of her trembling body. 

Mine , his demon insisted again, to his irritation. Ours, learn to fucking share.  

“You’re drooling again,” Sango hissed from Inuyasha’s side. 

His jaw snapped shut as the reality of the situation once again settled on his shoulders, weighing them down. “You didn’t tell her?” he repeated with a growl.

“Of course not,” she scoffed. “I didn’t want her to outright refuse.”

He snarled. “Oh yeah, it’s much better that we spring it on her!”

“Kagome!” Miroku called over their bickering. 

He stood and circled the table as she approached them, rolling a small suitcase behind her. Kagome released a strained laugh as he wrapped her up in a hug.

“Miroku! How are you?” she asked, pulling back to offer him a smile, even as her eyes darted in Inuyasha’s direction.

“I’m fantastic.”

“Looks like it,” Kagome replied, patting him on the back. “Engaged life seems to agree with you. You haven’t tried to grab my butt yet.”

Miroku shrugged. “What can I say? It feels pretty good being domesticated. There’s only one butt for me.”

“Good to know. I better be invited to the wedding,” she warned with a mock glare.

  Sango finally unfolded her body and approached the other woman, grabbing her hands. “I kind of hoped you would be standing up there with me.” Inuyasha saw her shoulders bunch. “That is, if we’re still friends?”

Kagome pursed her lips before pulling her into a hug. “Of course we’re still friends, silly.”

“I promise, we aren’t trying to ambush you.” Sango stepped back with her arms still in a loose circle around her shoulders.

Kagome’s eyes narrowed as her plush lips twisted into a smirk. “Really? Because this feels a bit like an ambush.”

Inuyasha cursed under his breath and dragged a clawed hand down his face. He had thought this was a step forward, that she had agreed to meet him here. It had felt like a second chance and it hurt to have that sliver of hope completely ripped away from him.

He cleared his throat before lumbering to his feet and approaching them. Every eye turned to him and Inuyasha felt a blush creep up his neck. “I swear, I didn’t agree to this. I thought you knew I would be here.”

Kagome frowned. “If you wanted to talk, you could have just picked up the phone.”

“I kind of assumed that you had blocked me,” he replied, scratching at the back of his neck.

She gave a small shake of her head. “I didn’t; you could have called any time.”

The accusation was there in her tone, but Inuyasha couldn’t help but feel heartened. All this time, she had wanted to hear from him; that had to be a good thing. He felt that small ember of hope burst into full flame.

He stepped closer and snatched up her hand, rubbing his thumb along her soft skin. Kagome tensed but didn’t pull away. Inuyasha drew her out of Sango’s loose hold until she was standing toe to toe with him. 

“I wanted to, every day I wanted to call you. I just didn’t know what to say,” he said, trying to infuse his voice with every ounce of debilitating regret he had struggled with for the last six years. “I still don’t know how to apologize for… everything.”

Kagome’s face softened, a small smile curling her lips. “You could always start with, ‘I’m sorry’.”

“Keh,” he scoffed. “That doesn’t really seem like enough but… I am sorry.” Inuyasha squeezed her hand. “I’m so sorry, Kagome.”

She took a deep breath and released it through her nose, her keen eyes darting between his. Inuyasha let her read it all, his remorse, his longing, his excitement at finally seeing her again. It was written all over his face and in his eyes. Inuyasha was done hiding things from his mate—except for the fact that she was his mate.

Too soon . She would run screaming. Inuyasha had to prove that he was worthy, that he could be everything she needed. He had to find a way to earn her love again. 

Kagome’s flush deepened the longer he stared at her, until she finally cleared her throat and looked away. “So, why am I here?”

He was very aware that she hadn’t offered her forgiveness, but she was giving him an opening. He’d be a fool not to take it. Inuyasha grabbed her suitcase from the floor and led her toward the seat that Sango had vacated. 

Kagome perched on the edge of the wooden chair and readjusted the purse strap on her shoulder. He didn’t like how stiff she seemed, like she was ready to bolt at any minute. He placed her suitcase beside her as she whispered out a ‘thank you’.

Inuyasha reclaimed the seat across from her and scooted closer until their knees were almost touching. “Thank you … for staying. I know this must be a little jarring.”

“Well, I still consider you all friends, at least,” Kagome said, shifting into a more comfortable position as she dropped her bag to the floor. “Not like I’m just going to run out the door.”

“Still friends, huh?” he asked with a grin. “That’s good to know.”

Her face softened with an answering smile. “You’ll always be my friend, Inuyasha.”

He opened his mouth, but words refused to come. He gaped like a fish, unable to voice what that declaration did to his feeble heart.

Sango cleared her throat as she claimed the seat on the other side of Kagome, Miroku taking the one beside her.

“Get to the point, dummy,” she grumbled. “Stop staring at her like she hung the fucking moon.”

Inuyasha scowled, but Kagome released a short giggle that was like fucking candy to his sensitive ears. He felt them wiggle as a shiver tripped down his spine. Fuck , it had been too long since he heard that sound. She was laughing at him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. If that’s what it took to bring her joy, he’d make a complete fool of himself just for her entertainment… anything to see the smile that so entranced him. She looked beautiful. 

The long black hair, that normally fell well past Kagome’s shoulders, was bundled into a messy knot on top of her head. Several dark strands had worked their way free and wisped around her face and neck, looking impossibly soft. He almost reached out his hand to wrap those delicate tendrils around his fingers.

Miroku coughed. “Inuyasha?”

He shook himself back to the matter at hand and rubbed his clammy palms on the front of his jeans.How did he ask this? Was there a way to do it gently? He couldn’t think of anything better than just blurting it out. “We want you to manage us again.”

--------------------------------------------------------------

  Kagome gawked, mouth working without any sound emerging. Inuyasha’s face looked so hopeful, so bright and lively. She was tempted to shout out ‘yes’ without even thinking, but she restrained herself. She had more to think about than just her own desires.

"Why? Are you working on something new?” she asked, instead of answering.

  “Inuyasha has been,” Miroku replied with an encouraging smile. 

  The half-demon in question flushed and cleared his throat before looking away.

Kagome raised a brow. Inuyasha had never been shy about sharing his work. He was proud of it, as he should be. He was a brilliant songwriter, composer, and could play almost any instrument that was placed in his hands. So, his reluctance to share intrigued her.

“Oh?” she prompted gently.

He shrugged. “Well, it’s a bit different from our normal stuff.”

“Has the label agreed to renew your contract?”

“Not exactly.” It was no secret that he was considered a liability. All the women, drugs, drinking, and run-ins with law enforcement had added up to a lot of bad press over the years. “That’s why I need you,” he finished, grabbing onto her hand again.

Kagome didn’t reveal what that small contact did to her. It had been so long since she had heard his voice or even seen him, but still his touch stripped her bare. Inuyasha needed her; he’d never admitted that before.

Dammit, get your head together, girl. You know this only one way.

Heartbreak…

She stifled a huff of irritation and endeavored to keep her face blanked of emotion.

“That’s why we need you,” Sango corrected from her other side.

Kagome turned to look at the other woman, noting the apology in her eyes, even as she willingly participated in this emotional manipulation. She knew how hard their falling out had been on Kagome. Apparently, her lingering trauma mattered little. 

She’d been their manager for three years and, in the beginning, it had been lovely. Well…not the beginning, exactly, somewhere more towards the middle. In the beginning, Inuyasha had behaved like a caged animal, hissing and spitting anytime she tried to draw near. Getting to know him was like peeling back the layers on an onion, as it also made her cry.

It had taken almost a year for him to warm up to her but it had been worth the wait. Despite his rather gruff and harsh exterior, Inuyasha could be sweet, considerate, and clever. Not to mention that he possessed a set of pipes that turned most girls’ knees to jelly, it certainly had hers. After some time, they had found that they really did get along…maybe too well. Kagome had broken her cardinal rule for him; never sleep with a client.

She wasn’t entirely sure how she could have resisted, though. Maybe it was the superhuman good looks. Maybe it was his natural talent and charisma. Maybe it was the way he made her cum so hard she saw stars. There was something about Inuyasha that drew her in and kept her ensnared, even when things had started to turn.

It happened so fast. Kagome had thought they were building something together, an actual relationship that, up to that point, had remained undefined. When one day, out of the blue, Inuyasha had changed from this rough around the edges guy with a heart of gold, to a freewheeling playboy who fucked anything in a tight skirt. He had shattered her heart into crystalline shards so tiny and delicate that it could never be made whole again.

And yet, she had stayed, hoping beyond hope that he would come to his senses. The life of a rockstar was bound to get to anyone from time to time… but then, there was the drinking and the drugs. Still, she stayed, cleaning up after every one of his messes, bailing him out of jail, burying bad press, dying inside as he dismissed her afterwards with little more than a wave of thanks.

Kagome hated to remember herself back then, this pathetic little girl so head over heels in love that she would let herself be treated like dirt. It made her furious and confused. She still didn’t know what had set him off.

Well… that was just an outright lie, wasn’t it? She knew, of course she knew.

She had told Inuyasha that she loved him.

Kagome just wasn’t sure why that had sparked a full-on downward spiral.. but she was sure that she couldn’t go through it again.

She frowned, slipping her hand from his. “I-I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“What?” Inuyasha whispered, ears drooping. “Why not?”

She nearly relented at the soulful puppy eyes he turned on her but steeled herself. “I’m not with the label anymore. I started my own company. We manage dozens of clients. I can’t pass off my other accounts just to focus on you.”

Kagome watched the muscles in his jaw bunch, preparing herself for one of his tirades, when he surprised her. Inuyasha took a deep breath through his nose and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his gaze fixed on his intertwined fingers.

“If you’re worried about it, you should know, I’m clean.” He tsked and rolled his eyes. “Well, clean of anything that could get me arrested, anyway. Thank the gods weed is legal in Nevada now,” he said with a weak chuckle while rubbing at his brow. “I would’ve gone crazy a long time ago.”

He didn’t look at her the entire time he spoke, shame and regret hunching his broad shoulders. It had to be difficult to talk about, especially with the others sitting so close. To their credit, Miroku and Sango remained quiet, their sympathetic gazes offering silent support amid his vulnerability.

“But I can quit that, too,” Inuyasha rushed to say. “If that would help. Whatever makes you comfortable.”

Kagome’s heart lurched and without thinking, she reached out to grab his hand. “That’s not what I was talking about, but it’s good to know that you’re taking care of yourself.”

His molten golden eyes whipped up to hers filled with surprise and a glimmer of soft affection. Dammit! Stay strong, Higurashi, stay strong.

Inuyasha kept a firm grip on her fingers and sat forward, licking his lips. “Well, tell me what to do. Whatever it is, I’ll do it.”

“That’s not…” Kagome shook her head. “I’m not sure there’s anything to do . We just don’t work very well together.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” he scoffed. “We make a great team.” He swallowed before gesturing across the table. “All of us.”

“We did, for a while, that’s true.” She averted her eyes, picking at the peeling varnish on the tabletop with a single nail. “And—"

“And then I screwed up, I know,” he interrupted matter-of-factly. “But I-I’m better now. I feel better. I feel like myself again, if a slightly banged up version.” Inuyasha winced and waved his free hand through the air while continuing to swipe his thumb back and forth over her knuckles in an almost obsessive gesture. “That’s…irrelevant, but my point is, I’m not that guy anymore.”

Kagome pursed her lips as her eyes began to warm. “And I’m glad, but I can’t put myself in that situation again.”

“Didn’t I just say that you wouldn’t have to?” he bit out, beginning to show some of the characteristic temper that he had so far controlled. 

“Yes,” she agreed in a breathy whisper. “But it doesn’t mean that you can erase what happened, Inuyasha.”

“I know what happened! I did it!” he snapped, voice rising as he started to fidget. “But I’m trying to fix it, dammit!”  

“Sometimes you can’t,” she replied in a firm tone. “Sometimes things are just broken. You can’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again, or unring a bell, or…”

“Put the toothpaste back in the tube?” Miroku supplied, reminding her that there were still other people privy to what was becoming a very personal conversation.

Three sets of eyes narrowed on him, and Miroku shrank under their gazes.

Sango reached out, smacking the back of his head. “Idiot.”

“Ow.” The poor man hissed.

Kagome released an exasperated breath and brushed a few strands of hair away from her eyes. “Inu—” She bit her lip, “The bottom line is that I can’t give you the type of attention that you would need.”

“Can’t or won’t?” he sneered, crossing his arms over his chest.

She dropped her gaze to her hands in her lap, feeling isolated in a group of people that she had once considered family. “Both?”

“The fuck does that mean?” He was plucking at old wounds that had never been set properly, drawing up a past that she didn’t want to revisit.

“Inuyasha,” Sango warned.

“No, if she’s just gonna abandon me—” He cleared his throat. “I mean, us. I want to hear why!”

With those words, Inuyasha might as well have stepped forward and torn one of those sharp claws through the aging stitches that held her heart together. Kagome shuddered as hurt and anger bubbled up from the bloodied lump within her chest.

She slapped a hand down on the table. “Abandon you?” she hissed through clenched teeth as her vision swam with tears. “Abandon you?” She turned her furious gaze on the origin of her ire and took little pleasure when Inuyasha gulped, looking as if he would rather hug his brother than continue this conversation. “Do you have any idea how many times I had to watch you walk away from me? Like I was nothing?!”

“Kagome,” Sango whispered from her side, but she was beyond listening.

For too long, she had swallowed her feelings, more willing to hurt inside than inflict that hurt on its source, but she was done. Let Inuyasha see what he wrought and answer for the harm he caused.

“You selfish ass,” she hissed. “Don’t you think, even for a moment, that you’re the only one who is hurt here. Don’t you dare think that you’re the only one with wounds or regrets.” Kagome’s chin jutted up even as a tear breached her eyelid and tumbled down her cheek. “You want to know the real reason?”

Despite all his bluster a moment before, Inuyasha looked unsure, but she continued unperturbed.

“The real reason is you . No one, in my whole life, has ever made me feel so small. Like my concern, my efforts, my very existence were all worthless,” she seethed. “You broke me. Excuse me if I’m not insane enough to jump back into that situation.”

Tears were free flowing down her cheeks and a sob curled in her throat. Everything was just too raw, too exposed. She was beginning to feel like that same young woman who would do anything just for him to smile at her. She needed to get away, needed some space.

“Chill out,” Sango said with a smile. “This is supposed to be exciting, remember?”

He tried to return her enthusiasm but probably only managed a pained grimace. His stomach hurt.

She squeezed his fingers and Inuyasha flipped his hand over, clasping hers for a bit of reassurance. Thank fuck Sango was here. He’d never be able to do something like this without her. She was his oldest friend and confidant, more like an overbearing elder sister in many ways.

They had met in middle school and bonded instantly over their tastes in music, which were diverse to say the least. They would pester and criticize each other, bickering about the greatest bands, drummers, guitarists, pretty much anything they could argue over. When they had both received their first guitars one Christmas, they had spent the entire break fumbling around on the strings. They had learned together, composed together, building their talents.

Although, Sango had eventually switched to the bass, becoming a credit to the artform. She stole the show, able to pull sounds out of the instrument that Inuyasha could only ever dream about, and of their small following, a fan favorite.

Of course, they had gone through that awkward and confusing period in junior high where they tried dating. Everyone had always assumed they were anyway. So, in their teenage minds it made sense, but the idea of being romantic with each other in any way had grossed them both out too much. They decided they were better as friends, and whatever anyone else thought of their relationship, they could shove it.

Across the table, Miroku’s gaze snagged on their intertwined hands and a scowl marred his handsome features.

Inuyasha almost sighed and slipped his fingers out from beneath hers to lean forward, gripping his knees.

Miroku had only been with The Strays for a little under two years. Inuyasha and Sango had gone through several drummers before they found the right fit and, even then, ‘right fit’ might be stretching it. At first, Inuyasha had nearly beaten the poor man senseless every time Sango had shrieked at him for rubbing her butt. However, while the hopeless lecher still didn’t have control over his wandering hands, they had learned to live with it.

Those hands had other talents that made their wayward nature more than tolerable. Miroku was a prodigy on the drums and a fucking joy to play with due to his boundless creativity. He was the extra injection of pure fun that their rather serious twosome needed. Always quick with a joke, teasing one or both when they became too sullen, the relaxed drummer had wormed his way into their hearts, becoming irreplaceable in a short amount of time.

Inuyasha no longer flinched when Sango slapped Miroku, instead just rolling his eyes in exasperation. She was able to take care of herself and, at this point, he was pretty sure it was just a weird form of flirting. He wished they would just get over themselves and fuck already. The sexual tension was becoming sickening and Inuyasha was tired of getting dirty looks any time he showed Sango a modicum of affection.

He grumbled under his breath and fiddled with the ring in his lip, flicking it against a fang with a muted click, click.

Sango hissed out a heavy breath. “Can you seriously not be quiet for five minutes?”

“We’ve been waiting forever,” Inuyasha said, jumping back to his feet to resume pacing. “How long are they gonna keep us here?”

“It takes time,” Miroku said with another eye roll. “Stop acting like a hyperactive puppy.”

“Shut it, asshole. I—”

Whatever insult had been cocked and loaded on his tongue was lost as the glass door swung open and in stepped the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Glossy black hair fell in waves around a face of alabaster and rosy cheeks that were creased with a glowing smile. Shining stormy blue eyes clashed with his as a rushed breath escaped him.

“Sorry for the wait. I’m Kagome Higurashi,” she said in soft melodic tone. “I’ve been assigned to act as your manager for the time being…”

Her voice faded away when her heavenly scent at last teased his nose and slipped down into his lungs, wrapping a fist around his heart, and squeezing tight. The finicky organ slammed against his ribs as every muscle in his body went rigid with tension. A thundering possessive growl rumbled in the back of his mind; it was a concerning reaction from the darker side of his nature that Inuyasha always tried so hard to keep hidden.

A sharp pain on his leg startled him back to the present. “Close your mouth,” Sango hissed from the chair beside him, fingers twisting into his jeans and pulling at the hair on his thigh. “You’re practically drooling.”

His teeth snapped shut as he tore his gaze from the blushing young woman to glare at his friend.

Sango’s brows raised. “Why are your eyes flickering?”

“It’s nothing,” he said, which was a lie. It was everything. Inuyasha dropped into the chair beside her, rubbing at his eyelids with a single clawed hand. “Let’s just get this the fuck over with. I’m tired of waiting around.”

Kagome cleared her throat from the head of the table. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine,” he bit out. “Mind your own damn business.”

She pursed perfect pink lips. “Well, that’s a bit of a problem because you are my business. I guess that’s where we should start.” She tossed her hair off her shoulder and rested her fingertips on the tabletop. “I am here to act as an intermediary between you and the label; I’m your advocate. My job is to get you where you want to go. So, tell me your goals, your dreams. I want to help you achieve them.”

Inuyasha released a derisive snort that drew her narrowed gaze. “What a load of shit.”

Sango dug a knuckle into his ribs.

“Please excuse my friend,” Miroku interjected. “I’m sure he didn’t mean any offense.”

“Of course, surely it was meant as a compliment.” Kagome crossed her arms over her chest.

“Come on, you seriously expect us to believe all that,” Inuyasha sneered. “You’re here to ensure we keep making the label as much money as possible.”

“Inuyasha!” Sango hissed.

“Look at her, she’s completely green, all rainbows and sunshine, talking about hopes and dreams. Gimme a fuckin’ break.”

Kagome huffed.

“I think what Inuyasha is trying to ask,” Miroku tried to smooth over, “is just how much experience you have in this field? I don’t think anyone could help but notice how young and beautiful you are.”

“Oh brother,” Sango moaned.

“Stop flirting, dickhead.”

Miroku frowned. “I’m merely trying to inject a bit of charm into the situation since you seem intent on driving her away. Given how long we’ve all been waiting for this, you would think you could put your bad boy persona away for time being and take this seriously.”

“What the fuck are you trying to say?” Inuyasha slapped a hand down on the table, the turmoil within him churning like acid in his gut.  

A sharp whistle split the tense air, pinning his ears against his skull. Three heads turned toward the petite woman at the head of the table. Kagome’s stern gaze darted between them before she sighed and brushed her hair out of her face. 

“Look, I would really like to get off on the right foot. I understand your concerns. I know I look young but let me assure you that I have plenty of experience in this business. However,” she continued with a slight blush darkening her cheeks. “In the interest of full disclosure, this is my first solo account.”

Inuyasha groaned. “See? This is what I’m talking about.”

“I have several references if you would like to see them. Although, if you’re still uncomfortable you can request a new manager.”

“Well, consider this an official request,” he said in a dry tone.

Her eyes pinched as hurt marred her beautiful features. “Why are you being such a…” she seemed to search around for a word.

“It’s okay, you can call him an asshole,” Sango said. “We always do.”

Kagome deflated right before his eyes and Inuyasha shifted uncomfortably in his seat, biting back the urge to apologize. He didn’t owe her one; this remorse was just a side-effect of the newfound instinct that was clouding his mind. One that he rejected with every fiber of his being.

After a moment, she squared her shoulders. “If that’s really what you want, I’ll find someone else, but I think you are underestimating what I can bring to the table.”

Inuyasha crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m listening.”

She tossed her hair, drowning him in a fresh wave of her intoxicating scent, sweet and earthy like fresh lavender. “I haven’t been beaten down by the system yet. You have every ounce of my dedication, every ounce of my tenacity. Your success is going to directly translate to mine. I know it may just sound like a sales pitch but it’s true. I want to push the envelope. Let’s break the mold, break some rules.”

He ran his tongue over his teeth, sizing her up and hunching forward when the slow perusal of her shapely body made a certain part of his anatomy twitch with interest. Down boy. “Have you even actually listened to the music?”

“Yes,” she replied with a small smile. “That’s why I requested you.”

His brows raised in surprise. He wouldn’t have pegged the delicate and feminine woman as a fan of punk rock. Books and covers, he supposed. He errantly wondered about her other hidden contradictions before shutting those thoughts down with a scowl.

“Excuse me,” Sango Interjected. “But when do we get into the studio?”

Kagome offered a patient smile. “Soon. We have a few formalities to work out first.”

“Like?” Miroku asked. 

She picked up a folder off the table. “Like reviewing your contracts. That’s number one on the agenda today.”

“Well, let’s get started,” Sango said, sitting forward in her chair.

“Whoa, whoa, wait up,” Inuyasha broke in. “I thought I was clear about getting someone else.”

“Stop being so stubborn,” Miroku groaned.

“Yeah, give her a shot.”

Kagome beamed at both of them and turned those sparkling blue eyes on him. “What do you say?”

Inuyasha swallowed hard, suddenly unwilling to crush the cautious hope in her smile. “Keh, whatever.”

“Fantastic!” She bounced on her toes and clapped. “I know we’ll get along just fine.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” he grumbled while catching the manilla folder she slid in his direction.

“You’re gonna be a challenge,” Kagome said with a wink. “I like that.”

Inuyasha cleared his throat and hid his flushing face behind a fall of silver hair.

They spent hours going through paperwork, proposing changes and arguing over what was realistic as Kagome jotted down notes on her copy. The entire time Inuyasha had to fight against his natural instinct to draw closer to her. He watched her like a waiting predator, cataloging each of her mannerisms and wondering at their origins. Why did she tuck her hair behind her ear or flush when she caught his eye? What did it mean when the corner of her mouth tightened like that? Was she angry or fighting a smile? 

By the end, he could barely remember anything that was said but nodded along with the others when they said they were satisfied. Kagome then stood and picked up her copy, moving to the other side of the table to get their initials on the changes made. She started with Miroku, leaning over him to point out where to sign. 

Inuyasha couldn’t stop the threatening growl that rumbled up from his chest.

Sango poked his side. “What the hell is going on with you?” she whispered. “Your eyes are flickering again.”

“Forget it,” he hissed. “I said it was nothing.” Another lie, so easily given.

“Everything okay?” Kagome asked as she circled the end of the table, coming to a stop beside Sango. 

“Yes,” she said. “We were just discussing a personal matter.”

She smiled. “Well, if you need anything, even for something personal, I’m around.”

“I don’t need anyone’s help. I said it was nothing,” Inuyasha sniped. “Am I speaking a different language?”

The sparkle in her eyes dimmed just a tad. “I was just putting it out there.”

“Well, don’t.”

Her lips thinned into a mulish line, but she let the subject drop and instead focused her attention on Sango.

Inuyasha tried to keep his eyes averted, but they were drawn to Kagome like a magnet, noting the fullness of her breasts, the curve of her waist, the length of her toned legs and the way her swishy dress clung to her rounded ass.

Before he knew it, she was turning towards him with a smile and placing her hand on his shoulder for balance, while slipping the modest stack of papers in front of him. The touch electrified Inuyasha, drawing his spine taut as a guitar string. His vision grew hazy as she led him through the sheets of paper, directing him where to sign with hushed words that seemed to be whispered directly into his sensitive ear. He barely repressed a shudder.

Fuck. This was bad.

And only grew worse as Kagome leaned further forward, brushing the generous softness of her breasts into his shoulder blade. Inuyasha’s half-hearted erection grew instantly rigid in the space of a breath. He swiveled his chair to get away from her but only managed to knock the poor woman off balance, sweeping her legs out from beneath her as she fell into his lap.

Inuyasha swallowed a groan as she wiggled around, noticing the exact moment she became aware of his…predicament. Kagome froze and looked up at him with round startled eyes that stared straight into his soul.

“Um...I-I-uh-I’m sorry,” she stammered as her cheeks pinkened.

His hands settled hard on her hips, desperate to keep her still. “It’s fine,” he bit out. “Just get off me.”

Inuyasha helped her back to her feet, taking a moment to inhale deeply as she pressed her hands into his shoulders. He stifled moan when her hair brushed over his face, drowning him in the scent of lavender and chamomile. A soft whine escaped him as she pulled away and every gaze on the table turned to him.

Inuyasha cleared his throat and jumped to his feet, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans to hide the throbbing erection that wasn’t going anywhere soon. “I need to make a call.”

“Oh!” Kagome said, following right on his heels as he stomped towards the door. “There’s a little balcony at the end of the hallway. It should be private enough.”

“Keh.” He nearly yanked the damn door off its hinges in a desperate attempt to escape her, striding down the hall toward a door that led outside and fighting the urge to look back.

“Just come back in when you’re ready. We still need to nail down everyone’s schedule.”

He waved a dismissive hand through the air and sprinted for the way out.

Once on the balcony, Inuyasha sucked in a deep lungful of exhaust ridden LA air as though it were his only salvation. Fuck, if he had to be in that room with her for another second, he would have torn the damn place apart… or pinned Kagome against the table and shoved his fucking tongue in her mouth. 

Inuyasha cursed under his breath and yanked his phone out of his pocket. He quickly scrolled through his contacts and smashed his thumb against the picture of his father’s face. It rang and rang and rang and rang before being directed to a nondescript voicemail recording. He sighed and hung up before finding his mother and calling her. Again, he was redirected to a cheery recording of her voice.

Inuyasha growled under his breath and glared down on the city beneath him, dreading his last resort call, but needing answers regardless. He clicked on the picture staring back at him from the phone screen and leaned against the railing. It rang twice before being answered.

“What do you want?”

“Nice to hear your voice too, Sess,” Inuyasha drawled.

There was a sigh on the other end of the line, as if his older half-brother was barely holding onto his last shred of patience. “I’m assuming you didn’t call me just to exchange verbal barbs.”

“Oh, but it’s so much fun,” he replied in a dry tone.

“Your purpose, little brother.”

Inuyasha sighed and ruffled a hand through the silver bangs around his face. “Is Dad with you?”

“No.”

“What about Mom?”

“No, I am not hanging around with your mother.”

“Hey! Cut it out with that crap!” Inuyasha growled. “If she hears you, it’ll make her cry.”

There was a beat of silence. “Fine,” he conceded, even the cold youkai wasn’t immune to the woman’s tears. “If you wanted to talk to either of them, why didn’t you call them instead?”

“You think I didn’t try?! No one is answering their fucking phones.” He shifted on his feet and dragged a hand over his face. “Please, Sess. I’m desperate.”

“That checks out. So, what’s the problem?” his brother asked, sounding bored.

Inuyasha took a deep breath. “I found her.”                                                               

“Who?”

He gnashed his fangs together to keep from shouting. “Her.”

“Little brother, I am about thirty seconds away from hanging up unless you start making sense.”

Fuck. He was going to have to say the words aloud, wasn’t he? “My mate. I found her.”

A long pause followed. “And? Do you need my advice on how to woo a woman?”

“What? Fuck no! I have no problems there,” Inuyasha said. “And seriously bruh, ‘woo’? What are you, some ancient feudal lord?”

Sesshomaru ignored his jibe. “Well, bruh, I’m not understanding. Father has spoken to you about this matter before.”

“Yeah, and he said it was rare, that most demons spend centuries looking for their mate, if they find them at all,” he explained.

“And?”

“And I’m twenty-fucking-three!” He shoved a hand through his hair, wishing that he had just been patient and waited for his dad to call back. “I don’t need some supernatural force trying to settle me down just yet.”

“If you truly think that’s how it works, then you’re as much of an idiot as I’ve always assumed.”

“Hey, don’t get jealous, man.”

“I do not want or need a woman in my life,” his brother said in a clipped tone.

“And you think I do?!” Inuyasha seethed, pacing the width of the balcony in agitation. “The band is just getting signed to a label. Soon, we’ll be in the studio and then touring. This fated mates shit is the last thing I need.”

Sesshomaru grumbled something unintelligible under his breath. “Have you ever considered that it may have nothing to do with her being your mate? Perhaps you’re simply attracted to her?”

He scoffed dismissively. “I think I would know.”

“Would you?” he challenged. “By Father’s own admission this is rare, even more so considering you are only a half-demon.”

“Oh, great lord of the western lands, please excuse my tainted blood,” Inuyasha deadpanned, voice thick with sarcasm.

“I’m serious. The odds of you finding or even having a fated mate are about the same as being struck by lightning. Maybe what you’re feeling is simple attraction.”

Inuyasha mulled over his words. It both pained and relieved him to admit that Sesshomaru was probably right. He had no idea how these things were supposed to go. Even now he was having trouble verbalizing the things Kagome had made him feel. Their intensity had faded once he had left that stifling room. Perhaps, he was being a tad over-dramatic.

Inuyasha rubbed a hand over his eyes. “Fuck. Maybe you’re right,” he conceded, even though that didn’t feel quite right. “I just… I’m not ready for all that.”

After a long moment of empty silence, his brother released a heavy breath. “Look, I have a meeting with Father later today. I’ll tell him to call you.”

“Thanks,” he replied, completely deflated.

“And Inuyasha,” Sesshomaru continued. “Please remember that we come from a long line of powerful demons. Fate does not control us, nor does it direct us what to feel.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. “Spare me.”

Inuyasha heard movement on the other end of the line. “I have to go. Good luck, little brother.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

His phone beeped twice before going silent. Inuyasha shoved it back into his pocket and slumped against the rail, fiddling with the two rings in his eyebrow. Somehow, that entire conversation hadn’t made him feel any better. He knew that there was something inside of him that drew him to that woman, it was undeniable, but whether it was the hands of fate or simple horniness that drove him was still up for debate. Maybe I just need to get laid.

Inuyasha’s ear flicked toward the door as it opened and closed, drawing his gaze.

“Hey!” Kagome’s soft melodic voice called out as she walked towards him. “I just saw that you were done with your phone call and I kind of need to go over a few more things with everyone.”

He straightened and strode right past her, biting back a groan when he was once again engulfed in her scent. Had any woman ever smelled so fucking…edible? “Fine, let’s get this shit over with.”

Kagome scoffed behind him. “Seriously, what is your problem? Have I done something to offend you or is ‘moody asshole’ just part of your persona?”

Inuyasha whipped around and nearly choked on his tongue. Kagome was the picture of feminine pique with her hip cocked and arms crossed over her chest, accentuating the line of cleavage between her breasts. The warm summer wind plastered her green dress to her body, outlining the little ‘v’ where her long legs met.

Mine, his demon growled from the back of his mind. “No!” Not yours, and sure as hell not mine.

“No?” Kagome asked with a shake of her head. “No, what?”

Fuck. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “No, I’m not a moody asshole.”

“Well, from where I’m standing…” She raised a brow.

“Shut up,” he snapped. “Not everyone is required to like you.”

“Like me?” she said with a delicate snort. “You don’t even know me. How could you decide one way or another?”

“I know enough.”

Kagome drew her head back like he had slapped her. She looked away, but not before he could see the hurt simmering in her eyes. “I’m not sure what there is to find so repulsive.”

Inuyasha cursed. What the hell was he doing? It wasn’t Kagome’s fault that he felt utterly confused. It wasn’t her fault that fate had the worst sense of timing. She hadn’t asked for any of this, and he had no right to keep treating her this way. Hell, if his mother ever found out about it, he would get the lecture of a lifetime, accompanied by a slap upside the head from his father.

He sighed and rubbed at the space between his brows as he stepped closer to her. “Look, I’m sorry,” he said gently. “I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings and I don’t find you repulsive.”

Kagome finally met his eyes, biting at her plush bottom lip that looked softer than a flower petal. Definitely not repulsive…

A weak chuckle escaped him as he shrugged and scratched at the back of his neck. “It’s just been a crazy few days; it’s surreal. I keep expecting to wake up from a dream, ya know?”

She pursed her lips, gaze darting over his face before she took a deep breath. “I understand. This is… a lot. I get that you’re here for the music, not all of this relentless bureaucracy. So, let me handle that, it’s literally my job. You just keep focusing on what you’re great at. Deal?”

Kagome held out her small hand to him and Inuyasha stared at it. Part of him wanted to get as far away from her as he could, to insist that she find them a new manager and forget she even existed. Even that thought made another side of him want to howl in pain, though, like somehow her existence had become integral to his being. That scared the shit out of him, but it was impossible to crush the cautious hope lighting up her blue eyes.

Before he could think better of it, Inuyasha engulfed her hand in his, brushing his fingertips over the fluttering pulse at her wrist. “Deal.”

They didn’t even shake, just ended up holding hands as the warm summer breeze encircled them. Kagome offered him a glorious smile that warmed her whole face and struck him dumb.